Scarred pasts
While driving down the busy streets towards Russell's apartment block, Amy, squished in with all her suitcases, reflected on the past few months. Nat, after the break from the manhunt, was now placed in charge of finding Frank and Karen, dead or alive. Five months into her relationship with Russell, and already she was moving with him. Not that she was scared, the previous anxiety of their kisses and dates had all faded away, just as she did when Russell took her into his strong arms. Amy looked to the future with complete happiness, for the first time in her life. "You ok back there Amy? You look like you've gone to another world," Roxie said playfully, a grin spreading across her face as Amy was suddenly brought back down to earth. "Yeah, I'm fine Roxie, I'm just…nervous and excited at the same time," Amy breathed out, struggling to maintain her composure. "Oh leave the poor girl alone Roxie," Ace scolded while looking fondly back at Amy. "Don't worry Amy, we can be nervous together, after all, I have a baby on the way!" Ace chuckled as his classic DeLorean rolled on. Amy smiled at the prospect of children, picturing a healthy, green eyed cherub in her arms. Shaking her head, Amy's heart nearly jumped out of her chest as Russell's handsome picture appeared on her phone screen as her phone began to ring loudly. "Sorry guys, I need to take this, shh!" Amy hurriedly said as she accepted the call. "HI RUSSELL!" Roxie shrieked at the top of her lungs before bursting into laughter as Amy nervously said "Hey Russell," into the receiver. "Please pass onto Roxie my most gracious regards," Russell chuckled through the receiver, sending shivers down Amy's back. "Are you almost here my sweet? I am anxiously awaiting your arrival," Russell's suave voice graced Amy once again, before replying "we should be there soon, the question is how much of my crap with go up in the elevator or up the steps with me," Amy laughed affectionately, joining Russell's soft toned chuckles. "Very well my love, just let me know when you get here," Russell finished tenderly. "Until then Russell," Amy joined, blowing kisses into the receiver before hanging up. Ace, who was holding a hand over Roxie's mouth, let her cackles loose when he saw Amy hang up.
"I bet you wish you were still laughing now Roxie," Amy huffed as she dragged two heavy suitcases up, looking down on her struggling companion. She had charged Ace with guarding her leftover luggage while she and Roxie endured staircase after staircase while carrying two suitcases each. "Why the heck did Russell have to choose the fourth floor?" Roxie cried, exasperated and exhausted after only two staircases. "He says he likes the exercise," Amy replied through breaths of exhaustion, causing Roxie to groan in pain. "Quite right my dear," came an urbane reply some distance ahead of Amy. The sight of Amy's flushed face brought an affectionate smile to Russell's face, as he made his way towards his girlfriend and her companion. "Thank god Russell," Roxie breathed out, dropping the suitcases as Russell took both handles effortlessly. "Well Amy, I'll be off now, have fun unpacking!" Roxie called out as she began walking down the steps. Amy, now waiting on the landing, had goose bumps as she saw Russell's biceps flex under his trademark shirt as he carried Amy's suitcases up to her. Looking back up, Russell drank in the form of Amy, wearing her characteristic skirt and a navy tank top, her lithe hands fumbling in front of her. Taking hold of her hands, Russell looked devotedly into Amy's bright eyes before lightly kissing her forehead. "I think you should carry my stuff more often Russell," Amy said with a twinkle in her eye as she grabbed her suitcases, running up the stairs. Russell, chuckling mischievously, raced after her. However, at the top of the staircase, stood Amy and Senior Trooper Ace, surrounded by luggage. "There you are Russell! I was knocking for what seemed like millennia!" exclaimed Ace as he lugged Amy's bags in the direction of the door, as Russell hurriedly unlocked his door. "My apologies Ace, I decided to relieve Roxie of her luggage," Russell explained while hauling luggage into his now shared apartment. "Well I'd better be on my way now, good luck unpacking you two," Ace said with a smile as he closed the door. Now alone in their apartment, Amy looked back at Russell.
"Do you need my assistance in unpacking my dear" Russell enquired kindly to break the silence that hung thick in the air. Amy, breathing in deeply, smiled in a friendly manner before nodding. Dragging the nearest available suitcase into the bedroom, Amy asked "where am I allowed to put my stuff?" as Russell carried another suitcase onto the bed. "Wherever you wish my love, though I have prepared that chest of drawers and half of the closet for you already," he replied with a smile, as he began to unzip the suitcase. "If you don't mind my asking my dear, but why so many suitcases?" Russell enquired gently, as Amy looked up in wonder. "Oh…that…well some of this stuff I will just keep in the suitcases, because I don't think they'll be room for it," Amy bashfully admitted. Russell, curious, continued down this line of investigation, "Why not bring them out? I can make room if necessary," he asked politely as Amy's happy demeanor began to slip. "Well…uh…it's stuff from my childhood, stuff that belonged to my brother…" Amy admitted, and Russell then understood the gravity of Amy's pain. "I salvaged what I could before my mother could either send it off to him or get rid of it," Russell moved to slip his arms around his beloved girlfriend, as her lower lip began to quiver. "I thought if we relocated to White Peaks that I'd be able to my job more easily, knowing the workings of the place, but it turned out to be the hardest district I'd ever tackled," Amy went on, shaking while holding back tears. "Especially the last case," she said, sitting back on the bed. Russell, touched by Amy's disposition to share intimate details of her mental state, sat beside her, slowly caressing her shaking hands. "I confess, my feelings are conflicting at the moment my dear," he quietly admitted to his vulnerable girlfriend, "On the one hand, I feel honored that you would share this with me," he said, while watching Amy's face slowly produce a smile, "and on the other hand, I feel infuriated, that such horrors would happen to such a lovely creature such as you." Feeling her heart swell, Amy leant her head on Russell's broad shoulder.
Russell's own mind was spinning with emotions and memories, so much so that he allowed his stoic exterior to admit some inkling of feeling of what he was feeling. After some silence, Amy asked in a concerned tone, "Russell? You're scaring me, what's wrong?" Russell suddenly snapped out of his memory induced coma, addressed Amy. "Nothing my love, I was simply reminiscing my younger years," Russell replied calmly, conflicting with the thoughts swirling around his head. Amy then moved closer to Russell, putting her legs over his thighs before snuggling in. "Does it involve anything you want to talk about?" Amy enquired innocently. Russell's hesitance slowly melted away as he stared into Amy's sea blue eyes, as he slowly nodded before beginning. "You know of my growing up in the Utopian cult correct?" Amy nodded slowly, pondering the stress of Ivywood cases had on Russell. "What do you know of cults my dear?" Russell asked slowly, peering closely into Amy's innocent face as it contorted in confusion. "Well…I know they manipulate people to join, cut them off from the outside world and make them feel like they have no escape?" Amy said suggestively, worry forming in her face as Russell sighed deeply. "Well my dear, sums my experience up perfectly. It was my father's idea to join, originally. I was only 4 years old at the time, but I can never erase what happened," Russell said sadly as Amy's concern grew, forming wrinkles in her forehead. "What happened, Russell? I want to help you," Amy faked cheer as she didn't want to cause Russell any more pain. Russell, breathing deeply, continued, "My father had many friends in the cult, and joined for the sake of seeing them. My mother went with them often, so I was regularly left in the care of some of my father's friends," Russell swallowed, shuddering as he continued. "They were no friends to me, let's just say," Russell whispered as his eyes began to fill with tears, "At first, it was just insults, then…" Russell paused to regain his composure.
Amy, whose heart dropped as she saw Russell struggling to hold back the emotion and tears threatening to spill, gently placed her hand on Russell's shoulder. "I think I can guess Russell, its ok, you're safe now," she said gently as Russell finally let his tears flow down his handsome face, as she embraced him more firmly. "I told my mother after I left, my father still doesn't know…" Russell admitted after several moments of quietly sobbing into Amy's arms. Amy's curiosity turned into horror as she thought back on the last case of Ivywood they had tackled, in which she had learned Russell's mother had died shortly after he had left the cult. "Russell…your mother…did she…" Amy started saying as Russell finished her line of enquiry. "Yes…and worse still my little sister was taken away," Russell sadly admitted, pulling out a picture of a young Filipino girl. "Rose Laliana, but I called her Rosy when I was younger. Apart from Holly's being sent to jail, my confession and my mother's death were the only major blows the cult suffered," Russell continued, with a hint of anger in his usually soft voice. "Three mishaps in contrast to the wrecking ball through my childhood it caused!" Infuriation suddenly breaking through as Russell yelled out into the room, Amy still rubbing his back. "I…I had no idea of how much it hurt you…" Amy said, hanging her head in shame. Russell, suddenly attuned to his girlfriend's pain, held her tightly as he lifted her chin to him. "That's why I was so determined to stop the brainwashing, why it made me stronger to save you," Russell said, sending Amy's mind back to the time where it had been blank. "Do not fret my dear, there is some good in it. Had it not been for their actions, I would never had studied criminal psychology, my curiosity behind their intentions would not have grown had they not done what they did. It's what brought me to my job in the police, without it I would never had met you." Russell looked up, smiling at Amy as a light blush spread across her face. "I'm glad you're happy now Russell, thank you for sharing your story with me," she said fondly as Russell's eyes slowly cleared of tears.
"One thing still bothers me though, if your father has made a significant effort to improve, even leave the cult, why is your sister still kept from the both of you?" Amy enquired politely as Russell sat thinking. "I am not sure my dear, perhaps the authorities still feel that he has not changed and I am in no position to care for a child…yet," Russell replied with hope in his voice. Amy stared into Russell's eyes, her voice filled with determination as she said, and "I know what it's like to lose a sibling Russell, I swear to you we will get Rose back." Amy said assuredly as Russell's usually resigned features relaxed, to form an expression of pure joy. Amy, after sighing with surety, said "Well one thing's for sure, at least you have one parent who's decent now," she said cheerfully, as Russell burst into laughter. "Definitely, after a few years of catching up," he wheezed through chuckles and laughs. "I remember hearing tales of your mother from Ace, I must admit, it puts my dysfunctional family to shame," Russell's tone drifted from humor filled to serious, as Amy's smile began to fade when mentions of her mother entered the conversation. Her hostile emotions quickly faded as Russell wrapped his arms around her, gently guiding her down onto the bed. "I will always protect you, no matter what," Russell said resolutely yet softly as he lay down beside Amy. Touched by these words, Amy propped herself up on her forearms before rolling onto her belly, looking seriously at Russell. "Even from yourself?" she asked nervously. Russell, with a bewildered look, asked "what do you mean my love?" as his hand slid gently south from her back. "It's just…now that we're living together…there's an expectation…that…" Amy fought to find the words as Russell's hand continued its southward venture. "I've never…never had someone so interested in me like you have, and…I've never…" Russell shushed her gently as his hand quickly made its way to her shoulders. "I believe I know what you mean my dear and yes, I will protect you, even from any pain I may cause you, which I will endeavor to spare you from in the future," Russell said lovingly before leaning in to kiss Amy, slowly yet full of passion, before curling her into his chest as they both fell into a deep, satisfying sleep.