Gone.
Dead and gone.
Forever.
Cinderpelt felt her heart constrict with agony and grief, and a small sigh escaped her mouth. Her normally clear and lively blue eyes were clouded with sorrow and loss. She huddled in the medicine cat's den, trying in vain to pick up a small amount of her beloved's scent, by now long gone, something to remind her that she had really been here, and that it all hadn't been just a dream, from which Cinderpelt had been cruelly awakened from.
Why, StarClan, Why her? Cinderpelt yowled silently, cursing fate that had stolen away the light of her life, her one and only love, forbidden though it was.
Yellowfang.The she-cat had nursed her back to health from the brink of death, shown her hope and friendship, and given her a purpose when she had none. The love had frightened Cinderpelt at first; she had never been in love before, and hadn't expected to be, unless you counted Fireheart, whose flaming pelt and emerald eyes would attract even the most guarded she-cats. But this was different, this was real, and it was wrong. They were both she-cats. They were both medicine cats. She was old and Cinderpelt was young. But since when did the heart listen to reason? However, Cinderpelt had remained silent, the awful fear of rejection holding her back. Things were no different, apart from the fact that warm tingles flowed through her fur every time she looked at the older she-cat, that every time she brushed against Yellowfang or shared tongues with her mentor her heart would beat a thousand times faster then was healthy, and that now her dreams were no longer permeated by monsters rushing at her with gleaming, terrifying yellow eyes, but the sensation of soft gray fur pressed to hers, and the feeling of a tongue affectionately rasping over her ear.
It wasn't until, that horrible, terrible, hated day; Fireheart told her that Yellowfang, her Yellowfang, was dead, gone forever, gone away from Cinderpelt, that the full extent of her feeling shone through. She was more in love with Yellowfang then she had ever dreamed of being. She didn't just love Yellowfang with all her heart; she loved her with all her soul. She always had. The heartbreak that racked her every cell, her every nerve… it was difficult to survive those first few days after losing her love. Sometimes, when she was alone in her nest, she wondered if there was something torn inside herself, something bleeding and aching like her leg had bled and ached under the skin when she had broken it. Only this pain was so much worse, so much worse. But she survived it. She did. Pride fluttered tentatively next to the pain in her heart. She could live through losing her only love. She could live through anything, now. She was strong, as strong as a warrior, she thought with a touch of irony.
I miss you so much, Yellowfang. You made me stronger then I had ever dreamed of becoming, and gave me a destiny I can walk with pride. I love you.