A/N: Hello! So this is my very first multi-chapter fic. This idea came into my head one night a few weeks ago, and it has stuck with me, and developed into quite a thing. Please don't be turned off by the description, I promise there will be a happy ending! A big thank you to DriftingWithoutAnAnchor from Tumblr for helping with a certain character name! And a big big thank you to my dear friend Handy-for-the-bus for all of her wonderful help, advice, and patience. I am really nervous about posting this, so please let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: I do not own Downton, or any of the characters or stories. That honor goes to Julian Fellowes.
It had been exactly 29 days since she had watched him roll away, wife in tow, down the lane. Away from Downton, and away from her forever. Did he have any idea that he had taken her heart with him? She had a feeling he did; she also had a feeling that he had left his behind with her.
She found herself constantly repeating his words from that night in her head over and over again, "Vera has reminded me that I am a married man. That I must give my vows another chance." She knew this was a lie. She knew that he hated that vile woman, and that he only truly loved her. She knew…and she clung to that knowledge everyday. Otherwise she feared for her sanity.
The people around her were worried, she could tell. Mrs. Hughes would try to give her extra tasks to keep her occupied, Lady Mary would chatter on about useless things so that they didn't have to talk about either of their lost loves. Even Thomas and O'Brien left her alone, which was a blessed relief.
It was at night that it was the hardest. Her mind consumed with thoughts of him. How they had dreamed of owning a hotel together, or how he had held her in the courtyard the night he had asked her to marry him (in a rather unconventional way). If she was feeling especially torturous she would think about the softness of his lips against hers; his hand in her hair, on her neck, on her waist pulling her into him. How she could feel all the pent up passion from their years together, and yet all the restraint of an uncertain future, just in that one kiss. She would try to freeze it in her mind; remember every little detail in its most specific form. She shuttered to think of what would happen if that memory faded. Then she would let the silent tears and muffled sobs that had become her routine lull her into a fitful sleep.
This was how she survived her days; business and memories. Clinging to the hope that he would some how, some way find his way back to her. She had to believe that. That somewhere he was out there, fighting for her; fighting for them and their future together. Some days she had more hope than others. It was on the 35th day that they were asked to stand to welcome the new valet. She inwardly cringed. She had silently prayed that Thomas would just stay, and be satisfied to fill the post, but of course he wasn't. This just seemed to be the last nail in the coffin; no more Mr. Bates.
"Allow me to introduce Mr. Peter Brooks, his Lordship's new valet." Mr. Carson's voice bellowed through the servant's hall.
Anna decided that she better be polite. It wasn't this poor mans fault that he was replacing the long lost love of her life. As everyone made their introductions she looked up to study him, she prided herself on her observation skills. He was handsome she supposed, and she knew the younger maids would have a field day with this one. He didn't have that arrogant look about him though, like Thomas so often did. In fact she noted that he had a very kind face. Slowly but surely the introduction line made its way to her. She held out her hand to him, "I'm Anna, the head housemaid."
That hit a major cord, but how else was she supposed to introduce herself? She cringed inwardly again, forced a smile on the outside, and shook the mans hand.
"It is a pleasure to meet you Anna, the head housemaid." He smiled genuinely back at her then turned to the others, "It's a pleasure to meet all of you, thank you for the warm welcome."
"Mr. Brooks, you will be shadowing Mr. Barrow for the remainder of the week, then you will begin your duties fully." Mr. Carson then instructed both men to be on their way.
As they left the room Anna made a mental note to do damage control after Thomas left for good. Mr. Brooks seemed kind, and she didn't want Thomas filling his head with nonsense that could cost him his job. Her life might be falling apart around her, but that doesn't mean she wants anyone else's to as well. Just as she felt a new batch of painful tears brewing, Lady Mary's bell rang. She put on her mask of acceptance, and set off for another busy day.