"Can you believe that, that -," Rodney sputtered indignantly.
Teyla held up her hand to cut him off. "Do not say it, Rodney. We know how you feel," she told him in an oddly calm manner.
"He's gone too far this time," was all the Canadian was finally able to spit out.
"Like Teyla said, Rodney, we know," Sheppard agreed and then looked at Ronon, busily writing on the sheet of paper in front of him. "What are you doing?"
Ronon looked up for a moment, a grim smile on his face. "Listing the ways I could kill Dr. Kavanagh," he answered before going back to his writing.
"How many do you have so far?" Rodney asked curiously, leaning over the table.
"Three, but they all involve him being shot in some way," the Satedan told him, not looking up.
"If you've got extra paper, hand it out," Sheppard ordered, a thoughtful look on his face. "Let's see how many we can come up with…and be creative. Kavanagh's death should be slow and painful."
Ronon handed out the extra sheets and they all started writing. None of them spoke for a while though there was the occasional snicker from both John and Rodney. However, they all looked up when Teyla started to giggle.
"I don't think I want to know," Sheppard commented as Teyla got herself under control.
"You will see," she singsonged and even Ronon looked concerned.
Without saying another word, they all went back to their lists.
An hour later, the pages were once more in front of their writers after having been passed around the table. They looked at each other speculatively and then grins began to appear.
"If Carson or Elizabeth ever saw these, they'd send us home," Rodney announced as he began to laugh.
"Send us home? Hell, they'd put us away for life," Sheppard laughed, folding up his list and tucking it into his pants pocket.
"Possibly, but where would they put us?" Teyla asked with a mischievous grin. Her own list disappeared into her shirt a moment later.
Her question brought more laughter from Rodney and John and they rose, leaving the lounge together.
As Teyla rose to her feet, she looked at Ronon. There was a strange look on his face.
"Ronon, what is wrong?" she asked softly, resting her hand on his shoulder.
"I wasn't done figuring out ways to kill him," he replied, sighing heavily and then rising to his feet.
"I am sure you will have plenty of time for that," she told him, patting him on the back as they headed out into the hallway.
Teyla's List1. Take him to highest tower of city and 'accidentally' knock him over railing.
2. Use him as a sparring dummy and have a long session.
3. Borrow one of Maj. Lorne's grenades and stick it down his pants.
4. Shoot him in the head numerous times with Wraith stun weapon.
5. Send him hunting with Jinto.
6. Tell Lt. Cadman that he called her a s$t and let her kill him.
John's List
1. Shoot him in the back of the head and blame it on Bates.
2. Tie heavy blocks to his feet and knock him off the pier.
3. Send him on a mission with Ronon.
4. Tell Carson that he called him a sissy Scot and let him kill him.
5. Make sure he chokes on food…do not perform Heimlich.
6. Smother him with a pillow.
Rodney's List1. Hang him by his ankles in front of the Stargate…and start dialing.
2. Snatch his medical file from Carson, discover allergies and make sure he comes into contact with whichever one is deadliest.
3. If no allergies, suffocate him with his own bed pillow.
4. Zap him into Wraith dart and then only bring back part of him.
5. Have him eat Cadman's cooking.
6. One word: POISON!
Ronon's List
1. Shoot him in the head.
2. Shoot him in the chest.
3. Shoot him in the face.
4. Slit his throat and blame it on…well, whoever.
5. Tell Elizabeth that he called her a c$#t and let her kill him.
6. Kick him out of the puddle jumper…while it's in flight.