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your dirty mouth full of honest lies
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Penny isn't stupid by half but she can't comprehend what she is hearing.
Leonard doesn't even look ashamed. He does, however, keep looking at her and she can barely hold still for trembling (and she wishes she could take that kiss back because she hadn't wanted to touch something so casually cruel). He's justified himself, has been thoroughly vindicated and can he not see what he's done? Because- though he keeps looking at her- she has not once taken her eyes off Sheldon. Sheldon who plans for the zombie apocalypse but has not once thought to plan for this (and whatever this was she cannot call it by name). Because she had waited three months for this man and yes, her heart had grown fonder but what came back form the ice had no heart at all (and she thinks she has spent this whole time waiting for someone who was never really there).
Sheldon is so unbearably still, like he's gazed upon Medusa herself; it seems that nothing will move him again.
Penny has no such compunction. Her voice is thick but gets higher and higher because this, this? How can he forgive this? (How can she when she has spent her whole life reaching for something better only to have her hand slapped away and he was supposed to be the good guy here, he was supposed to be good.)
She's come undone, can hear the pounding in her ears and she is half screaming. She just wants Leonard to shut up and see what trust he's broken but he is not getting why she's upset, only see's that she's not on his side and that she's supposed to be his.
She only stops when Raj grabs her arm and she nearly elbows him in the nose. But she catches herself and she catches on. Sheldon looks overwrought and how could she have been so thoughtless? Because she has just made it worse, hasn't she?
He heads to his room, wordless, and she pushes Leonard out of her way so she can follow. She's desperate to hear him talk again, at all, and when was this her life? That Sheldon is capable of making her heart ache?
(since always she thinks)
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[author's note]: wrote this last year, before my laptop crashed and took 5 things with it. honestly, this episode still kinda burns me.
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