Authors Note: A little crazy fic idea that was sparked by a pic of Brosnan Bond's M vs Craig Bond's M, and thus this fic was born.
Possible spoilers for all of DenchM Bond movies.
Usual disclaimers apply :)
Italics= thoughts
Hope you enjoy :)
M was in her office finishing off paper work on the latest damages that Bond had managed to create on his latest mission. M let out an annoyed sigh 'I swear Bond just does this to piss me off.'
She looked at the clock she had hanging on her office wall, she let out another sigh and realised she had been doing paperwork for the last five hours. She glanced back down at the folder she had in her hand, and saw that once again Bond had not returned any of the gadgets to Q branch, holding back from punching something or rather someone. She picked up her pen and continued with the task. She was nearly done with the file she was on when her phone started to ring.
"Oh for gods sake!" she threw down her pen and picked up the phone.
"Hello." she said with much restraint as she could, so as not to shout at the person who decided to phone her at this unseemly hour.
"M….it's Q." M thought he sounded quite out of breath and she was praying it had nothing to do with 007 again.
"What is it Q?" He must have sensed that she was losing patience from the tone in her voice, so he hurried on as fast as he could.
"I need you to come down to Q branch, there's something here that I think you should see." He replied to her nervously.
"What an earth can possibly be so important that it can't wait till tomorrow?" M said finally losing her patience.
She had no time for Q's antics anymore than Bond's inability to complete a mission without raking up damages. All she wanted was to go home, have a relaxing bath, and a decent sleep.
Ever since her husband passed away she found herself staying later at the office, so she would not have to face the prospect of an empty house. She shook her head to clear away those thoughts, and noticed that Q had not replied to her question.
"Q, are you still there?"
She pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. She could feel the start of a headache coming on. 'This is all I need.'
"What? Yes, I'm still here. Look could you please just come down to Q branch it will be easier to explain." Q told her in a desperate tone.
M took a few deep breaths to keep her anger in check.
"Fine, and Q it had bloody well better be important." Q did not get a chance to reply as M threw down the receiver cutting him off.
She got up from behind her desk and started to make her way down to Q Branch. When she finally made it to her destination, she saw that she was not the only one that been summoned.
M walked towards where Bond and Q were standing. They both turned around when they heard her approach.
"What the bloody hell is this all about?" M looked straight at Q demanding an explanation.
"And what an earth are you doing here Bond?"
"Ah that would my doing Ma'm."
M turned to him with a raised eyebrow. "Care to elaborate?"
"Do you remember a while back we found those movies, that seemed to focus on our job, and the characters were similar to all of us?"
M closed her eyes, how could she forget those bloody movies. Who ever made them ought to have been shot. Especially that last one, she had seen better special effects in children's drawings.
"I vaguely recall them, if they have gone missing, good riddance."
Bond gave her a smirk "Come on M, they weren't all that bad. Besides, your counterpart was enthralling, when she walked over from the window and bent over to get the bourbon and glasses, her arse looked amazing, I would be her sexist misogynist dinosaur any day."
"Oh really, well maybe you should go and work for her then Bond! See how she copes with bloody two of you!"
"Are you jealous?" Bond raised an eyebrow at her outburst.
"Why would I be jealous?" Her voice went higher than normal at that accusation. If he wanted to ogle some downgraded version of her, he was welcome too.
"I think you are." He leaned closer to her, so Q would not hear what he was saying.
"Don't worry M, I still think your arse and legs look amazing, as well as your… other assets." He leaned back and looked to her chest with a smirk.
She could smell his cologne and she lost where she was for a few moments, it was only when he pulled back did she finally register what he had said.
"Bond if you ever speak to me like that again I will have you shot and sacked for sexual harassment! Do I make myself clear?"
"Crystal." He told her still looking at her chest.
"That means taking your bloody eyes off my chest!"
Q stood there uncomfortable with the exchange between them both. He often wondered if there was more between those two. He would never ask if he valued his life. Not that would matter when she finds out what was waiting in the next room.
M turned to Q, noticing how uncomfortable he was looking.
"Show us what you brought us here for Q so we can all go home!"
Q sighed; 'she was not going to like this'. He nodded and motioned the two of them to follow him.
They made their way through the doors, only for Bond and M to come to face to face with the very people they were just discussing.
"What the hell?" Bond exclaimed looking at the alternate version him.
M ignored Bond's outburst, and continued to stare at the carbon copy of herself.
"Q you had better have a bloody good explanation for all of this!"
An hour earlier, parallel world
"You can't be serious in watching this movie again 007? We both know the only reason you watch it is so you can look at that Vesper woman!"
"There is that, and the fact that the onscreen you wears low cut blouses, that show of her cleavage. Then there was that outfit she wears in the Bahamas', which shows off her curves nicely."
"It's unprofessional if you ask me; I would never wear blouses or outfits like that!"
She turned to the man beside her and noticed he was not listening. She looked to the screen and noticed that the other version of her was walking out of parliament cleavage bouncing as she walked.
"Would you stop looking at her like that? It's unnerving," She folded her arms over her chest, she felt as if it were her he was looking at. She guessed in a weird way it was.
Once the scene was finished, he turned back to her. "You can't talk, I see the way you check out the other Bond when he comes out the water with nothing but those blue swim trunks."
"I do not, I am merely checking to see if he is up to standard for the job at hand." She told him indignant of what he was saying.
"Keep telling yourself that M."
M let out a huff and turned back to the screen. She wasn't keen on these movies, they made her look like she had more than a working relationship with Bond and vice versa, if that corridor scene in the second movie was anything to go by, she swore she could have cut the sexual tension with a knife.
The thought of her and Bond in a relationship did not sit well with her, it made her feel uncomfortable probably due to the fact that she was a mother and had a husband of her own. This other M did not appear to have any children and her husband disappeared after the first movie. She assumed he had died. Still the idea of her and Bond in a relationship was laughable to say the least.
The both continued to watch the movie in silence, with Bond moving closer to the screen whenever a woman came on. M rolled her eyes 'typical man'. That did not stop her from looking at the other Bond's chest when he came out the water. 'He does have a nice body on him'. Her eyes went further down to the front of his trunks. 'Bet he is big as well.' She bit her lip, while staring. 'They don't call me the evil queen of numbers for nothing'.
She came out from her thoughts when she saw smoke coming from the screen.
"007, what have you done?"
"For once this isn't my doing." He got up and walked over to the screen, M following closely behind.
The smoke started to become thicker. Bond grabbed M's arm and started to push her back, trying to get them both far away as possible. They started to cough as they found it harder to breathe. The screen started to emit a loud noise, which caused Bond to turn around to see what was happening. Through the smoke, he saw sparks and he knew it was going to blow.
Not wasting any time, he pulled M close and pushed them both to the ground, with her underneath him so he could shield her from the blast. A few seconds later, there was a loud bang as the screen exploded, causing the glass to fly in all directions. As soon as it happened, it was gone.
Bond was confused. He looked up and noticed they were not in M's office, but instead in a large white room with computers.
"Are you alright?"
"I would be better if you could get off me 007!"
He cautiously got up, and then helped M from the floor.
"Where the hell are we?" She asked after dusting off her clothes.
"Oh shit."
They both turned to the sound of the voice and noticed a young man in his late twenty's with glasses and black shaggy hair.
"Who are you? And where the hell are we?"
"I'm Q, and you're in MI6, Q branch to be exact."
"You must be joking! You're too young to be Q, and if this is Q branch where are all the gadgets?" Bond could not believe what he was hearing.
"We are not in the habit of leaving them out, for classified reasons. I better contact M and let her know the situation. She is going to kill me."
"Wait, did you say M? She's M," Bond pointed to the small woman beside him.
"I know that 007, I meant my M." Q told him as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
The other M step forward, "What do you mean your M? Where the hell are we?"
"Q branch like I said, except you don't exist, although I doubt that theory right now. I was watching a movie that had you both in it on a new gadget I was working on. I accidently spilt coffee over it, and that was when you two appeared."
M rubbed her temples to prevent a headache she could feel coming on, where as Bond did not seem fazed by what was happening, instead he was eager to see what the M here was like.
"I had best get this call over with; you two stay here and don't touch anything." He aimed the last part to Bond.
They watched him walk away before M turned to Bond.
"If he thinks we are just movie versions of the people here that means that the people in the movies we have are actually real in this place and time."
"So what are you saying? Q's movie player turned into a time machine that can transport people from different worlds?"
Bond had heard some crazy theories in his life as an agent but this one topped them all.
"That's exactly what I'm saying."
They both watched Q on the phone with 'his M', the call did not last long and if his face was anything to go by, they assumed he just got a bollocking.
"See some things haven't changed then." Bond sarcastically said turning to M.
She gave him a cold glare; if looks could kill, he would be a dead man.
"Both of you don't move."
They turned to look at him and watched as he walked away and out the door, leaving the two of them alone.
"Well this is brilliant, stuck in an alternate world. I can't think of a better way to spend the rest of my day!" M told him sarcastically while pacing around the room, looking at the various items that were there.
She stopped where she was and motioned Bond to her. Once he was next to her, they could hear voices outside the door. When the voices stopped, they took a step back as the door opened and in stepped Q. When he moved away, the two of them could not believe their eyes. There were differences between himself and the other Bond that just entered, but the two M's were identical.
The two of them looked as confused as they felt, it was only when the new M asked Q what had happened, they knew their troubles were just about to begin.