THIS OLD TEMPLE: HIDDEN BALANCE
by ardavenport
He walked slowly amidst the great pillars, behind him the blue sky of Coruscant marred only by the ever present streams air traffic. Not even the rise and fall of an Empire could change that.
She hid in the shadows, stealing peaks at him, ducking back when he turned her way. He had straight, dark blonde hair and wide eyes as blue as the sky, but he wasn't very tall. Not like his father.
Shockingly, he wore all black. Boots, belt, pants, tunic, a vest and waist sash that were an approximation of a Jedi's clothes. And on his belt he wore a lightsaber, one that he had made himself.
While he dressed in darkness, she sensed none from him. Though there were scars. But she sensed more than the strength of the light side of the Force as well.
It was balance.
Full and complex, touching light and dark. She closed her eyes, her mind automatically touched the light of the Force and held the dark away. She released it. A lifetime of habit was so hard to break. Her elderly former Master had told her about it, meditated deeply on it ever since the fall of the Sith.
She had tried to grasp the difference, but until now, she had not realized how badly she had fallen short of understanding it. Back in the Outer Rim, she knew that Wimi would be pleased with what she had learned. When she had asked her former Master to come with her, to see the destroyed Temple on the now liberated Coruscant, Wimi had slowly, sadly shaken her head.
"I see you must go. I have seen all that I need to," had been her answer. Her former Master had not been so cryptic since the time she had spent as her Padawan. It had been so strange; after years of being together, in hiding, Wimi had been treating her more like her Padawan, ever since the demise of the Sith. Wimi had patiently tried to guide her meditation toward whatever she had discovered. It was endearing and irritating at the same time, to have her lover and mate trying to lead her like an apprentice again.
The bond between them had not been that way since before the Jedi Council had separated them, after they had confessed their attachment to each other. After they had acknowledged it to themselves. It had surely been through the will of the Force that at opposite ends of the galaxy, they had both survived the Emperor's purge and then later found each other amidst a universe that was sliding into irresistible darkness.
She peered around the base of the pillar concealing her. He was looking up, open-mouthed at the great gray walls of the Temple rising above him. There were still black scorch marks on them, at the base of the towers and along the top of the roof.
'He is so young,' she thought.
He suddenly turned her way, but she had already ducked back into the shadows. He sensed something. He was very strong with the Force, but she was very good at hiding. She had years of practice. When she looked again, he was gazing back at the Temple, his eyes searching for the source of what he felt.
'Dose he know how strong he is?' she wondered. Like his father. But different. Balanced.
She had seen the news holos. One had to study the reports carefully to realize that Darth Vader was the one who had destroyed Emperor Palpatine. Everyone just assumed that Luke Skywalker had done it, not his father, Anakin Skywalker, the Jedi who had betrayed the Order and brought the clones into the Temple to destroy everything, everyone in it.
"Luke!" A howl followed the call.
The new voices came from a taller, older man dressed in black and white; a tall Wookie followed him.
"Han!" Luke turned, answering, but he still looked about, still trying to locate the source of his disquiet. She watched, safely hidden among the ghosts of the past. The newcomers strode up to him. Both the older man and the Wookie looked about uneasily at the great structure of the Temple.
"You really gonna try to open this place?" He did not seem to think that this was a good idea.
Luke shrugged. "I guess." He did not sound very enthusiastic about it. "If I can fight my way through a small army of committees. They have a committee for everything on this planet. The water, the atmosphere, waste disposal..."
Han responded with a crooked smile. "That's civilization for you kid. There's no open space on Coruscant, so everything's controlled. They wouldn't have air to breath here if they didn't." The Wookie grunted agreement.
She sniffed the air. The Wookie would be able to pick of up her scent, but the slight breeze was going away from them, toward her.
"Yeah," Luke agreed. He turned back, looking up toward the top of the Temple. "Emperor Palpatine just had it sealed up." There were giant slabs of plastisteel welded to the great entrance. Above them, any opening, any tiny window along the roof had been covered over, sealed shut. Only the transparisteel panes at the tops of the five towers remained untouched. They showed to the city around the Temple that only death and emptiness was inside.
"Now if I even want to open a window, I have to clear it with the sector ecology committee, just in case I throw the whole ecological balance of the planet off." Luke sounded frustrated.
"Yeah, Leia told me about it. That's life in the big city, kid."
"I can still attach an airlock to it and cut an opening on top. As long as nothing gets out, it's fine." Luke gestured back toward the steps where his friends' speeder bikes were parked. "I was going to go up there and check it out."
Han grimaced. The Wookie moaned.
"You really think there's anything worth salvaging in there?"
"I'm not salvaging, Han."
"Hey, there's no point in denying it, kid. This is a salvage job. This place has been dead for years."
"No, it's not dead," Luke replied. "There's something here. I can feel it. . ." His voice trailed off as his senses reached out again. His two friends were completely insensitive to it, but they remained silent, apparently understanding something of what he meant.
She remained still. Hidden.
He would never think to look for a person. Nor did the Force seem to guide him to where she was.
'I could tell him. I could give him so much,' she thought.
She stayed still. Something in the Force warned her not to move, not to make any sound while the three friends nearby talked about the ruined Temple's place in the planet's ecological balance.
"Moisture vaporators?" Han asked.
"Yep," Luke confirmed. "I looked at some of the old plans. They had some self-sustaining environments inside, gardens and things, and they used the vaporators as part of the water cycle. Same basic design as Uncle Owen's, except," he held his hands out, "bigger."
The Wookie chuckled, throatily. Han slapped him on the back. "Well, who'd've thought of that. You're back on the farm after all. Just like home."
She stepped back further into the shadows as they talked of things about the Jedi Temple that she had never imagined. Dull, ordinary things about the heating and cooling, the air circulation and the building itself.
If she stepped out now, she thought, she would completely surprise them. Luke Skywalker would recognize her for what she was. A Jedi Knight. Former.
She could tell him what had been in the Temple before it was destroyed, what had been lost. Tell him how to rebuild it. Help him. He yearned for knowledge; she sensed it.
'Why do I hesitate?' she wondered.
//Ask yourself, you should, what you really wish?//
She froze. She could not have moved if she had wanted to. The voice she heard, the presence she felt, was from long ago, when the Temple she stood under had lived.
It was Master Yoda.
//Hmmmmm?//
She trembled. The Force was strong around her, but she felt as if she dare not touch it, that her mind was unprepared. Was this what her former Master had hinted at, since the Sith had fallen? If so, she now comprehended why it was something that one needed to discover for oneself.
//You only see with half your mind, my Padawan.//
She gasped when she heard this new voice. Master Wimi. A hazy image of the older woman formed. She knew it wasn't real, only an image in the Force, but she felt the presence of an elderly woman who should have been tending a small cottage on a small green moon on the outer edge of the galaxy.
She clasped her hands over her mouth, holding in any sound. Silent tears ran down her face. The image smiled into her mind.
//I will show you, my Padawan. How to see with your whole mind.//
The words were spoken gently, but they only paralyzed her with grief. The cottage, the home that she had accepted and tended, was empty now. It would never be the same again. The love in it was gone.
Nearby, three voices conversed about environments, cutting tools and airlocks. She was only aware of their physical presence. Inside her mind a deeper and older presence spoke.
//What say you? Wish you, to be a Jedi again?// Master Yoda asked.
She and Wimi had sworn themselves to each other, forsaking the Jedi Code that forbid attachments. The Jedi Order had been destroyed. Wimi had accepted that with the wisdom of her years.
'But did I really accept that?' she wondered. It was easy to abandon something that was gone anyway. Nearby, Luke Skywalker sought to learn whatever he could about the Jedi. He yearned for knowledge with a strength that she hadn't felt in years.
//Taught him everything, I did, that he needs to know. Know you more? Something that I missed?// Yoda asked, his thoughts demanding her answer, but they were spoken kindly. She wiped her nose and eyes, still careful not to make a sound. If she revealed herself now, she would be instantly accepted. And she would be a Jedi again. It would be easy, especially with her love, her attachments gone with Wimi. Skywalker would ask her everything and she would tell him everything. It was so tempting. She would teach him the ways of the Force . . .
'But I don't know the ways of the Force anymore,' she realized.
She had sensed it in Luke Skywalker. The Force was the Force. But around Luke, it was a whole, not split into two, light and dark. She did not know how to do that. Wimi had tried to show her, but she had not understood. She still did nOt.
//See it, know it, we did not. Not I. Not Obi-Wan. Not his Master. Not his apprentice. Until young Skywalker showed us.// Master Yoda's presence spoke sadly.
Behind her, young Skywalker now made plans with his friends, to go up to the Temple roof and make a hole in it somewhere.
//You are still part of the old imbalance, the separation of light and dark. Would you bring that back?// Wimi asked.
She shook her head.
//Decide you must. Act. Or do nothing, and be discovered.// Yoda warned.
She suddenly realized that the trio nearby were heading for their speeders. She moved along the pillar, keeping it between herself and them. They mounted their speeder bikes, ascended and disappeared over the line of the Temple roof.
She felt empty, useless. Even with the Sith gone, she was still hiding.
'Am I forbidden, forever, to speak with him?' she wondered.
//Of course not, my Padawan.// Wimi spoke gently. A fresh tear ran down her face. Then another. //When he is ready, he will know where to look. The Force will guide him.//
'Of course,' she realized. 'He must find me.'
She wiped her face and sniffled, no longer needing to keep silent. Keeping to the shadows of the pillars, she went to the great steps of the Temple to descend, back down into the city. Looking over her shoulder, she saw no movement above. They were busy up there, making plans. She swiftly went down the many steps and found new shadows to hide in. The presence of her old Master, lingered at the edges of her senses. She didn't know where she would go, what she would do.
Wimi's thoughts smiled into hers. //The Force will guide you, my love. The Force is with you.//
– END –