A/N: I can't believe I wrote this.
Bedside Manner.
Bedside manner? What's that?
Warning: This SI character has a dirty mouth.
Fuck off.
Seriously.
Ok, sorry I shouldn't have said that. I'm a little drunk to be honest.
Don't give me that look. By drunk, I meant tipsy. If you were to get stabbed right now, in the chest, you'd still want me to be in that operating room, whether or not you could smell alcohol on my breath.
.
.
Shutup. It's not like I ever let myself get that drunk. I know fully well the dangers – I'm a friggin' medic nin ok?! (Also manipulating metabolism for the WIN!) And I was studying to become a doctor even before I was friggin born!
Oh shit. I never said that. You heard nothing? You got that?!
Seriously, all those months studying for the MCATS (SHUTTUP, IT WAS MONTHS OK? I swear I didn't cram it into two months), only to wake up in this friggin' world.
Fuck.
(Sorrynotsorry? I swear my language isn't this bad, but you try catching one hour of sleep over the course of three days only to see your hard work jump off the table and unravel your hard work…)
Anyway, I did make an honest attempt at becoming a ninja, but it really wasn't my thing ok? So don't say that I don't understand a little bit of your mentality (fucking suicidal if you ask me). What's this? It's a scalpel.
Why am I holding it?
Well how else am I supposed to pin down my patients?
Kidding! Kidding. … kinda. But seriously, how is it any different from you going out there, tearing your stitches, and getting stabbed by a dozen kunai? At least this is sterile. Yeesh, I'll put it away.
By the way, I welded that window shut. So don't bother going out that way – and if you break it, don't bother trying to pay the hospital back, I'll be coming after you myself.
What?! I was bored, and Mitarashi-san offered to teach me. But anyway, I was a genin and everything. Got myself a sensei for all of two hours before she failed us. Still, she was pretty cool.
Urgh, just lie down ok? Jeez, I thought I could avoid all this shit in the hospital. Avoid this nonsense and drama and the general dangers of being a red-shirt.
Oh right, just ignore me. Anyway, what's your name again?
Rin?
Huh, sounds familiar. Well, I expect to see you right here when I come by – understand?
I don't give a damn if you have a fucking mission. Citation? Fuck that and the shit it came in on – jeez, here's what I have to say. You. Are. Injured.
End of story.
That means, you park your ass right here. The only thing you're getting up for is coffee – for me, and then maybe, just maybe I'll think about giving you an early release.
Ah oops, was that your teammate?
Yea whatever, he shouldn't have snuck up. Do you think I have the reflexes to combat you shinobi? Yeesh, hell no, I drug everyone who comes through that door.
I HAVE A NON DISCIMINATION POLICY!
Don't give me that look. Anyway, here, you two can share a bed, right? Oh wait, is that against hospital policy. Ugh, I need more sleep.
Anyway, no missions. I have no patience for this shit.
Don't tell me you noticed, if you noticed you wouldn't be trying to sneak out! Do you know how long it takes….?
Oh, you're studying to be a field medic-nin? Best of luck to ya. Wait a sec - YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN ANYONE! Freaking hell, wha-
Tips? For you? You mean other than being a better patient?
Roofies.
Kidding...seriously, don't listen to a word I'm saying.
What do you mean 'that explains a lot'? I'll have you know that I've only ever used tranqs!
First field mission? What? Tomorrow? Didn't I just - ok fine, here. Sign the release forms first.
Huh, nice signature. Get your teammate to sign this too.
He's not awake? Whelp sucks to be you. Guess that means neither of you can leave. Doctor's orders and all.
Yea, yea, yea. You guys never listen to me, why the hell should I listen to you. Night. Go the hell to sleep.
Heh.
suckers.
A/N Cont: So the original concept was that a SI character decides to avoid the whole ninja thing by going into medicine - especially since she already had a head start in that (no, I'm not in the medical track). The idea was that anyone would get pissed off if their work kept on getting unraveled... so this just came out.
idek. I thought this would serve as a better first chapter than the second one, but now I'm not even sure. I'll keep a Table of Contents updated here for my own and your reference. I'm marking this story complete since I don't know when the next inspiration will come. :shrugs:
Table of Contents:
1. Bedside Manner.
2. Bumped His Head. Who'd want to deal with the massacre? An Uchiha SI.