Her whole life everything has revolved around perfection. Perfect family, perfect (fake) smiles, perfect grades~
from staying up all night until the sun comes up and the days merge into one, only distinguishable by the ever dwindling bottles of 'caffeine pills' that litter the floor.
She sometimes wonders when everything got so damn fucked up. Was it when Ali left, when she slept with sisters boyfriends
plural because she never learns
Or has she always been like this? Has her whole life been leading up to failure, the ultimate betrayal?
She's starting to doubt who she is.
Doubting her mind though, is worse. The mind she's worked so hard to perfect, the one thing that distinguishes her from being just another rich girl. Before all this, before Alison and A and Maya and Wilden and CeCe (the list is never ending, a constant reminder of those she's hurt along the way, or those who've hurt her.
Knowing Aria's name will be added soon kills her.)
Before then, she craved the attention- now, her mind is failing her, reliant on pills to keep the ideas flowing. However many A+'s she receives, A is always one step ahead, driving her round and round in circles, devising mazes that she can't find the exit of.
trapped trapped trapped in her head
There's no delight in the neat rows of A grades that litter her report card now because how does she know if they're real? Is A just messing with her?
how many pills will she have to take to get the same result next week? And the week after?
and next year?
how has she gotten here? Sunk so low into the dirt, no better than the team who torture her?
because she gave them the ammunition to fire the bullets that paralysed her.