Zuko is the boss of bosses
Zhao: Where's your honor now Zuko?
Zuko: I believe I left it between your mother's legs….
Sokka: OH SHIT… BITCH GOT BURNED… GET IT BECAUSE ZUKO IS A FIREBENDER! HA…. SOKKA YOU ARE HILARIOUS….
Sokka Ships Zutara
Bryke,
I have a proposal for you. As you can see my proposal is Zutara, and no, I am not on cactus juice. But, OMG it would be so kewl if my sister boned the fire prince 'cause then they could be all *steam* and I can be all *flying kick-a-pow* and Zuko could be my Broho and then we can go do man things together like hunt and eat meat and shit. I mean, guys, Aang is a monk. And I want to be Uncle Sokka one day…
Wait, what do you mean Aang and Katara have a child. The hell is a Korra? But, I thought Monks were asexual or something…. What the HELL DO YOU MEAN THEY KISSED IN A CAVE. IN THE DARK! No, this is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM WHEN KATARA AND ZUKO WERE ALONE IN A CAVE. THAT ARROWED MOTHER- THE CAVE OF TWO LOVERS! IT WAS CALLED THE CAVE OF TWO LOVERS. THE STORY IS ABOUT TWO PEOPLE FUCKING IN A CAVE IN THE DARK! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU NAME IT THAT IF IT WASN'T TRUE!
Katara kissed Aang. Katara KISSED Aang! Isn't that illegal! My sister is a pedophile…. No, seriously explain to me how that isn't creepy. So… Katara was Aang's teacher, what does that have to do with anything? HOT FOR TEACHER! HOT FOR TEACHER? SO KATARA WAS LIVING OUT SOME SICK PERV FANTASY OF GETTING IT ON WITH HER STUDENT? No… So then why did Katara kiss Aang in the Earth Kingdom but then was all eww when he did it the other times….?
(….)
I deserve an answer. No, don't answer with the "she was conflicted" crap. Yue was conflicted and I still joined the Mile High Club… good times…. good times. So riddle me this, what made so Katara un-conflicted eh? Maybe it was the fact that you realized that Aang deserves a TROPHY for NOT KILLING THE FIRELORD. Zuko would have killed the shit out of the Firelord. He would've been like SHAZAM LIGHTNING BARRAGE BITCH and the Ozai would've been like AAH MY FACE AHHH DYING.…. and Zuko would've been like KARMA'S A BITCH, NO, KARMA'S A BANISHED PRINCE! Ha! See what I did there…. that rhymed. I still got it Sokka. You know, bitches love poets…. This one time in Haiku camp…. I totally paddled this one girls can-
But I digress. Bryke, I know it sucks knowing that you turned my beloved sister into a incestuous pedophile-esque sexual deviant. And, Zuko is probably going to get paper-cuts every time he scores with his girl. Get it! Because she's so pointy! Ha! Tui and La I am good! And then, you know, be miserable because she's miserable and just be miserable together. But you know what…. YOU KNOW WHAT!
I AM GOING TO PAWN THIS PICTURE, AND HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY AN ENDLESS SUPPLY OF MEAT, THEN AFTER I HAVE EATEN MY FILL, GO TO THE FIRENATION, BRIBE MAI TO LEAVE ZUKO CAUSESHE'SAGOLDDIGGERWHORE-BLAH, ZUKO WILL SEE THAT SHE TAKES SAID BRIBE AND BE LIKE…. SOKKA THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME KNOW THAT MY GIRL IS A GOLDDIGGINGWHORE-BLAH, BROES BEFORE HOES. BUT THEN YOU KNOW, MAI WILL GET PISSED AND SHANK HIM.
NO… DON'T WALK AWAY I'M ALMOST DONE! SO THEN I'LL SAVE THE DAY BY DELIVERING SOKKA TO KATARA SO THAT SHE COULD HEAL HIM. ZUKO WILL REALIZE THAT HE LOVES HER AND WHATNOT, THEN OMFG ZUTARA FTW.
And Aang will go penguin sledding and do things that normal pubescents normally do WHICH DOES NOT INCLUDE MY SISTER.
So, yeah…. just remember. I'm the one who boned the moon, therefore I know romance. Don'tellSukISaidThat.
Watertribe out *gun-fingers, winks, hitches a ride with Sango and her massive boomerang*
I had so much fun writing that.
Fireflakes and Angst; Taking Control of Zuko's Destiny
Katara (smug): I can certaintly beat you at hand-to-hand contact….
Zuko (smug): You sure about that water peasant?
Katara punches him, hard.
Katara (pissed): Son of a b- What the hell are you made out of?
Zuko (gazing into the horizon): Fireflakes and angst.
Katara: Isn't there a third ingredient?
Zuko: Uhm…
Katara: You know, sugar, spice, and everything nice…. there is a third ingredient. There has to be! It is the Powerpuff Principle Zuko! Powerpuff Principle!
Zuko: Fine! Fireflakes, angst, and…. uhm….
Katara: Raw sex appeal….
Zuko (flustered): Wha- what?
Katara: You heard me. Zuko, I am taking control of my destiny right now. And right now my destiny is in your pants. By the way, take them off.
Zuko (more flustered): But-what the-what?
Katara: God, your awkwardness gets me so hot. Zuko, we are going to fight your crazy bitch homicidal sister tomorrow. We might die. So, this unresolved sexual tension needs to be resolved. I'm planning on riding you like a Comodo Rhino tonight. You in? .
A pause
Zuko (smirk): In you.
Bomchickawowwow…
This is what happends when I don't want to go to sleep so I daydream. I'm sure this is on Cabbage juice. (Yes… Cabbage…not Cactus…. Juice. That's how much crack it's on)…
Sokka Knows Romance
Zuko: I… I think I've hit rock bottom Sokka…. I need your advice.
Sokka: Ha! I'm not surprised, you've come to the right place. What's on your mind hotman… You there…?
Zuko: I can't believe I'm doing this- I need advice…. there is a girl… and she hates me and I want to make her hate me less and possibly like me I mean I tied her to a tree and she didn't really like that so I said she could tie me to a tree and I could be at her mercy- I mean I have the rope and everything- and she waterb- I mean she slapped me and-
Sokka: Scarfacemcangstypants… calm down… I boned the moon, I know romance…
I was daydreaming and this little convo popped into my noggin. Yeah….
It's Zuko, Betch
Sokka (incredulously): You have a girlfriend?
Zuko: I have a scar on my face not on my dick….
So, this is my first fanfiction, crack-fick, mind explosion. Read, review... please. PLEASE. WITH A HALF HALF NAKED ZUKO/JET/SOKKA/HARU (and his sexyfine-ness), WAIT THAT MADE NO SENSE, HOW CAN YOU BE HALF HALF NAKED! Contemplate that as you hit the review button...
See that, I just inceptioned your ass... cactus juice Sokka style.
Well that was just on all types of crack... count how many times I say crack in this story... :D