One Night

Rain pattered against the building, the unnaturally bright light coming from the refrigerator casting a glare off the windows. There was a splattering sound like yogurt hitting a tile floor, and Raito groaned "It's nearly three am, how could you be hungry now?" L looked up, his mouth full of ice cream, and swallowed, putting the carton on the counter with the spoon still stuck in it and grabbing a washcloth to wipe the yogurt mess off the floor. "I don't sleep much, so I need the extra calories in order to function during the day. Also your whining takes a lot out of me." Raito opened his mouth to argue, but then snapped it shut angrily, realizing it would do no good to argue. "You should eat something, Raito. It'll help you sleep better."

"It's a proven fact that eating something late at night makes it harder for you to sleep."

"Don't be so quick to believe everything you hear." L rummaged around in the fridge, then pulled out an apple, holding it out to Light, who paused. "Ryuzaki, is this a joke?" He asked incredulously. He knew about the notes Kira's victims had left, was L still testing him at this hour of the night? L smiled wryly and replaced the apple, then closed the fridge and took the carton of ice cream, grabbing the spoon sticking out of it and shoving it into his mouth. "I don't suppose you're going to get a bowl?" Asked Raito tiredly. L smiled, his mouth still full, then shook his head. He always took the food and put it on his night table, the ice cream would be melted in the morning. Now the tricky part, thought Raito, navigating through the dark room in handcuffs while dead tired. He walked as far away from L as the chain would allow him, which was a mistake because it caught on something and he tripped, knocking over an end table, upending a lamp and hitting his head on the wooden arm of the couch while he was at it. He groaned, stretching out on the floor and waiting for the world to stop spinning. "Raito?" a slightly blurry voice inquired, he looked up and saw L leaning over him. His face was spinning too. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Um…four?"

"Two. I think you hit your head pretty hard."

Raito giggled "There's more than one of you."

L raised his eyebrows, noticing how out of character that was for Raito and how the younger boy was now choking back laughter. Raito was trying to focus on something stable-something being L's face-to help his vision return to normal. The room had stopped spinning, but he was still seeing everything in twos, like he was looking through a many-faceted gem. When he was younger his father had brought him and Sayu back a blue crystal, fake, but it still had that cold feeling when you rubbed your hand across it. It was cut so that it was flat on one side, but the other side had many faces, so that if you looked through the flat side you'd see multiples of whatever you were looking at. It was like that now, but less extreme, the multiple L's were already fading back into one.

"How many fingers now?"

"Three. But if I really wanted too, I could have figured that out anyway since you don't have six fingers on one hand."

"Hm. You're right about that. But why would you lie?"

"I…don't know. Alright, your logic trumps mine. Help me up, will you?" L stuck out a hand; Raito smiled ruefully and grasped his wrist. L started to pull him up but Raito groaned again and loosened his hold, dropping back to the floor. "You're killing me with these late night sugar binges." His head was starting to pound, and suddenly the room felt stuffy and confined. "I need air. Can we go outside?"

"It's raining…"

"Doesn't matter."

L held out a hand again, then used his other hand to grab Raito's wrist so that he wouldn't slip away again. Raito paused, being pulled up so fast was disconcerting, and the room span for a few more seconds. He started to walk forward, but he was dizzy and stumbled, grabbing onto L's shoulder for support and nearly taking him down with him.

"Oops. Sorry."

"That hurt. I think I pulled a muscle. That's twice in the past ten minutes." Muttered L, massaging his shoulder.

"Twice?"

"It hurt my wrist when you fell." L reminded him, holding up the hand with the metal cuff around it. Sure enough, there was a red welt forming there.

Raito shrugged apologetically, and then put his arm around L's shoulders, allowing L to half-carry him from the room onto the small balcony jutting off from the living room. As they stepped into the rain, Raito's hair was plastered almost immediately to his face, and his gasped with some strange euphoria, moving out farther. L looked at him, a look of confusion on his face. He cocked his head to the side inquiringly, and Raito didn't need to ask what he wanted to know. "It's just that…I can't remember the last time I just stood in the rain, just for the hell of it." He grinned at L, who raised his eyebrows. "He's grinning. It's definitely a concussion."

"What are you thinking about, Ryuzaki?"

"Hm? I wasn't really thinking about anything at all…"

Raito let it go, then sat down on the concrete as someone had moved all the furniture against the wall of the building and covered it with a tarp. L sat next to him, and for a while they just sat there, each locked in his own thoughts. A siren wailed in the distance. The traffic seemed very far away, somehow, as if muffled by the rain. Raito soon regretted coming out here in bare feet, but then remembered L never wore socks, or shoes for that matter. Was he cold all the time, or had he simply learned to live with it, growing up in the darkness of the indoors? Probably the latter. Raito shivered, then unconsciously scooted closer to the man next to him for warmth, close enough to see the details of his face, turned upwards toward the rain. Raito examined it, then started. L's knees were shaking ever so slightly, his entire body trembling like a leaf in the wind, but not from the cold.

"Ryuzaki…are you crying?"

L turned to face him, smiling. The rain on his face made it hard to see, but he was definitely crying, the smile was sad and forced. Raito stared "Why…"

L just smiled again, closing his eyes and shaking his head as if pestered by a bothersome kindergartener. Raito, unaware of what he was doing, slowly put his hand on L's face. It was cold, wet from the rain and clammy, more so than his own skin. L smiled without turning, he raised his own hand to feel Raito's. There was some wordless understanding between them, and as they ignored the sounds of traffic and the bright lights below, it was as if the balcony had become isolated from the outside world, safe from deception and lies, an island where thoughts of Kira were forgotten. Slowly, L leaned his head on Raito's shoulder, the younger boy's hand still pressed against his cheek. Raito tensed at first, but then relaxed, feeling L's hair brush his face. It smelled like cheap strawberry shampoo and wet dog.

A good smell. Raito smiled, wondering why he'd never noticed that before. He turned to L, who had his eyes closed. He looked like he was concentrating especially hard on something.

"What're you doing now?"

"Praying, I think."

"To who? About what?" Asked Raito, but as soon as the words left his mouth they sounded awkward, like he was intruding on something sacred and private. L didn't seem to notice.

"You know…the answer to both questions is that I really have no idea." It was partially a lie. He did have some idea of what it was about.

"Please, let me keep this night untarnished…I would like this feeling…untouched by whatever happens tomorrow, or the next day, safe in my memory…let Raito keep it that way too. Yes, that would be nice. We always find it so hard to remember somebody in a good light after we become enemies with them, don't we?" He looked at Raito, who was watching the bright city lights that reflected in the puddles on the concrete dance as raindrops them, distorting the images into shining warped shapes. His rust-colored eyes had the look of a small child's wonder, as if the lights in the puddle were something rare and spectacular, but there was another look deeper than that, something even L himself couldn't read. Was it sadness?

"That is what separates fake friends from real ones…after you break up with someone you were never really friends with, you desperately want to hate them. When you part with real friends, a strong person will keep happy memories from your time with them. But we want to hate our old friends…why? Because the memories are too painful? Perhaps…" He looked at Raito again, and smiled a little bit. "Perhaps the memories just amplify the absence of the person. All the more reason to keep them around. That, I think, is it…but who would want to forget this?" He shuddered with cold, he was soaked through to the skin, and the concrete was cold too. Raito was thinking as he looked at the water in the puddle, how different tonight was then any other. He looked at L. "Our lives hang in the balance…of what? Fate? That's ridiculous…" Even as he thought it, an image, too vivid, of a funeral appeared in his mind, L in the mahogany coffin, the other task force members standing around, and in the background a pair of shadowy eyes, Kira…

"Raito-kun? Are you crying?"

The question startled him, Raito hadn't been aware he was crying until he was forced to hide that fact that he was doing so.

"Ryuzaki-san, I was not…" L interrupted him with a slightly awkward wet-dog hug. Raito, surprised, didn't move at first, then leaned back slightly, getting tired. He wouldn't let the image bother him anymore. Because whatever happened next didn't seem to matter anymore, so he wouldn't let it ruin this. No one could touch it.

This night, they both knew without speaking, was for them and them alone.