Title: Ázō
Author:
Psycholullaby
Rating:
NC-17
Pairings:
Envy/Hand (Envy/Ed? Envy/Ed's Hand? Ed/Ed's Hand? OH THE
POSSIBILITIES!!)
Genre:
Character Insight, Smut
Disclaimer:
I do not own FMA!
Duh.
Warnings:
Kinky Shape Shifter Masturbation, Mild Schizophrenia, and Blood Play!
Yum!
Notes: This is my first attempt at writing anything with this high of a rating as well as anything Envy centric.
People to Blame for this:
1. The Divinyls for this horrible song /ugcs.php?qITouchMyself.html&scripthtmlit
2. TheUrgeT0Herbal on youtube for this horrible video XD /watch?vhylb00QNECg
3. Hieronymousb for SENDING me said horrible video
4. Myself, for being a horrible person in general :P
(Ázō Gk ázō(os) without life : Greek a-, not; see a-1 + Greek zōē, life)
He hated him. With four-hundred-years' worth of concentrated resentment, he didn't simply hate the man, he loathed everything remotely Elric related, especially the Bastard's precious golden child, that piece of shit pipsqueak alchemist, Edward. Just thinking about the puny little fuck made his insides coil and fester into a thick, oily substance that coated his entrails and bubbled with revived abhorrence. He stalked back and forth across the room he designated his within the many corridors of the underground cathedral, practically shaking with barely contained rage.
She had given him an order. Dante specifically told him to stay away from the Elric brothers and allow them to detour from their search for the stone, because she was curious as to where alternative roads would take them. However, that condescending smirk of hers spoke more of distrust in him then actual interest in them. He opposed her decision of course, loud and eager to emphasize his own appetite for Edward's completion of the philosopher's stone. After all, once Dante had no further use for the boy, Ed would be Envy's alone, and the homunculus was impatient when it came to his cravings for revenge. The bitch knew that. They all knew that.
Dante had frowned at him, narrowing her eyes and sternly reminding him that she was not one for adhering to the demands of her pets. As much as Envy despised the woman's control over him, he recognized who played the part of master in their relationship, and as the eldest member of her brood he knew well enough not to cross the woman if he valued his existence. Envy immediately suppressed the impulse to maim the person contradicting him; biting back on his words with such haste he could taste blood. Once Dante dismissed him, he retreated to his dark corner in her palace to sulk.
Stupid, fucking, arrogant bitch! He screamed obscenities in his mind, but even in such a remote wing as the one he selected for his tantrum, he didn't dare speak aloud against her. He punctuated each mental stream of damnation with alternating growls, grunts, and exasperated sighs. He could feel the cold sweat of exertion evaporate off his heated skin with each weighted step he took, stomping into the floor and jerking his body forward. Stop. Turn. Repeat. The routine encouraged the build up of his frustrations and when he paced past the extravagant vanity for what had to be the fifteenth time since he stormed into the bedroom, Envy caught sight of himself in the mirror.
Anger surged through his body, venom coursing through his veins and poisoning his mind. With no one else around to lash out against, he drew back his arm and slammed his fist through the glass.
The metal framing of the mirror screeched against the blow, twisting unnaturally with the inhuman force of Envy's punch. A mass of tiny fractures assaulted the formerly smooth surface of polished metal and several shards flaked off, shimmering sadly as they plopped in the pools of blood forming on the countertop. Envy hunched over the dresser with his tattered arm planted firmly in the wall beyond the impaled piece of furniture, his entire form quaking from release. Glancing up, his face contorted by blind rage, he faced a thousand violet eyes burning with black fires only a soulless incarnate of sin could foster.
His rapid, wet gasping gradually faded into heavy panting. The tension in his shoulders slackened and Envy closed his eyes, pulling his shredded limb free along with a considerable amount of broken glass that clinked off the vanity edge as he withdrew. Standing before the mangled mirror, its center completely crushed, he could still make out his form repeating itself in the many segments of shattered glass. He stared at the product of his outburst, lifted his injured appendage, and considered it a moment before allowing his body to restore itself.
He continued to stare intently at his hand, flexing his fingers and turning the healed vestige various directions so he could view it from every angle. Once assured the results of the regenerating process met with his approval, he dropped his hand to his side and glared at his reflections. His current form of preference was thin, lithe, and toned, yet while he bragged to the others how he found his androgynous body absolutely adorable, he could not convince himself of personal satisfaction with his appearance. No matter how attractive he made himself to be, he never felt comfortable in his own skin when deep down he knew exactly whom he should resemble.
The familiar crackle of alchemic energy sizzled around him, lacing its way up his body and peeling his base flesh away to reveal the body and face he truly believed to be his own. He willed black leather to paint itself on his previously bare calves and thighs, a tank top and white trimmed jacket of the same color to materialize over his once naked midriff and scantily clad chest. His pale complexion gave into the healthy pigmentation of a young boy who spent is days embraced by the warm glow of the sun, and Envy's wild locks of black and rich pine green disciplined themselves into a loose, neat braid of auric-blonde silk. His eyes never left their fixed place upon the remains of the vanity and he watched liquid gold dilute his eerily purple-tinted irises, his face morphing itself into the vision of Edward Elric.
Envy felt his artificial heart begin to race and he stiffened upon facing the mocking image staring him down. Gritting his teeth, he refused to unleash his hatred for the boy he had turned himself into and opted for indifference instead. It was only Edward's indifference for Envy that the sin recognized in his reflection, and that wasn't a look he cared to see upon Fullmetal Shrimp's face.
Bronzed skin, soft features, eyes intense and seeking, even Envy was not so beyond himself not to silently admit his appreciation for effortlessly creating such an aesthetically pleasing figure. He brought a gloved hand to his face, watching the image of Edward gently stroke his cheek and tense. Envy pulled the hand away and scoffed at the glove, dissolving it so he could see the detailed automail he replicated beneath it. Even the brat's prosthetics embodied hidden desires Envy harbored but denied.
Edward was graced upon birth, welcomed into life with an inherited beauty bestowed upon him by idealistic genes and the love of parents who accepted and cherished him for the wonder he was. Edward belonged. He had a father who adored him, a mother who nurtured him, a brother who admired him, and friends who enabled him. Envy knew nothing of such luxuries.
He was an abomination, come unto the world by unnatural circumstance and discarded as a creature unworthy of life. He was hideous, distorted, and plagued by suffering no human could ever understand. His body was malformed, ugly, and wrong. His head screamed and everything around him was too bright, too dark, too hot, too cold, too loud, or too quiet. It was as if he was experiencing everything at once and then nothing at all. The inconsistency terrified him and drove him mad.
There was no one there to offer him comfort, to soothe his aching limbs and heart. Only Dante to tell him how fortunate he was that she would be so kind as to care for such a sick, disgusting, and helpless monster such as he. She made sure to remind him of what he was and how he came to be, and she embedded his father's name into Envy's brain. Hohenheim of Light was the prime example of how detestable humans really were, for he was the man who abandoned Envy, his own child, in favor of another, a child more deserving of affection then his first-born.
Envy had a man who shunned him, a master who manipulated him, siblings who did not acknowledge him, and comrades who considered him expendable for the sake of their own goals. This was all Envy knew and Edward was all Envy wanted. After centuries of being deprived of what he desired most, what he felt belong to him, denying a need for trivialities such as kindness was more convenient. He condensed all of his self-pity with two tons of bitterness until he purified his emotions into unadulterated spite. He no longer wished for all that Edward had, but simply to destroy everything the boy represented, the life that should be Envy's own.
Freeing himself from thoughts he didn't care for, a task that usually involved the distraction of slaughtering the inferior species abundant on the surface ground, Envy glanced back to the mirror at Ed's face, his fake hand still poised beside his cheek. He quirked an eyebrow, a devious smile sliding into place as he lowered his eyelids seductively before running his (Edward's) tongue up the side of his wrist and hand, lingering on the tip of his pinky. He watched the entire proceeds, smirking a moment before urging his facial muscles to relax. He traded his pinky for his index, pressing the digit to his bottom lip and slipping his tongue out to coat the finger with a generous amount of saliva before inserting it in his mouth and sucking.
He drew his brows together; agitated by the look Edward was giving him, and popped the finger from his lips, scowling. Standing for a moment, transfixed by the irate Edward watching him, a positively vicious idea occurred to him. Envy chuckled to himself before drowning out the sound of his quiet laughter with the fizzle of clothes unraveling at his command. In seconds, the Edward in the mirror was stripped down to just his boxers. Envy surveyed his work's reflection, then pulled the waistband of Ed's undergarments forward and studied the kid's anatomy.
Heh
Hell, if he was going to live up to his namesake so well, he should at least give the little shit something to merit his jealously. He tugged on the remaining clothing, dematerializing what remained of Edward's attire.
Standing naked as the object of his obsession, Envy admired his perfectly sculpted copy. Even lacking in height, Edward upheld a define air of masculinity written along the lines of broad shoulders and a toned chest. The boy's arms where thick from intense physical training, yet his frame was as lean as it was firm. His stomach was flat, his legs muscular, and if anything the mass of scar tissue around his shoulder and thigh magnified his beauty, serving as a memorial of his love and devotion. The sin found himself entranced by Edward's loveliness as well as disgusted by the cursed whelp.
Envy stepped backwards, moving Edward's body to the edge of the bed and lowering the boy, scooting his bum across the comforter and lifting his leg to use as leverage as he pushed himself further up the spread. From this angle, Envy relished his view of the boy's privates, the soft blonde fuzz that trailed the region below Edward's navel, lightly fluffed over his genitalia. Envy couldn't resist tracing the path of darkened hair with his metal hand; delighted by the chill it sent through Edward's body as he did so.
He extended his fingers, twisting them in the downy curls and caressing the base of Edward's blossoming erection with his fingertips. Ed inhaled sharply and took his lower lip in his teeth, shuddering as he emptied his lungs of the sudden intake of breath.
Envy positioned the alchemist's body far enough up the mattress that his back was pressed against the headboard before continuing his leisurely molestation of Edward's image, hooking his index finger beneath the stiffening cock and stroking it as if he meant to tickle the boy as opposed to arouse him.
Edward's flesh hand clenched in the sheets as Envy teased the teen, skating his finger along his growing length, lingering at the head and massaging him in gentle circles. Ed dug his heels in the mattress, straightening himself against the wood plank behind him. A small moan escaped his throat and he swallowed repeatedly, withholding additional sounds of pleasure. Yes, that was something Edward would do, and Envy assured himself that he would have Edward screaming to divinities of rejected faiths before he was through.
He craved Edward's cries, his moans and sobs, but most of all, the look of pain he could elicit in those ever-so expressive eyes and the acknowledgement he would find there; Edward's recognition that Envy was the only one capable of driving out the boy's emotions to this extent and that Envy was also the only one who could relieve the boy of the suffering the homunculus inflicted upon him. He wanted Edward to beg for freedom all the while knowing that Envy would never grant him escape. He wanted to be the center of attention in Edward's world, because Envy could find no liberation from his own fixation on Ed. He couldn't make the bastard understand the torture of living solely for want of another life, so he would torture him in the many ways the boy did understand, even if that fleeting pain was only a fraction of what Envy felt with every waking moment.
Envy encased Edward's now throbbing erection with his hand, moving with ease up and down his cock. He began with long, slow strokes, feeding into Edward's libido with calculated seduction and enjoying the shameless way Ed gave into Envy's touches. The younger man lifted his pelvis, encouraging Envy's movements and expressing his longing for his master's affections. The power trip spiked Envy's own sex-drive, or the closest the faulty human had to one.
Sex held no appeal for Envy, but the control aspect of using a human's own biological make-up against them sent shivers up and down his spine. It was the same intoxicating sense of euphoria he achieved when he held a child's life in his grasp, watching the vibrancy of a living being fade as he squeezed his fist tighter around its throat. Malice was the equivalent of hormones for Envy. It clouded his mind and made him careless and stupid, tripping up his rational thought with an all-consuming desperation for release. Where a human male would simply jerk his horniness away, Envy found resolution in massacre. The hot white build up of orgasm for him was the burst of a human heart, and the decent from climax a dimming pulse.
Dante knew that. She understood the mental wiring of her 'children' better than anyone, and yet she disregarded their 'feelings' without care for the torment it caused them. She knew Envy was in is room right now, writhing in his own, personalized hell of unsaturated need. She fueled his rancor for her own benefit, and intentionally insured that his thirst was never quenched. This was how she kept her position of power, with that smug little attitude and her infinite knowledge of this world and others. It was insulting for a superior being, such as Envy deemed himself to be, to have to depend on a filthy human.
Unconsciously, Envy increased his pace and Edward was now fully engaged in their sexual act, knocking his hips into the hand gripping him. Envy sneered in the back of his mind, becoming more brutal as he serviced Ed. The automail joints of Ed's fingers pinched his sensitive skin, tearing the tender flesh away with each thrust into his palm, and he let out a small cry of pain, tossing his head back into the banister, gasping, and bracing himself for further ravaging.
Envy cracked an eye open to view the look at his victim's face, flushed, panting and pleading. Ed was sweating profusely and Envy pulled up on his cock with the extra force necessary to entice another choked sob out of Edward's throat.
He wasn't disappointed.
Ed doubled over, shaking and whining in agony as blood oozed from between his fingers. Envy forced himself to focus, savoring Edward's expression. The blonde's hair was sticking to his forehead and cheeks, clinging to his damp shoulders and neck. His eyes glimmered, begging for both physical and sexual release, and his lip quivered just so when Envy pulled forward again and slid his hand down the boy's member, squeezing at the base until Ed submitted, howling his anguish.
Edward always was a stubborn prick, a personality trait Envy could emphasize with even when the fact didn't lessen the scorn for his enemy. He grit his teeth together, nostrils flaring as his chest heaved with each labored breath. Envy was relentless. Using Ed's own blood as lubricant, he slipped his hand up and down the kid's shaft, tugging rough, receding smooth: a violent contrast which sent Edward sprawling in the covers.
Envy struggled to prop himself up with his flesh elbow, peering across the room at the increasingly blurry image of glistening male. There was a rapid fluttering in his lower belly and the tendons of his thighs twitched, muscles contracting as a rush of heat exploded throughout his entire body. Ed arched his back, eyes wide and mouth gaping; his strangled wail a vain attempt at silencing the vocal announcement of his climax; an unwanted orgasm wrought by his hated foe. The convulsion lifted Ed and held him suspended in the void between bliss and humiliation, but the moment was gone in a second's eternity, and Envy was plunged back into solitude.
The Homunculus shivered, lying limp on the bed; his ragged breathing and the pounding of an imitation heart his sole company. The cooling perspiration on his skin chilled him, and he was only faintly aware of the dull ache between his legs, having grown accustom to far worse sensations. It was really more of an annoyance then anything, and once his body returned to a state more stable then useless jelly, he would morph the damage away.
Then what?
The invasive question wasn't one he'd intended for his mind to conjure, and he took it as a sign that it was time to move. Rising up into the sitting position, he surveyed the room, pausing on the broken glass featuring Edward's face before lowering his eyes to his lap. Envy had reduced Edward's crotch to a mess of bloody tissue. He picked his right hand from the comforter and turned it palm up to inspect its contents. Pieces of the boy's shredded gender stuck to his fingers in a mixture of red and white. His gaze never leaving his prize, he changed back into his favored form, mending his wounds, but leaving the remnants of his encounter to crust on a now flesh hand.
Envy's life echoed his birth and he was no fool. Dante had been so proud when she'd created Pride, the homunculus capable of aging as a human does, but that woman was the true fool if she believed homunculi were capable of any genuine development. Their existence was like the alchemic circles that summoned them, an endless repetition. He knew he was being used as assuredly as he knew the futility of his own ambitions, but he didn't care. He'd burned his hatred into his very being, and the pointlessness of his pursuit of anything didn't faze him anymore. Really, when nothing he did served any productive purpose, his version of 'living' was no different then being dead.
Envy clenched his fist, a white flash obliterating the stains within it. He lunged himself from the bed, hands on his hips as he strolled to the doorway. This little activity was supposed to clear his head, not instigate some fucking deep-thought session. Intent on ridding himself of clarity he did not wish to possess, he elected for chaos in its place and took his leave of Dante's underground palace. Just because he couldn't kill the Elrics didn't mean he couldn't kill a few insignificant humans to bide the time and keep his mind from unraveling on account of rationalization.