I watch him as he walks by me, chin resting on my palm, thinking how I could feel like this to my best friend, when I love someone else. My girlfriend. I should love her, I shouldn't be in love with Kyle and Wendy. I can't be. Even Kenny told me, since he's the only person I trusted to let in on my dirty little secret, you can't love with half of your heart. We both know I wouldn't be happy like this.

Torn between them was yanking at my sides, making me hurl inside. I feel like I'm betraying Wendy. Or maybe Kyle. I don't know, I guess it depens on who I pick. I've known both forever. I still remember when we were little, it's as clear as rain.

I'm in pre-school. I see Wendy. I don't think anything of her, I was just a little kid. I crawl over to Kyle, Kenny and Cartman, my regular group. We play around as the teacher tells us were gonna fingerpaint. She walks over to the paper, passing it out as we all cheer. I loved fingerpainting. Me and Kyle would always draw together, usually just joined scribbles in two different colors, his favorite colors and mine. Orange and Blue.

We giggle together laughing as we play in the paint, flopping an unneeded amount of it onto the paper laying on the ground, ignoring the imaginary boundry around it and splashing it on the floor anyways, going to get punished later by the teacher. So as were laughing that girl passed by, the one in the purple hat that was way too small for her. My hands slide to Kyle and rub unto his clothes, making him cry out how he's going to get in trouble now by his mom, surprised when we've been splatting paint everywhere that he only now cared if it got on him, when it actually happens.

I look off of Kyle to Wendy who was watching. She put her hands to her mouth and let a slight giggle in them, then running off to the teacher to show what she made. I watch her until I feel a weak punch on my arm, rubbing it when looking back to Kyle with arms crossed and a pouting face that held an expression I just couldn't help but laugh at.

It's 2nd grade now. I'm still by Kyle, swinging in harmony next to him as were watching each other, seeing just how long we'll stay going together at the same height and speed. I drift off behind him, no longer swinging my legs as I watch her come out onto the playground, best friend Bebe by her side, giggling and gossiping together. I watch as they part and she come closer this way, unintentionally coming closer to me but I take it differently.

My back slings forward as I feel a strong push on me, making me fall straight out the swing flat on my face. My leg hurt and as I was about to get up, when I lift my head I see Wendy's infront of me, hand extending in a friendly helping guesture. I look at it for a minute then wrap my fingers around hers, pulling up on it. I look back to see Cartman fighting with Kyle now, arguing about what just happened. I shake my head at them then turn my attention back to Wendy, who I was surprised to see still standing in front of me.

"Are you okay?"

I zone out for a second, realizing this was the first time we'd actually spoke, or interacted with each other in some way since I've always been so nervous to. I nod my head, getting back to reality.

"I don't think we've had a real introduction. I'm Wendy."

I try to speak, say anything, reply with a simple word, but I can't, and as soon as I open my mouth I do the most embarrising thing ever. I puke right on her. I stand there, watching her gape in disgust as she looks down at her stomach, not wanting to move an inch.

"Eww!" She screams before running off in the other direction.

I even remember our first kiss, but of course, most people always do. What we have been through has been special, but me and Kyle have been through so much more. We've done everything together.

I crawl to my mother, utter a few words unknown, and reach my hands up to her. They were so small, so tiny, what you'd expect from a 3 year old. She reaches for me, pulling me up to her lips and planting a peck on my cheek before setting me on her lap. Her knee rocks me up and down, making me bounce. After hearing a banging noise I see a blurred vision of my dad approaching the door. When he opens it I see a woman. She was medium weight, not like now, and her hair was let down, reaching to her mid-back. She tucked a chunk of it behind her ear, holding her baby in her free hand.

I see there mouth moving, not hearing what their saying since they were in another room. They smile to each other and then she comes in, walks toward me and opens her mouth wide before talking to me in that creepy baby voice.

"Hey there! How are you!"

I squeeze my eyes shut as she rustles her hand through the small patch of hair on my head.

"How about you two get to know each other huh?" She pinches my cheek before walking away as my mom sets me next to him.

I watch as they walk into the other room, and look back at the other kid in front of me, just staring at me like he's never seen another kid before, or atleast got this close to one. We sit there, watching each other stay completely still. Not to long after he busts out laughing, which makes me do the same. He stops suddenly, followed by me and smiles at me. it may seem like an insignificant moment, but since that day I just knew he was different. He was special, and that we'd be best friends forever.

"What aboooout," he points at the next cloud in sight. "that one?"

I squint at it, trying to make a shape of it. It was a beautiful day. Millions of clouds roaming the sky. I was here with my best friend, last day of 1st grade was over and we were relaxing together. Just the two of us and the nature surrounding.

"It kinda looks like.. a monkey on a bicycle."

I turned my head to look at him, still laying next to me on the light brown grass where snow used to be, a look on his face that convinced myself I was crazy. He shook it off and replaced it with a heartful laugh.

"How does- what?"

He was choking on his own laughter and it made me go along with it. Laughing along I look up at the sky again and hit his shoulder repeatingly until he looked up, then I pointed at a cloud just above us. We watched it for a while, drift here and there, until more clouds came to sweep it away.

"Aww."

I looked over to Kyle and placed my hand on his shoulder and chuckled a bit before resting it back on my chest. As the cloud gets farther and father I decide to get up. I reach down to Kyle, who after thinking about it grabbed unto my hand, following along as I chased the heart shaped cloud, hands still linked.

The biggest party of the year. We're in 7th grade now, one year ago. Me and Kyle were hanging out, dancing like retards, drinking punch, until Kenny came over to us and yank us off of the dance floor.

"Dude Kenny. What's up?"

He didn't say anything, just plopped us down in a circle of other people, a bottle in the center of them. Kenny seperated us, holding us down so we couldn't leave no matter how much we wanted to. Spin after spin it didn't land on neither Kyle nor me, lucky us.

Then, it was my turn. I held the bottle in my hand, hesitated until the moment I had to do it when Kenny took my hand and spun it for me. I added a little more push to it, taking up more time. Closing my eyes shut until I hear the oohs and ahhs of my classmates and peeking at the bottle to see where it's pointing. Of course. I imagined someone had moved it while my eyes were closed.

"I get another try right? Since it landed on a guy?"

But they all smirked when everyone shaked their heads. I sighed and stared at the ground, looking up everyonce in a while to see Kyle doing the same thing.

"Come on! You got to do it!" Cartman's voice rang from the crowd as I see more people outside have came to witness this moment.

"Yep, you do." Kenny comfirmed, leaning back so I could get a good veiw of Kyle.

I sigh, almost admiting my defeat when I say, "How long does it have to be?"

They looked around, whispering to each other then nodding in agreement.

"10 seconds." I gape up at them, then a Kyle who was doing the same, then back at them.

"Are you serious?" I say, still shocked I really had to practically makeout with my best friend.

"Just do it already!" Kenny stated, barely giving us any warning before he pushes us into each other, landing with a plump, then getting surprisingly comfortable.

I feel him getting into it, and I find myself feeling the same. His lips were so warm, comforting, like I was safe from the outside if I could stay like this forever. The feel of Kenny's hand was no longer on my back again, and I force myself to pull away. Looking at everyone's eyes bolded in shock, I figured it had been over 10 seconds. After looking at everyone I quickly look to Kyle, who was staring at the ground, lips pressed together, but I could still tell they held a slight smile. I decide to dodge the subject and start the next conversation.

"Soo, who's next?"

They look to each other, trying to grasp what just happened even though they're the ones who edged us on, even though we were forced- through most of it- and continued to play the game as I sneak out, running into the bathroom and pressing my back against the wall. My lips growing bigger as I bite down on my lip, imagining it all playing out again. That was the moment I realized I loved him. No one could make me feel like that if it wasn't meant to be.

"Stan? Stan are you alive?" I shake my head, getting back to the real world and seeing his face in front of mine and just smiling, not able to hide it.

"Yeah, I was just- I was just thinking."

"Well, you stare while you're thinking. You were staring at me for like 5 minutes." I let out a chuckle, knowing I'd probably do that, and hiding my nervousness.

"Sorry, dude. You just mezmerize me." I smirk a little as he playfully rolls his eyes.

"Your so weird. So, I'm bored. Let's ditch and go see a movie."

I smile and get up as I say, "You don't have to tell me twice."

He smiles at me then waves me to follow. As we walk out I look back at Wendy, laughing with Bebe and Red, and make my final desicion as I pull out my phone and send her a text. Hiding myself beside Kyle as she gets out her phone to read it, her smile instantly turning sorry as she lets out a hollow scream along with some tears that makes everyone turn to her, even Kyle.

"Damn, what's her problem?"

I smirk and just show him my phone with the recently sent text for him to read out loud. "Sorry, but it's over. There's someone better."

He looked at me with a confused look, but it's mixed with a smile, hoping it was him, but I just smile and grab his hand as we walk out together, fingers intertwined.