Okay, a quick spoof based on many of the girls', including my own, obsessive stories on fanfiction, Romeo and Juliet, and a little bit of Twilight. Just to fill you in this takes place in girls' stories where the girl loves Ralph, Jack has kidnapped both. Ralph is beaten to a pulp and is sitting before girl and Jack. Tribe members are all watching. Ralph has a forgotten knife in his pocket.

Jack possessively grabbed my arm, "We're leaving now!" as he turned to drag me away he spit before Ralph. Unfortunately for him he looked like an idiot because his spit had more mucus than he expected and the strand dangled from his mouth. He embarrassedly wiped it away.

"Please Jack. Just allow me one minute with him, then I will willingly go with you."

Jack smirked with his evil glistening on the corners of his lips. Either that or it was that nasty logy he just hawked up. "Very well then."

I fell on my knees before this beaten boy I loved. I brought him into a hug and whispered in his ear, "Remember the knife, you still have it."

He looked at me with disbelief and puzzlement. I answered his questioning eyes with a nod. He pulled it out hesitantly. Before he could do anything, I grabbed it out of his hands and stabbed myself a couple times in the stomach. He looked confused, "I thought you wanted me to attack Jack!"

"Yeah, that would have probably been a better plan," I gasped with blood sputtering from my lips.

Ralph grabbed the knife and stabbed himself, "I don't want to live my life with out you, Baby!"

I smiled at his kind gesture, "Aww, you shouldn't have."

"I know I just sort of understood what dying means, you know, death, not being alive, and all."

Jack interrupted our touching moment, "Hey, now that she's dying, who's suppose to fulfill, you know, my needs?"

Roger piped in, "Well hey that's easy, just do it yourself."

Jack looked at him disgusted. Then he suggestively raised an eyebrow, "Or there's you." He said deviously.

Roger yelped and ran into the forest. I laughed out a glob of blood from what just happened and then turned to the love of my life. With my last breaths I told him how I truly feel, "I love you Edward!"

Confused and upset, Ralph sat up and looked down at me, "Who the heck is Edward?!"

With my last of my last breaths I said, "Wait, you're not Edward? I knew I should have worn my glasses when we got on that plane, then we wouldn't have this whole misunderstanding."

With a quiet sob who I now know to be Ralph, turned over and breathed no more

.

I muttered under my breath, "Oh crap! I just killed myself for Ralph; I don't even like him let alone love him. And now I have to accept my death. Death, darnnit." Then I too rolled over and died.

I floated overhead in my new ghostly body regretting my leaving of the physical body. I stared at it enviously while Ralph's ghost body flew into the forest crying about how I never loved him and he died for nothing. Jeez, he was such a wuss! I sighed and went back to staring at my body. Simon walked up to the two lifeless bodies on the ground. Finally, some one had the decency to give us a proper burial. He pulled a stick out from behind his back and started poking my dead body in the mangled stomach, "Hey, it's squishy," he announced and soon every tribe member, young and old stood around my body and poked it. I silently fumed and flew up into the sky where I could hopefully forget this mutiny.

Aha! Quite frankly, I'm proud of myself. I thought it was pretty funny. If you agree with me review, if you don't, review, If you're just not that sure, review. So basically anyone who read this should review, after all, it will only take like two seconds out of your day ;)