Nightmares
"Xander, Xander, wake up. It is happening again." she says as she shakes him.
Xander finds himself being shaken awake by Buffy. "I am awake. I am awake." he assures her. He throws off the covers and starts to get dressed ignoring Buffy's clear embarrassment over seeing him in just his boxers. Hell, he lives with hundreds of super hot girls who run around sweaty and half naked most of the time so turn about is only fair. Buttoning his pants, he says "Ok let's go."
Buffy leads him back to her room where Willow is floating two feet above their bed. Oddly, this is not the unusual part. The unusual part is the thrashing clearly indicating another nightmare. Willow rants as she twists in the air. Unfortunately, she switches languages every other word so it is impossible to figure out what she is saying.
As they watch, she suddenly, floats up right and opens her eyes. There is no sign of pupils in her eyes. The sockets are just pools of angry red and yellow energy. She speaks in a voice full of power and fury "Ju makon tulma ju te" and then collapses like a puppet with its strings cut.
Buffy rushes to Willow's side and cradles her sweat soaked head. She begs "Will, wake up Will." as she lightly strokes her cheek. Slowly, oh so slowly, Willow's eyes flutter open. She smiles weakly and tries to speak but is unable. Buffy gently brushes a stray hair away from Willow's face as she reassures her lover "It is ok, Will. We are here."
Willow smiles again before she fades off to sleep. Fighting back her tears of worry, Buffy looks to Xander "We need to call Giles."
"Are you sure? Willow made it pretty clear she didn't want Giles involved. I still don't know what happened but she has been avoiding him for months now." Xander asks.
"I know but we don't have a choice. No one here has any clue what is happening. Call him." Buffy replies.
"Great. Put me in the middle. Thanks a lot. Let me go check my will and I will get right on that." jokes Xander.
Buffy appreciates his lame joke. His jokes have always reassured her no what apocalypse was about happen.
Willow hears their conversation and struggles to wake. She mumbles softly "Don't"
"Don't what, Willow." inquires Buffy but Willow has fallen asleep again.
"Are you sure that is what she said?" Giles asks again.
"Yes, I even double checked the surveillance tapes to make 100% sure."
"You have surveillance cameras in our room?" Buffy notes.
"We watch everyone, even our friends." remarks leader Xander. High school Xander adds "Didn't know you had a birthmark there."
"We will have to talk about this." Buffy replies with her tone going from playful to challenging.
"I am in charge. Anyone who doesn't like it can leave." Xander states
"Enough!" commands Giles.
Buffy puts on her pout face but her eyes let Xander know he has not heard the end of this.
"The translation of what Willow said is 'You dare summon me.' which by itself is a common enough demonic phrase but the language she used leaves no doubt. I think she tried to summon The Lord of Dragons." Giles explains.
"Well that is not that bad right? He seemed nice enough for a demon. He did save us from The First." comments Buffy.
"It is very bad! The Lord of Dragons is unique because he is not allied with good or evil. He works for whoever meets his price. You remember what it cost your loved ones last time. Do you honestly think Willow could match that price by herself? The only thing I don't understand is why she is still alive. All the texts are crystal clear that if you fail to meet his price he destroys you. Xander, can you show me all the surveillance footage you have. Maybe I can figure out what happened by seeing more of her nightmares." Giles ponders.
"Sure, I have got hours of footage but we could never make heads or tails of it. She switched languages too often and we know only small portions of the languages she used." Xander replies.
Several hours later, Giles stands cleaning his glasses as he explains to Buffy and Xander what he learned "Well, I am certain that The Lord of Dragons is the source of Willow's ailment but I still don't understand what happened. In this part here (points to a section of footage) she is condemning some fools for daring to call upon her and in this part she is talking about failing to meet her price. It goes on like this thru the rest of the video. Willow is acting like she is The Lord of Dragons. It makes no sense. If she summoned him and failed to meet his price, he should have destroyed her. It might help if we had some idea why she would be desperate enough to try and summon him."
"Tara. She did it for Tara. She was probably trying to free Tara from whatever fate The Lord of Dragons demanded as payment for helping us. Oh god, mom." Buffy cries.
Her tears stay behind her eyes but Xander can still see them. He puts his arm around his friend to comfort her. He tries not to think of Anya suffering in some Hell while he walks around still alive and healthy.
"That would make some sense but it still doesn't explain what happened to Willow." comments Giles as he tries to figure out this puzzle.
Xander lifts his head as a thought pops into his head. "What if she got overloaded?" he suggest.
"Explain." Giles replies intrigued where Xander is going with this.
Well, if you put an appliance on a line with too much current, the appliance over loads. Maybe that is what happened to Will." he explains.
"I see what you mean. If her mind reached out to his, his mind could have overwhelmed hers without him even noticing. That is brilliant!" Giles says.
"But what can we do about it?" Buffy asks.
"Well, we have to get Willow to tell us exactly what spell she tried. Hopefully, we can find a cure with that information." Giles says.
"She won't admit to knowing anything about her nightmares. It has been clear to Xander and me for awhile now that she is lying but we don't understand why. Honestly, I am starting to worry Dark Will is coming back." Buffy confesses.
"We don't know that." Xander adds
Willow drags herself awake to sound of voices just outside her room. Squinting to give her eyes time to adjust to light, she can just make out the shapes of Buffy, Xander and, oh crap, Giles. Realizing the cat is out of the bag now, Willow tries to figure out what to tell her friends.
Xander taps Buffy's elbow to signal her that Willow has woken up. Giving Giles his 'let's go for a walk' look, he heads down the corridor. As usual Giles is a bit slow to catch on but does follow Xander after only a second or two delay.
Buffy makes her way to her lover's side, sits down, flips some stray hair out of Willow's face and asks "So"
'Damn you' thinks Willow. She could handle an argument but Buffy's concerned acceptance is more than her defenses can handle. Steadying herself she takes a deep breath before saying "I have something I need to tell you."
"You can tell me anything." Buffy says as convincingly as she can all the while hoping and praying not to be reminded how wonderful Tara was and how little she compares to her.
"Xander and Giles should hear this too. How about we have breakfast in the library?" Willow asks.
"Sure. Pancakes?" Buffy replies.
"Yes, please." Willow says with her trademarked sweet/happy smile.
"Coming right up." Buffy promises as she gets up and heads for the kitchens.
Willow takes a quick shower more to help her sort out what to say than for hygiene reasons. Clean and presentable, she makes her way to the Library. As she expected, they are all waiting for her. Xander is looking out the large window, Giles is sipping some tea at the table, and Buffy is nervously hovering around the room. "Morning, guys" she throws out there to break the ice and announce her presence.
As Xander turns from the window, she is only able to catch a quick glimpse of his worry before he shoves it behind his leader mask. She is amazed at how much he has changed since school. Giles makes no effort to hide his concern but in his cool reserved British way so it easier to take. Buffy is her real problem. Buffy tries to hide her concern but fails miserably. Willow feels a moment of guilt because she knows Buffy has been worried for several weeks know. Honestly, she is surprised they hadn't called in Giles sooner.
After a few mouthfuls of pancakes with all eyes on her, she admits "I know what is causing my nightmares. I didn't want to tell you because I knew you would all be upset and worried. First, this is my decision. In no way are any of you responsible for this. I made this choice."
"I don't understand why you didn't say anything sooner. I thought you understood you can always tell me anything even about Tara?" Buffy interrupts.
Thrown a bit by Buffy's interruption, Willow wonders why Buffy thinks this has anything to do with Tara.
Before she can continue Giles interrupts with "We figured out you were trying to contact The Lord of Dragons. What matters now is not the why (gives Buffy a meaningful this is not the time look) but the what. Which spell did you use? What do you think went wrong?"
"Nothing went wrong Giles. I succeeded in summoning him. He came and we made a bargain," Willow states.
"Oh Will" Buffy mumbles. She turns away so no one sees her tears.
"What on Earth possessed you to take such reckless action without talking to us first?" Giles demands in his Watcher/teacher voice.
"A few months ago I had a vision in which I witnessed Judgment Day. We all tried to stop it but were unable to. As I felt myself dying, I watched you all die horribly. I had to find a way to stop my vision from coming to pass. Giles, you figured out what I was up to and tried to stop me. I (looks down) hurt you. I then used my magic to keep the rest of you out of my way but for some reason my spells didn't affect Xander. Xander tried to find and stop me but he was too late.
When The Lord of Dragons appeared, I traded myself to hold off Judgment Day for a few more centuries (read Sacrifice for more details). He remade me as his Avatar and I served him faithful for centuries. I watched you all grow old and I was ok with the price I paid. Except for you Giles, what I did to you broke you. I never forgave myself for that.
In the end my time as his Avatar turned out to just be a test. He used this test to prove to Heaven that mankind deserved more time. Heaven agreed. It was so incredible to meet an angel. It was like standing in happiness and love.
While I was still trying to grasp what happened, The Lord of Dragons brought me back here. He let me go. I still can't believe he did that. As a parting gift, he adjusted everyone's memories so you never knew what happened.
The problem is I still remember all that I did as his Avatar. When I am awake I can deal with the memories ok but when I am asleep my subconscious keeps trying to manifest my Avatar self."
Her friends all share a look. They simply don't know what to say. Willow sacrificed so much for them. Buffy chastises herself for her selfish feelings and is quick to wrap Will in a loving hug.
Willow waits for an eternity for her friends to speak. She wishes they would say something. She knows she just hit them with a lot so she does her best to be patient. She takes some comfort in Buffy's arms around her and she grabs onto to them for support.
Giles looks up first. He says with genuine concern "That was a foolish thing to do. We could have found another way but that no longer matters. All that matters is finding a way to help you. We could try to purge you of those memories but there is a real chance you may forget more than just those memories."
"I know. I have been researching for a way to "fix" this but I haven't found one. I went to the Oracle of Delphi to see if an aura reading would help but she took one look at me and started screaming. I was told she eventually recovered after I left but refuses to discuss what she saw.
I think we need to focus on containment for the moment. I am sure you have noticed how much strong my magic has become. I am certain this is a side effect of my experience. The magic almost seems eager to do my biding. I find myself casting spells that would have flattened me before without even breaking a sweat. (sheepishly) Sometimes I cast spells without even noticing." Willow explains.
Xander extends his hand across the table to add his support to Buffy's. She finds his gentle but firm squeeze of her hand reassuring. Xander has always been there for her. He saved her from the dark. With him, Giles, and Buffy she will find a way to get through this. She looks up into Buffy's eyes and gives her a warm smile. Buffy visibly relaxes at her smile. Clearly comforted by it.
Late that night, Buffy confronts Giles in the Library. "So you can help her right?" she declares.
"I don't know. I checked Willow's research as well as some sources of my own. I don't see a way to remove those memories without risking who Willow is." Giles states in his stuffy British way.
"She can spend the rest of her life in that cell! We have to help her." Buffy snaps.
"That cell is only for when she sleeps. It will help contain any unintentional flares of magic but it won't hold her for much longer at the rate her power is growing. If we don't find a way to help and soon we may have to" Giles is saying when Buffy cuts him off.
"I won't let that happen. Not to her." Buffy says in a defiant and slightly threatening tone.
"You may not want to accept this but she will soon become a threat to the whole world! Her dreams are starting to bleed into reality!" Giles replies in a louder tone than he wished too.
"Don't you dare lay that "It is to save the whole world" crap on me! You seem to forget I killed Angel when he was my whole world! I won't go through that again! If Willow drags us into hell I will gladly go with her!" shouts Buffy as she gets right into Giles' face.
"This is not helping Willow." Xander interjects.
Buffy turns from Giles and shatters an antique bust of some famous guy. It doesn't help much. Giles takes off and cleans his glasses which is his way of apologizing for his part while not having to say the words.
"We need a plan. Are there any experts of this Lord of Dragons we can talk to? He must have followers or something right?" poses Xander
"He is not well known here on Earth but some of the other realms worship him. Perhaps we can find something willing to speak with us. Let me call in a few old favors." Giles states.
"In the meantime, I will work with our magic department to see if we can find stronger containment shields." Xander says.
"What can I do?" Buffy asks. Her desperation to help her love is clear on her face.
"I have something you can do to help but you won't like it." Xander states.
"What? I will do anything." Buffy eagerly replies.
"There is only one other sorcerer I trust enough to help. You will need to go get him and bring him back here." Xander explains.
"Who?" Buffy inquires
"Dracula." Xander replies.
"You can be serious. He has an effect on you." Buffy stammers.
"I am. His effect on me is exactly why I need you to go. I can't afford to have his presence distracting me. You will have to convince him to help us." Xander states.
Giles rolls his eyes. He does not agree that bringing Dracula in is the right course of action but he can't think of a more experienced sorcerer. "It's risky" he points out.
"Not with Buffy watching him like a hawk. Besides I think he might like helping. Having spent the time I did with him, I found he is really lonely. I think he would like to be part of something. I even considered inviting him to join our little group but held off because of nature of our relationship. Will you do it?" finishes Xander.
"I will leave right away." Buffy says and she heads out of the Library.
Once she is gone, Xander addresses Giles "How long till you lose containment?"
"At her current rate Willow can last 3 maybe 4 days." Giles replies.
"I sent Buffy to look for Dracula in his winter castle because he is usually at the summer palace this time of year. Figure two days to the castle, one max to find out where the summer palace is hidden, and another one to reach it. Then two more back here. That should give us 5 days max to figure this out before Buffy gets back." Xander reasons.
"You are sending her on a wild goose chase. You don't think Dracula can help." remarks Giles as he realizes Xander's plan.
"If it comes to it, I will do what is necessary. I am the leader here that makes it my responsibility." Xander declares.
"You have changed." comments Giles.
The next day is lost to frustrating dead ends and the next is not much better. Giles feels each minute slip by. He pushes the staff hard, he calls in ever favor he has but still nothing. He looks at the clock and sees he has lost yet another day. He will not lose Willow. He has lost too many people close to him already. He won't lose another he swears.
Willow looks over at Xander as they make their way through another stack of ancient demon texts and she remembers high school. The memories bring a smile to her lips which makes it easier to ignore her current situation. The containment cell nearly failed completely last night. She knows it won't hold more than another day or two. She knows who Xander is now and what he will have to do when containment fails. She loves him for that and wishes he didn't have to bear that responsibility. Luckily, she found a way for him not to have too. The spell will turn her magic on itself and destroy her completely the moment she triggers it.
When Buffy reaches the castle of Dracula, she is surprised to find no one home. A quick search shows that Dracula has not been here in weeks. Desperately, she tries to find some clue as to where Dracula went. So engrossed in her search she almost misses the faint sound of footsteps. Tracking the noise to its source, she startles an old woman hauling a mop up the back kitchen stairs. "Who are you? Where is he?" Buffy demands.
The old woman drops her bucket but is not frozen by fear as most would be. She has worked for Dracula her whole life. Strange things just happen here. She recognizes the words of the young woman who startled her as English but regrettably she does speak a word of English. She thinks the woman must be looking for the master so she takes her to the kitchen refrigerator and points to the picture of the summer palace. The woman seems to understand as she grabs the picture and heads for the door. Glad to have helped, the old woman goes back to her cleaning.
Buffy recognizes the picture as the place where she last rescued Xander. She knows exactly where it is located. She does find it slightly odd that Xander didn't send her there first but maybe he thought Dracula had abandoned it since they knew its location. Determined to find him so he can help Will, Buffy jumps back in her transport plane and orders the pilot to punch it.
"Excellent!" shouts Giles as he puts down the phone. "I have a lead on some worshippers who may be able to help us. We need to travel to the Dulmon dimension but I am certain I have a spell book around here somewhere with the proper ritual." continues Giles.
"No need. I know it." Willow says and opens a portal with a wave of her hand. The look shared by Xander and Giles lets her know she made a mistake. She should not be able to open a portal so easily. Time is growing short.
Ignoring the chill going down his spine at his friend's casual display of power, Xander states "Do we need to take anything to bribe this thing with?"
"Good point, Xander. I have some trinkets that should serve our purpose." Giles replies.
Having gathered some trinkets to trade, the friends enter the portal. The world they find themselves on is not so different than one of Earth's deserts. The temple before them is unlike anything on Earth. It is simply amazing. The friends are so lost in admiring the temple that they fail to see the reptilian humanoid in priestly robes approach them. It greets them in a language that has never been spoken on Earth but Giles had the foresight to cast a translation spell on them. The spell converts any language into one they can understand. It is far from a perfect spell but at least they will get the basic ideas of whatever is said. The spell translates his words into "Welcome to his temple. I am Tomanos, a humble follower of his path."
"I am Giles of England. This is Xander of California and
"Great one!" exclaims the priest as he bows his head upon getting a look at Willow. "Please forgive this humble priest for not recognizing you in your Earthly form. The high priest will of course be honored to grant whatever you desire." Continues the priest and he quickly heads for the temple.
With both of them looking at her, all Willow can do is blush. She didn't expect this sort of reception. Hoping that answers lie inside, she follows the priest by walking between Xander and Giles. After exchanging a glance of "What the heck was all that about", they follow.
Inside priests can be seen running everywhere. They are all clearly excited by Willow's presence. Other beings who appear to be visitors and not priests point and even snap pictures. The inside of the temple is even more impressive than the exterior. Murals etched in stone, glass, and something Xander can't identify but looks cool cover the walls and ceiling. A massive statue of The Lord of Dragons stands at the far end of the temple just behind what can only be the main alter. What is just in front of this statue cause Willow to blush even redder and leaves Giles and Xander speechless. This statue is smaller than The Lord of Dragons but still massive and it depicts an idealized version of Willow. Even though it is only a statue carved out of stone, the beauty of this figure nearly overwhelms Giles' and Xander's senses. They both feel an urge to fall down at this beauty's feet and beg her to destroy them. It is wonderful, terrifying, and unforgettable.
In the several minutes it takes Giles and then Xander to get a hold of themselves, Willow notices an elder lizard man slowly approaching with the priest that initially greeted them. The older priest is trying to calm the younger one who can barely contain himself.
"Greetings. You have questions I am sure. Perhaps we can retire to my study to talk?" suggests the elderly lizard man.
The younger priest nearly faints at the casual and friendly way his master greets the Avatar of their god. How can he show such disrespect? wonders the young priest.
Sensing his young companion's discomfort, the elderly priests laughs softly to himself and then says "His Lordship has no use for sheep who bow and scrap at his feet. Neither does his Avatar. You have great potential Tomanos but you need more backbone. If his Lordship himself appeared here as he has in the past, he would get no different greeting and he would thank me. Think on this while I speak with our guests."
"Yes, master." replies the mortified young priests. He does not know how he will ever live with his shame for making such a fool of himself. Anger boils underneath his shame, pointing out the old fool should show him more courtesy than to lecture him in front of others even the Avatar.
Pleased to sense some anger under his pupil's humble exterior, he turns and heads for his study trusting that his visitors will follow him.
The humans stand awkwardly as the elderly priest chastises the younger. Willow almost offers the young priest some words of encouragement but refrains as she does not understand the dynamics of the situation. When the elderly priest turns and starts walking away, they follow.
In the Master's study, Giles, Xander, and Willow take seats which are surprisingly comfortable considering there is a section missing from the chair's back which must be there to allow for the lizard men's tails. The elderly priest sits on the other side of a small table. He doesn't speak at first. He seems to be basking in the sun coming through the window next to his chair.
Finally, he fills the painful silence with "The visions have grown stronger. Haven't they."
"I am confused. How do you even know who I am? I thought everything I experienced wasn't real." wonders Willow.
"To answer your question it was and it wasn't. I know that is not a satisfying answer but his lordship never believed in easy answers. As I am trying to get through my pupil's thick head, his lordship expects us to work for our answers. To my people you have always been his Avatar. For centuries, you were considered the darker aspect of his lordship. Why else would you look so hideous if you were not twisted by darkness? It was not till the texts of your journey were found that we learned the truth. You see the key to his beliefs is the idea of self responsibility. He does not want followers but companions. Anyone who cannot think for themselves is of no use to his lordship. You are one of his greatest examples. Your tale, which I would love to hear from you directly if at all possible sometime, shows us that all choices have consequences and that sometimes you have to sacrifice what you want for what is right. It is a wonderful lesson for our youth. Sadly, it confuses most of them at first."
"So it was all real?" Willow asks trying to grasp what the elderly priest is explaining.
"For us, yes, for you, no. Understand?" explains the priest.
Raising hand like he was still in school, Xander admits "I don't."
"It really isn't that hard to grasp. Willow became the Avatar for this dimension but in ours she was still just Willow. Understanding, however, still does not help us with her problem." Giles explains.
"What troubles the Avatar?" the priest asks with almost fatherly concern.
"Well, when I sleep my subconscious tries to relive or recreate my experiences as the Avatar which is causing my magical powers to damage the world around me. It is at the point where I am becoming a threat to my friends. I am hoping you might be able to help me somehow." Willow pleads.
"Interesting. Our lordship forgets how fragile we simple creatures of flesh and blood are. We will ask him to help you." The elderly priest suggests.
"In our world, summoning him is dangerous and often deadly." comments Giles.
The priest laughs which is an odd but not unpleasant coming from his mouth. "It is a good thing you came to me then. His lordship and I are old friends. He only demands I listen to his stories once again." the priest tells them. He then stands and motions for them to follow him into another part of the temple.
Set in the center of this new room is a table next to a throne. On the table is a goblet filled with a liquid which Willow recognizes. "Oh, dracma." she squeals as she runs over and downs the drink. Surprised by her actions, she is mortified that she has just disgraced this nice priest's most sacred area. Giles is giving her his best "bad student" glare. Xander is just plain surprised. He cannot remember a time when Willow did anything so impulsive.
The priest's reaction is completely unexpected. At first they don't recognize the noise he is making. Coming from his throat, it sounds almost like a roar but his body language quickly conveys he is belly laughing. He looks at a mortified and very confused Willow to say "There is no doubt you are his Avatar. No one else could stomach that stuff."
The priest takes several different items from around the room and approaches a circle carved into the floor with an intricate pattern set into it. He sits back on his tail as he speaks "Your humble companion on the path asks for your wisdom." He then waits.
As the silence builds in the room, Willow can feel the magic building as well. Something is coming of that she is certain.
A flash of light announces the arrival of something else. It is his lordship himself. He addresses the elderly priest with "My friend, I have not heard such laughter from you in centuries. What causes you such humor?"
As soon as he appears, Willow manifests her avatar form. She is overwhelmed by the change in perspective and desperately struggles to hang onto her human self. Giles and Xander fall to her feet their human minds not able to resist her new form.
Horrified at what just happened to her friends, she tries to fight the Avatar self trying to dominate her mind. She manages to hold onto her mind but is unable to control her body.
Clearly pleased The Lord of Dragons looks to her as he says "Avatar, you have returned. Have you tired of your humanity?"
"No. (Avatar self) My lord, I live to serve (Willow self) No, I need your help" Willow says as she struggles with her Avatar self.
"Her human self is being overwhelmed by her Avatar self. The realities are bleeding together." explains the elderly priest.
The Lord of Dragons looks closely at Willow and sees the human self within the Avatar body. Extending his power he pulls her to the surface which changes her back to her human form.
She drops to her knees visibly weakened by her ordeal. "Thank you." she stammers as her mind reels.
Free of her spell, Giles and Xander slowly regain their wits. They will never look at Willow the same way again. Xander shivers at what he would have done for her.
"Thank you your lordship. I had arranged a goblet of dracma for you but your Avatar was most thirsty." the elderly priest says to his lord.
"This is the form you will wear from this day forward in your reality. I have improved it to handle the power at your command. You may return to your realm now." The Lord of Dragons informs Willow.
Willow, Xander, and Giles finds themselves back in the library. The door swings open as Buffy charges in. "There you are!" she shouts as she runs up and punches Xander in the face. As Xander lies holding a clearly broken noise, Buffy continues "How dare you pull that on me! You were going to "
Willow cuts off her rant by placing her finger on Buffy's lips and softly saying "Hush. It is ok now."
"He was going to" Buffy tries to continue while glaring at Xander.
"so you didn't have to." Willow finished for her.
Buffy looks at Willow with tears in her eyes as she says "I don't think I could have."
"You would have because you are a hero. That is part of the reason I love you so much. You always do what is necessary." Willow replies while caressing Buffy's cheek with her hand.
"Sorry." Buffy says to Xander as she helps him to his feet.
"Its ok" he replies sounding very odd because of the broken noise.
"Let me help with that." Willow offers as she runs her hand down his nose. When she removes her hand, his nose is no longer broken.
"We should talk about all this." Giles says in his watcher knows best voice.
"We should but not now. I have some more magic to work" Willow promises as she pulls a blushing Buffy out of the room.
Elsewhere
The Lord of Dragons looks down fondly on his Avatar. He knows it will take a century but she will return to him. For an eternal being a century suddenly seems like a very long time. Sighing he turns his attention to other things.
14