Aoba took his towel, damp after using it to dry his flesh, and brought it up to his sodden locks which he gently placed between the fibrous cloth. His fingers constricted around the bundle to wring out any excess moisture. Most males would vigorously rub their hair dry, but this was a habit Aoba had kept since he was a child and his hair had all the sensation of exposed nerves when touched. Once he was satisfied he wouldn't catch cold, Aoba haphazardly threw the dirtied article into the laundry hamper and gave himself a last onceover in the mirror, smiling when his eyes landed on the hickeys Ren had left scattered down his neck and across his chest.
Without worrying about a shirt, Aoba opened the bathroom door and inhaled the crisp air of the house, which he found refreshing after standing in the humid air of the bathroom for a better part of an hour. Aoba hadn't meant to take that long, but his thoughts ran away from him much like the hot water down the drain and time escaped him.
He made his way to Ren's room, the door was already open ajar so Aoba let himself in without worry. Ren was laid on his bed, arms behind his head and one leg folded over the other casually. He appeared to be staring up at the ceiling, at nothing in particular, but he must have been deep in thought about something because he hadn't noticed Aoba enter.
"Hey, Ren?" Aoba called out to him, watching in curiosity as Ren jolted to look at him, a hand coming to rest atop his now rapidly beating chest.
"A-Aoba. How long have you been here?" Ren had the feverish red of embarrassment staining his cheeks which spread up to his ears and down to his chest, usually Aoba wouldn't have thought anything of it, just assuming Ren had been having less than innocent thoughts but his eyes held not a look of longing or passion, but distress and uncertainty.
Furrowing his brow in concern, Aoba sat on the edge of the bed and gave Ren's thigh a casual and calming stroke "I just walked in then, what's up? It's not like you to be so jumpy or preoccupied, is everything alright?"
Was everything alright? No, not really. Ren couldn't tell Aoba that though, because what would he say? He was kissed by another man and liked it? Just the thought alone made him nauseous, made him want to cry. Aoba would be hurt and angry and he'd probably be disgusted by Ren, and rightfully so; but Ren couldn't stand the thought of Aoba hating him, rejecting him, because Aoba was all he needed in this world. With a soft shake of his head, Ren turned away from Aoba's worried gaze "I-I... Aoba, I don't want to talk about it"
Aoba nodded, allowing Ren his privacy in the matter but made no move to leave, instead laying slowly on Ren's chest and pulling the other's arm around him, kissing his hand "I won't push you to tell me, but you know I can't help if I don't know what the problem is."
Ren didn't answer, he instead pulled Aoba closer to him and buried his nose in the long damp strands of blue hair, inhaling Aoba's fresh scent of citrus to try and calm himself, but it only served to make Ren feel worse, and it was then he realised he had to tell Aoba, otherwise he would never be able to enjoy being with him, like this, again. If he didn't speak up now, the guilt would slowly destroy him along with their relationship.
With a shallow sigh, Ren's trembling arms held his lover in an even tighter embrace, as if scared that he would jump up in disgust and run off at any moment "I... Aoba, I'm so sorry. I just... You have to know how much I love you. I really, really love you, but..."
'I love you, but?' Aoba was scared now, what was Ren trying to say? It felt like the start of a break up and Aoba's stomach lurched while his chest filled with anxiety, thoughts jumping to the worst case scenario as they do. Ren was his whole world now, that year without him here was the most unbearable thing Aoba had ever gone through and after having him again and like this, Aoba didn't think he'd be able carry on alone anymore. Why was Ren even saying this? Was Ren not happy anymore? Had he done something wrong? After everything that happened to bring them together could Ren really want... Aoba couldn't even finish the thought before hot tears were spilling down his cheeks and landing on Ren's shirt, not that Ren noticed, too absorbed in his own confession and anxieties.
"Today while I was out doing some shopping for Tae I ran into this guy, literally. Well he was really nice and helped me pick up the things I dropped so as thanks I bought him a coffee and we were talking and laughing then before I even knew what was going on he... he kissed me, Aoba. And I didn't push him away as fast as I could have and I didn't hate it the way I should have and-"
Aoba's heart couldn't take it anymore and he let out a pained sob "Ren, don't. I don't want to hear anymore. I can't... Please, just no more. I understand okay." Aoba pulled himself from Ren's grasp and sat, back facing the other as he wiped at his now blood shot eyes, wishing he had bothered with a shirt, because it would have been that much easier to dry his face.
Ren was taken aback, he knew Aoba would be upset but he would have never guessed he would be this inconsolable. It was shattering to know that it was his own carelessness that put him in such state. Ren would have much rather Aoba yell at him and punch him in the face or give him the silent treatment... Anything would be better than this.
"Aoba... Please don't cry. It just happened and I never meant to hurt you" Ren reached out to place his hand on Aoba's shoulder but had it shrugged off violently and Ren recoiled, panicked, he didn't know what to do. "Aoba. I'm sorry, please just tell me what I can do to make things okay again."
"I don't know. How do you even make something like this okay?" Aoba choked out roughly between silent tears, he sincerely did not want to deal with this, but running away wouldn't solve anything and would just prolong this awkward and painful conversation, it would surely be best to get it out of the way before he fell apart entirely.
"I guess I just never thought this was even a possibility and maybe because of that I haven't been as attentive to you I should have, I'm sorry for that. I-in time I'll be fine" that was a lie, but what else could he say to Ren? 'if you leave I'll kill myself'? Aoba didn't want to be that person, he didn't want to trap Ren like that "I'll be fine, so you should do whatever makes you happy, because I want to see you happy... Even if what makes you happy isn't me anymore"
That last sentence had been too much for Aoba, he stood from Ren's bed and hastily made his way to the door, exiting with a muffled "excuse me, I need to be alone."
Ren watched confused as Aoba left, unable to understand what the man was saying. Aoba had always plenty attentive to his every need and Ren could never be happy without him so why was-. It was then everything came together for Ren and he realized the miscommunication. Unadulterated panic filled Ren as he leapt up from the bed and hurried to Aoba's room, practically kicking the door off its hinges in his desperation to reach his lover.
"Aoba!" Ren called out to him, heading directly for the bed where he lay. Without giving Aoba a chance to respond, Ren forced their lips together. At first Ren met resistance, but soon Aoba was melting into him, tears still rolling down his cheeks. Ren removed his lips sooner than he would have liked and cupped Aoba's face, silently wiping away the salty streaks on his flushed skin and touching their foreheads together "idiot. I wasn't breaking up with you, I could never. I love you so much Aoba that I think it might literally break my heart and kill me to not be with you."
Aoba blinked stupidly for a long moment, letting Ren's words play over in his head a few times before wrapping his shaking arms around Ren's waist and burying his hot face into the crook of his neck "I don't understand... You said you kissed another man and you liked it" Aoba's arms tightened around Ren possessively before continuing "And you love me and you're really sorry, but. Weren't you going to say but I kissed this other man and... I don't even know, it just sounded like you wanted to see other people and it hurt so much" Aoba's voice cracked and he took a few deep breaths least he go back to sobbing again.
The possessive part of Ren was extremely happy right now, if he ever needed proof that Aoba loved him, this was it right here. Ren slid a hand behind Aoba's head, cradling it and stroking soothingly with his finger tips "I'm so sorry it sounded like that, but no. I love and want only you Aoba. What I was going to say was HE kissed ME and while I didn't hate it I felt terrible after. I pushed him away after maybe four seconds and explained that I was with somebody already and he apologized, then we went our separate ways. I was just really confused and scared, I don't want to keep things from you but I didn't want to upset you and I don't understand why I didn't hate it, I feel so guilty that I didn't hate it. It should have been disgusting."
Now that Aoba was calm and had the full story, it was his turn to comfort Ren. He started by scattering kisses over Ren's face and mimicked the other's actions, stroking his scalp "Ren... I won't lie, I'm not happy somebody else got to kiss you, but it's not abnormal for you to like it. You were just presented with a physical stimuli and found it enjoyable, that's all. I'm not mad, these things will happen from time to time, especially while you get used to interacting with people, because you're pretty oblivious when being flirted with... Just be more careful in future okay? And for the love of god please don't ever scare me like that again."
Ren nodded "understood." Manoeuvring their lips together again, another slew of kisses were shared between them, though this time they were sweet and lazy and loud, both men using the intimate action to recover from their respective upsets.
Ren pulled back to look Aoba over, his eyes glazed over with his love for this man "I didn't hate his kiss, but yours are perfect and sweet and so addictive they should be illegal" he panted softly, licking Aoba's lips one last time "please Aoba, never worry I don't want to be with you. I love you"
Aoba smiled at Ren, his boyfriend was such a sap sometimes "I know, I feel so silly now... You have to promise me though, if I'm ever not fulfilling you, you need to tell me. I don't ever want there to be a chance of losing you because I'm not trying hard enough."
"It's a deal... So, are we all okay now?"
A simple nod and a chaste kiss confirmed that yes, everything was okay now.
"Oh, and Ren. I love you too."