Warnings and disclaimer only in this chapter because I forget to add them into all the others.

Warning: Cussing and soft sexual themes. Also violence.

Disclaimer: I do not own or have any part in the creation of Naruto, I do not make money off of this fanfiction.

Anyways, this first chapter is to introduce my OC. So please enjoy (:

There were Christmas lights all around me; I will never forget that one detail. They weren't those multi-colored, green and red cheesy ones that you wrap around your families Christmas tree. No, these lights were as if heaven had been captured in a small teardrop shaped glass cage. Begging to be let out, it shone brightly in order to capture the attention of any free living being near.

The sad part being, if anyone broke the glass to let it free, it would merely die. Really, it was a perfect metaphor for how I viewed life. I laid there on that snow-covered pavement staring at those stunning Christmas lights.

I honestly could not tell if I were alive or dead. My entire backside was numb due to lying in the cold snow for so long. Every breathe I took a small cloud of white puffed out of my mouth or nose. I was there for hours, just staring at the starry cloud covered sky. At one point in the night, I remember reaching up towards the sky, stretching my arm as high as possible in an attempt to reach the sky.

I so badly wanted to be up there, alone in a quiet place full of clouds that moved freely. To be able to look down at the world from above, to see it for its true beauty without seeing the corruption humans create.

Honestly, I should have been out exploring seeing how it was my first night of freedom, my first night seeing the sky, feeling fresh air on my delicate pale skin. My first chance at eating something other than fish and some unknown broth. It was my first night truly being alive, but before I even made it 10 miles, I found myself lying down in the snow. I laid there for hours just thinking and staring, alone, cold and totally lost.

That is the thing about having been locked up your entire life, you dream of freedom every waking moment, you dream of it when you sleep. However, when you get that freedom you so desperately hoped for, you have no idea what to do with it.

No longer is there someone telling you where to go or what to do. You no longer have any rules or restrictions and you completely forget how to function. I felt trapped in my freedom, along with overwhelming emotions of joy and relief. From this point in my life, I would never again be an experiment. My life would never again be constantly at risk for something as stupid as finding new jutsu or creating some super shinobi. I would never end up a failed experiment tossed in the trash when my dead body proved useless.

Though from the moment I was let go, one horrible thought shook me up so badly I thought I was going to vomit. What now? Where would I go from there?

I went over so many options that night, I have the skills to a lot more than a lot other ninja could. I am strong and intelligent. That would make the most sense, I am completely alone with no family or friends, what do I have to lose? I have nothing to live for really, I only merely exist.

I could pretend to be powerless and start a normal life in some small village far away from that terrible 'hide-out'. I could become a teacher or work in some small, run-down ma and pa shop. I could also join a gang. I could completely re-invent myself; I can become anyone I want. One thing, the only thing I could thank Orochimaru for is the amount of combat skill and intelligence he gave me. He may have been cold and cruel, he may have used me for my unique power, he may have hurt me both physically and mentally, but he also gave me immense strength in both body and mind and now that I am free, I can be whomever I please.

Now here I am, in some shady tavern in the sound village with a cup of sake in front of me. Sake, my one and only, not to mention highly illegal for me to consume friend. Every now and then, I let my eyes wander to someone across the room, observing them as they interact with their real, breathing friends. However, for the most part I stare at my own reflection in the window. I look normal, like civilian normal. I have long wavy blonde hair. It is a pale blonde, with a tint of light brown in it, completely natural and normal. My hair ends at the bottom of my rips, finishing with a bunch of small curls. My eyes are huge and they sparkle even when I am utterly depressed, my lashes are long and noticeable, the top line curling up towards the upper eyelid, the bottom line of lashes is a bit shorter but still long, messy and hangs low. My lashes really make my eyes pop without needing the help of make-up. The color of my eyes is a light golden brown and they are soft looking. If I were not me, I would even say they are comforting to look into.

My body is small but not the worst, my breasts are the smallest B cup around but my stomach is flat and I have small curves. My clothes are simple, a light pink tank top and a black leather jacket with slightly baggy, black sweat pants with some white wrappings wrapped around both legs above the ankles, along with simple black shinobi boots. My legs are thin and my thighs don't touch, I look a tad starved. I am not the worst looking; I would say I am pretty, but average. My eyebrows are thin and well shaped, my nose small, my lips a pale pink. I guess you could say I have a heart shaped face. My features are soft and innocent looking, almost child-like.

Okay, well technically, I am a kid, only 14 years old, but mentally I feel older. I guess after spending my entire life preparing to die any day, I grew up faster than I should have. However, that is not uncommon with people who grow up in the life of a ninja. From day one, I was being prepped and trained the ways of a ninja, only to later be given to Orochimaru.

I think the fact that my parents planned to make me, have me and train me to be strong in order to be of value to Orochimaru is the worst part of my entire life. How Orochimaru and Kabuto treated me, I could deal with. How that one stuck up jerk, Sasuke came to Orochimaru of his own freewill in order to kill his brother I could deal with. How he treated me like dirt and used me for his own gain. How he could never see how lucky he was that he at least at one point in his life he had a family that loved him and wanted him. How he always had a place called home to return to in the leaf, how damn lucky he was to have friends who constantly fought to get him back. I could deal with all of that, but the fact that the two people, who gave me life, only had me in order to give their precious 'Lord Orochimaru' something of value that is one thing I will never be able to deal with.

I notice my grip on the cup in front of me is tighter and I am starting to glare at myself in the window, making me look a bit insane. I chug the rest of the sake and slam some money down on the table before I take off out the door before anyone can question my age or my obviously fake ID.

Outside is cold and once again, it is raining. I sigh, not wanting to deal with my hair I pull it back into a high ponytail before strolling casually to the home of one of the villagers I helped out during my stay in the village, she offered me a room to sleep in for the night before moving onto the next village. I have been getting money here and there from small favors I do for the villagers but I have mostly been spending it on a places to sleep, bread every other day and sake. However, this time around I didn't have enough money to afford an inn.

Once inside I pull off my boots before making my way inside the room, leaving them by the door so the carpet does not get wet. I open the small top dresser drawer, pull out my poor excuse for a backpack, and get out a long grey t-shirt to sleep in. I look under the bed to make sure my two katanas are still there safe in the 'x' shaped double sword holster that goes on my back.

Satisfied, I go into the bathroom and undress to get into the shower. As I strip, I stop to observe my body in the mirror. Long scars from surgeries cover my stomach and back, accompanied by scars from gashes Sasuke put in me during the training sessions he forced me into while Orochimaru was out. I sigh as I step into the shower, once inside the hot water sooths my aching muscles and at first, I feel a sense of relief and a sort of blank bliss before the wave of utter misery washes over me.

Usually the wave hits me after those first blissful seconds of waking in the morning, but every now and then, it hits me in the shower or after a good training session. You'd think that I would get used to the random waves of misery, but every single time it hits, it hits hard. I nearly collapse in the shower, but I hold myself up by the tiles.

I bite my lip until it bleeds trying to hold back the tears stinging at my eyes but ultimately they start to spill. I slip down the tiles onto the porcelain floor of the tub before breaking out into a loud and painful sob, the blood from my lip mixing in with the water that was relentlessly pounding onto the top of my head and down my back.

I hate this, I feel disgustingly weak and pathetic. I keep telling myself how lucky I am to be free of that wretched place, how great it is that I am making a life for myself now and moving on. How fucking fantastic it is that I could start making a new life for myself at the age of 14, but all I can feel is misery and dread. I am alone and scared and I want somewhere to return home to, someone to love me and care about my well-being. I want someone to notice and be sad if I died tomorrow. I want a place I can call home.

In order to stop the sobs I punch the tiles in front of me a few times causing a good-sized crack, sending jolts and throbs of pain from my knuckles up into my wrist. The skin on my knuckles bruises turning an ugly shade of purple. The sobs stop though and to me that is all that matters now. I stand and turn off the water before stepping out and wrapping a small white towel around my small frame. I look in the mirror and notice how tired I look, my eyes look dead right now, barely holding their usual sparkle. Usually I could fool anyone into thinking I was perfectly happy but now I could not fool anyone.

I slip on the long grey t-shirt on over my head before taking brushing my hair softly. Leaving the bathroom, I notice that someone is jiggling the handle of the doorknob. I grab the kunai that I hid under my pillow and walk to the door quietly. I look into the peephole to see a blonde girl, who looked dirty and tired messing with the locked handle and jiggling it angrily. I lift an eyebrow, curious as to why she was here.

I open the door quickly but smoothly, but not slowly enough seeing how the blonde girl nearly falls into my arms before catching herself.

"You need something?" I ask, leaning against the doorframe with my elbow, not even trying to look happy. I let all my misery show, hoping maybe it will make her leave faster, the last thing I need to deal with is some bitchy stuck up chick.

She creases her eyebrows in confusion before looking me up and down, "I was told this was the room I could sleep in tonight."

I push myself from the frame before glancing over at the empty twin bed across the floor from the bed I claimed. I try not to groan in annoyance before letting her step into the room. I was naïve to think I would get the room to myself, seeing how the favor I did for the old biddy was moving some runaways across the sounds boarder. This girl must be another runaway, staying for the night before making her way out of the sound.

"Sorry, I didn't know someone else was sleeping here tonight as well, are you a runaway?" I ask, figuring since I am already planning on leaving the village I could always help her across, maybe trade something in return.

She laughs lightly as she sets her things down onto the bed, "No, I'm a shinobi; I'm on an undercover mission and was assigned this safe house to stay in until I complete my mission."

Interested now, along with a mixture of loneliness, I sit on my bed before grabbing a pillow and holding it in my lap, "That sounds interesting! You know, I always hear about the amazing things village shinobi get to do and some of the things they get to see. Is it true all your travel expenses are paid for?"

"Uh, well, not really." She laughs awkwardly, "Village shinobi? Is there any other kind?" she asks.

It is my turn to laugh awkwardly, "Oh, sorry for my lack of good labeling, I'm kind of new to this whole shinobi thing. I'm kind of own my own, it isn't like I'm a rouge ninja, because I've never belonged to a village before, I'm just alone, moving from village to village, getting work wherever I can."

"Oh! I would never have guessed you were a ninja also; you look so, so…well, I'm not sure how you look, just not like a ninja really."

"Yeah, I know, I look a lot like a civilian but I'm deadly!" I laugh a little but stop noticing she is starting to look a little on guard. "No worries though, I don't have a bad bone in me, I just do favors for villagers in exchange for shelter, food or money."

I notice that she loosed up a bit at that, her smile returning, "I'm Ino, by the way, Ino Yamanaka."

I force a soft smile back in return "I'm Kaiko Zenki, but you can call me Kai"

"It's nice to meet you"

"You as well." I nod.

"If you'd like, you can join me and my teammates for breakfast in the morning, I'm sure they'd like you."

"Oh, well, I…"

"You don't have to if you don't want to." She gives me a frown.

"No, no, no, It isn't that I don't want to, it's just that…" I trail off, looking away slightly, my misery slowly seeping back, the wave threatening to hit at any moment.

"Just that…" Ino edges me on.

"I've never been asked that before, I just don't know how to respond."

Ino laughs a little too loud for my liking, making me shrink back into my invisible shell.

"You've got nothing to worry about, I'll take that as a yes to breakfast, and don't worry about having to talk too much or anything, my teammates will do plenty of that for you." She smiles, and for a second it warms my heart, for a second I allow myself to pretend that this girl is my friend, and will stay my friend. For a second I am truly happy.

For the first time in my life I am truly excited for something to happen, and I fall asleep looking forward for tomorrow to come.

AH, wow, that is the longest thing I have written in weeks!

I am so proud of it though! Please review, of course I will still post the next chapter if you do not, but It will sure inspire me to get it done a lot faster if I know someone is waiting on me. *hint hint…wink wink*

I hope you liked it!