WeissKreuz – Observation
Fandom: WeissKreuz
Rating: M/NC-15
Warnings: references to male male affection and sex
Summary: Aya jealous, Yohji off, Schuldig mad, Crawford watchful... nothing new, right? How about a pact with the devil to get what you want? Is the devil a relative entity? A tangle of biting jealousy, possessiveness, bids for independency... which one will win out?
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Yohji and Schuldig
/Watching. I'm watching, all the time. It's a habit more than anything, picked up when I was really little…/
Way to go, Kudoh, really, all sappy and sentimental, are we now…
/Shut it, Schuldig. Okay then, let's try again. I was left to my own devices too often, for too long, and to combat mortal boredom…/
Yeah, I get it, can you come to the point now, my head's killing me.
/So I learned to observe. Things, people, myself… anything, really, and it made my little world really big./
I am NOT a nursery kid. I hate it when you talk to me like that. It reminds me of Brad, to hell with him.
/Tell him to screw you more often./
Yeah, I wish. Now, get on with it, will you?
/Patience, Mastermind, patience. Observation requires precision and patience, didn't you know that? Now, spell PATIENCE – P, A – no, don't do that – please, if you don't take that knife off my throat, you'll never know the end of my story./
You mean, that blurb you're coming up with. Nagi's got this habit of spelling every little shit when he's cranked up and ready to blow a fuse.
/I gathered that./
How?
/From listening. While I was waiting for you idiot to climb out of the kitchen window, got all scratched up by those stupid shrubs, and caught by Aya to top it all because your jealous boss just had to tip him off./
Yeah, right. Is not my fault this maniac you fuck doesn't let you out of his sight.
/I stick to my version – Oracle blabbed. Aren't you hungry? Sea air always makes me hungry./
Don't try and distract me. Don't knock Crawford. There's a burger joint over there, by the sliproad. I'm damn well ravenous.
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/If you eat any more, you'll burst. Here, your tummy's bulging already./
I like chips. Now you wanna finish your portion, or can I have it?
/You're skinny, you need it, but not all at once… just take your time, I don't wanna wipe up your puke./
Know what?
/Your place. Aya's gonna skewer us both if he gets ideas, not to mention what Crawford has in mind for my balls – I don't wanna sing in a girl's choir./
You'd look pretty.
/Schuldig, you're an idiot./
Yeah, yeah… what about that burger you're letting get cold?
/Have it./
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Crawford and Aya
/I hate that. Standing here, with Crawford of all people, behind the corner of a junk food kiosk to watch Kudoh the idiot and this redhaired bastard eating chips on the beach. That blond slut must have infected me with his idiocy./
Goddamn you, Schuldig, when you get home, we'll have words…
/What the hell are they to one another? For all the world, they look like best mates. I so hate that. I hate him for it. Leading me by the nose for so long – man, I've been so stupid./
…and it will end as always, won't it, with you in bed and me on top…
/To fall for those pretty green eyes, this soft smile of his… all those sweet words – he's good at words, he's good at fucking. He's better at killing and doesn't like it when I remind him of our purpose./
…screwing you silly…
/Why is Crawford grinning now? To hell with him, with all of them. That's where they belong, and if Omi weren't so goddamn stubborn, I'd have wasted them, psychos or not. And I'd have Kudoh./
…washing this idiot out of your guts and your mind…
/Mine. He said he was mine. He is a liar, I knew that before I fell. I was weak. He is nothing but a fuckdoll and a killer for hire. He stinks of tobacco and cheap perfume when he gets home from wherever he spent another night out, like some bitch in heat./
…until I can see it in your eyes…
/Whatever. It is all his fault, but he won't get out of this the easy way. I'll hold him to his word, no matter what./
…that you're back with me…
/And I will even team up with my enemy. Sell myself. Never mind. No, never mind, never think about it. I'm sick of thinking about it, sick of having to reel you back in. I can't tell you that. But I have to live with my lies and truths, don't I… and the truth is I want you back. Into my heart. My soul. My bed./
…where you belong.
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Yohji and Schuldig
What am I to you?
/Just eat, Schuldig. Eat 'cos it shuts you up, and right now I'd like to listen to the sea./
I wanna know. Go on, or are you afraid?
/I said shut it. I don't wanna talk now./
Fuckbuddy? Mate? Nuisance?
/Yeah, a bit of everything perhaps. Happy? Just shut the hell up now, or I'll go./
You can't be my friend. Far is my friend. You're not my lover, that would be Brad's job. And I got Nagi for a lil' bro, sorta… it's all covered, from all angles, so what is it…
/Gods, you're giving me a damn headache./
I like sharing. Are you my enemy? I don't really give a toss about all that spatting about between our bosses. They quarrel, we earn. That's all. Do I trust you? No. Do I hate you? No. Do I wanna murder you? Sometimes. Do I wanna fuck you?
/I get the idea./
All the time.
/Stop grinning. Lust, dickhead. It's called lust, and there's nothing to it. You get hot, you screw, and hey presto, you feel better until your next hardon./
Yeah.
/Just lust./
Yeah. But there's one more thing…
/Let's go now. I'm cold./
…do I like you?
/It's starting to piss. That's all I need now/
Hey, where are you going? To hell with you, Kudoh, stop running!
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Crawford and Aya
/And now what is going on? Ah, they have a spat. Just makes me want to puke. Leggy, pretty, dumb blond stalking off fairly swiftly, with this bastard scrambling after him like mad…/
…going through the motions then, are we, Schuldig?
/…for all the world, this looks like some stupid lovers' spat./
Denial, yes? He's denying you. When will you learn? Of course he'd lie to you. He's afraid of the truth, even if it's prodding at him, tugging at his eyelids to open those pretty green eyes of his and see…
/You just come home. Come home, Kudoh, and I'll show you…/
…that he likes you way too much for his own good. Or for the wellbeing of this redhaired prick who right now is seething by my side. Kudoh likes you, but you are mine because he has no idea how to handle you full blast…
/…how I think about this whole shitty affair…/
…he does not even know what that means because you're doing your damnedst to hold yourself back for him. He does not know you when you go off the rails and spend half a night screaming because your nightmares swallow you whole. When you get high on something and lose your mind in the mass of colours and sounds and smells that keep pouring into it all the time…
/…and you'll lie again and promise you'll end it, and that there's nothing anyway…/
…he cannot calm you. He is unable to contain this flood for you. You need me. You know it, and it drives you nuts because you want to be free. You've always been independent, that's why they did this to you, and now you need…
/Love. You'll tell me another lie, you'll act it out until we're both exhausted, with you pleading for forgiveness again…/
…something to hold you in. Not pity. Nothing soft. We're not receptive to soft things. You need a hard hand to guide and hold, a hard fuck to keep you busy that way, a hard lead to hold you on track in this world so you can use your energy to keep your mind together. He is too soft for you. Too kind, beneath all those layers of dirt on his mind…
/…and I'll yield. I know I will, and it makes me angry, almost to tears. And you're going to look at me with those shiny, soft green eyes that never fail to melt me, and I know I'm lost. So awfully lost…/
But you know that, too. Kindness won't do us any good. Illusions are harmful. Hurtful. We do not need that kind of distraction. That's why you'll come back to me. And should you forget, I will remind you sure enough. I keep what's mine. My team. My money. My freedom. My fuckboy. My mind.
/…in you. And you refuse to hold me even when you cling to me, with arms and legs wrapped around me…/
All mine.
/You are not mine./
xxx
The End