AN: Hi guys! This was originally written over a year ago for the WR forums, but it was hanging around on my hard drive and I figured I might as well get it with all my other fics! There's 18 chapters in total, each about 3500 words, making this the length of a fairly substantial novel, but I hope that won't put you off too much. It's all written, edited and ready to go, so I should be putting a new chapter up every few days depending on response and what my timetable does, but I vow never to make you wait longer that a week, internet permitting.

Okay, things you should know:

1. This is set at the end of episode 8, series 4 after the argument between Rachel, Eddie and Melissa in the hall and becomes fairly AU from then on.

2. The Maxine/Earl storyline never happened, and she is alive and kicking (you'll understand later)

3. All the Rachel's past stuff at the end of series 3 DID happen, if anyone wasn't watching and needs catching up on that just drop me a line.

Okay, that's the boring stuff over, I hope you enjoy:

The Aftermath – Chapter 1

"It's time to make your decision Eddie, it's me or her"

"It's me or her"

"Me or her"

Rachel staggered slightly as the words travelled around and around in her head, the image of her sister's accusing and tearstained face accompanying them. Attempting to mentally pull herself together, she continued her desperate near-run to her office, feeling infinitely thankful that she'd had the good sense to send Philip home; she couldn't let him see her like this. She couldn't let anyone see her like this.

'Except Eddie' a small voice at the back of her mind pointed out, and she attempted to push it away, although the implications were clear. Yes, Eddie. Her deputy. Her friend. Her sister's fiancé. The man she was completely and irrevocably in love with. Yes, that Eddie. The tears were falling properly now, blurring her vision and weakening her knees so that she all but fell into her office, just managing to push the door shut behind her before she sank to her knees on the floor, sobbing.

She cried for the look on her sister's face, and the guilt that stabbed at her for not being able to bury her feelings for Eddie deep enough to be out of sight. She cried for the relationship they'd only just begun to rebuild, with the knowledge that, whatever Eddie's decision, she was unlikely to ever have a close conversation with her sister again.

She cried for Philip, who had been holding this secret inside for far too long, and who was now probably sat in her home, wondering whether or not he'd ruined his mother's chances of happiness.

She sobbed when her mind became filled with thoughts of Eddie and the close friendship they'd shared, a friendship that had been on the brink of moving into something more when her insecurities had surfaced, causing her to push him away and effectively ruin any chance of a relationship.

"I know you loved Rachel, Eddie." The phrase tore her apart with guilt, but the use of the past tense hurt even more, if that was possible. Because maybe he had loved her, but he loved Melissa now. "Me or her." His beautiful carefree fiancé, or his damaged, emotional friend. It wasn't really a choice, was it?

Rachel wondered numbly how quickly she could find a replacement maths teacher, and who would stand in in the meantime. Maybe Tom could take over the deputy headship, she'd have to ask him tomorrow. Tomorrow. The thought almost caused a fresh bout of tears, so painful was the thought of the school without Eddie.

But she was strong, stronger than this. And his decision would have been easy, would have been made. Maybe him and Mel had even managed to catch their flight. Which reminded her of the other person in this whole sorry situation. Philip. Philip who was almost certainly sat at home worrying right now, while she was here feeling sorry for herself. Pulling herself to her feet, and wincing at the headache which threatened to throw her off balance, Rachel made her way to her bathroom, splashing some water over her face and cleaning the mascara from her cheeks before re-applying it. Studying herself critically in the mirror, she was relived to see that it was only the slight redness around her eyes that gave any hint that she had been crying. She was ready.

Pulling her coat around her, Rachel strode out of her office and down the corridor towards her car, holding her head high and fighting against the memories that still threatened to engulf her, causing her eyes to prickle once again. She would not cry, not again. Reaching the doors of the school, she hurriedly pushed through them, wanting nothing more than to return to the security of her home, although in her mind she was already trying to work out how to deal with the next hurdle; what to tell Philip.

This pre-occupation was possibly the reason that she didn't hear the doors of the school open again behind her. It wasn't until she heard her name, uttered but someone whose voice she would always know, that she finally responded.

"Eddie?"

Rachel turned as she spoke, spotting her deputy stood on the school steps, looking down at her, a somewhat intimidating mixture of anger, desperation and decisiveness on his normally smiling face. For a long moment, no one said anything, both teachers simply observing one another.

Rachel was trying her hardest to work out what Eddie's decision had been, whilst battling with the war going on inside her head, her heart aching to be told that he had walked away from Melissa, that he had chosen her, while family responsibility and a crushing sense of guilt told her that she should be hoping for her sister's happiness before her own. As his eyes met hers, however, all the reasons for letting him walk away were suddenly wiped from her mind, and she felt herself hoping desperately that, by some strange and thoroughly undeserved twist of fate, he had chosen to leave her sister. That he had chosen her.

For his part, Eddie was wondering what exactly he had been thinking when he'd let himself get carried away with Melissa's flirtations, when Rachel, wonderful, beautiful, brave Rachel, had been there all the time. He'd always known that it would take time to win her trust, and yet he'd almost ruined everything between them because he had been too blind to see how afraid she was. His musings were brought up short however, when his eyes, which had been searching her face, came to rest on hers, resulting in an agonising realisation. The skin around her eyes was red and raw. She'd been crying. She'd left that hall, and she'd cried, and he'd been too busy yelling at her sister to even think about following her. Why was he always so stupid?

Finally, the suspense grew too much for Rachel, and she attempted to pull Eddie out of his thoughts, unaware that her previous thoughts had caused the tears to once again move closer to the surface, so that her voice shook when she spoke,

"Eddie? Why… why are here? Shouldn't you be with… with Mel..issa?" They both noticed the way she stumbled over her sister's name, and the flash of pain that crossed her face as she spoke it, an emotional reaction that pushed Eddie over the edge, and caused him to hurry down the steps towards her, stopping in front of her and taking her hands in his own.

"No, Rachel. I'm exactly where I should be." The words tumbled from his lips without thinking, and their eyes met suddenly, his swimming with tears of love and regret, her simply wide in surprise and incomprehension. It had been a long time since Rachel had allowed herself to be loved by anyone, and suddenly the fact that only a moment ago she had been desperately hoping for a relationship was irrelevant. This situation was alien to her, and her emotions were in too much turmoil at the moment for her to work it out.

So she did what she always did when she didn't know how to deal with a situation; she reverted to her headmistress persona. Slipping the professional mask firmly into place she smiled vaguely at Eddie, nodding in the direction of the school;

"Yes, it's a bit hard to leave it, isn't it? Good thing too, I don't know how I… I mean we, would have coped without you. You're a good ma… deputy head, Eddie."

He opened his mouth to speak, to tell her that he wasn't leaving Melissa for the school, that he was leaving her because he didn't love her, because he loved her older, beautiful sister instead, but before he could form a single word she was speaking again as she opened her car door and climbed in.

"Anyway, I'd better get back to mine; I sent Philip there, no idea what to tell him, poor lad, I'll see you tomorrow." And then she was closing the door and pulling away, leaving a shell-shocked and confused Eddie stood in the middle of an empty car-park, missing the wistful look she shot in his direction as she left, and wondering what the hell had just happened.

The following morning Rachel was infinitely grateful to return to school, following an evening of uncomfortable silence between her and Philip, who had demanded to know everything his mother had said and then, after assuring Rachel that Melissa had been "a spiteful cow" had retreated to the spare room where he had remained for the rest of the evening, immersed in his school books, despite having been up to date before he'd even started. The drive to the school had been passed in much the same way, as he'd replied with monosyllabic answers to every one of Rachel's concerned questions, and then leapt out of the car and disappeared into the crowd of students as soon as the car had slowed sufficiently, acknowledging Rachel's goodbye with a half-wave, and leaving his aunt sitting in the car, staring after him with a somewhat forlorn expression.

"You alright?" Rachel started, turning towards to source of the voice and jumping when she saw Eddie's face looming through the now-open door. Spotting this, he laid a hand gently on her shoulder, smiling slightly;

"S'all right, Rach, only me!"

Breaking into a smile and rolling her eyes, Rachel opened her mouth to tell him that that was exactly what she was worried about, when she suddenly became aware of Eddie's hand, still resting warm on her shoulder, and of quite how close he was, quite how close his lips were to hers… in fact, if she was just to lean forwards a fraction… Gasping slightly at the direction her thoughts had taken, Rachel shook her head and pulled swiftly backwards, turning away from Eddie to collect some files off the floor.

Eddie sighed, stepping backwards to allow Rachel enough room to get out of the car, the spark between them was undeniable… and yet she continued to deny it. Why couldn't she see just how much he loved her? Just how much he wanted to be with her? His thoughts interrupted by the sound of Rachel closing her car door, he quickly reached forwards to relieve her of some files, causing her to flash him a grateful smile as she locked her car and they made their way into school together, a somewhat awkward silence hanging between them.

This was going to be a long day.

After walking Rachel to her office, a journey that had been passed with inane chatter and had been ended abruptly as they arrived at their destination, when Rachel had grabbed her belongings off him with a muttered thanks, before disappearing into her office and closing the door so fast Eddie had stood there for a few seconds, blinking somewhat stupidly as he tried to work out what had happened. That seemed to be happening a lot recently.

Realising that he wasn't currently welcome in her space, Eddie sighed and made his way back through the school corridors to the staffroom.

Ten minutes later, Eddie left the staffroom again, having been unable to put up with the constant stream of useless platitudes and sympathetic looks he decided to head back up the Rachel's office; even the crippling awkwardness would be better than the current atmosphere in the staffroom. As he arrived at her door, however, he found himself suddenly unsure of his logic, as his mind played back a montage of awkward moments from that morning and the previous evening. But then, more memories joined the ones in his mind; Rachel laughing at something he'd said, the smile on her face at the student's welcome back at the beginning of that term, and then, finally, the undeniable look of hope on her face when he'd called her name yesterday evening. Oh yes, he was going in to see her. And it wasn't just to escape from the staffroom. He needed to make her see.

This decision made, Eddie knocked gently on the door, hearing her voice calling him to enter, and obeying. As the door clicked shut behind him she glanced up from her paperwork, surprise registering on her face as she realised who it was.

"Eddie? Back so soon?" She tried to keep the smile from showing on her face as she said it. She wasn't that pleased to see him. Was she?

"Couldn't keep away." He ginned, and Rachel found herself getting lost in his eyes, those eyes… she quickly pulled herself together, laughing somewhat nervously, and reverted to business;

"Anyway, did you want something?"

Eddie sighed loudly in frustration. Why did she keep doing that? Why did she always put those walls back up? Well, not this time. This time, he was going to force her to acknowledge this, to accept what was between them. And he was going to start with complete and utter honesty;

"You. I wanted to see you."

"Oh," Rachel gave a nervous laugh, "well, you've seen me now."

He stepped forward, moving towards her, coming to stop before the desk, and taking her hands, looking deep into her eyes before he spoke his next words;

"Not enough. I could stand here and watch you forever, but it would never be enough." Shocked by the sincerity in his voice and the love that she could see in his eyes, Rachel found herself powerless to respond, simply staring at him, surprise clear on her face. Eddie decided to continue;

"Rachel, I… I think, I mean, I know, in fact, I think I've known for an awfully long time. You see, what I'm trying to say is… well…"

"Rachel, oh, Eddie, sorry to interrupt, but you're going to be late for assembly." Both of their heads snapped around and Eddie quickly dropped Rachel's hands, as they spotted her secretary's head in the doorway. Tearing her eyes away from Eddie's, Rachel nodded, and Bridget disappeared again. There was a moment of silence, and then Rachel rose, making her way quickly to the door and reaching for the handle, when Eddie's voice broke the silence;

"I love you."

Reviews are loved like the end of exams (and if you haven't got there yet then that is LOTS!) :D x