Emma shot out of her bed. She had that dream again.
The dream where she was with Sean, and they were happy.
They couldn't be better. He had proposed in a field of sunflowers.
And she was so happy, she nearly cried.
This happens every night. And every night, it does end in tears.
She made her way towards the bathroom for a box of tissues, thinking about him. He was probably happy, alone. Without her to think about he shouldn't have a care in the world. Manny is right, I need to get over him. He isn't the only guy in the world.
Right, he's just the only one that matters.
I'm with Damian now, I should be happy. He's hot and all, but, he's no Sean. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm attracted to him and all, but he's just not… not someone I can spend my life with. Not someone who would take me to a sunflower field and propose. And definitely not someone whose proposal she would accept. He was just… just Damian.
Damn, no more tissues.
As she made her way back towards the bed, she thought about the party. It only happened a couple of nights ago, but she still had yet to get over it. She had been so mean, so hurtful, he loved her, still. She should have simply accepted him back, ran up to him and kissed him, even with Ellie already on him. But she hadn't. She told him she loved Damian, and was going to stay with him.
It was her biggest mistake.
"He's a lover, not a fighter, that's why I'm with him" where my exact words. How could I be so cold? If he knew what was going through my head. I just, I didn't want to get hurt again. I can't stay with someone who I will hear from every now and then. It's one thing to have a boyfriend who won't call you, but to have one that you have no way of reaching for months on end, that's sheer torture. She couldn't handle that.
She groaned loudly as she thudded back into her bed.
Sleeping wasn't an option anymore. The dream would come back, wake her up, and make her cry. She needed a distraction. A getaway. Somewhere to go where things weren't so complex. Where he exboyfriend didn't make her feel more then you actual boyfriend did. Somewhere where her friends can give more advice other then, "get over him." Somewhere where she could be herself.
The only place that had ever felt so right was Sean's arms.
And she had already made it so that wasn't even a tangible option. He was at Jay's for the night, but he would be gone again soon. And she would be here. In Degrassi, waiting for some moment to change her feelings. Waiting for her second one and only to come around the corner and sweep her off of her feet. It was tragic how unlikely any of this was.
She wiped her nose gently, tears along with it.
Manny was probably up, doing god knows what in God knows where. She had a knack for that. Emma moved across the room and grabbed her cell phone from her desk, silently praying that Manny wasn't at Jay's, talking to Sean about what had happened. If she was, there was no doubt she would leave out the details about my dreams, and my lack of love for Damian.
She always spoke the truth, even when she shouldn't.
Emma's tiny fingers scrolled through her contact list, the whole time hating the fact that the M's weren't closer to the beginning of the alphabet. Finally, upon finding her name, called her. The phone rang in her ear, the drone creating a somewhat serene state of mind, the one someone would go into before fading off to bed. Manny's high voice quickly put an end to the peace in her mind, and snapped her out of her pre-sleep glaze.
"Em? Are you alright? Why did you call me so late?!" Her voice seemed a little impatient, as if her phone went off in a movie. Sighing, Emma unraveled the story of her dream to Manny, and her thoughts on Sean, only pausing here and there to breathe. Once finished Emma waited for her friends response, the usual, "get over him, you have Damian."
"Uhh Emma, we'll be over in a minute…"
We?! We who?! Who was there with Manny?! Oh God. Emma's mind was racing she had just spilled her soul to her best friend, possibly on speakerphone. And possibly to her ex. She could have just told Sean that she was still in totally and completely in love with him.