Compounding Problems

On board the Enterprise, six months or so after the Narada incident.

A/N: Plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone. Spock makes a big mistake. He also discovers who supports him when he's down.

Uhura's POV

"To what do I owe this honor, my dear Lieutenant?" Dr. McCoy looks up, happy to see me.

I stand with my arms crossed, obviously defensive. I tap my toe, look to one side.

He quickly ushers me into his office and closes the door. "Security code three. There. That's about as private as we can get. First off, take a seat and I'll get you a nice…what? Cup of hot tea?"

I nod, still unable to look the doctor in the eye.

He replicates a cup of tea and settles in across his desk from me. He pulls a container from his desk drawer.

"No sense letting all this dandy privacy go to waste." He toasts me with his hip flask and takes a swig, then pours a bit into a glass before he tucks it neatly away into an equipment drawer. "It's the hobgoblin, isn't it?"

I swallow down the lump in my throat and nod. "You know, he hates it when you call him that."

"I know." The Doctor says, leaning forward onto the desk. "He's pushing you away? Throwing himself into work? Going ultra-Vulcan on you?"

I shrug a little, blinking back tears.

"We both know…he's gone through a hell of a lot lately."

"I…know. I know, but…" I take a breath, let it go slowly. "I've tried talking to him. But…it's like talking to a wall. He's changed…and I don't mean from the disaster. I mean…recently."

Dr. McCoy swirls a brown fluid around the bottom of a small glass, but doesn't actually take a drink. "Yeah. Something about him has been bothering me lately, too. I mean, more than just his usual annoyingly arrogant Vulcan self. He's seemed more than controlled. Flat aspect. Robotic."

I nod eagerly, relieved to not be alone in seeing it. "Yes. Not just a higher level of Vulcan control but…emotionally absent."

"Things between you…?"

I shake my head slightly, looking down. "I've been blaming myself. Things got worse after I…I said it was grinding me down."

The doctor frowns slightly. "What do you mean?"

"Just the constant…awful subtext…you know, the grief. He meditates, he over sleeps, he runs in the gym for hours. It's a constant struggle. It's just…always there." I bow forward and lean my face in my hands for a moment, then gather myself together again. "I just wanted to lighten up for a while, to laugh again. I went out for a weekend on Starbase Four with some friends to dance and blow off some steam…" I take a breath. "When I came back he was…different."

"Don't blame yourself Uhura. He has a lot to work through."

"I think something's really wrong with him."

"You don't think he's suicidal, do you? Has he said anything?"

I shake my head firmly. "No. It's not like that." God, I hope not. "He's just totally neutral. Like a…a Kohlinaru."

"Kohlinaru…those Vulcan monks that purge all emotion. I've heard of them. They…you don't suppose he did it? Purged out all of his emotions?"

"No. He couldn't have. Not without help: a healer or an adept." But I'm not one hundred percent sure. Nothing about Spock is certain in the best of times.

The Doctor steeples his hands, and then rubs his index fingertips over his chin. "Well, let me worry about him later. Right now, let's talk a little more about you."