THINGS THAT WILL NEVER _EVER_ HAPPEN IN CSI: NY! 8] Or at least what I THINK will never happen XD

If you like this, review, and I'll write more 8D warning about a LOT of bad bad stuff 8]

"Chapter" one (set in season three) :

"Peeeyton…" a low voice from the corner said.

Peyton turned around and saw Stella sitting in the corner with a banana in her hand, pretending to shoot her.

"Beeeyatch! Ya tryin' shoot meyh?" Peyton replied with her hands on her hips.

"I dooo… you STOOOLE MY PROPERTY!!!" Stella shouted.

"Lyke whoot?!" Peyton said still with her hands on her hips.

"MAC! :(" Stella screamed in big rage.

"O___o Wahiawa, Beeeyatch!" Peyton said with SERIOUS attitude.

"It's a place, you thief"

"Whooootevva Stelly-Smelly" Peyton said, and got Stella attacking.

"ZOMG, A BANANA! :O" "HAX :OO" Peyton screamed when she saw the banana.

to be coontinuuued

"Hey baybeh. You want a taste of real Messer?" Danny said to Lindsay, and raised his hand so she could smell under his arm.

"EW" Lindsay said, and got some REAL freackin' abstinence.

Hawkes came walking in. "Allrrright!! Let's sing a song guys! The Pink Song!" "I only like things when they ARE PINK! 8D" Hawkes shouted out, and threw his hands up in the air before he walked out again, singing his little pink song.

another to be continued

"ACE! I rulz ur sox maaan!" Sid cheered from the autopsy room.

"Whoa maan u aint doin' tha fo long time! Im gon' getcha na'!" Adam shouted while he rolled the dice over the monopoly board.

"WAHOO! 40.000 large maan! Er' with'em!" Sid said, and took a swig from a beer bottle.

"Ayht! That's nawt fair maan!" Adam muttered, and sank down to the floor.

again, a to be continued

"Rawr." Angell said while she looked at Flack. "Rawr." He answered.

"Rawwr." She replied. "Rawwwr" He said, raising his eyebrows. "Rawwwwr" She said and grinned. "RAWR" He shouted so the whole precinct heard it.

weee, a to be continued XD yay

Peyton and Stella-catfight CONTINUING!! (Writing a little bit different because catfights are HARD!)

Peyton: AGH! YA BEEYATCH! *scratching and biting Stella*

Stella: *moaning* *pulls Peytons hair and kicks her*

P: EEEEEEEEEEEP! *throws Stella over her shoulder*

S: SHIT MADDAFACKA! *tries to knockout Peyton*

P: MAC IS TOTALLY MINE! *kicks Stella in the crotch*

S: AAAAAAAAAH!! BUT I SAW HIM FIRST!! BITCH!! *bitchfaces Peyton and drag her down*

P: STFU! HE IS MINE NOW! UUUUUUUGH! *tries to strangle Stella*

guess what? to be continued!

Lindsay was like all over Danny and all hyperactive.

"Your sweat is like a drrrug babyh… rrr…" she stated to him and kept making out with him. "I know, that's what a real Messer does…"

All of a sudden, Mac came walking in on them.

"WHOA O___o WTH?" he said, and backed out again.

Mac walked down the hallway, only to find Sheldon walking around a chair. "Rocking around, the office chair, and have a happy day at work!" he sang loudly. Mac just ran away, and down to the autopsy room, only to discover something maybe worse.

Mac opened the door, and heard a really weird noise.

"I hope you're not necrophilia, Sid…" he said happily and walked in.

"SID?! ADAM?! OH MY GOD! SHIT! SHIT! EW EW EW! OH GOD! o_____O" Mac screamed and ran and ran and ran and ran. (you can guess what they did)

I'll go down to Flack. He is ALWAYS behaving decent, Mac thought, as he ran down to Flack.

When he came down, he was surprised to see that Flack wasn't at his desk. "Where is detective Flack?" he asked an officer. "In the locker rooms." the man answered. "Okay, thanks." Mac said, and started to slouch to the locker rooms. He opened the door, and expected, EXPECTED, Flack to be normal. But you can guess. 8]

He went in and heard: "COME ON AND KISS MEE!!!"

"O___o goshh… " Mac said, staring at Flack and Angell in the corner, causing them to jump at least a few metres from each other.

"I didn't mean to interrupt anything…" Mac mumbled and ran. AGAIN.

Some minutes later, he sat in his office, thinking about what he had been through today. "Well, at least I've got Peyton and Stella. The only ones who had been normal today." He whispered to himself. And some moments after, you can guess (AGAIN) who came.

Peyton: STEEEELLAAA!!! BITCH WHORE COCK SUCKER!!! *pulls Stellas hair*

Stella: STFU SON OF A BITCH MADDAFACKA!! *pushes Peyton through the glass doors in Macs office*

Mac: I think its time for me to retire… o______O

so what did ya think? ^-^ like my English or what? :D

anyways, I hope you laughed :D