How the villagers got SHREKT
Author notes: Ok this is a BIG WARNING for everyone who wants to read this. This is a story I imagined in my head what would happen to those ten villagers, who had gone to hunt for Shrek in rather realistic point of view. I put my best to write it as brutal and disgusting as possible. So if you think it´s too gross for you stop reading this immediately. Rated M for violence and brutality.
Our story begins in the village, to be more precise in the pub. Most of the villagers gathered there, drinking their beer quietly. No one said anything, until one man stood up from his chair and said"All right, I think it´s everyone. We are all here for one reason. And that reason is the monster."
The rest of the men began to whisper about it. "That one very bastard killed one cow, three sheep and countless chicken so far. We must do something about it!" the man continued.
"But why is he doing that James?" Frank asked him. "I don´t know, but all he is doing is he tears their eyes out and then somehow kills the animal." He replied and added "the cow had her head shredded to pieces. Without the body you wouldn´t even recognize a cow."
"One sheep had her chest ragged to parts. I saw all her guts on the ground in a pool of blood. The second sheep was decapitated, but he is not using any tools. He is doing it with his own hands and I think he enjoys it."
James kept on telling the things Shrek had done. "The third sheep had all her legs torn off. They were lying few meters from the corpse. And the chicken...well there was not much from the chicken left. They all were crushed into the ground. I assume he jumped on them."
The description of Shreks actions made them scared. Joe even screamed in terror and ran out of the pub. The rest of them looked at the running wimp, but James continued "We always find the disfigured bodies, but the eyes...never. He always takes them."
He made few steps and kept on speaking. "While we are sitting here and drinking our fucking beer, he might be outside killing more animals...and what more, maybe if we won't kill him, he starts to kill people for his perverse enjoyment."
His inspiration speech made the other villagers furious. "But how we kill him and why are the eyes always missing? Have anyone seen him yet?" Tommy asked out loudly. "I saw him." sounded from the corner. Everybody looked in the sounds direction.
It was an old blind man called Shawn. He was wearing leather pants and tunic and had his eyes covered with a piece of leather. There was silence, as the other villages waited for him to keep on speaking.
"He was about nine feet tall, green, ugly giant. That son of a bitch threw me down on the ground and took my eyes out of my eyeholes." Shawn continued.
"Thanks to him I´m blind now. My son Alvin saved me. When he saw that happening he took pitchfork and stabbed the ogre into his back. But the monster grasped his throat and gripped him so hard he broke his neck. Then he probably ran away. And I guess he eats the eyes, but I am not sure."
They all listened to him curiously until the old man finished "Go and kill him! Revenge my son!...and my eyes." James ventured as the first one and said "I am going, now who is with me?" there was deadly silence in the pub.
Until eventually Frank said "Eh fuck it I´m going too!" Tony finished his beer and shouted "Yea let´s kill that fucker!" In the end total of ten men agreed they will hunt for him.
"Ok it will happen tonight while he is asleep. Grab pitchforks and torches. We meet outside in five minutes. Got it?" James asked. "Yea!" The men cheered with one voice.
After some time those ten brave or crazy villagers gathered in front of the pub with their weapons ready. "Good now let´s get moving" James said and the other followed him.
The group of ten jogged out of the village, trough a corn field and a forest into the swamp. Bill helped the others to light the torches, because it was getting dark. They emerged out of reed and saw the ogres hut.
"It shines from indoors, which means he must be inside." James said. "Let´s get him!" They screamed and wanted to run to the door. But suddenly Dale yelled in terror. They turned around and saw it.
Shrek was standing behind them. They all froze in place, not willing to move as they saw that huge ugly monster. Shrek used his mighty roar which made the light of their torches fade away. All of the men screamed in terror, not being able to see anything.
They ran away in all directions and Shrek began to hunt them. But the bravest of them named Scooter stood on his place, pointing the pitchfork forward on his head. Shrek smiled, grabbed handle of the tool and broke the pitchfork with the twist of his wrist.
He then took the rest of the wooden handle and he trig it into the man's stomach, penetrating him clearly. His blood was gushing out of his back and front. The man fell down on his knees, holding the blood covered handle tightly with his hands, until he fell on the ground and bleed to death.
Shrek left him lying and began to run and catch more. One fat farmer just couldn´t run fast enough. He heard Shreks steps as he was being chased. Mike instinctively threw his pitchfork where he thought the ogre was. But unfortunately for him, he missed.
He made few more steps, but Shrek caught him and brought him down on the ground, which blown his socks off. Shrek finished him with one mighty slam of his foot on his chest. This broke several of Mike's ribs, which shredded his lungs.
He was coughing blood out and gasped for the air. But in the end he suffocate himself with his own blood. Shrek kept on running to catch more. Soon he found another man hiding behind a tree.
Shrek smiled, sneaked behind him and grabbed his hands. Dean yelped from terror and the ogre immediately severed his arms from his torso with ease.
The man screamed from pain loudly as the blood escaped from his shoulders. "My arms!" Soon the blood covered everything around him. Dean blacked out and on his chest, face down, dying in pain. The rest of seven gathered in the middle of the swamp.
"James! We must get out of here, or the ogre will kill us all!" Richard shouted on him. "No, we came here to get rid of him. And I always finish what I start." James responded. "You will kill us all!" the man responded and ran away.
"Noooo! Stay with us!" James was trying to stop Richard. But it was too late. The rest of them stayed together. As the fleeing man run, he got lost. Out of nowhere Shrek appeared, grasped his legs and lifted Richard up. Unfortunately for the man, he dropped his pitchfork on the ground.
Then Shrek murdered him with a slam of Richards head over a stone. His skull shattered into pieces and his brain was mashed. The rest of the men didn´t even hear how one of their friends died.
They were wading through the swamp and none of them heard or saw a shit. Shrek meanwhile sneaked to his pray and dived into the marshlands. The villagers walked in circle, covering each other's back.
But out of nowhere Shrek grasped ankles of Frank and immediately pulled him down to the swamp. He screamed for help and the others tried to help him by stabbing into the swamp, but only hit Frank that screamed from pain, until he drowned in the swamp and his body disappeared from the landscape.
In the end the bog turned red. But it was the blood of their companion, not the beast. The rest of them were so terrified from what they saw and heard that one of the men couldn´t take it any longer.
With tears in his eyes Andy took his pitchfork and stabbed himself, piercing his hearth. The four of them tried to stop him, but it was too late, as he fell on the ground, lifeless. "Jesus Christ! He killed himself!" Dale shouted.
"Keep calm and stay together, then we might survive this." James encouraged the rest of his team. And then they saw him. The mighty ogre stood in front of them, covered in mud and blood. "You bastard!" Felix yelled towards him, charging forward.
He was running fast, pitchfork aiming on Shreks head. But the monster dodged his stab and smashed his fist into the man's face as well as grabbing the pitchfork. Felix fell on the ground with broken chin and Shrek stabbed him into his crotch, pinning him to the ground.
The man shrieked from extreme pain that was running through his body, as his own weapon pierced his dick, balls and tights. As he was pinched to the ground he couldn´t move a muscle, but Shrek didn´t kill him just yet to make him suffer as much as possible.
Another man charged for his death. Shrek disarmed him, grasped his chin and torn his head of his neck. It was so fast that Ted couldn´t even scream before he died. The blood spurted in gallons and covered Shrek in even more blood. The headless body of the man then fell down on the ground.
"I was wrong. Let´s run for our lives!" James hastily suggested to the other man. Together they turned around and ran away, rushing next to each other. But they didn´t get far, because Shrek was much faster than they were.
Jame and Bill escaped him for only about thirty seconds, until Bill cried out in pain. He looked down and saw the ogres hand protuberant of his belly. Shrek pulled his blood covered hand out of the man's back the dead body fell down.
"Noooo!" James screamed and stabbed the ogre into his stomach. Shrek groaned in pain. James grinned and pushed him on the grass, pushing his pitchfork even deeper inside the monsters belly. But that didn´t stop Shrek just yet.
The ogre stretched his hands and grabbed Jameses head. He brought him down to the ground, kneeling on top of the fortuneless man. Shrek then forced his thumbs into the man's eye holes. James quivered, trying to stop him, but he couldn´t do anything.
James screeched in pain as ogre's fingers penetrated his eyes. Shrek heard a little crack before he broke his head open. Blood and his squashed brain leaked out of his head. Shrek tumbled on his back and pulled the pitchfork out of his stomach.
He then staggered and stood up on his feet, walking to his hut. He was breathing heavily as his green blood was dripping out of his wound. But thanks to his fast regeneration it was gone in no time. After he had some rest in his armchair, he walked out.
It was morning already. Shrek had gone through his swamp and saw the dead bodies of the men that came to kill him. First he saw the one that had his crotch pinned to the ground. He died from blood loss.
Shrek lowered to the corpse and popped out his eyes, putting them into a jar he had taken with himself. He then found all ten bodies and took all of the eyes he could found.
Except the ones of James, because they were squashed. The ones of Frank, who drowned in the swamp, because only after few hours his body became to decay and neither the eyes of Richard, who had his head shredded to pieces because he slammed it on the stone. He just couldn´t find his eyes in that bloody mess.
So it was fourteen more eyes on his toast. He went back to his hut, leaving the dead bodies lying where he killed them. Just to warn anyone brave or crazy enough who would try to finish what the villages started.
He didn´t care about the rest, nature will take care itself. Shrek went back to his house, sat to his table and made himself a finest breakfast of toasts and eyes.
THE END
Author notes: You might have been thinking I am crazy and yea maybe I am. Heh so did you like it?... probably not, but if yes you are a fucking perverted freak!