Disclaimer: If I owned Criminal Minds, would I be writing fanfiction? Probably, but I'd also be writing episodes, which I am not doing…
….
"The secret to humor is surprise." ~Aristotle
"Where is he?"
"On his way."
Pause.
"He should have been here by now, you know."
"Hmm, let me think; traffic, off to a late start, casually late. Do you want me to list ten more reasons why it is perfectly acceptable to be fifteen minutes late?"
Morgan huffed in annoyance at Prentiss' sensibility. He knew he was being ridiculous. And impatient. Well, really impatient. But he couldn't help it! Reid was being so secretive about the whole thing, and Derek was desperate to find out who she was.
The team was, mercifully, off of cases for at least the weekend, and they had decided to celebrate. Actually, it had been Morgan's idea, going to the bar. But he couldn't resist having the get together when he found out what Reid was up to.
…..
They had just returned from a case in South Dakota the day before. It was gruesome, awful, and impossible to wrap one's head around. It was the kind of case where everyone on the team was thankful for who they had; JJ with Will and Henry, Garcia and Derek's friendship, Hotch and Jack, Prentiss had her mother (even though they didn't particularly get along), and Rossi was always better off alone. The more Derek got to thinking about it, the more he began to realize that Reid didn't really have anyone.
Sure, he had his mother, but she was thousands of miles away in a mental institution. And of course he had the team, but that could only take one so far.
But when they all came together the next day at work, Morgan was surprised to find a chipper Reid, and abnormally so. He even had a dorky smile that seemed almost plastered to his face. Morgan was determined to get to the bottom of this phenomena.
Morgan rounded a corner and saw Reid at a counter, dumping teaspoon after teaspoon of sugar into his coffee, the smile ever-present.
"Who is she?" he asked, smirking at the younger man mischievously.
Reid looked up, startled. He raised an eyebrow, smirked, and replied, "There is no one, Morgan."
"Spencer, Spencer, Spencer…" said Morgan in a patronizing voice. "Kid, I know that look."
Reid turned to face him, seeming amused.
"You got laid."
Reid's face turned from one of amusement to one of sheer horror, resembling a sunburned tomato. "MORGAN!"
"Don't try to lie to me Pretty Boy!" cried Morgan, following a storming-off Reid across the room. "Not to your best friend!"
"Morgan, you are ridiculous. Just because you have a girl 24-7 in your oh-so-large bed does not mean the same for all of us males!" said an aggravated Reid.
Morgan just stared at Reid, his smile growing wider. "HA!" he cried triumphantly. "I knew it!"
Reid whirled to face him. "Um, I'm pretty sure I just denied that previous statement, so…"
"You didn't deny in right off the bat, kid. Normally, a person would have said 'no way in Hell', but you were defensive! You didn't knock it down!"
"Yeah, Morgan, I did!"
"Didn't."
"Did."
"Didn't."
"Didn't."
"Did, oh dammit!" Reid smirked. "Shut up, Reid. You can't hide the truth from me!"
"Watch me!" he cried back, muttering under his breath something about damn profilers.
…
Morgan had proceeded to tell the entire BAU team that Reid had a secret girlfriend that he was concealing from the rest of the team. So naturally, every member of the team wanted to meet said girlfriend. And naturally, Spencer denied it.
It was time for a group meeting.
Reid was forced to be the only one sitting in the conference room while his team strode around him. Hotch didn't participate as much, but he was obviously amused about the situation.
"Spencer…." sang Garcia, playing with his boy-band hair. "Was it perhaps, a young lady who suggested this hairdo? Hmmm?"
"No," he sighed miserably. He didn't know how much more of this he could take.
She playfully slapped the back of his head. "You do not lie to the All-Knowing, Dr. Sexy Reid."
Reid just sighed again.
"There! He's not denying it!" she giggled happily.
"Maybe because I'm sick of attempting it…" he muttered.
"What was that?" asked JJ with a smile.
"Nothing."
"Thought so."
"So here's what's going to happen, kid," said Morgan, as if he was giving out team assignments as opposed to harassing Spencer. "We are all going to that bar on the corner this Saturday night. JJ is bringing Will, I'm going with my lady," he smirked at Penelope, who curtsied, "and you are going to bring your little friend, okay?"
Reid turned to his supervisor. "Hotch, help me!"
Hotch just laughed quietly. "I'm just as curious as they are, Reid."
Reid huffed and stayed silent. Morgan took that as confirmation. "I'll see you tomorrow night, kid," he said, slapping Reid on the shoulder before heading out the door and on his way home.
…
"What do you think she's gonna look like," said Garcia, excitedly, leaning forward in her seat, her electric green sparkly glasses catching the light.
"Something out of Star Wars, perhaps?" joked Morgan. "Or maybe like my sixth grade science teacher. Now she was a beauty. Had a beard and everything." Prentiss slapped him on the arm.
"Be nice, Derek. You pushed him to do this, so behave," she warned.
"Yes, Mother," he chimed.
"What I want to know is-" began Morgan, but he was interrupted by JJ's "No Way!"
The team looked up to see an uncomfortable looking Spencer in dark jeans and black polo shirt walking towards them, followed by a stunning girl. She was probably 5'5, with long dark red hair that fell down her back in gentle curls. Her eyes were a chestnut brown and bright. She had beautiful curves and long legs, which her apparent work skirt and shirt showed appropriately, but still very nicely. She was holding on to Reid's hand and appeared to be excited, yet nervous, just like Spencer.
"Hey," said Reid, slightly squeaking, not meeting Derek's eyes, which were the size of dinner plates.
"Hey," they all said softly and in unison.
Reid cleared his throat. "Um, guys, this is Alice. Alice, this is my team, and Will, JJ's husband."
She smiled prettily, and waved, "Nice to meet you all." She spoke with a strong British accent. "Spencer's told me so much about you." Reid just smiled awkwardly. He look at his team as if to say, 'so what do you think?'
Derek responded first. "Well Alice, let me be the first to welcome you to our BAU family," and he stuck out his hand, to which she shook it gratefully.
The tension seemed to fall out of Reid's body and he suddenly seemed calmer and happier to be there. The rest of the night went by pleasantly. Alice, as it turned out, worked for the FBI in another division, three floors below theirs. She was relatively new, only having moved into the office about six months ago. She was born and raised in Oxford and had dual citizenship in both America and England. She had met Reid entirely by accident. On her third day of work, she had to give a message to a man on the ninth floor, and she was totally and completely lost. After running around for an hour and a half, she had actually run into the unsuspecting Spencer, knocking the fifteen files out of his hands, half down a stair case. The rest was history.
"So how long have you two been together?" asked Prentiss.
"Since May," said Spencer, once again not looking at Derek.
"Reid?"
"Yeah?"
"It's September."
"I know the date, Morgan."
"Can you tell me why you waited five months to introduce us to the lovely lady?"
"It was actually my fault, as it were," said a blushing Alice. "Spencer had wanted to introduce us months ago, but I was utterly terrified. No idea why, but the thought scared me. I'm pretty much meeting his family. You all are one big family," she smiled.
Reid looked at Derek as if to say, "HA!"
Derek smiled. "That we are, but now that includes you too, Miss Alice."
The night ended and before they knew it, they were all exhausted.
"I think it's time we go relieve the babysitter of her duties," smiled Will. JJ and Will left, followed closely by Hotch, who shockingly gave Reid an approving smile and a pat on the back, and Prentiss. Alice was waiting outside while Morgan had one final word with Reid.
"Kid?"
"Yeah, Morgan?"
"I am impressed." Reid chuckled softly. "She's a nice girl. You two are great together."
Reid nodded. "I know," he smiled.
Morgan raised an eyebrow. "She the one, Pretty Boy?"
Reid actually laughed out loud at that one. "So far so good. I'm not going to jinx it now."
Morgan and Reid laughed together and headed for the door.
Reid paused. "Go on and say it, Morgan."
Morgan grinned devilishly. "I. KNEW. IT!"
…
Author's Note:
Story written and dedicated to madscientist128. You rock!
Also a big shout out to Bonkers 4 Reid, who was the first to hear the idea:)
You like?
With love, MissdaVinci77