Chapter 4: Trolls, Trolls and more Trolls
It was at least 6 o'clock when the BPRD turned up at the east end of the Brooklyn Bridge. Rapunzel and Hiccup had been reading on the history of the bridge beforehand, so they could recognize it as they pulled over. The BPRD agents had opened up a large wooden box, revealing two gold pendants which Rapunzel and Merida were now wearing around their necks- one shaped like a wolverine, the other one like a chameleon. The same pendants they'd used to fight against Rasputin back in Russia.
"My one seems a bit worse for wear," Merida grumbled as she adjusted the magical item around her neck. Behind her, Hellboy was busy grousing about Johann under his breath.
"'Not viz me, Agent, not viz me!'" he imitated Krauss' electronic German accent. "What an ego!"
"I like him," Manning replied, whilst walking off down the truck ramp.
"Well, you can keep him!" Hellboy snapped back at him. He then walked over to lean on top of a pair of heavy wooden crates. "Am I the only one who thinks this guy is…?"
"No, no, don't lean!" Abe called quickly, prompting the big demon to get his elbows back off the boxes. He looked at them himself. "Lot 336, the Schuftein spectacles," he murmured aloud. "Could it be?"
Krauss nodded. "Ja, ze last surviving pairs. Zere are only three of zem, but ve vill use zem to locate ze Troll Market!"
"Oh, Dr. Krauss, the Schuftein spectacles!" Abe cried excitedly. "What a coup! You, sir, are my new hero!"
"Why don't you lick his shoes, Abe?" Jack sarcastically remarked as he walked out of the truck. Hiccup shot him a dirty look, then turned to Hellboy.
"Look, Hellboy," the young Viking said. "I know that you don't like Dr. Krauss, but we'll need his help in order to find this Troll Market place. So please, try to get along with him at least, for today."
Hellboy sighed long and hard, then looked up at Hiccup and nodded. "Ok, Hiccup, I'll be nice," he agreed, before walking off to reload his gun. Hiccup was wearing his dragon-riding armour, Rapunzel was wearing pink-and-purple scale armour, whilst Jack was in ice-blue Inuit-type clothes of his own making- Merida just wore a tartan cat-suit for agility.
Krauss then spoke to the whole group, "I vould like to suggest zat ve limit ze numbers of our expedition. Trolls, like bears, do not like being ozer-crowded. So ze only people who vill be going in are me, Agent Hellboy, Agent Sapien, and ze members of ze Big Four- Agent Frost, Princess Rapunzel, Princess Merida, und Agent Hiccup."
Toothless growled sharply to remind Krauss that he was still there.
"And ze dragon also," Krauss corrected himself.
Just then, a man came walking by with his friend and called, "Hey, you're Hellboy?"
"Yeah," the demon in question called back.
"You're ugly, man!" the man shouted, before his friend threw a can of booze at his feet.
"Och, ye're no handsome sight yersel', man!" Merida shouted at him. The men looked angry and were about to approach her, but a deafening roar from Toothless soon convinced them otherwise.
"Aye, we've got a dragon, so ye cannae touch us!" Hellboy taunted them in Merida's accent. The two men then grunted irritably before walking off together.
As soon as they were gone, Merida then added, "Take nae heed o' that, Red. They're just two cowardly boasters talkin' out o' their ane backsides."
The big demon chuckled warmly before walking over to his girlfriend, who was listing the number of cameras they'd need in order to find a troll.
"Two more on the wall in front of me, and then three on the alley facing that way," she said to Astrid and Flynn, who were setting up the cameras. "And maybe one on top of your dragon, Astrid."
"She's got sharp enough vision already, Liz," Astrid replied. "I can scout ahead perfectly on Stormfly."
"Right, let's get to it, then," the black-haired pyrokinetic said, and Astrid called Stormfly over, then climbed back onto the colourful dragon's back before flying off to look for a troll.
Minutes later, another bunch of drunken louts came driving by, and one of them leaned out of the car window to ask, "Hey, are you Hellboy?"
"Say he's ugly an' I'm gonnae pepper yer backside with arrows," Merida snarled at him.
"B-but I wasn't gonna!" the man stuttered nervously, before withdrawing back into his car and driving off. No-one insults me friends, Merida thought.
"So, what do you think of Mr. 'Know-it-all' so far?" Hellboy asked his girlfriend.
"I don't know, too early to tell," Liz replied, before then cupping her boyfriend's large red face in her hands. "He is sure of himself, and maybe you're a little intimidated by him."
Hellboy looked highly sceptical. Normally, he was the one who intimidated people, not the other way around. Just then, however, gas-head Krauss interrupted, and gave the order to move out.
Whilst the rest of the BPRD agents were elsewhere, back aboard the garbage truck, Manning, Flynn and Liz were busy checking up on the CCTV. Flynn was inspecting one of the Schuftein spectacles- white leather straps, with a brown half-mask covering the right side of the face, whilst only the eye-rim was decorated on the left side. The spectacles themselves were glass lenses in collapsible metal tubes, like a pair of opera glasses.
"So, Liz," he asked, relaxed in his chair with his feet up. "Just what do these Shove-Eyes…?"
"Schuftein," Liz corrected him.
"Sorry," Flynn felt somewhat humiliated, since being German, he should have known how to pronounce that word himself. "What do these Schuftein spectacles do?"
Liz filled him in. "Well, you see, Flynn, normally Trolls and other mythical beings generate a cloaking aura. But in 1878, a German called Emile Schuftein created these. The spectacles contain four pairs of crystal dioptres which penetrate the shielding effect, and reveal the troll's true nature."
"Right," Flynn murmured suavely.
Back with the Big Four, they were off at the East End of the Brooklyn Bridge, busy trying out the Schuftein spectacles.
"Dr. Krauss, they're even more beautiful than I had imagined," Abe said as he toyed with the glass and metal mechanisms.
"So you must try zem on, zen," Krauss replied.
"Oh, yes," Abe agreed, as he fitted the spectacles onto his head.
"And my, just look at those little straps!" Rapunzel gushed to Pascal, whilst brushing the spectacles with her elegant fingers.
"Intimidated?" Hellboy grumbled to himself, before then saying to Johann Krauss, "Hey, Mr. Kraut…?"
"Krauss, Agent!" the ectoplasmic German reprimanded him. "Zere is a double S, remember?"
"SS, right." The demon corrected himself, cringing at Rapunzel's look of disapproval of his anti-German attitude. "Those gizmos, how do you know they work?"
Abe then said to him, "Hellboy, when was the last time you filed your horns? They've grown back to their full length already."
Hellboy felt his brow to check for horn growth- they were still filed-down stumps as always. "No, they're still stumps, Abe."
Abe frowned. "Well, these glasses, they say differently. When I looked at you just now, your horns were fully regrown- and their tips were on fire as well."
Hellboy nodded slowly, then gruffly added, "Well, I hope we don't have to see them again."
And Rapunzel nodded. The last time Hellboy's horns had grown back was when Rasputin tried to manipulate him into unlocking his full power and releasing the terrifying Ogdru Jahad upon mankind. Upon realizing what he was doing, he just managed to stop Rasputin by snapping his horns off, thus re-imprisoning the monsters and foiling the evil mystic's plans to rule the world. He'd been filing his horns diligently ever since.
But that is a different story altogether. Liz then called to them over their communicators, "Guys, I have a suspect. Astrid and Stormfly just sighted a Troll heading back to the Market."
"Give me a vector, Agent Sherman, give me a vector!" Krauss called back.
"B 12, alley, north alley," Liz replied.
"Zat's ze target," Krauss repeated to his group-mates. "Ve're coming down," he then said to Liz before they moved out.
"What kind o' Troll is it, Lizzie?" Merida called, tightening her grip on her transformation pendant.
Liz laughed softly. "You'll like it, Merida. It's a Scottish Troll."
Back in the BPRD truck, Liz said to Manning and Flynn, "I'm just going out. Keep an eye on it." She pointed at the suspect on the CCTV footage. It was an old lady, with an untidy grey bird's nest of hair, dark brown eyes, and a black coat and hat. Entirely harmless-looking to most people.
Including Manning. "What, this old lady is a Troll?" he said sceptically. "Come on."
But Liz' expression was unwavering. "It's a Fragglewump," she said. "An ugly Scottish Troll which lives in sea caves." She then picked up a birdcage with a canary in it.
"AAAAAAARRGGGGGGHHH!" Flynn screamed, as he slipped on the Schuftein spectacles and took a close look at the CCTV footage. The old lady was now a seriously revolting sight.
Liz smirked. "Told you, Rider," she said to him.
"Alright, why did you send Blondie to that thing with a canary?" Flynn asked, as soon as he'd calmed down.
"Fragglewumps are scared of canaries," Liz replied. "They try to peck their eyes out and poo on their heads."
"Canaries, huh?" Manning noted the shopping trolley full of cages with cats in them- the Fragglewump was pushing the trolley in front of it. "What about the cats?"
"She feeds on them," Liz replied casually, before walking off.
Flynn's expression was both shocked and revolted. "That thing's a she?" he asked, looking at the ugly Troll again.
"Well, I'm not kissing it to find out," Manning said to the handsome swashbuckler. "Eats cats, huh? Hellboy's not gonna like that."
Back with the group, they had been following the old lady further down the alley until they came to an abrupt halt and tried to hide themselves behind a dumpster, whilst Toothless tucked himself between the bin bags to look at the old lady.
"Och, she's an ugly one," Merida hissed under her breath to Hellboy. "I havnae seen a worse-lookin' Fragglewump since one time me and me family visited the Orknies back in 1149!"
"Pardon me, Princess," Krauss asked. "But how can you see zat Troll vizzout ze spectacles?"
"Tha' Troll is frae Scotland. I'm frae Scotland. I've seen sae many spirits an' monsters there, I dinnae need magical eyes tae recognize them!"
"And I can see her as well," Hiccup added. "Since the age of five, I used to go out hunting for Trolls in the forests. This one's not a Scandinavian Troll, but I can see it anyway."
Krauss turned his head to Jack and Rapunzel. "And you, Frost and Princess? Vot is your excuse?"
"Well, I'm invisible except to people who believe in me, so I can see things that most people can't," Jack said.
Rapunzel simply said, "When you've spent eighteen years living with a chameleon that can camouflage itself, it does wonders to your eyesight."
Krauss nodded. "Fair enuss."
Just then, Hellboy stuck his head up over the dumpster, and Krauss pulled him back down again.
"Down, you fool!" he hissed. "Vot do you think you're doing?"
"She's gonna eat the cat!" Hellboy protested fiercely. Jack sympathised with him- he'd almost forgotten that the big demon was an avid cat-lover. Watching this was sheer torture for him.
"You vill alert her to our presence," Krauss snapped, but Toothless was also getting agitated, his growling beginning to softly increase in volume, though the Fragglewump paid him no attention- perhaps she just thought he was a large hound of some kind.
"I think we should use the canary," Rapunzel said, pointing to Abe's birdcage tucked under one arm.
"She's gonna eat it!" Hellboy hissed desperately.
"We should use the bird, Mr. Krauss," Hiccup said, trying to reason with the glass-headed German.
"She's gonna…" Hellboy protested.
"You vill all stay put and follow my orders," Krauss sternly replied.
"Look, we can't sit by…" Abe insisted.
"Under my command, you have to obey!" Krauss was getting angry now, but Hellboy was even angrier.
"Oh, forget this!" he snarled, before getting up from behind the dumpster and stepping in plain view of the Fragglewump, who was about to eat one of the cats. Toothless, Jack, Hiccup, Rapunzel and Merida followed him, whilst Abe brought up the rear.
The Fragglewump's eyes, though its appearance had not change, had been getting disturbingly wide, as had its mouth, as it bent down over the cat. Now its hungry expression had turned to one of gentle surprise as it looked up at the 8 newcomers.
"Lucy, we're home!" Hellboy said to the supposed old lady.
"Oh, hello, dearies," the Fragglewump said in a Scottish accent(whatever else you could say about it, it was undoubtedly a woman). "What can I do for ye?"
But Hellboy's mock-cheery tone had now turned intimidating. "Give it up, nasty, we can see you."
And the Fragglewump's expression faltered, as did its physical appearance, so that what stood before them was no longer an old Scottish woman, but a sickeningly deformed-looking Troll. The Fragglewump wore no clothes, and its skin was wrinkled and flabby. Its head was misshapen and round, with little on top except for some long, sparse black hairs- its nose was small, and its tight lips pursed around sharp little teeth like a weasel, and its eyes were a melancholy stone-turquoise, wide-spaced in its face. The Troll's arms were small in proportion with the rest of its body, with very thin wrists and jointed fingers with short black claws- they looked almost like a Tyrannosaur's arms. Its legs, on the other hand, were very long and large, its ankles pointing forwards like a horse's fetlocks. And its toes were shaped more like arched fingers, with dirty brown nails. And its bottom hung behind it like a bloated ant's abdomen.
Currently, though, this ugly animal looked more terrified than terrifying.
"Ye see me?" she cried, her voice still that of an old lady. "How? How can ye see me?"
Hellboy tapped his and Abe's Schuftein spectacles, then added for the rest of the group, "These guys just have good eyes."
Hiccup stepped forwards, drawing Inferno from its sheath in case the Fragglewump got violent. "Hey, Troll," he said casually, "We're looking for the entrance to the Troll Market. Have you got any clues?"
The Fragglewump bared her teeth. "I'm warnin' ye, Viking laddie," she growled, "come any closer an' I'll rip out yer hearrrrrrt!"
Merida, her own expression dangerous, pinched her transformation pendant as she jumped forwards. Ginger fur grew from her skin, rapidly changing into fur, her fingernails lengthened to claws, and her face grew into a muzzle, so that when she fell on top of the Fragglewump, she had become a human-sized orange wolverine.
"No' if I rip your heart out first, Fragglewump!" the transformed princess snarled, pressing her claws against the flabby wrinkles of the Troll's throat. The rest of the Four were quickly turning just as threatening- Rapunzel drew her frying pan, Jack creating a spiked ball of ice atop his staff, Hiccup ignited Inferno, and Toothless bared his teeth and began to build up fire in his throat.
"A Night Fury!" the Fragglewump whimpered. "I thought they were all dead!"
"No, but you'll be all dead in a minute if you dinnae show us the way!" Merida continued, pressing her claws in a bit deeper; she pricked the skin slightly, drawing a small bead of blood.
"I think we'll have to get a bit old school, Merida," Hellboy said, before nodding to Abe and adding, "Pass me the bird, please." The psychic fish person quickly passed him the canary cage, which he brandished in front of the Troll's face.
"Oh, no!" she sobbed. "Not a canary!"
"Well, look at that; she's afraid of this little guy." Hellboy said to Abe. "Who would have suspected it?"
"Me," Jack replied. "I've got into fights with some Fragglewumps before. They all ended up in hysterics the moment they went in the petshop."
"Shut up," Hiccup said to the annoying spirit.
"No more, no more!" the Fragglewump protested from beneath Merida. "I'll take ye there."
"Good," Hiccup said. "Now release those cats from their cages."
Not bothering to shield herself again, the Troll pushed Merida off, unlocked all her cages and began releasing the cats, which ran off mewing cheerfully.
"We could keep them," Hellboy suggested.
"No," Hiccup corrected him.
"You've got enough cats as it is, Red," Hiccup continued. "And your house is too crowded anyway."
"Fine," Hellboy sighed, then Merida changed back into her normal form and pointed an arrow at the Fragglewump's face.
"Come on, let's go, ye dirty old Troll," the princess growled, turning the ugly creature around and making her walk forwards. The Fragglewump led them into the back of a butcher's shop, where the meat was hung up on metal hooks. She pushed away a signpost with her little hands, revealing a tunnel entrance which they went down.
"Agent Sherman," Krauss said over the communicators. "Ve are now going into ze Troll Market. Keep communication to a minimum. Over and out."
"I like him," Manning said back at the garbage truck. "See, this is a man who takes charge."
"Do you think?" Liz sneered, looking at the footage showing Krauss holding back from the brouhaha ensuing between the Fragglewump and the Big Four.
Manning ignored her tone and continued, "Yes, he is efficient, you see. He is precise."
"If you add resistant to that, you could be talking about a new watch," Tooth jibed. She was perched next to one of the computers, watching Jack walking behind the Fragglewump, and admiring the way he swept back his icy white hair….No! Stop that, Tooth! You've got more important things to think about.
Manning continued, "Dr. Krauss is well aware of the chain in command."
"Oh, no," Liz grumbled as she got up and walked off.
"And he appears to like me," the BPRD director continued.
"You keep telling yourself that, Manning," Flynn scoffed to himself.
Back in the tunnel, the Big Four had now come before a massive metal made of cogs and gears, with Roman numeral codes above the entrance, and long metal cables running from electrical boxes along walls. Next to the door were three tumblers on the wall, like safe mechanisms.
"Man, that's some door," Hellboy murmured as he looked up at the door.
"It's got a complex combination lock," Krauss added as he looked at the tumblers. "Vot do you zink, Agent Sapien?"
"Not good," Abe replied. "With the number of symbols on the combination, we'll be here for days."
"Not if ve do things my vay," Krauss began, but Hellboy interrupted him.
"Let me try my technique," he said, then turned to the Fragglewump. "Open it, Lucy."
"No!" the Fragglewump replied obstinately. Merida pressed her arrow against the ugly pest's spine.
"Please open it, ye stubborn mule!" she said through a forced smile.
"I will no'!" the Fragglewump snapped.
"Pretty please," Hellboy wiled, whilst leaning forwards with his canary cage.
The Fragglewump drew herself up on her long legs and glared into the big demon's yellow eyes. "Do as ye may, demon," she spat at him. "Release th' yellow beast, set yer Viking friend's dragon on me, shoot me, club me, freeze me, burn me, rip me eyes out, tear out me insides, me legs an' me tongue, but whate'er ye do tae me, I will ne'er open tha' door!"
Hellboy shook his head. "Then I guess we don't need you right now," he said, before gesturing with his head to Toothless. The dragon obligingly walked in front of the Troll, then lifted his tail up. And with a crack, his back leg shot out and rammed into the Fragglewump's stomach, throwing her backwards through the air with a scream of alarm, her long legs waving until she finally slammed into a metal wall with a clang and fell to the ground, unconscious.
Krauss glared at Hellboy. "Is zat your investigative technique?" he sternly remarked.
Hellboy was unrepentant. "She said never," he defended himself. "I was gonna punch her myself, but I thought it would just dirty my fist."
"It's unconscionable!" Krauss objected. Hellboy gave Hiccup a confused look.
"I think that means he didn't like it," the Viking boy filled in.
Hellboy then irritably asked Krauss, "Ok, are you gonna show us how it's done, Mr. 'By-the-book'?"
"Yes, I think I vill," the German replied, before walking over to the combination lock. Taking hold of a metal valve on his breast, Krauss turned the valve and opened it, at which point white ectoplasm started seeping out of Krauss' body. As the ectoplasm seeped out, Krauss' protective clothing seemed to slowly collapse in on itself, like a deflating balloon. Jack quickly realized that Krauss' whole body didn't in fact have any solid structure; when released from his suit, he was essentially a living gas. Krauss then poured himself into the combination lock tumblers, which began turning in a certain order. In response, the massive metal gears of the door began slowly turning, and the metal sheets retracted, the door opening to reveal an entrance into what looked like a lively underground city; pipes and tanks coated the stone buildings, as well as canvas shades, and Trolls and other mythical beings of all kinds walked around the streets.
"I dinnae believe it," Merida murmured.
"So this is a Troll Market," Hiccup whispered.
And with a loud hiss, Krauss' ectoplasm re-emerged from the combination locks, and poured back into his suit, gradually re-inflating it. As soon as he had returned to normal, the German then closed the valve on his breast, and walked over cheerfully to stand in front of the entrance.
"Gentlemen, ladies und dragon," Krauss said aloud, "Velcome to ze Troll Market!"
The Troll Market was a lively place of various interesting creatures. Some of them were tall, exotically-dressed Trolls, who looked vaguely similar to Arabian merchants- others were figures who wore paper fishes on top of their heads; small Tooth Fairies danced around the Market, like the kind which had attacked the group at Blackwood Auction House. Some of the Trolls were massive, scaled monsters, like black anglerfishes, and walked with their large, curved teeth protruding from their bottom lips. Abe, in particular, was drawn to a short, fat green creature seated behind a wooden table. He had a white throat, no nostrils, and the face of a fish, with a flabby bladder behind his head, two glossy muddy eyes and long arms that ended in winding, octopus fingers.
"Fresh fish," he called in a foreign language which was neither Gaelic nor Scandinavian. "Get your fresh fish." And he brought down a cleaver, beheading a large mackerel. Abe winced at the sight of a fellow fish being treated in this manner.
Hiccup, however, managed to pay the fish merchant for three mackerels, which he gave to Toothless(it turned out he knew the English language, but couldn't speak it), and the dragon ate them happily.
Hellboy's communicator came on, and Liz' voice spoke urgently through it. "Red, there's something really important that I need to tell you."
Rapunzel's shoulders tensed as she realized: Liz wanted to tell Hellboy that she was pregnant with his child. However, Hellboy was not in the right mood to listen to her.
"Liz? You should be here," he said back to her. "You'd love it. Nobody's looking at any of us. We blend right in."
Just then, Krauss sternly whispered to him, "Agent, I said ve should keep communication to a minimum. You'll blow our cover."
"I think he's right," Abe added afterwards, just to soothe Hellboy's temper.
Hellboy sighed before saying to Liz, "I'm bringing you here for sure, babe. However, Krauss wants the radio silence. I'll move on to radio silence, so…"
"Over and out," Liz cut him off, before turning off her communicator.
Meanwhile, Hiccup, Toothless and Abe were off walking through the streets, when they made out an interesting figure walking by. It wore a desert yellow flowing cape and hood, as well as a veil covering its mouth. But what really caught their gaze was the figure's left arm; around its wrist, it wore a gold bracelet, with what looked like a branching tree emblem.
"Psst, Abe," Hiccup hissed under his breath to the piscine man. "You see that bracelet? It looks just like the Father Tree that Merida was telling us about."
"Yes, Hiccup, it is," Abe agreed. "That must be the Royal Seal of Bethmoora."
The figure must have heard them, however, for it turned to look at them, revealing the upper half of a face with skin the colour of milk, and two glossy yellow eyes, with golden skin around the eyelids. For a few moments, the figure's eyes met Abe's eyes, and then she turned and walked off. Abe slowly began to follow her, and Hiccup and Toothless kept up, just to ensure that he didn't go in over his head.
"Red, can you hear us?" Hiccup called on his communicator.
"Yeah, Black'n'blue," Hellboy replied, "I hear you, but I'm watching Sherlock get to work."
Krauss was repeatedly pressing in on numerous Trolls and asking them questions, but they were completely ignoring him. Jack and Rapunzel were even less successful, since the Trolls recoiled, covering themselves up and shielding their eyes from the waves of icy wind and golden light which accompanied both Guardian and princess. Merida, on the other hand, was getting a lot of information from the Trolls, though none of it was the information they wanted. The Trolls she was speaking to in Gaelic were Henkies, limping sea-Trolls who were sharing the history of their kind with Merida.
Finally shoving her way to the front of the group, Merida made out two Trolls seated underneath what looked like a makeshift barber's stall. One of them had skin which was brown and rough like a bull's, a round, pointed head and a large nose, and his chin was covered in white shaving foam; clinging to his breast was a round-headed baby Troll with large brown eyes. The second, the barber, was a huge, gargoyle-type Troll with massive nostrils in his jutting muzzle, huge red eyeballs with brown irises, massive bat-like ears, a hefty stomach, and scaled brown skin like a "Komodo Dragon" which Jack had taught Merida about. He held a razor in one hand.
"Mr. Krauss, who's tha' big fella wi' th' razor?" she asked the gas-built German.
"Zat, princess, is a Cronie Troll," he replied. "Zey originated in Germany, and are von of ze most benevolent of all Trolls."
He then walked over to the Cronie Troll barber and asked him and his customer, "I beg your pardon, gentlemen. Have eizer of you two seen anyvone purchasing zis type of Toos Fairy?" He showed a photo of the dead Tooth Fairy to the Trolls.
"No-one sells them around here, pal," the shaved Troll said in a Russian accent.
"Over in Jersey, maybe," the Cronie Troll said. His own voice was a deep, American-accented growl.
"I thought ye said this eejit would help us, Krauss!" Merida hissed after pulling the German aside.
"I said zat Cronie Trolls are benevolent Trolls, not zat zey are helpful!" Krauss hissed back before then turning to face the Trolls again.
"In zat case, vot about zis?" he said. "Do you recognize zis seal?" he showed the emblem of the Royal Seal to the two Trolls, who looked more shocked by it.
"Make them go away," the baby Troll whined to its father, and the Cronie Troll barber quickly growled, "No, we don't!"
"You'd better go. Now!" the father Troll hissed to his barber, whereupon Merida shoved past Krauss to try her own luck.
"Look, laddies, we need ye tae answer our questions," she said, in a tone of thinly-veiled impatience, "so if ye could please tell us, then we'll be on our way!"
"Ve'll make it vorth your vhile!" Krauss added, but the Cronie Troll was now getting seriously angry- with a roar, he got to his feet and spun Krauss round to face him with one hand, using his other hand to do the same to Merida.
"Do not waste our time, humans!" he snarled. "We do not talk!"
Hellboy attempted to get forwards, but Rapunzel quickly shoved past him and stood in front of the barber, looking up at him with surprising cool, considering how much taller he was than her.
"Are you sure you're not gonna talk, Mr. Cronie?" she asked sweetly, whilst fluttering her eyelids up at him.
"Absolutely, blondie," he growled, unmoved by her charms.
"So you're not talking?"
"Never!"
"Never?"
"Never ever EVER!"
Then Rapunzel sprung her trap. "Not even if I do this?" and she reached behind her and pulled out Pascal from her coat pocket. As soon as she held out the chameleon, the Cronie Troll's whole mood changed dramatically.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed, dropping his razor and attempting to get back from Rapunzel, only for Jack to create a wall of ice behind him so he couldn't run out on them. "YOU'VE GOT A LIZARD! I HATE LIZARDS!"
Rapunzel frowned. "Pascal's a chameleon, not a lizard," she said.
The Cronie Troll glared at her. "Chameleons are lizards," he retorted. "I don't like them! They stick their tongues inside my nose!"
Rapunzel gritted her teeth. "Good for me, then," she said, before grabbing hold of him by the skin of his throat. Now she started slapping him in the face with her frying pan, making spit spray from his mouth. At the same time, Hellboy started slapping the father Troll across his own face, and Krauss didn't criticise the big demon's violent investigative technique for once- it was the only way they'd get any information out of these stubborn Trolls.
"What about now?" Hellboy asked, after two minutes of slapping. "Are you feeling chattier?"
"We'll never talk," the baby Troll said scornfully, whereupon demon and princess both prepared to start bashing their suspects again.
"Wait!" the Cronie Troll cried. "Wait a minute! Please, don't hit us anymore!"
"Cowards," the baby Troll taunted them, but Rapunzel was already relaxing her grip slightly.
"Then answer our questions," she said, her voice a lot firmer now. "Who bought the Black Forest Tooth Fairies?"
And their worst suspicions(except for Merida) were confirmed when the Cronie Troll whimpered painfully, "Prince Nuada."
"Oh, yeah?" Hellboy asked.
"They say Prince Nuada broke the pledge of peace," Cronie continued. "He killed over 70 humans and his own father for the Royal Crown pieces, and now there is talk of war. A war with the human world."
Tha's no' gonna happen, Merida thought grimly. Rapunzel then released the barber.
"Thank you for this valuable information, sir," she said, her tone a lot calmer now. "And, just to compensate for our rough treatment of you…"
She pulled out a block of marzipan and broke it in half, offering it to the father Troll and the Cronie. They accepted it graciously, their past fear and bad temper forgotten now. Rapunzel smiled nostalgically; these Trolls reminded her of the Snuggly Duckling thugs- intimidating, yet pretty friendly when you knew how to appeal to them.
"I'm impressed, Princess," Krauss said. "How did you know to do zat?"
Rapunzel grinned to him. "I did my research before we got here, Dr. Krauss," she said. "The word 'Cronie Troll' is essentially a corrupted form of 'Corona Troll.' I first heard of them a few years after I returned to the palace. They have a similar fear of lizards as that Fragglewump did of canaries. But you can bribe them with marzipan. They love it. I just hadn't tried it out until now."
Krauss didn't have a visible mouth, but if you could see it, the likelihood is he would be grinning.
"Sorry, kid," Hellboy added to the baby Troll.
"That's all right."
"By the way," Jack added, stroking its head, "You're a very nice baby Troll."
"I'm not a baby," it corrected him, "I'm a pimple." Then Merida noticed that its fingers and waist were directly attached to its father's flesh.
"Well, then," Jack awkwardly corrected himself, "you're a nice spot of Troll acne."
Back with Abe and Hiccup, the Viking boy said as they slowly approached the outskirts of a tall bazaar-type shop, "You sure we're going the right way, Abe?" By way of an answer, Abe pointed out the caped figure inside the shop, closing a large metal grille window system to obscure itself.
Abe told Hellboy over the communicators, "Yes, Red. We're following the lead right now. It may turn out to be nothing…"
Toothless shoved them away from a musician with an octopus-type head, playing a barrel organ with some strange small animal with two whistle-shaped heads, almost like a monkey. "But we will let you know soon enough."
They ducked underneath a yellow banner of Arabic design- Toothless caught his head in it briefly, but was quickly released- and approached the shop doors.
Pressing his ears against the doors, Hiccup made out faint snatches of conversation. "What do you want?...Tell me your name…Follow me…"
Then Hiccup heard important words from whoever was speaking- a man, judging by his voice- as he said, "Your father, King Balor, left you this map. In it, he said, lies the key to the location of the Golden Army."
Hiccup immediately removed his head, then nodded to Abe. They both knocked on the doors, whereupon the man said aloud, "Quickly! This way, Your Highness." The sound of footsteps, and then Hiccup pushed upon the shop doors and he and Abe stepped inside the shop.
It was a place lit by orange ceiling bulbs, with huge wooden shelves which contained old maps. The shopkeeper himself was a man with glossy, almond-shaped brown eyes; he wore a turquoise coat and had no visible mouth, just a toad-like nose and a roughly-hewn stone muzzle, but the top of his head was most interesting, for it was shaped like a miniature stone castle, with pointed towers spiking upwards from his brow.
"Can I help you, sirs?" he said, surprisingly well-spoken for a creature with no mouth.
"Yes, we were just wondering whether you've got any maps of Algiers," Abe quickly asked.
The shopkeeper, in a manner worthy of Trader Johann, walked over to a shelf and said, "Well, all our maps of Africa are up here, sir…"
"We meant in this section," Hiccup interrupted, before rounding a corner with Abe, ignoring the protests of "You can't go in there!" until he was confronted by the hooded figure.
Except she was no longer hooded.
The woman had long flowing blond hair, and sported an interesting scar across the bridge of her nose. Yet aside from this, as well as her unusual skin and eye colour, she seemed strangely beautiful in a way, with high cheekbones and dark pink lips. But her expression now was little short of dangerously suspicious.
"Sirs, why are you both following me?" she asked sharply.
"We weren't," Hiccup protested, thinking quickly. "We just came here to look at some old maps…"
"With a dragon in your company? And a Night Fury of all dragons? Please, Viking, either invent a more plausible excuse or don't bother."
Man, this woman was too sharp for him. Hiccup stepped forwards, reaching for the hilt of Inferno, but the woman moved with the reflexes of a lion. In one fell swoop, she got hold of the scrawny Viking youth by the throat and pinned him against the wall with one hand. It was then that Hiccup made out her pointed, leaf-shaped ears. She was an Elf.
"Cuir lámh amháin in aice le go claíomh, Lochlannach," she said smoothly, "agus ní bheidh mé leisce ort a ghearradh do scornach." And although Hiccup didn't speak Irish Gaelic, he understood from Merida what this Elven woman had just said: Put one hand near that sword, Viking, and I won't hesitate to cut your throat. Yet somehow, her threat seemed more out of desperation than direct ill-will.
"And what of you?" the Elf added, turning to face Abe and Toothless, who was snarling threateningly at her for rough handling of Hiccup. "Did my brother send you both to steal the Crown piece?"
"Your brother?" Abe repeated, as he also approached the woman. "Oh, you're mistaken, I assure you…"
But the Elf just drew a curved dagger with a glossy brown hilt decorated with gold patterning, which she then pressed against Abe's chest, holding him back. Toothless looked like he might jump forwards onto the Elven woman if Hiccup wasn't silently pleading him not to attack on his behalf.
"Then answer me truthfully," she continued. "Why were you following me?"
Abe continued, "My name is Abraham Sapien…"
The woman cut him off by moving the dagger to the underside of his throat and breathing apparatus. "There is no such name," she hissed.
"I know, I don't like it either," Abe said, but the woman just moved her dagger away from his throat.
"Enough of this," she said. "Give me your hands, both of you." Hiccup felt her grip lighten on his throat, and reached out his left hand to press it against the woman's own. Abe, in response, removed his own glove and pressed his webbed hand against the woman's right hand. She must be doing a mind-reading trick similar to Abe's own power.
"You are agents of the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defence," she said, her yellow eyes darting between their faces. Her gaze then strayed to Hiccup as she added, "The scar on your chin happened at the earliest stages of your life(he winced at her surprising knowledge), and you are the son of the tribal chieftain of Berk. Your dragon is at least as old as you are."
Toothless managed a gummy grin, then the woman withdrew her hands and began, "And your names are…"
"Horrible, we know," Hiccup and Abe both finished.
Hiccup then added, "Trust me, though. Hiccup's not one of the worst names. Viking parents believe that a really ugly name scares off Orcs and Trolls."
The woman chuckled in a more friendly way. "If that way were true, all who live in this Market would have already fled the moment you first entered it."
She now turned to Abe to introduce herself. "I am Nuala, Princess Nuala. The sister of Prince Nuada Silverlance, and the daughter of King Balor Silverarm."
"Yes, I know," Abe replied, bowing his head briefly. "Forgive me, Princess, but as you were learning about us, I couldn't help but learn a little about you as well."
Hiccup's ears pricked up at this point. Had Abe just…flirted, in a manner of speaking? Nuala's smile certainly seemed to suggest so.
Abe then continued, "I know that you need our help, your Highness."
Nuala shook her head. "I'm afraid it's the other way around," she said.
Just as Hiccup was about to ask why, a resonating crash alerted him to the presence of a fifth party who had just entered the shop.
After years of spending time with dragons, spirits, and mythical beings, you'd think nothing else could surprise Hiccup. But even he was taken aback by the gigantic brute which came lumbering in with an air of brutality and evil intentions.
"Uh, Princess Nuala?" He asked, not taking his eyes off the one-eyed, metal-armed Cave Troll before him. "Who is that?"
"It's Mr. Wink," Nuala replied, "A Cave Troll of unmatched strength and anger. He's Nuada's strongest servant."
Under normal circumstances, Hiccup might have made up a jibe about a 6'9'' killing machine having a name like Mr. Wink. The best he could manage on this occasion though, was "Da da da da, we're dead."