Wheee! My first Hobbit fic! I'm so excited. This isnt a serius fic its for fun and a laugh. I hope you all enjoy! and laugh :D

I fixed the names

It was a sunny cool day in Rivendell. There were only a few clouds out, birds flying overhead chirping the ones on the ground leaving little white droppings in their wake on the perfect green grass. It was nice for those who preferred the outdoors. But for the Dwarves, it was too bright, too open, and the air far too fresh.

Kili was out in the open field in Rivendell playing with his bow, hitting a nearby tree. Fili was standing by another tree watching his little brother while smoking his pipe, sending up rings of smoke into the air. He really wanted to explore more of the darker lower levels of Elrond's home, that was closer to his home. Fili was thinking of what had happened before they came outside he zoned off in his flashback.

Before they came outside they were looking around Elrond's kingdom. They were laughing and running around after having to eat the nasty greens the elves offered them. No meat, it's no wonder they were so skinny the brothers thought as they looked at the paintings on the walls. Kili walked backwards to get a better look at one of the larger paintings and backed up into a big vase.

Fili's eyes went wide and reached for the yellow vase trying to catch it before it fell to the hard stone floor. The tip of his fingers brushed against it and ending up making it fall harder to its destruction. The poor yellow vase shattered to what seemed to be a million pieces.

"Oops." Kili said looking down at what he had caused. "What should we do?"

"Hide it?" Fili would hate to see his brother get yelled at by an angry elf for something that was an accident.

"Good idea brother." Kili kneeled down and started to pick up some of the pieces and. "Where we goanna hide it?" Looking to his elder brother for advice.

Fili looked around seeing what appeared to be a closet. "There." He whispered while picking up some of the larger pieces and him and Kili walked over to the door.

Fili opened the door and he walked in Kili following. They got about a foot in the door when they heard a scream. They looked up eyes wide as saucers. "Oh my."

Inside the room were half a dozen elf women sitting in a huge round bathtub. "Get out!" One of them yelled.

"We are so sorry!" Fili said backing up with his brother and shutting the door. "We should go." His face was bright red matching his brothers cherry cheeks. That wasn't the other thing. The elves didn't want him and Kili playing inside. It wasn't their fault the Elves didn't make their furniture and decorations more sturdy. They just fell apart from looking at them. Well maybe not, but a little bump or a light toss and they broke.

Fili flinched as he snapped out of his flashback hearing some voices.

Off in the distance behind his brother he could see what appeared to be elves walking toward them. One looked a lot shorter than the others.

"Kili." Fili walked over to his brother as Kili turned to look at him.

"Yeah?"

"Look." Fili pointed.

Kili looked to where his brother was looking. "Is that Thorin?" He thought he saw his uncle walking with elves. He was walking next to Lord Elrond, and talking. But that can't be, he thought as he looked at Fili. "Why is he walking with the enemy? A new found love for them maybe?"

"Don't say that Kili." He gave his brother a light smack on his arm. "Maybe there's danger."

Kili looked around the large space but they were the only ones out there besides the green trees and three elves walking toward them.

As they got closer they could see the look on their uncle's face. He looked beyond mad. He was with two blond elves and Elrond. One of the blond ones had an archery set with him.

"Fili, Kili! Come here…now!" Thorin called to them.

"Something wrong uncle?" Fili was starting to worry as he approached him.

"Yea, there is! This filthy elf thinks his son is the best archer in the world!"

The older blond elf gave Thorin a dirty look. "I am not filthy, you dirty dwarf!"

Thorin stepped over to him and pointed a finger up at him. "You're really one to insult me when you're a traitor! You are a low ugly elf!"

Kili laughed as he walked up and stopped at Thorin's side. "And your eyebrows are way too big and bushy." He started to laugh but stopped when he got the silent look from Thorin.

Elrond raised his hand up to silence him. "Thranduil, Thorin, do not fight. You both agreed to a contest and a contest will happen." Elrond looked almost like he was smirking.

"What contest?" Fili finely made joined in the conversation.

"Thorin and Thranduil agreed that the two young archers will have an archery contest to see who the better archer is."

Thranduil put a hand on his sons' shoulder. "Legolas is the best archer in the world. There should be no contest! But Thorin seems to think his small nephew is the better one. And I can tell you from seeing him up close that he is not that good." He looked Kili up and down as he insulted him.

"And how would you know such a thing!?" Kili got offensive.

Thorin stood in front of him giving the tall elf a death glare. "We shall see."

"At least Legolas doesn't hurt the trees for his own pleasure. I could hear that tree crying out from afar. Inconsiderate dwarf."

Fili gives the elf with the dark eyebrows a dirty look. "How dare you keep insulting my brother. You dog!"

"Dog?" Thranduil let out a laugh about to say something else. "Elrond, how do you put up with them? The smell, I'm having trouble not losing my way bread."

"Enough. Set up where you two are going to start at." Elrond was getting tired of watching the two kings fight. "Oh, and here comes my sons with the targets." He smiled proudly.

Elrond's sons Elladan and Elrohir walked up with cheery smiles. They looked much like their father, except softer expressions, with their mother's bright blue eyes. They had put the targets up and walked over to the others to watch the show. Elrohir put his hand on Legolas' shoulder. "This will be easy for you. I put my coins on you."

Elladan looked at the Dwarf. "Then I shall put mine on the little one. Let's all make wagers."

Thanks for reading. Please review and vote. Who do you want to win Legolas or Killi? The next chapter will be for yall to choose.