Pairing: Voldemort x Hitler

Genre: Romance/Against

Type: One Shot

Declaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor do I own any of it's rights. (If I did, Voldemort would have a nose) Luckily, I do not own Hitler.

To the Readers: Anyone who takes this seriously should be ashamed as it is only too obvious that I'm fucking around. And there are "A Very Potter Musical" references!

Mistakes of the Soul

A TRULY SAPPY AND CREEPY LOVE STORY

INSPIRED BY A PERUVIAN FRIEND

Voldemort POV

Enter Name: Voldemort

Enter Age: 70

Enter Preference: I don't care, so long as it doesn't have a hideous scar on it's face or wear excessive amounts of jewelry.

About you:

Hi, my name is Voldemort.

My real name is Tom Riddle, but it sounds so fucking bad that I had to change it to "Voldemort." Seriously. What kind of last name is "Riddle?" If my father were still alive, I would kill him again (The unfortunate bloke is named Tom Riddle, too) and if my mother were alive, I would curse her. I could live with any name, "Dumbledore","Snape","Weasley","Longbottom"," Hagrid", ANY other name but Tom Riddle.

I'm getting off track. I probably sound like an emo-bitch that kills babies, has no friends, and is exceptionally pale. I apologize.

I have lived a very long life, full of anger and lack of social experience. I grew up with people around me, but I never really felt any attachment to them, be it female or male or animals. I enjoyed the company of snakes, but I realized (after ejaculating to a picture of a snake wrapped around a Muggle's neck) that it would be best that I did not pursue sexual or emotional relationships with snakes. These last 17 years have been hard, I got outsmarted by people of lesser status and power and lost a lover. It was hard. I did not think I could stand up to the challenge of happiness. But I have and am, even if I have a few scrapes on my knees.

I do not fall in love easily, but when I do...I fall so mother-fucking hard that I attach my soul to yours. (Literately)

I'm an adventurous guy, sexually and otherwise. I'm up for an challenge, are you?

Enter photo: (Uploads photo of himself in Sweden with a photo-shopped nose and tan)

Voldemort surveyed his profiled," I think it sounds well. Hopeful, open, and slightly desperate...Yes, yes."

Voldemort closed the Match-Maker tab after publishing his profile and went on a porn site. As always, Voldemort ended his "me" time calm and slightly disappointed," Oh! If I only had someone to enjoy these moments with!" He cried raising his hands in the air, then wiping a fallen tear.

He stood abruptly. Voldemort picked up the skirts to his robes and rushed over to his nightstand, he pulled out a black and white photo and examined his lost lover's face.

The photo does not capture his beauty, Voldemort thought sullenly. The man's face was fierce and apologetically disgusted, his suit well tailored and his glorious beard closely trimmed.

"No!" Voldemort shouted," I must not allow myself to binge on such thoughts!"

Voldemort put the picture back in the drawer and roughly shut it," I must forget you my beloved Adolf!"

While dressed in his night-dress, Voldemort climbed into bed, freshly showered and shaved. As always his dreams were filled of his Adolf Hitler.

Germany, 1937

Voldemort laid in a bed full of wool and soft silks, his robes lay entangled with Hitler's on the foot of the bed.

Voldemort felt warm arms around him. He smiled softly and turned his head," You're awake."

Hitler smiled," I am."

Voldemort responded to Hitler's hug by wrapping a leg around Hitler's waist, Hitler's hard penis pressed against Voldemort's belly button.

Voldemort chuckled," Did you not get enough last night?"

"Never!" He growled," I will never have enough of you."

Hitler pressed his lips into the nape of Voldemort's neck, making Voldemort giggle.

Voldemort suddenly frowned," I was asked a question on Friday..."

"Of?"

"A little girl with ugly hair and a snaggle tooth...asked me if I ever loved anyone. At first, I was bothered by the fact that a muggle girl of low status would dare talking to me, but I could not stop thinking about..."

Hitler pulled back," You had told me numerous times that you have and never will love anyone."

Voldemort nodded," I have."

Voldemort paused, took a deep breath and continued," but I think I do now."

Hitler sat up and ran his thick hands through his thinning hair," Voldemort..." he said exasperated.

"I know! I know, you could never love me as much as you had loved Geli, but...could you try?"

Hitler stood from the bed, naked as his birth day.

He walked over to the window and at stared intently at calm sky.

Voldemort sat up, covering his body with the sheets," Talk to me Adolf!"

Hitler did not respond. Voldemort was about to pull out his wand when Hitler spoke," I like you Voldemort, truly. You're young, handsome, and glorious, however, there are plenty of other beautiful people," Hitler pulled a new outfit from his closet and started to dress.

"Am I nothing to you, then?" Voldemort asked angrily.

"No, I like you far more than most people."

"Even that insipid Eva?"

"Especially, the twat has no common sense. She follows me around like a lost puppy. No soul or energy, oblivious to my ideas and means to achieve them. You are, which makes you all the more important to me," he grinned," And I know of your ambitions."

Voldemort's jaw dropped," How?"

"I listen when you talk. You're hoping to conquer England, no?"

Voldemort studied the ground," Possibly."

Hitler laughed and kissed Voldemort's cheek," I'm glad I could inspire you to do so."

Hitler left the room soon after to attend a meeting, leaving naked Voldemort wrapped in sheets.

If only I could show my affection to Adolf! Surely, once he notes my strong affection for him, he could accept and replicate my love! I'm a wizard! Of course I can think of a way show my affection.

Voldemort woke up from his dreams with a start, he was drenched in sweat and his heart was beating rapidly.

"I will not be like Adolf, unable to move on from a lost love!"

He walked briskly to his computer and opened his Match-Maker profile.

1 New Request.

Giddy, Voldemort opened the profile.

Quirinus Quirrel

"He is not bad looking," Voldemort said when he examined Quirrel's profile picture.

Voldemort read Quirrel's message.

Hi! I'm a Quirrel...um, I liked your profile message. I too enjoy sadistic pleasures! Um, okay, bye!

Voldemort was about to respond when he remembered Hitler.

Germany, 1943

"I am not going to win this war, Voldemort."

"So, let me help you!" He screamed," I'm a wizard!"

"I will not use witchcraft," he responded calmly back," I have started this wave on my own, I will end it on my own."

"You're a weak fool."

"Weak? I think you really mean "noble," you would never accept help either, Voldemort, you know this."

Voldemort clenched his fist.

"I have to go now, you should go back to your school and let me worry about this..."

He turned his back and for a moment, Voldemort experienced unimaginable pain and loss before he pulled out his wand; without knowing what he was doing or saying - he was just feeling, and unleashed a wave of color and light from his wand tip.

There was a loud bang and everything was silent.

Voldemort quickly pressed accept on Quirrel's request and laid his cheek on the cool steel of his desk.

"I'm the fool. How could I not have realized that Adolf never loved me?"

Voldemort had put Adolf on such a high pedestal that he was blinded reality. Truth is, Hitler had never loved or cared about Voldemort. Hitler was inspired by Voldemort's ideas and only wanted his opinions, not companionship. Everything Hitler said was a lie.

Voldemort felt betrayed and resigned. It took him decades to come to this conclusion.

"If only I had realized sooner," he sobbed.

"I only wanted to take over the world in Adolf's name, to seek revenge for his failure! I'm pathetic! I'm as silly and insipid as Eva!"

He banged his fist on the desk.

Germany, April 30, 1945

"How could you marry her!" Voldemort screamed.

Adolf pushed Eva's limp body away from his," I had to."

"Why?"

"To leave a legacy!"

"One you could not leave with me? I would die for you! I would marry you!"

"You could never die for me, Voldemort, you're too stubborn. I needed someone with no thought or regard for her surroundings. She could accomplish nothing where you could accomplish all that I have lost."

"I hate you!" Fresh tears fell from Voldemort's eyes," I never want to see you again."

"You wont," Hitler promised.

Voldemort, unthinkingly, told him what he vowed he wouldn't when he raised his wand to Hitler," Your soul is attached to mine! You cannot die by simple pills! Only I can kill you!"

Hitler, abashed, stood face-to-face with Voldemort.

For a second, they shared an intense gaze. Hitler then raised his hand and slapped Voldemort.

Voldemort fell the the ground dramatically," Ugh!"

"You truly are a fool. I need to die! My life will be full of pain and disappointment if I live! How could I carry on a life knowing I failed and never can raise again? Could you?"

Tears splashed down Voldemort's face," Adolf...my love..."

Adolf kicked Voldemort and Voldemort squealed.

"You either kill me or I will loath you! Do you want my love? Kill me!"

Voldemort shook his head.

Adolf kicked Voldemort again and again.

Finally, Voldemort pulled out his wand and yelled," Avada Kedavra!"

Voldemort licked his lips in anticipation.

Today, he is meeting with the man who has charmed the hell out of Voldemort - Quirrell.

Voldemort sat, with his legs crossed, in some crapped pub outside of London. He was not waiting long, but it was long enough to make Voldemort nervous.

Finally, the shop door opened and Quirrell, dressed in fine robes, walked in. His smile bright and his eyes full of laughter.

"Voldemort?"

Voldemort nodded.

For the first time since 1944, Voldemort felt excited.

NOTES: I did not realize the ages until I did the math...which was when I finished the story. Oh, well. Pretend Voldemort is older...or don't, if that's what you're into.