While in the hospital, again, I did alot of thinking.

Will I ever get to see Johnny again?

Why do Socs always want to beat up Greasers.

When I die will my friends miss me?

What will happen to Johnny?

Will I die in this hospital?

How long will I be in here.

Will Chantel or Kayla be happy if I die.

Who is going first.

If I live, will Johnny die before me.

Will I be there when Johnny dies?

All these things were on my mind and I didn't know how to answer myself. All of them made me scared. I probably won't die here, but how, when and where will I die? And who is going to discover that I had passed. The thoughts wanted to make me cry. I loved Johnny, Chantel, Kayla, Asheley and Jennifer. They are all so dear to me, and I would hate for them to miss me. I knew that they would miss me, but would go on. Though, Chantel, Asheley and Jennifer would take it hard. They already lost Kali, and Asheley and Jennifer both lost my mom. Losing a third person would break them. It would break me. What would happen with Johnny. Would he love somebody else?

I fell asleep thinking about it.

I woke up to my friends around me. Chantel smiled when she saw me. Kayla just yelled "TURBO! FINALLY AWAKE!" I was glad to see my friends. I couldn't speak since my lips were still cut and it hurt to say anything. I licked my freshly sewn lips and nearly gagged. The feeling felt weird and having 4 cuts on your bottom lip, and 3 on top wasn't the funnest thing. Not at all. I just barely smiled and closed my eyes. I forgot that I was in an ugly hospital gown, with a sheet over me. It felt weird against my warm skin. I was used to be in pajama pants, a tank top and under a warm comforter. I sat up and saw Johnny. Chantel was still talking, and I would nod. Johnny looked weird. Like he had been crying. But Johnny will only cry if he lost somebody or badly hurt, like when he got beat up. I wanted to call his name, but couldn't. Chantel must have realized that I wanted to see him, so she called him over.
"Shosh. I was scared. You were so beat up. Whats with so damn Socs? Beat me up and go for you. Messed up."

I just smiled and watched him talk. I loved Johnny. I was so damn sure at that moment.

I wrote on a notepad something to Chantel. Think he likes me?

Duh he was so worried. ask him.

No. You. Please. I can't talk. member'?

My dear friend smiled and did so. She walked over to Johnny and started talking. I still don't remember what she had said, though I wish I did.

Johnny just looked at me and smiled. He walked away.

I was confused and scared that Chantel had ruined things. I hid under my cold sheets and tried to fall asleep. Chantel walked over.

"I asked if he cared about you, and what he would do if he lost you. He left cuz he could handle the thought. He loves you hun."

I smiled and looked at Chantel. Why would I doubt her?

I decided sleeping would be the best option.

(WAIT! DON'T THINK THIS IS A ROMANCE THING. THIS SHOULD BE ABOUT JOHNNY, I DON'T WANT TO MAKE HIM SOMETHING HE WASN'T! Anyway...)

I thought I had only slept for a few hours, more like days. Nobody was there. My whole body ached and I tried to reach the remote to the T.V. I had also wished that I could talk. I hated not being able to . I pressed the button for the nurse, and it wasn't long before she came over.

"Something you need baby doll?" She had asked me.

I wrote on my notepad for her to call my friends. I guess they had been in the waiting room.

Chantel walked in, her face was red, tears streaming.

"Kayla! Shes...shes dead!"

I couldn't believe it. Kayla? She's gone? No. She can't be.

"I'm sorry baby girl. I'm sorry. He....her mom. Her mom did it. Uhhh." Chantel squeaked at the end.

I wanted to cry. I really I knew I couldn't. It would hurt. I thought I would break. But I didn't. I loved Kayla, but it didn't hurt that she was gone. We had good times, but I think she wasn't nice enough or caring enough to me that I would miss her. I looked and Chantel and she took it hard, why am I not. I knew.

I would break if Johnny left. Or Chantel or my sisters. Not Kayla.

Chantel sat down and cried. I was still in a gaze. She didn't deserve to do. No way, but she is gone and she will never call me "TURBO" ever again. Never. I will never see my friend. It took awhile to process.