If we had just been faster. If I hadn't abandoned them. If we had got there first. If. That's all I can think. It was our fault he had died... If we had gotten this Horcrux first, then we wouldn't be there, and then You-Know-Who wouldn't have been there with his nasty followers. If Hermione and I hadn't kept on saying that You-Know-Who wouldn't have been stupid enough to put a piece of his soul right next to Dumbledore. If only we had listened to Harry, and gotten to Hogwarts before He realized that we were after the Horcruxes. Then the Final Battle wouldn't have happened, and Fred wouldn't have been killed, and we wouldn't all be mourning. My fault. All my fault.
Or if I hadn't abandoned them. If I had stayed, maybe they wouldn't have spent so much time moping. Or maybe they would have had a revelation at something I said. Or maybe they wouldn't be all depressed. But who am I kidding? I didn't think I was worth that much to them. I wasn't worth that much to anybody. Who was I, anyway? Harry Potter's friend? The Boy Who Lived's sidekick? The Chosen One's accompaniment? His entourage? Harry didn't think about it that way. I know he didn't. But the rest of them did, and it irked me. Or if they didn't even bother to think about me being Harry's friend. The other Weasley. Another Weasley. I was nobody. Even Ginny was better than I was, being the first Weasley girl. The only Weasley girl. And then later, becoming the Chosen One's Chosen One.
I was jealous. I know that. So I left. And we lost time. And if I hadn't left, then we would have had time before he realized we were after the Horcruxes, and the Final Battle wouldn't have happened, and Fred would still be alive.
I wasn't being reasonable, I know that. It wasn't completely my fault, I know that. I'm being a stuckup prick by saying that I was that important, I know that. But I don't can't feel this empty without doing something wrong, right? When somebody that close to you dies, you must have done something horrible, right?
This must be my fault. Otherwise, I wouldn't be feeling this awful.