Loss of Love
Love is storm and wind, then tide
All the tears your heart can hold
But I look back after loss of love
And find the days were gone
- Scott Walker
Natasha's P.O.V:
I was fighting people until they fell on their knees and begged me to stop. When they did that I knew I had made them suffer so I grabbed my handgun out and shot them all in the head. All of a sudden there was a huge explosion, I looked up and saw Clint running up to me. He picked me up and chucked me over his shoulder and ran for his life. I was kicking and screaming at him to put me down but he wouldn't let me budge.
We got to where we were meeting the quinjet to get back to the helicarrier and that's when Clint finally put me down. "WHAT THE FUCK CLINT?!" I yelled at him. He just looked at me with pity in his eyes. That's when I realised that Steve wasn't with us anymore. "Where's Steve?" He didn't answer. "Where the fuck is Steve, Clint?" Still no answer, but his eyes grew more and more pained every time I asked where Steve was. I took that to mean that Steve hadn't made it out of there. I broke down crying and I just couldn't stop the only person I trusted, other than Clint and Bucky, was dead and there was nothing I could do. I just fell to my knees with my head in my hands crying like there was no one left in the world to love me.
Before I even realised what was happening Clint was beside me pulling me onto his lap and I was pulled out of my thoughts. "Shhhh. Tasha, it's ok. I'm here. Nothing is going to happen to you. Shhh." He said that to me and I felt safe in his arms but I had already known that for ages. He was like a brother to me and he knew what to do when I was upset. Very few people got to see the emotional side of Natasha Romanoff. These few people were Clint, Bucky and… and… Steve. When I thought of this, my eyes were stinging even more and I realised that more tears were coming. Before I knew it, I was asleep and Clint was carrying me onto the quinjet that had arrived.
I had a nightmare on the quinjet and luckily Clint was piloting the quinjet so he could hold me until I calmed down. The nightmare was about Steve and it was horrible I kept seeing him dying and I couldn't do anything to help him. When I woke up I was in Bucky's sleeping quarters. It turns out that Clint had another mission and that I had been sleeping for a whole day. When I woke up all I saw was Bucky sleeping next to me pulling me closer when I tried to get out. I turned to face him. I was going to talk to him but I changed my mind when I turned around. I saw him in all of his handsomeness. I never realised how hot he actually was. It was because I was dating Steve that I didn't realise how hot his best friend was. But the thing is I was always attracted to Bucky I just never realised it until now. He was in nothing but pyjama pants and his dog tags. His body was toned you could see his muscles through any shirt he wore and they were good. All I did was get closer to him and mould into his side and go back to sleep.
When I woke up he was still sleeping so I woke him up. He looked at me with sadness in his eyes because of what happened with Steve. I looked up at him and we just stayed there gazing into each other's eyes for what felt like hours. We realised we were still staring and decided to get up and get ready for the day. We each had a floor to sleep in at Stark Towers but Steve and I had shared a floor and a room since we were together. I didn't want to go back to our floor yet; I wasn't ready so Bucky let me sleep in his room, on his floor, with him. I was sharing a room with someone who was also a super soldier. Why do I always go for the strong men she thought to herself. I mean honestly, I went for Clint when we first met, then I tried to get Thor but he said he was taken, then Steve and I got him and now I'm perfectly happy just sleeping in Bucky's bed with Bucky. What is wrong with me?
I got up and went to the bathroom to freshen up. I did my daily routine. Shower, get dressed, hair and go down to the team floor to have breakfast with the rest of the avengers, Pepper, Jane and Darcy. When we got down to the team floor, everyone was already there eating but they saved a spot and some food for Bucky and I. I sat down beside Pepper and then Bucky sat on the other side of me. We sat there in silence while everyone else engaged in conversation but they knew not to ask Bucky and me to join in because we just start crying and have to run off. They all knew what had happened to Steve and I was grateful for all their help. Tony was actually being nice and I was able to be around him more than usual. Tony had started to become a brother to me and that's probably why he was being so nice to me. I just lost someone that I loved and there was tony making sure that if I needed anything he was there for me and was there if I needed a hug or anything else I could think of. He actually offered to be one of my targets that I could shoot to get some of my anger and sadness out but I declined that offer because he was becoming so sweet and I started being able to actually stand him.
Pepper was my best girl friend and I never actually thought she would want to be my friend after what happened when we first met. We first met when I was sent undercover by Fury. My alias was Natalie Rushman and she despised me because she thought I was trying to take Tony away from her but to be honest when we first met I only put up with him because it was my mission. I had to save Tony's life. When Pepper found out they started bickering like an old married couple. Then when tony saved her they were on a rooftop talking and arguing and then all of a sudden they were kissing and I thought that Rhodey was going to be sick. I felt like I was going to be as well. Rhodey came to save me and he took me up to the same rooftop but we got there before Tony and Pepper and we were just talking and laughing when they got there. We just silenced and laughed at them quietly because of their bickering. Then all of a sudden they kissed and it looked like two seals fighting over a grape. I ran away laughing so they wouldn't hear me and Rhodey just sat there waiting for them to stop kissing. After the avengers had assembled Pepper and I had become good friends. And as for everyone else I just became friends with them instantly.