Its been ages since I've written any piece of fanfiction. Years actually. But after the Season 6 mind blowing finale of our show, I just couldn't help myself. I still am a lover of all things Meredith and Derek. I think it will always be that way. I do not own Greys Anatomy or any characters connected with it. However, I do own a couple of t-shirts and the DVD's, lol. But all characters belong to Shonda Rhimes and ABC. I hope you enjoy the time you spend with my story. THANKS!
Judy/Savvy/Knappmom
IM YOUR EYE FOR AN EYE
Day 1: 4 am.
The post-op surgical nurse entered his room to find Dr. Meredith Grey wide awake, and looking painfully pent up, sitting with her knees tucked tightly underneath her arms, staring at the monitors that alerted the world to the fact that her husband, Dr. Derek Shepherd, COS, was indeed alive. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep 120/80. Somewhere in the back of her mind the steady rhythm of the monitor morphed into what her ears, no her brain, now heard as Alive. Alive. Alive. Alive. That sound was always something she considered a nuisance. It was annoying, even obnoxious. Now Meredith Grey found it comforting. It was her favorite sound in the world. A survivor's song, a promise kept, a lullaby that meant her life, the only life she wanted, wasn't over. For the hundredth time that night though , the bloody images of the events they both had lived through, danced through her mind's eye to the steady beat of that monitor. But those images were anything but a comfort. They were her nightmare come true. The one that made it hard to breathe. She shuddered and wiped a solitary tear, erasing the evidence of her weakness.
"Dr. Grey….I'm here to check his vitals…is there anything you need?" The nurse asked. Elizabeth, wasn't it? She thought to herself.
"No,…but thank-you." Meredith replied.
"You should try and get some rest."
"I know….I…I can't sleep just yet…I'm sure it will hit me all at once." She attempted to smile, to show the nurse, that she appreciated her concern, but it eluded her, collapsing before it reached her eyes.
With that the nurse set about the task at hand. She notated Derek's input and output of fluids, checked his pulse-ox level and then listened to his chest sounds.
"Dr. Shepherd, " She gently said. "Its Elizabeth…I need you to wake up and cough for me to clear your lungs…we don't want pneumonia setting in……Dr. Shepherd." The nurse gently shook his shoulder. Derek opened his eyes struggling to acknowledge the woman in front of him.
"Hurt…..it's going to hurt." He half muttered.
"I know sir,….but you have to do it…just a slight cough to clear your airway." He grimaced but obeyed her command without further protest. Not that he would have been able to truly fight her. He was weak, weaker than he had ever been his whole life. And this cough was taking a monumental effort to achieve. But cough he did and then grimaced in pain at the result.
Derek Shepherd hated being sick, feeble or needy. He took pride in how seldom he caught even the slightest of colds. It was a marvel to some that he could be so close to the infirmed, with his hands in their brains even, but never come down with as much as a sniffle. And now that marvel was lying here hooked up to EKG leads, IV tubes and a god-damned catheter. Sure, this wasn't because of a virus, but it was critical. Devastating. LIFE CHANGING.
The room was off kilter, topsy then turvy and he was finding it hard to focus on any one thing. He turned his head, a look of pain etched across his face, and found her sitting there, stoic, next to his bed. She was awake, quiet and with worry written in her expression.
"Hey….time's it?" he labored.
"Just after 4 am." She soothed.
"You sleep?" he asked, willing himself to stay awake to hear her reply.
"I'm fine, Derek….YOU are the patient." She admonished, a gentle reminder that HE was the center of attention this time.
He took a deeper breath, careful to do it slowly, waiting for the inevitable burn to assault his lungs. It was the burn that told him someone had been inside his chest, scavenging around for an assassin's bullet, repairing torn tissue, surgically caressing a hematoma. The burn singed his nerve-endings, and as much as he tried to ignore it, his eyes glassed over and his face contorted in an effort to deal with the overwhelming sensation of fire in his chest. He heard a small sound escape his mouth.
"Meredith."
She was up at his side with his hand held between hers.
"Sshh." She gently stroked his hair. "Sshh , Derek…..I know…I'm here……you don't have to feel this much" She continued caressing him, hoping it was somehow helpful , as Derek Shepherd willed the pain to stop.
"Elizabeth….please administer the morphine." She heard herself order.
Derek squeezed her hand in an attempt to protest the request while trying to put forth an argument.
"No, Mer…..don't want." But the voice of his wife stopped him.
"Derek….listen to me….you will heal faster if we do a better job of managing your pain….I promise we'll wean you off just as soon as we can…okay?" She then gently kissed his forehead. "I'll be here with you…I'm not going anywhere." Kiss.
He acquiesced. It wasn't as if he really had a choice anyway. Because even inside a morphine induced fog he was certain he was being saved by the tiny woman who had re-configured his life. His heart. The room began to visually collapse around him and the last thing that Derek Shepherd, the patient, saw was the vapid determination behind his wife's soft green eyes.
Meredith hadn't noticed that Elizabeth was still in the room because her brain had morphed into a linear focus. TUNNEL VISION. Her single mission being to will her husband back to health. She would not fail at this. And she would not run. Derek had fallen off of the cliff of a morphine oblivion and yet she was still standing over him, lovingly stroking his hair.
" Doctors really do make the worst patients you know." Elizabeth stated.
That got Meredith's attention.
"Yeah, I guess we do."
"Dr. Grey…I can sit with him if you want to find a bed….get some sleep."
Meredith continued to look at the face of the man she nearly buried.
"I can't…I'm….I can't, Elizabeth…but thank you." She managed to say.
The middle aged nurse smiled, noting the obvious signs of fatigue written all over Meredith Grey's body.
"Okay…but if you don't sleep soon…I WILL be forced to call Dr. Yang."
The smile finally reached Meredith's eyes.
"Is that a threat?" She asked.
Elizabeth stopped before exiting the room.
"No, Dr. Grey…..it's a promise."
Meredith went back to looking at the sleeping form of her injured husband.
"Okay then….soon…..I'll sleep soon."