My first Sirius/Lily fic written for severus'girl-draco's angel's Forbidden Love Challenge on HPFC.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
He had done it. He had done the one thing everyone thought to be impossible. He had done the one thing no one had ever done before.
Sirius Black had escaped from Azkaban.
Stepping out of the water, he shook his fur and retransformed into his human form. The swim had been hard but he had to do it. After such a long time, eleven years and eight months to be exact, he didn't trust himself to apparate. He would splinch himself for sure and then all that work would've been for nothing.
After he had caught his breath, he transformed back. Padfoot's fur was still a bit wet, but as he ran he dried in the warm summer air. If anyone saw him in human form it would be disastrous so he supposed he was going to be Padfoot for a while.
James had always told him the switch wouldn't be bad if the potion had gone wrong and it had been permanent.
James. James. James. He still couldn't believe nearly twelve years later that James was dead. He couldn't believe that James was dead and Peter had betrayed them. He couldn't believe that James was dead, Peter had betrayed them, and Harry was an orphan.
He could believe that Lily was dead. He had felt it.
Out of breath, Sirius stopped in front of the welcome sign for Godric's Hollow. He'd been running for days and he'd finally made it. He trotted into the sleepy village where his friends had hid and toward the house. It was just as destroyed as it had been when he went there that night, that horrible night, when he had pulled Harry out of the rubble so surprised he was alive and so shocked that his plan had failed.
Just looking at the house made his heart break into a million pieces again, knowing it was his fault. It had been his stroke of brilliance after all that led James and Lily to Peter. But, he supposed, turning away from the house, Peter had learned his scheming from the best. He, James, and Lily had, after all, schemed their way through Hogwarts, at least until the end of sixth year.
He shook his head and closed his eyes, letting out a small bark that sounded like a chuckle. Slughorn had once called James and him clever boys, but the professor didn't know how correct he was. Oh yes, they had been so good Remus hadn't even caught on and now no one would ever know the extent of their cleverness.
The story of Lily and James had gone down in history as the greatest love story to hit Hogwarts. They hated each other, stemming from Lily's friendship with Severus Snape, until third year when James began to like her. He asked her out everyday, each attempt more ludicrous than the next. Then, seventh year came along and they were attached at the hip. It could've been taken right off the bookshelves at Flourish and Blotts.
Only, it was a lie.
Sirius Black jogged up the stairs to the owlery two at a time. He had to get the letter to Andromeda. Regulus had just informed him that their mother had blasted Andy off the family tree for "running off with that Mudblood" or so Regulus said. He had to know if it was true. Andy was his favorite cousin and, to be honest, he didn't want to go home for the holidays if she wasn't going to be there. He wasn't sure he could stand another one of his mother's Christmas parties. He was only in his third year at Hogwarts and he was already looking forward to the freedom of having his own place.
He rounded the corner and ran through the doors but found himself on the ground. He shook his head, sitting up, and looked for what he had run into. His eyes widened at the sight.
Lily Evans's fierce green eyes stood out more that they usually did, but not for the right reasons. Her eyes were bloodshot and it was obvious she'd been crying. Sirius wasn't a fan of crying girls. Blacks weren't supposed to show emotion and, therefore, he hadn't really been around them before, but Lily looked so helpless that he stood and offered her his hand.
"Thanks," she mumbled, furiously wiping a tear from her eye.
"Don't mention it," he replied.
She looked up at him with her eyes wide in shock. It was almost as if she hadn't realized who she had run into. Her grateful look quickly turned into a glare. "Go ahead," she sneered. "Run to Potter! Tell him that you ran into me crying in the owlery so you can have a right laugh when you tell the rest of the school."
It was no secret that James Potter had taken a fancy to playing pranks on Lily Evans. It wasn't because he enjoyed seeing her embarrassed any more than anyone else. It was just that she reacted more to them than anyone else.
Sirius shook his head. "I won't do that," he said quietly, biting his bottom lip. "I'm not as cruel as you think, Lily."
She turned around, clutching a crumpled up letter in her hand. "Oh, please," she said. "Tell it to someone who will believe you."
He turned and walked to his owl, placing the letter on her leg before sending her off. When he looked back at Lily, she had lost her focus on him and was ripping the letter to shreds. "Bad news?" he asked.
"It's nothing!" she hissed.
"Doesn't seem like nothing," Sirius mumbled. One of the birds pecked his arm and he turned, shooing it off. "Come on, what's got the great Lily Evans crying?"
She looked back down at the letter. "It's stupid," she said.
"I don't think it's any stupider than the letter I just sent," he replied. She looked at him questioningly. "If I tell you what my letter was about, you tell me what got you so upset."
She stared at him and he mentally kicked himself. He didn't know what he was doing. If James saw this he'd make a big deal of it, tell him he was fraternizing with the enemy. Lily just looked so distraught. She looked kind of like he would if Andromeda wrote back telling him he was alone in the House of Black.
When she didn't reply, he shrugged. "My mother blasted my cousin off the family tree."
Lily's eyes widened. "Your mother killed your cousin?" she asked before slapping a hand over her mouth. "Oh, I'm sorry. That was rude."
Sirius let out a chuckle, forgetting for a moment that Lily was Muggleborn and wouldn't understand. "No, no," he said. "No, she just took her off the family tree. Probably made a nice big hole that hopefully didn't singe Narcissa. She'd freak out if Mother burnt her hair."
Again, Lily looked confused and Sirius took a deep breath. "We have a family tree, like Muggles do, on a tapestry," he clarified. "Mother, well, she has a tendency to burn people off if they step out of line. She got it from her father, who did the same thing. Andromeda, apparently, ran off with Ted Tonks and got herself blasted off."
"Andromeda?" Lily said, narrowing her eyes in concentration. "I think I vaguely remember her."
"She was seventh year when we were first years," Sirius told her, going briefly back to first year. She had been proud of him. He shook his head, not knowing why he had just spilled his story to Lily. It just seemed…natural. "You probably didn't want to hear all that."
Lily shook her head. "No, that's alright," she said. She pointed to the bits of paper that were now flowing in the wind and had once been her letter. "If she had the chance, I'm sure Tuney would blast me off the family tree like your mother did to Andromeda."
"Tuney?"
"My sister, Petunia," Lily clarified. "We've been rocky ever since we found out I was a witch, but now she's telling me she doesn't even want me home for Christmas. She says I'll infect the house."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Families can be a pain sometimes," he muttered.
"Yeah," she agreed.
Silence filled the owlery and Sirius rubbed the back of his neck. It was awkward. He and Lily rarely spoke to each other and if they did it was usually yelling. He made to leave and Lily followed him. Soon they were in stride with each other on their way back to Gryffindor tower.
"So, what are you going to do?" he asked, filling the silence.
Lily looked at him in confusion. "What?"
"Are you going home?" he asked.
"Well, I would love to stay," she said, much to Sirius's surprise. He figured that seeing her parents would trump Petunia's attitude. "I think my parents would be disappointed if I did."
Sirius nodded and they were quiet again. He kept looking at her, just glances so she wouldn't notice.
He had just turned fourteen and he wasn't dumb. He knew that the awkwardness was mostly because they hadn't really had a proper conversation. However, Sirius also knew that when things got awkward - like the time he and James had walked in on Slughorn changing - his stomach didn't flutter.
He groaned, catching Lily's attention. If James and Remus had caught him thinking his stomach was 'fluttering' he'd never live it down.
"Do you think you'll see Andromeda at Christmas?" Lily asked as they approached the Fat Lady.
Sirius turned to her, pleased that she was interested in civil conversation. "I dunno," he replied. "I might not go home if she got blasted. I might stay here."
She nodded and told the Fat Lady the password. Upon entering the room, Lily was whisked away by her friends and Sirius spotted James and Remus playing Wizards Chess. He walked over, sitting down beside Peter, to watch.
James looked up from his game just as Remus said, "Checkmate."
James groaned, picking up one of his pawns to throw at Remus before turning to Sirius. "So, what's up with you and Evans?"
Sirius shook his head. "Nothing," he said. "We just met in the owlery and walked back together."
"And you didn't kill each other?" Remus asked, looking up with a raised eyebrow. "I'm shocked."
Peter chuckled and James began a rant about what Lily had done to him in Charms the other day. Sirius took this moment to look up at the girls staircase. Lily was long gone, but he still felt his stomach twist and turn.
Dearest Siri,
Yes, Reggie heard correctly. Your mother has indeed blasted me from the family tapestry and I am dreadfully sorry. I tried to keep it a secret, I did, but I could only keep Ted and Nymphadora a secret for so long. I knew it was coming and I am sorry I did not try to lessen the blow for you.
I know you do not enjoy family occasions, but I highly suggest you go for Christmas break. Sirius, I do not want you to end up like me. I have no one but Ted and Nymphadora. I know you disagree with them, even more than I do, and I know that your mother is making life difficult because you were placed into Gryffindor, but know your limits. I am sure that your mother would have absolutely no problem doing to you what she did to me. Uncle Alphard loves you more than he does any of us. Use him for support.
Please, Siri, do not ruin your life. I left the family for love and if you must do it leave for that. Do not leave for hate.
My utmost love,
Andy
Sirius plopped himself down on the bench in the Great Hall. Most of the other students had gone home but he couldn't do it. After Andromeda's letter, he knew he couldn't go. Sure, he had Uncle Alphard but he never showed up for more than a day.
"Are you sure you don't want to come with me?" James had asked, dressed in his heavy robes with his trunk in his hands. "My parents won't mind!"
"Go, Jamesie," Sirius had chided, pushing his friend out the door to the dorms. "I already told Minnie I'm staying."
James had nodded, hearing Remus shout from the common room, and sighed. "Owl me, at least," he had said before walking out of the room and down to Remus and Peter.
It hadn't occurred to him, but now he saw that he was all alone.
"Hi."
He turned to the timid voice beside him and glanced at her in confusion. "Lily?" he asked. "What are you doing here?"
Lily smiled, pulling a goblet close to her. "I couldn't go," she said. "As much as it gives Petunia the satisfaction, I couldn't leave you here by yourself."
Sirius could feel his eyes bulging out of their sockets. He had heard that Lily was one of the nicest, if not the nicest, girls in school. She had to be, he reasoned, if she was friends with Severus Snape. The fact that she had stayed for him, to keep him company, made his heart swell. He didn't really know why she did it. They weren't friends.
But, then again, he supposed they weren't enemies either. Sirius had, in the past few weeks, kept James away from her, to her pleasure and James's suspicion. They had sent glances to one another every once and a while. Perhaps they could be friends. He wouldn't mind being on the receiving end of Lily's kind heart.
Lily didn't say anything else, but her eyes said it all. Her big green eyes were telling him she wanted to be friends. He broke out into a wide grin, attempting to ignore the butterflies in his stomach.
The few weeks of winter break went by fast. He and Lily spent all their time together. He noticed a few teachers - McGonagall, Slughorn, and Dumbledore to name a few - sending them looks. Who would've thought, the reject Black and the great Lily Evans. He didn't mind though. During the time alone they learned a lot about each other.
They learned that, despite being a Pureblood and a Muggleborn, they were the same.
Lily's parents cherished her, but her sister hated her. Sirius's parents hated that he was in Gryffindor (and friends with a Potter no less!), but his Uncle and Andromeda made him feel wanted. Lily worked hard because she wanted to be noticed for being a great student and not just another Muggleborn. Sirius acted out because he wanted to be noticed as a Marauder and Gryffindor and not a Black.
In the few weeks of break, he felt that he learned more about her than he had about Remus in an entire year. She spilled all her secrets and he told her all of his.
"My first bit of accidental magic was making Petunia's hair blue," Lily confessed as they walked around the castle. "I was five. I didn't know I did it at the time, but it all makes sense now."
Sirius laughed. "I made Regulus's whining go silent," he told her. "I was obviously annoyed."
She giggled and Sirius had to turn away. He could feel his cheeks lighting up. Lily understood him. She understood where he was coming from. He couldn't say the same about his friends. James's parents thought the world of him and spoilt him rotten. Remus's parents were just happy he was alive after being bitten by a werewolf. Peter wasn't the bane of his parents' existences either. No one really hated them and that's where he connected with Lily.
They made it back to the common room just before curfew. It was silent and no one was there. He turned to her and found her playing with a lock of her dark red hair. She did that, he had learned, when she was nervous. He gently reached forward and moved her hand away. He swallowed hard.
Lily looked up at him, stared at him, with her bright green eyes. Her almond-shaped emerald eyes that Sirius found himself getting lost in on their nightly strolls. He wanted to kiss her. He didn't know where it was coming from, but he wanted it badly. He leaned forward just a bit, unsure of what he was doing. He had never kissed a girl before, not once, and had never had the desire to do it either. Now he did and he wished he had learned how.
Lily shook her head. "We can't," she whispered. "It's bad enough that we're friends. Could you imagine what your mother would do to you if she found out you kissed a Muggleborn?"
He shrugged. "I don't really care."
"I do," she said.
He grabbed her arm as she tried to leave. "There's no one here," he said, motioning to the empty common room. "She won't find out. Unless you don't want to."
She kissed him. It was short, as neither really knew what to do, but he liked it. She backed away, her pale and freckled cheeks lighting up red. "I've never kissed a boy before," she admitted.
"Me either," he said and then he chuckled nervously as she laughed. "I mean, you know what I mean!"
She giggled more and Sirius leaned in again, but she pulled back. "I don't want you getting burnt off the tapestry because of me," she said. "If my blood status didn't matter to your staying in your family, I would kiss you again, Sirius, I swear."
Lily kissed his cheek instead and ran up the stairs to the girls dorms, leaving Sirius to stand at the bottom, scheming on how to get around his mother finding out. Because, he had to kiss her again. It just wasn't an option not to.
"Please?"
"No!" James shouted. "Absolutely not! I'll look like a complete nutter!"
Sirius sighed and sat down on the end of James's bed, looking up at his best friend with the best puppy dog eyes he could come up with. "But I'm your best mate," he tried.
"No," James said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I may be your best mate, but this is my reputation and I'm not ruining it for some girl you're after! Especially seems as it's Evans! She's hates my guts and I hate hers. It would never work! No one would believe it."
By the end of James's rant, Sirius knew he had him. He'd spent the entire night making a plan and it seemed perfect in his head. If he had someone, James, become completely obsessed with Lily and ask her out all the time, no one would even think that said someone's best friend, Sirius, would be dating her, especially if they pretended to hate each other as well. It would have to be secret, no hand-holding in Hogsmeade, but it was a plan that Lily couldn't say no to.
That is, if he could get James to agree.
"Jamesie, I'm asking you because I trust you," he said, standing to see eye-to-eye with James. "I know you'd do anything for me, just like I'd do anything for you! We're the ringleaders of the Marauders!"
James glared at him. "You're asking me because Peter's too shy and Remus is too levelheaded to do it."
"That too."
"So, I can't go out with anyone?" he demanded. "I give up my right to like girls because I have to convince people that I like Lily Evans when it's really you? Does that seem fair?"
Sirius tried the puppy eyes again.
"That's not going to work," James muttered.
He deflated. If James didn't agree he was sunk. He supposed he could just ask Lily if they could go out in private but, knowing her, he knew she would want to make sure it was fool proof that his family wouldn't catch wind. Hogwarts was like grapevine for gossip and if one person found out it would get to Regulus and then his mother.
Sirius sighed and fell backwards onto the bed, landing with a loud thwack. James walked over, standing above him with an eyebrow raised. "You really like her," he said. Sirius nodded, seeing he had James in his clutches, and James kicked the bed post. "Fine! I'll do it."
Leaping from the bed, Sirius hugged James so tightly James began to struggle breathing. "Thank you, James!"
"Geroff!" James said, pushing Sirius back down on the bed. "But, can I at least make it fun? Do I have to be all lovey-dovey asking her?"
Sirius shrugged. "Just make it believable."
"Do you know what James was up to?" Remus asked, sitting down beside Sirius at the Great Hall. "Said he'd be down in a minute, that he was working on something, but we don't have an essay due."
Sirius shrugged. "It's James."
Remus raised an eyebrow at the response but nothing more came of it. Sirius knew, of course, what James was working on. He couldn't tell Remus though because the more people that knew the more of a chance that someone would let slip that it was all just a ploy. It would get out that James didn't really like Lily and their plan would go up in smoke. As James hurriedly rushed into the Great Hall, Sirius sent a look down the table to Lily, who was sitting with a few of her friends, preparing her for what was to come.
"You owe me," James muttered in Sirius's ear before jumping up on the table and looking down at Lily.
The entire hall went silent aside from McGonagall frantically attempting to get James to sit.
"Well, Evans, how was Christmas?" he asked, smiling at her with a broad smile that only James Potter could fake.
Lily merely rolled her eyes.
"Mine went fine, thanks," he continued, pulling out the parchment Remus had seen him writing on. Both Remus and Peter turned to Sirius in shock, but Sirius shrugged and James kept going. "I came to a bit of a conclusion. Would you like to hear it?"
"Do I have a choice, Potter?" she asked, and if Sirius didn't know, he would've thought she was completely annoyed.
"No," James said shortly. He cleared his throat a little and McGonagall had made her way from the Head table, screeching about detentions, as he opened his mouth. "Her eyes are like emeralds, so shiny and expensive. I always love to look, even though it's offensive."
Lily placed her head in her hands as the Hall began to laugh.
"Potter!" McGonagall yelled. "Get down!"
"One sec, Minnie!" he said. "I'm not done!"
Sirius's chuckles turned into laughs. Peter looked ready to wet himself. Remus groaned, shaking his head. "Does he know he's embarrassing himself?" he asked.
"I don't think so," Sirius lied through his laughs.
"Lily! Oh, Lily!" James continued. "Oh, how divine, would it be for you and me to dine on a special date and I won't be late!"
Lily's face had gone red and she glared at James. "Never in a million years, Potter!"
James looked deflated and smiled at her hopefully. "Another time then."
"No!" Lily shouted. "Not another time! Not ever!"
Lily stood and stormed off and James went to follow her. Sirius smiled at how well it worked out. "I'll got get him before she kills him," he said before standing and running after the two. He walked to one of the abandoned classrooms and looked both ways, making sure no one was there, before opening the door.
"You two owe me everything!" James said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I just became the laughing stock of the whole school!"
Sirius smiled as Lily ran to him. "It worked, didn't it?" she asked.
"Oh, yeah. Our Jamesie is pretty convincing!" he replied, turning to James. "Now, run along."
James rolled his eyes and grabbed Sirius's arm. "We need to make it look convincing now," he smirked, clearly happy that Sirius would have to bring James back and not stay with Lily. "I didn't do that for nothing."
"I still can't believe James likes Lily," Remus said a few weeks later.
Sirius turned and raised an eyebrow to his friend. "Why?" he asked, trying to conceal his nervousness.
Remus shrugged. "Well, I suppose it's just a bit unexpected," he muttered. "James never said anything about her before and now he's head-over-heels for her."
"I think he's got it bad," Peter said quietly from the other side of Remus. "He's talking about her in his sleep!"
"Oh, Merlin!" Remus groaned, completely missing the fury in Sirius's eyes.
"Well, perhaps it's a good thing," Peter squeaked. "Now we won't be on the bad side of -"
"James Potter, I swear if you don't leave me alone I will hex you to Azkaban and back!"
Remus rolled his eyes at the sound of Lily's screech. "You were saying, Peter."
Sirius rushed forward just in time to see Lily nearly deck James. Nearly. One of her friend, Ivy Burns, pulled her back as James merely smirked and sent a look to Sirius. James, it seemed, took to the job fairly easily. People now expected him to ask Lily out all the time and he found immense joy in figuring out what annoying stunt he could pull next. Lily was beginning to get annoyed with all of it, but knew for Sirius's sake, it needed to continue.
"Sirius! Help me out!" James shouted.
"No," Sirius said, walking forward to pull James away. "That's enough for now."
James began to complain, muttering about how he'd never get a date with Lily Evans, as Sirius passed him off to Remus. The werewolf passed James off to Peter. Peter followed James as he stormed down the hallway, ranting about stupid Lily and stupid Snape.
Sirius turned to Lily. "Sorry 'bout that," he said.
"James can't control himself," Remus added.
Lily dusted herself off as Ivy let go of her. She smiled up at them. "It's okay," she said.
"But, you know, if you did go out with him," Sirius started to say, knowing this would trigger her temper and cover for her being nice. It did.
Lily glared at him. "You're just as bad as he is, Black!" she hissed, spinning on her heel and pulling her friends with her.
"Happy birthday, Evans!" Sirius shouted to her as she rushed off. She turned back for a moment, her eyes alight to show Sirius she heard him.
Remus glanced to him as Lily rounded the corner and Sirius had to turn away, afraid Remus would see the smile on his lips.
Siri,
How's the folks? Horrible probably, but wait until you yell at me. I would like to invite you to stay at my house for the rest of the summer. The rest of the Marauders are already here. If you can, just owl me. If you can't, owl me too. If your mum takes the owl and won't let you tell me, Remus and I will be over to get you. Keep the floo open. We don't want to get stuck.
James
PS. I owled Lily. Asked her out. I enclosed her response. Enjoy.
James,
No.
Lily
Sirius,
Thank you for the letter. It was nice to hear from you.
Petunia's being her usual self just like you thought. Of course, it's even worse now. She's dating a whale of a man named Vernon Dursley and the two of them hate me more than anything. Getting letters from you is what gets me through the days he's here. I can't go anywhere this summer! Because I stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas my parents won't let me visit any of my friends.
James sent me a letter asking me out the other day. I wanted to laugh but of course I merely wrote no. He told me to because Remus was over and we don't want to get caught.
I hope the rest of your summer goes by well.
xoxo
LE
The train ride was brutal.
Mostly because he could hear Lily in the compartment next to them and he couldn't do anything about it.
"So, it looks like if we nick all the supplies this year, we could brew it over the summer," James said, holding out a book on Animagi. "We'll be animals before we know it!"
"You already are an animal," Remus said, lowering his transfiguration book. "You asked Lily on a date and we haven't even made it to school yet."
Sirius rolled his eyes as James tried to defend himself. "She thinks you're conceited, mate," he added, placing another Exploding Snap card on the tower he was building with Peter. "Maybe you should give up."
James shook his head. "Not in the name of love!"
Sirius loved these conversations and the double meaning they implied. James liked them too. The past school year had been difficult, finding ways to get around without people seeing them, making sure people believed James. Lily said even Snape believed James and, as much as he hated Snape, it was a good thing.
As the train pulled to a stop, they opened the doors and walked out. They were fourth years now and Sirius was beginning to notice that they weren't the only ones talking about love in their compartments. Girls stared at them. One even waved his way.
Not good.
"Hi, Sirius," the girl said shyly, walking up to him with a smile.
He just shrugged it off and continued walking. What was he supposed to do? He was dating Lily Evans! But, of course, no one else knew. They all thought she was James's, just like the plan was supposed to go. He needed to talk to Lily about what to do in situations like these.
"Evans? Wanna share a carriage?"
"In your dreams, Potter!"
"Oh, come on, Evans! I'm not that bad!"
"I'd rather date the giant squid than you."
James turned to him and smirked as Remus stepped in their carriage. "So, I hear you're the giant squid."
"Shut it, Potter," he said, pushing James inside the carriage so they could head up to the castle. Once they were among the throng of people entering the castle, he felt fingertips brush against his hand. It was risky, but they were in such a big group that it didn't matter. People were bumping all over. No one would notice Lily merely brushing his hand.
"Hey, James!" he shouted, looking at Lily for a brief moment as if to tell her he was talking to her. "I'm thinking of heading to the lake tonight around midnight. What do you think?"
"I think I'll be sleeping, thank you very much!"
Lily brushed his hand another time before pushing her way back through the crowd to her friends.
Lily came at midnight. He looked up as he heard her coming and smiled, pulling her into his lap. His heat accelerated every time he touched her and he dreamed about her brilliant green eyes. In third year, when they had just started dating he would say his name in his sleep and Peter would mistake it for James. Now, he put up a spell so anything he said couldn't be heard. James, however, put a spell on himself so he'd say her name.
The plan was working perfectly.
"So, what do we do when people, you know," he started, "show they're interested in us?"
She shrugged. "I suppose we'll have to flirt a bit. People will be suspicious if someone asks me out and I say no since I told James at dinner I'd take anyone's offer over his."
She took his face in her hands. "We just need to know that it's not true," she whispered.
He smiled and leaned forward, kissing her for the first time since the Hogwarts Express trip back home in June. They had taken an empty compartment to say goodbye. Lily ran her hands through his hair and Sirius groaned.
She pulled away, rubbing her thumb on his cheek. "I wish I could stay here forever."
"Me too."
Lily didn't stay for Christmas that year, however the Marauders did. James had nicked most of the ingredients for the potion and they were going to start brewing it. The potion took a while to brew and brew right. People almost never got it on the first try.
"You got it?" Remus asked, seeing James bring his father's old cauldron into the room filled with ingredients.
"No," James deadpanned. "I carried all this up here for nothing."
He dropped the cauldron on the floor of the Room of Requirement and passed Remus the book with the procedure in it. "Do you think we'll get it first time?"
Remus shook his head. "I doubt it."
"Way to be optimistic!" Sirius said, looking at the ingredients in the cauldron. "This is going to taste horrible."
"I'm more concerned that you don't drink it and end up dead!" Remus said, looking down at the book.
James sat down next to Sirius and sent him a smirk. "So," he said. "Lily Evans looked pretty good today."
Sirius turned to glare at him for a moment and wanted to wipe the smirk right of his best friend's face. "Says the guy who hasn't kissed a girl."
James glared. "Have too!"
"Who?" Remus asked, looking up from the book. It was more than obvious that he didn't believe him.
"Yeah, who?" Peter looked excited to hear this bit.
James looked at Sirius and the latter boy laughed. "Give it up, James," he said laughing. "You're never going to kiss a girl until you get over Lily Evans."
"Yeah, well it's not my fault I'm in love with Lily Evans," he sneered darkly.
For the first time since they had made the plan, Sirius was afraid that James wouldn't stick to it.
"Did you hear?"
"James Potter asked out Marlene McKinnon!"
"No way! He got over Lily Evans?"
"It would appear so. And Sirius is mad."
"Why?"
"Apparently he wanted to ask Marlene too!"
"Lucky girl."
Sirius glared down the table at James. The story going around was that both James and Sirius liked Marlene McKinnon. Sirius didn't blame James for wanting a girl, but waiting until Lily was standing before him after just getting back and asking out the first girl that walked by was cruel.
Lily, of course, had run to him and asked what had happened. That was how Sirius found out and he was mad. Mad that James wouldn't tell him. Mad that James wouldn't just tell him that he liked Marlene and they could tweak the plan.
He didn't want to deprive James of happiness, but he didn't want to deprive himself of it either.
"I think we shouldn't see each other for a while," Lily had told him a few days before, tears welling in her eyes.
"What?" Sirius had asked, pulling her into his arms. "Why?"
"This was a bad idea in the first place."
Sirius had shaken his head. "No it wasn't."
"We're just going to end up with our hearts broken in the end," she had cried. "We can't depend on James and the more we sneak around the more chances there are for people to catch us."
Sirius glared down the table at James, shaking his head at the memory. Remus sat down across from him and rolled his eyes. "You should be happy he's not bothering Lily anymore."
Sirius turned to Remus in shock. Had he really figured it out? "What?" he sputtered. "Why?"
"Because," Remus said, grabbing a piece of toast from the basket. "Now we don't have to worry about her killing him."
Sirius laughed nervously. "Yeah, I suppose."
"He's back!"
Sirius turned to Remus as his friend sat down on the couch opposite Sirius's chair. Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Who's back?"
"James," Remus said exasperated, leaning his head back and groaning. "You want to know what our bonehead of a friend did?"
"I can't imagine."
"He broke up with Marlene!" Remus groaned. "Apparently it was mutual. That wouldn't be bad, but then he runs to Lily and sings the new Celestina Warbeck song while on one knee and holding her hand!"
Sirius chuckled a bit at the image that found its way into his head, but the smile on his face was large because James was back with the plan. He'd have to ask him about it later. "Where is our hopeless romantic now?"
At this, Remus grinned. "The Hospital Wing with a bunch of boils on his face."
James returned to the dorms just before curfew, his face still puffy and red where the boils were sinking back into his face as a remedy. He touched one on his cheek and frowned before looking up at his friends. "Don't say a word," he hissed.
Learning from his mistake, Sirius just shook his head, not wanting to make James angry again. Remus rolled his eyes. But the best reaction came from Peter, who looked at James with his eyes wide.
"She really got you!"
At this, though, Sirius had to laugh. The three unblemished Marauders kept their chuckles as James curled up in his bed. After a while, Peter fell asleep and Remus drifted off as well. However, Sirius stayed up until he knew Remus-the-lightweight wouldn't wake up and turned to James. "Hey, why'd you break up with Marlene?" Sirius whispered.
From his position facedown on the bed with his head in the pillow, James shrugged. "It's more fun making Evans mad. And I felt bad, but mostly because seeing Evans angry is hilarious."
The rest of the year continued rather uneventfully. James continued to chase Lily. Sirius continued to meet Lily in private, well aware that Regulus's eyes were on him for any information his mother would want or need. Sirius wasn't going to give him anything though and he took Lily places that no one aside the Marauders even knew about.
Summer break came and went like it always did. Sirius remained at Number 12 for most of the summer, leaving to go to James's for the final week of August - something his mother agreed with only because his uncle Alphard made her. In that final week of August, they tested out the potion.
This potion would give them a brief look into what their animal would be, but then they needed to perfect the spell. The transfiguration part was the hardest and it would be a wonder if all of them were successful.
James, of course, McGonagall's little transfiguration genius, got it first.
"Dumb prick!" Sirius shouted jokingly when he walked into the dorm to find a full grown stag standing by the door. "I can't believe you!"
"I can't either," Remus said, walking forward to pet James's fur. "You did it!"
James had gotten it in October, Sirius in January, and Peter in June. He didn't tell Lily because telling Lily would mean he'd have to tell her about Remus's condition. Even with Sirius's best puppy dog eyes, which now he could give her literally, Lily wouldn't fancy finding out he was an Animagus just 'for the Hell of it' and she'd be angry. So, he kept it a secret, something he was getting better and better at.
The summer before sixth year they'd transfigured paper so they didn't have to exchange owls. One day, after a particularly horrible argument with his father, Sirius found the parchment full of notes and scribbles in each of his friends handwritings.
I told Lily about Moony, Remus wrote, referring to himself in the nicknames they had made after Peter transformed.
You what? Moony, that's a horrible idea! Or, at least that's what Sirius thought James's messy scrawl said. It was hard enough to read when he wrote slow.
I said, I told Lily about Moony. Just because she hates you, Prongs, doesn't mean I don't get along with her.
Yeah, she's nice to me. Peter.
Why is she nice to everyone except me?
Because, Prongsie-poo, Sirius couldn't help but reply, you make her life a living Hell.
Not my fault! If she just agreed to go out with me, then we wouldn't be in this situation.
Well, sorry, Prongs, but she's dating Andrew Poste, Remus replied. You know, the Ravenclaw a year ahead of us.
Sirius groaned. He hated it when Lily 'dated' other people. It never lasted long. A date here or there and then she'd be over it and be single again. Sirius did the same thing and he knew it hurt her as much as it hurt him, but to make their story believable, they had to date other people. It would be too suspicious.
Poste? You've got to be kidding! That guy's a pompous jerk!
Says the guy who can't fit his head through the portrait hole.
I can too, Moony!
Can not.
Can too! What do you say, Wormy?
I have to agree with this Moony on this one, Prongs.
"What is that?"
Sirius spun around coming face to face with his father. Orion Black was a tall man, easily towering over Sirius, who was far from short. The younger Black hid the parchment behind his back, seeing Regulus stick his head in the doorway to see. He glared and Regulus smirked.
"Sirius!"
"What?" he asked, trying to come off as calm but really sounding like a petrified child. As much as he hated his father and argued with him all the time, he was still intimidated by him. Every time.
"I asked you what that parchment was," Orion said, using wandless magic to remove the parchment from Sirius's hands and bring it to himself. Sirius sighed, knowing the situation was only going to get worse. "Who is Lily Evans?"
When Sirius didn't answer, Orion turned to the door. "Regulus?"
"She's a Mudblood, father," Regulus replied, standing up straighter and dutifully replying. "She's in Sirius's year. A Gryffindor. Potter's been after her for years."
Orion tutted. "I always knew the Potters were blood traitors. Nearly as bad as the Weasleys."
Sirius glared. "James's family is more noble than ours," he muttered.
And that was it. The straw the broke the camel's back, as Lily had taught him. Orion turned to him, his wand pointed at his chest. His father's eyes, already a fierce black color, seemed to get darker and murkier. Regulus's eyes widened in the corner and Sirius heard Kreacher ask if he could get Regulus anything, but his younger brother shooed him off.
"Get. Out. Now." Orion pointed his wand at Sirius's school things, placing everything he would need in his trunk before turning on his heel and exiting the room, beckoning Kreacher, who had only gone outside the room, to follow him. He stopped at the door and turned. "If you think the Potters are so wonderful, join them. Regulus, you're wanted in the study."
Orion swept from the room, his robes billowing behind him. Regulus stared wide-eyed, turning from the doorway to Sirius and back again, fear alight in his eyes. As Sirius went for his trunk, Regulus shook his head.
"He doesn't mean it, you know," Regulus said quickly. "He's just angry."
"He means it, Reg."
Regulus continued to shake his head. "You're not actually going to go, are you? Where will you stay? What will you do?"
Sirius shrugged. "There's not much else I can do."
Being a pro at cover stories by now, when Sirius had arrived at the Potter home, he told them he ran off. It was a much better story to say he ran away than he got kicked out. In fact, later that year, when Regulus pulled him aside, he said their parents had told their friends that as well. When his mother blasted him off the family tapestry, it was because he ran off, because kicking him out was an even more horrible image placed in the Black name. Even within the dark, wealthy family circle that the Blacks belonged to, kicking a child out who didn't do anything - like running off with a Mudblood (Andromeda) or marrying a Weasley (Cedrella) - was barbaric, especially when you had even the slightest glimmer of bringing them back to the right side.
"James told me," Lily said one day when they met in the Room of Requirement. "I'm sorry about what happened. I can't believe you ran away!"
Sirius shrugged. "It happens."
It happened quickly. He should've known too, which is why he felt so horrible for days and days after. He could barely get out of bed. The rumor going around was that he was ill, but Remus and Peter knew he just felt horrible about almost revealing Moony.
It was only James that knew the real reason, as always.
Sirius rolled over. He hadn't been to class in a week and McGonagall was beginning to worry. She was constantly in there checking on him. James just stared at him, confused about whether to be angry or sad. Peter tried to make him feel better while catering to Remus. Like always, Remus forgave his stupid antics.
Lily didn't.
"Sirius! I can't believe you would be that stupid," she had yelled. "He could've been hurt! He could've died!"
"I thought you hated Snape!" Sirius had roared.
She shook her head. "Why does that matter?" she had asked, turning on her heel and walking down the hallway.
Sirius knew now that he should've know telling Snape how to get into the Shrieking Shack on a full moon was a terrible idea that wouldn't just affect Snape, but would affect Remus too. He should've known that Lily wouldn't like it. He should've known that, and he probably did, but it just didn't click until it was too late.
After a week, Sirius got out of bed and began doing what he did best. He suppressed his feelings. He did just as he was taught years ago at House of Black. Lily did the same. It was almost as if she had learned the same tricks.
James mellowed in asking Lily, but continued for a few weeks, just so no one would catch on that he was stopping. It was gradual, and to the students of Hogwarts, it appeared that James had finally gotten over the redheaded girl.
Sirius knelt beside Lily and James's graves, hoping one day to do it as a liberated man. He'd been there everyday since he escaped from Azkaban, since that first day. It was habit. He would have to take Harry sometime, show him around.
He sighed as a shadow appeared behind him. Sirius turned and smiled at Remus, who stuffed his hands in the pockets of his ragged robes. "What are you doing here?"
Remus shrugged. "Do you come everyday?"
Sirius nodded. "Of course."
They were silent for a few more moments as Remus sat down on the grass beside Sirius. It was a warm summer day and in a few days Harry would be arriving at Number 12. The Weasleys were already there, as was Hermione. Both Marauders though were looking forward to the arrival of the last remaining Potter.
Remus fidgeted beside Sirius. "I have a question."
"Shoot."
"Did you really love her?"
Sirius turned quickly to Remus and tried to gage what he was asking. Just from the look on the werewolf's face, Sirius knew he had figured out the story. "How long have you known?"
"James told me, seventh year," Remus muttered. "He was confused. After he became Head Boy and he got to know Lily, he came to me and told me everything in complete confidence. Marauder's Honor, you know?"
Sirius sighed and placed a hand on the cool stone.
"It was a good fake," Remus continued, standing up and wiping the dirt from his robes. "I wouldn't of even guessed had James not come to me."
As Remus walked away, Sirius laid his head on the stone. He had done the impossible. He had escaped Azkaban. He had been on the run for two years. But, the more he thought about it, the more he realized his entire life was a lie.
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