It'll Be Alright.
YouSpeakToMySoul
Tell me that you love me and it'll be alright. You know I need you, just like you need me. Can't stop, won't stop, I must be dreaming. She wanted one night and he fell for the thought of forever. Post Always.
...
He wakes alone. Reaching desperately in to the darkness, feeling the cool air circulating his toes that hadn't quite made it under the covers. Noticing the empty space where she should be startles him even though he knows it shouldn't. He rubs a hand wearily down his face, he shouldn't feel this hurt after all she never did claim to be his, he has no right.
Actually he has every right, she's the one who showed up at his door claiming to want only him. He's just the fool who cares too much now.
The voice in the back of his mind has warned him as soon as she turned up in his doorway but he pushed it down as he felt her lips on his, soft and reassuring. Promising everything he wants,
And now she's gone, she's left him.
He sits up and groans. He feels so stupid. Can't believe he let himself be drawn in again, thinking this time would be any different. She wanted one night and he fell for the thought of forever.
He feels the heat her body left on the side of his bed and can still smell her on his pillow. The same one they ended up sharing after she had curled up close beside him. He knows that later he's just going to feel angry but right now he feels numb. She wasn't meant to mean anything but now she's everything, everything he wants and everything he never really had.
But this time is different, it has to be. This can't be it. She promised him all that she had on those swings and he believed her. The realisation hits him hard, he has to do something. He's not letting her get away this time. He had said always and he meant it. At the very least he wants an explanation.
He has let things drop simply from fear of losing her but now he realises, what exactly does he have to lose? Nothing that he hasn't already lost.
She can't have left long ago. He can still follow her. Make her see that it wasn't a mistake. The faster he acts, the more he can make her see that, a 'one and done', that's what she said once. Well she is his. Well his thirdbut most definitely his last. He can make her see that.
He grabs a pair of boxers from the drawers and struggles in his haste to get them on. To go after her. She came here after everything,
Everything. He stops short, a blind panic rising in his chest.
Even after everything, he's still out there. She's still a willing target.
God, how could he not have thought of that? She said she didn't care but in the heat of the moment, things we believe to be true are said and in the harsh reality of the aftermath, decisions we made aren't in the best light.
After all, that's all they really were, words. Assurances for him.
She could be out there, each scenario his horrified mind comes up with is more frantic than the last but they are come down to one thing.
Her, dead.
His movements get sloppier as the situation comes to light, he needs to find her. Right now he doesn't care that she's left, all he needs to know is that she's safe.
The pale sunlight filtering in to the loft stops him as he finally manages to yank his door open.
Blinds him for a split second until his eyes have time to adjust from the darkness of his bedroom, that's when he spots her, sitting by the window, knees tucked up tight to her chest.
She's wearing his shirt.
And a pair of his boxers.
He can't even appreciate how good she looks in his clothes because the sight of her is overwhelming, dizzying.
Turned away from him, hair cascading down her thighs as her head is placed delicately on top of her knees and here.
She didn't leave.
He rushes towards her even though he knows he shouldn't, doesn't want to scare her but she scared him and he can't quite get his heart to stop beating to erratically.
She's still here.
He stops in front of her, frantic and desperate with the sudden need to touch her.
He doesn't though. Can't just yet as he's still not sure he isn't dreaming. Just stands there, frozen in disbelief.
She's smiles up at him, that gorgeous half smile and in this moment he's completely willing to work the rest of his life to keep her smiling like that.
She's alive.
Her smile disappears when she sees his expression,
"Castle," she breathes.
"I woke up and you were gone Kate, gone" he really needs to stop talking but he can't help it as the words come out in a hurried hopeless jumble "It's stupid, really stupid I know, but I woke alone and eventually I just couldn't help but think 'What if he had found you?' and I just couldn't decide which one was worse than maybe you had just.." He's making no sense and he knows that but the he just can't control this irrational fear.
He stops himself just in time, stops himself before he can tell her what he thought, what he's really terrified of, not only her being hunted but getting up and leaving. Regretting but she already knows.
She looks at him, and he wishes he hadn't said anything. Wishes he could swallow the words, anything to get her smile back.
She encircles his wrist with her fingers and gently pulls him to her level,
She sees the unmasked hurt and fear in his eyes and for a split second she can see why this wasn't a good idea as all she's going to do is hurt him. Badly.
Just like every other woman in his life has, Kyra.. Sophia.. Meredith.. Gina.. and now herself but she carries on, needing to show him how much he means to her. She places a kiss in the palm of his hand, a soft brush of her lips right in the centre.
"I thought I told you" she whispers, her voice heavy with emotion. She frames his face with her hands and draws it close to hers.
She takes a hold of one hand and laces her fingers through the other. Curls her pinkie finger around his, a childish gesture that means so much.
"No more running. Promise"
...
So thoughts? Please:]
The Maine-I Must Be Dreaming.