Blind-Sided by Mr. Big

What can I say? I've been writing fics for a long time (my 8th anniversary as a member here was, like, two days ago, and I started reading friends fanfics probably a year before then), so I need some new things to try. You can only have the canon couples get together through different scenarios so many times. And, I'm really into writing one-shots lately. So, here. Rachel's thoughts on secret Mondler during TOW Joey's Bag. I've never strayed from Chandler's POV in first-person narrations before since I have him down so well, but….I need something new and different. Enjoy!

~.~

It's funny, ya know? I never saw it coming. Never. You know how, when someone ends up with someone they've known forever, everyone is like, "Oh, I always knew!" In this case, no. No, I, at least, didn't always know. I didn't see the whole Chandler-Monica thing coming. Not until recently, after being blind-sided by a telephone conversation definitely not meant for my ears. And, yea, I think, after everyone else finds out (assuming they aren't going to sneak around for another 50 years or so and have a secret marriage with secret babies in a secret house in the suburbs), I think everyone will be like, "Oh, of course, falling in love with one of your best friends!" But, no. No. I didn't see it coming.

I mean, come on, Chandler? And Monica? Monica going for Chandler? Okay, once you get past the horrible first impression Chandler gives off, and if you can get past all of the jokes and sarcastic comments, and once you realize that he isn't actually as terrible as he believes he is, he really isn't a bad guy. He even has his sweet moments. And you can dress him up all nice and make him look all sexy for special occasions. And, honestly, not the worst kisser in the world. But…Chandler?

Really, though, even Chandler going for Monica? Don't get me wrong, we've been friends since we could walk, but she's…Monica. She's obsessive and compulsive and anal and a clean freak, and has the whole rest of her future planned out once she finds herself the right man to live it with. That's the polar opposite of scared-of-the-word-commitment Chandler. I guess I can see how that could work, though. She can be all OCD about no dishes being left in the sink, or crummies on the couch, or a water ring from someone not using a coaster, and he can just crack some joke, and….No, no, no, that would make Monica more mad. Huh. Good luck, Chandler!

Anyway, now that I've seen them together, and I know there's something there, I see it. And I'm realizing how incredibly terrible they are at hiding it. It's the looks, just a moment too long. Or the smiles they give to each from other across the room when they think no one else is watching. Or sitting just a little too close, not quite holding hands, but almost. A kiss on the cheek that was never there before. Doing the amount of laundry that only someone with what, like 12 kids probably does. God, they suck at sneaking around! How did I not see this sooner?

I could lie and say that I didn't have the urge to scream from the rooftop and tell everyone I ran into about them. I could pretend I don't gossip, and that being one of the first to crack their secret didn't give me some sense of accomplishment. But, yes, I'll admit it, it did.

But…Yes, there is a but. But, after talking to Joey, and finding out the (very) little he knew about their relationship, and then seeing them, both together and apart, I realized that I can't be the one to ruin this for them. They're both just so uncharacteristically happy! Monica is just so gosh darn smiley all the time! I want to run up and shake her and tell her to spill and find out everything from who initiated the first kiss and if they've talked about the future, to what the hell Chandler Bing is like in the bedroom. Because that's one thing I can't pretend I'm not curious about. Is it like, knock-knock jokes in the middle of sex, or is he all sweet and romantic? Because as much as I'd think it's the first, I'd almost bet it's the latter. And speaking of Chandler, he's just as giddy. All happy, not quite as many sarcastic remarks whenever we meet up on our lunch breaks. Really, they seem to be just about perfect together.

How the hell could I call myself the least bit of a romantic ever again if I were to be the one to ruin whatever they have going on right now?

So, for now, I'll bite my tongue when they say they're going to do some more laundry. And, for now, I'll fight the urge to spread the best gossip I've had my hands on since finding out about Mallory from HR hooking up with one of the delivery guys in the back of his truck, and getting caught by one of the sales girls, who happened to be her current boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. Or something like that.

Anyway, I'm going to keep fighting that urge. Because, someday soon (really soon, they suck at hiding it), everyone is going to find out about their relationship. And, when they do, I can tell them how I found out, and I can squeal at Monica and ask if I can be her maid-of-honor and if I can be the godmother of her kids (okay, I'm not asking these things in front of Chandler), and she can fill me in on months of (obviously) really juicy relationship details, and, ah! I can't wait.

But, for now, I'll bite my tongue. Because, goddamnit she's living the perfect relationship, and I'm not bitter enough to ruin it for her. Or for Chandler. He's managed to grow on me in the past five years, too.

Now, if only they knew that I knew right now, because I'd really like to know how Chandler is going to get out of best-at-everything Monica finding out that he hates her massages….

~.~

Reviews, please and thanks! I'd really appreciate them since this is a character I don't usually write :)

And, with that, I'm leaving town for the weekend, which is much needed, because wedding planning is ALREADY stressing me out (two years in advance, HA!), and my summer lab is stressing me out (although me professor told my partner and I that our presentation of our first project was the best in the class—score! She is sooooo writing my letter of recommendation for grad school!). Anyway, boo stress, yay for a weekend of jet skiing and drinking with fiancé and friends (though not at the same time!).