The Last of Sirius

by oops32

He regrets so much, and yet nothing. He's ready to move on, seen so much, lost so many. He could have done anything, been anything, and now...now it is all gone, and there is nothing and nobody left. Sirius's thoughts as he falls through the veil. No own.

What was Harry thinking? What had possessed him to storm the Ministry? For him? Why? Only two years. But that was enough.

Harry was too much like James. So much like James. "He's not James." Molly's words flash through his head. But he wanted James back. And this boy, this child, was so much like James. So loyal. Too loyal. The boy was so gullible. So foolish.

Let me die, he wanted to tell Harry. I should have died already anyway. For you to be in this position, I should have died. I should have been Secret Keeper. Died before telling Voldemort the hidden location. Why did you save me? He wanted to reproach Harry. Why did you want to save me? It's my fault, all my fault.

Sometimes he considered it. Bursting into battle. Dying in battle. James would have, if he had been the one to die.

But now, he thought bitterly, now, he was ready. He was here, already. So he would battle. Duel with all that was left in him. Fight, for all those people he had let down. And if he died, then he died. But not before giving it his all.

He had nothing left to live for, anyway. Nobody to live for. Except Harry. He should have been the first to die. Die before seeing them die, or go crazy, or be tortured. Alice. Frank. Lily. James. They had children. They had family. They had people that would mourn their deaths. Who would have mourned his?

Hestia, but he would die for her. James. Lily, because of James. Remus. His mum wouldn't. She would celebrate, shout it from the rooftops. He laughs, bitterly, even though nothing's funny. And suddenly, he's toppling. Falling, falling, falling, falling.

His last thought is, "I'm sorry, Harry. I'm coming, mate.