Disclaimer: If I say I don't own anything, will you leave me alone?
Told from Roxas in a letter sort of way.
It's almost amazing how fast it takes for one to regret something. As far as pushing over moms favorite bowl to shooting an innocent in the face, it takes less then a second to make the biggest mistake of your entire life.
I should have known.
It seems I am one of those people that act before they think. Always have been. Heh, it's kinda funny that it took something like this to make me realize that. I should have known when I punched my pre-k teacher in the gut for not letting me stay on the playground longer. Or when I cut off Katie's pony tail because I thought it would look better short.
Whoops. I'm getting off subject again aren't I? You always laughed when I did that. Heheh.
What I would give to hear you laugh again…
Remember when we were kids, and you thought I was half porcupine because of my spiky hair? And how I said that we most be related because you had spikier hair than me?
Sometimes I wish we could have stayed that age.
That's how we became friends, isn't it? Who knew hair could gain the greatest friend I ever had.
Sometimes….I wish you never met me…
Fuck, I think I'm crying.
You use to hate to see me cry.
Well, I always was the wuss of the relationship we held. No matter how many times I tried to be strong, to seem stronger than you, you always saw right through me. Heck, sometimes I feel as if you knew me better than myself.
Why did I do that?
I didn't mean it, you know. What I said….about you being the worst thing in my life? Or how you were holding me back?I didn't mean it…Any of it….I….I just didn't want to accept the fact that I was gay….for you….
Please forgive me.
And I swear if I knew you would have…would have h-h-hang yourself….I would have never, EVER, have said that…..I didn't think, I just….the words just….just flew out….
I didn't mean to.
You probably hate me. Sometimes I feel as if I want you to hate me. I deserve it. More than any thing.
Axel, I…
I don't think I can do this anymore. Life is… just so impossible without you. I thought I could get through this, but you know what? I'm a complete wrench! I can't sleep, I barely eat, hell! Even Riku and Zexion are worried about my health!
Why did you have to leave me?
I can't….
How do you expect me to go on?
I can't do this without you.
Please…..Please come back….
Axel….I'm so sorry…..
It's my fault.
If…I say…. I love you too…..Will….you come back?