A/N: I sort of took some of the lines from the series finale. Credit to That 70s Show Producer. I OWN NOTHING.
The locks of her blond hair came into my view. Every single memory, kiss, and touch I shared with her came flooding back to me. Still, the vision of her, the thought of her, could still surprise me with the radiating beauty. After all these years, it was hard to believe that I could still love her. That maybe, she could possibly love me back too. I held my bag over my shoulder and looked at her, sitting atop of my car. All those memories with it. The most important one, our first kiss. When she pressed her lips against mines and then walked away. She left me sitting there, daydreaming about what we could be.
Her hands were together, her head was down, as if she was thinking, maybe slightly sad. But I couldn't change that right now. But I could try to make her better. "Happy New Year." My own voice had its own sorrow. I wasted this whole year, thinking I had to find myself. When all I needed was her. If I had her, everything would be okay. She would be all I need. Her blond locks turned around and her beautiful face came into view. Her feet hit the ground, staring at me as if I was not really standing there.
I gazed into her eyes for a moment. "Eric." As my name slipped out of her mouth, I looked away for a moment, setting my bag down. I really couldn't say anything. I was stuck for words. "Um, sorry I'm late. I caught the last flight out." Ugh. I ruined it. I had a possibility to say anything I could and I had to say that? I took a couple steps toward her, looking at her. She was slightly smiling. It was as if she was suppressing her smile. Like this was all a dream, and the happiness would be ripped out from under her. But this was real. It was reality. Right now.
"So, uh.." I smiled a bit, chuckling nervously like a young kid on a first date. "Awkward." I had to pass the awkward-ness with a joke. That was just a part of me. We shared a laugh, a slightly real laugh. Somehow, it felt like old times. Just the two of us, laughing, really laughing. It was time to get serious now. "So, how are you?" I started with a general question, trying to get conversation going. "I'm good." I was really hoping she was telling me the truth. I kind of knew she would be doing just fine without me. She was always strong by herself. She needed no guidance.
She leaned against the Vista Cruiser slightly, maybe for support. She did not look like she was fine. "I start college next week." Oh. "Oh." I was surprised. She was doing something good in her life. I was the one who hadn't pushed her to keep her life going. I hadn't done any of those things. I was the selfish one to go away. "That's awesome." I really couldn't say that my words were full of joyful-ness. They were pretty much dead. "Yeah." She didn't look me in the eye, maybe as if she was ashamed or something. Although, I knew it would be good for her.
She looked up at me, her eyes threatening for tears. I held it in, trying not to hold her in my arms right then and there. She looked like she had so much pain inside her. Maybe, and I'm probably right, I caused her that pain. "So what? You just came back here for New Years Eve?" How could she say such words? I couldn't believe she thought I was leaving. I could never leave again. Not after seeing her. She would be all I ever need now. I took a couple steps toward her, looking down before trying to face her.
"Look Donna," I took a sigh in, trying to gather up my words. "When I left I was so positive that I was doing the right thing." I looked her in the eye, for real this time, telling her the words I meant this time. "But now, I've been gone so long-" She cut me off, getting her words in, her opinion in.. "Eric, things are a lot different now." She took a breath in, trying to hold her tears in. I could see it in her eyes, she had been through so much pain while I was gone. I pressed my lips together, and tried to gather my thoughts. "I know."
I sighed a bit, and looked at her. It was time to confess all the things that I've wanted to say to her. All the things I've longed to tell her. "It's just, Donna, I thought about you, like, everyday." My feelings were pouring out right then and there. And maybe, it just wasn't the time. But I loved her. I needed, wanted, her to know these feelings. She nodded to my words, still trying to keep it in. She looked away a bit, sniffling, still hanging in there, strong as ever. "And you what? It turns out that, um, Red was right."
Those words, were some I thought I would never say. Red had never been right about anything that ever turned up. Never. But now, I'm finding myself thinking that he was right. Right about this. "I am a dumbass." A smile and laugh. My favorite laugh echoed into my ears, making me do the same. Her laugh was the most greatest thing about her. One of the things that I loved about her. Things turned serious, as I opened my mouth to speak.
"Donna, I'm sorry." She sniffled and motioned toward me, pressing her lips against mines, wrapping her arms around my neck. I couldn't have wished for anything better from this. I wrapped my arms around hers, letting myself get wrapped up in the moment. Our lips moved together ever so slowly, making up for the time wasted apart. As she pulled away a bit, I longed for more and gave one last kiss before parting. Her hands slid down my jacket, my hands holding hers, as our foreheads touched, not saying anything for fear of ruining the moment. Everything that we missed out on, all the time wasted, all the memories from Africa, nothing compared to the feeling of when we kissed.
She looked into my eyes and wiped away a tear, smiling at me. I smiled, as she gave a chuckle, fulfilling my heart's desire. We moved to sit on the Vista Cruiser, my words breaking the silence. "So, uh, it sounds like there's a party going on in there." "Yeah. There is." She replied quickly to my general question. I had to make conversation, otherwise, we'd be stuck making out until next year. Heh. My thoughts are clever. "Your mom's like really drunk." She chuckled, thought she could understand why she would be drunk, never before seeing her drunk. "Oh, great." Sarcasm dripped form my voice, never hearing such words.
I looked inside my house, wondering if everything was going to go back to how it was. Or if it was going to be different, not that I had left and came back. "Man, I don't know if I'm ready for all that. I wish there was some way to take the edge off." My words slightly lingered, trying to gather up my thoughts, wondering what to say.
I looked at her, wondering what she could possibly be thinking. "What's on your mind?" I tried to be the more gentleman one. The type that I wasn't before. This time, everything would be better. She looked at me, more joyful than I've ever seen in her eyes tonight. She shook her head, her blond locks slightly moving. I smiled and almost chuckled. It wasn't such a funny thing, but I had to laugh to break the tension. "Nothing, really." She folded her hands and stretched them out, making me smile a bit more.
She had that slight awkward-ness still, the same thing that I fell in love with her years ago. I smiled at her and insisted that she tell me what she was thinking. Not in a aggressive sort of way, but a gentle sort of way. She smiled and looked at me. We locked eyes for a bit, a connection filling in us. We were both searching for something that we assured us of things we needed to know. All the unanswered questions just couldn't wait.
I could see it in her eyes that she had some questions she wanted to know. Something along the lines of, "Will I be staying?" or, "If I love her?" or something like, "Can you make sweet love to me, just because I have no idea if you're going to say?" I grabbed her hands, making her flinch. Gently I reassured her that she was the only thing on my mind, since I left. She nodded, her head tipping down, not looking at me. I swallowed, hard. I had hurt her in a such a way I don't think I could ever fix.
There wasn't anything that could be undone now. I hurt her, and I don't think I could ever fix it. I could only try to make new hope, hoping I would never hurt her. "Donna," I started, but suddenly all the words I had wanted to say, should have said, got stuck in my throat. She looked up at me, pressing her lips together, keeping herself as strong as ever. She expected me to say something, but I don't think that I could do that. I was capable of so much, but it was conscience that held me back. I pressed my lips against hers for the second time today and I felt the sensation between us. I could tell this was real love between us.
She leaned back on the Vista Cruiser, as I went and laid atop her, wrapping on hand around her waist, and the other in her hair. Slowly, I entwined my hand in her hair, making her kiss ever so slowly. Her hands wrapped around my neck pulling me closer. We kissed for a long time, not coming up for air for a while. I could feel her smiling under my lips. I could tell she wanted more, but we were on top of a car, on a public place, right outside of my house, by the screen door. We slowed our kissing, our lips moving completely slow, just pressed against each other. She pulled her lips away from mines, only to look at me. She gave a small smile, hoping that this wasn't it. Hoping that it was all for keeps. That we could be us, again.
"I love you." My voice was inaudible as I mouthed the words against her lips. She understood and closed her eyes, tears welling up behind her eyelids. My hand, untangled itself from her hair, and caressed her cheek softly. She opened her eyes and looked at me. Silence fell upon us, no words being spoken for a long time. We needed silence, there was no time for awkward conversation, or an attempt at one either. Her eyes stared into mine, like there was an answer to her many questions in there. I just needed to be by her, to be near her, to have her, just like before.
We laid there for a couple more minutes, waiting for some kind of signal to depart, maybe for a sign, letting us know that we shouldn't be together. Not after all this time. "Maybe we should go back inside." Her voice startled me, breaking me out of my dream-like state. "Uh, if you think we should." That was practically the only thing I could think of to say. She unwrapped herself from me, as I rolled over to one side, making sure I didn't fall. We slid off the car and started walking toward the house.
We didn't speak the entire night after we walked inside. We might have shared a New Years hug, but that was the most. Everyone poured champagne and drank 'til the were drunk. I not so much. I drank maybe a couple glasses of champagne, but that was it. After everyone filed out of the house, I excused myself, got ready for bed, and tossed myself into my sheets. I didn't sleep, for lack of my brain. I cursed at in, of course in my mind, but not out loud. Red would probably think I had some disease, and ship me back to where I came from. I sighed silently, trying to shut my eyes. I didn't blame Donna. I understood what was happening. I got what she was feeling, and somehow, I was okay with that, for now. But sooner or later, maybe tomorrow, I would get somewhere.
*****
The sun seeped into my window as I rose, jumping into the shower. I dressed myself, and walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, trying to make the least possible noise ever. Knowing this New Years, there would probably be some hangovers today. I slid out the screen door, and into my Vista Cruiser, which hadn't moved an inch since last night. I slid onto the hood, laying thee, hands behind my head. I closed my eyes, feeling the rays of the morning sun on me. I wanted to feel a bit closer to last night, to the time me and Donna were laying there.
After a couple of minutes, I started walking toward the basement, hoping to maybe catch some sleep on the couch, which I hadn't laid in since forever. I closed the door behind me and settled on the couch, closing my eyes. There was silence for a few seconds before I heard footsteps outside. Then the door opened. I hadn't opened my eyes, but I had an idea who it probably was.
She ran her hands up my arms, waiting for me to open my eyes. Slowly, I opened my eyes to her, standing above me. I stood up, looking at her. What more did she want? Did she want answers? Or something else. Well I guess I spoke too soon. Her lips were soon pressed against mines gently, her arms wrapped around my neck. I wrapped my arms around her waist, slowly running one hand up and down her back. She wrapped her arms around me tighter, pulling me closer. I loved the way it felt to touch her, to kiss her lips, to run my hands over places I wished. We slowly made our way toward the floor. We laid there kissing slowly, wrapped up in our passion, trying to make up for the lost time we spent away.
One hand ran down a side, while the other was intertwined in her hair. Her hands ran achingly slow up and down my chest, each touch leaving a burning sensation behind. Our lips moved so slowly, maybe we were just moving way too slow. It was as if she could read my mind, because at that moment, her lips moved slightly faster, her hands making their way toward the hem of my t-shirt. Her hands pulled it up, as we departed only for a second 'til the shirt was over my head. It was forgotten as soon as it was out of the way, flung somewhere I wouldn't find out until later.
I moved my lips slowly, making her slow down, if we were going to it, we were going to have to take it slow, no matter what. My hands reached down to the bottom of her shirt, pulling it up achingly slow. I could tell she was getting just a bit desperate with my slow actions. I wanted our first time in a long time to be love not just passion. Her lips moved slow now, coming to her senses. Good.
Her hands ran down my chest, toward m belt, undoing it slowly. Her actions killed me, literally. It was slow, yet thats what I asked for. The belt was soon gone too, along with my shirt. I pulled apart from her, slipping her shirt and bra off of her, admiring her body that I've longed for so long. I returned to her lips and ran my fingers slowly down her stomach, letting them settle on her jeans. She moaned softly into my mouth, loving her reaction. I loved what I did to her. But most of all, I loved her. All of her.
Her hands undid my jeans quickly enough to catch me off guard. I hadn't noticed until they were bunched up halfway down my thighs. I slid them to my feet, kicking them off, flinging them off to the side. My whole body pulsated, just like it was the first time all over again. But it wasn't. I knew what I was doing, and I was aware of things now. Not like before. I undid her jeans very slowly, making her just a bit antsy. Her hands settled on my chest, kissing my lips slowly, tracing her tongue on my lip for a few seconds. I slid her jeans down her legs ever so slowly, teasing her. She wiggled out of them, kicking them to the side. Forgotten now. Our lips returned to each other, as he kissed slowly again.
She sighed into the kiss, making me smile. I wanted this for so long since I left. I couldn't believe that I made that mistake. I hoped this wouldn't be all. This couldn't be the end. Just touch and go. It had to be so much more. My hands wrapped around the waistband of her panties as I slid them down slowly, throwing them to the side. Soon enough, my boxers joined them, along with the rest of the clothes. This was it. This was our moment. I hesitated, as I positioned myself on top of her. I looked at her, as she nodded. I lowered myself into her slowly, my heart beating 500 beat per second. I brought my lips against hers as she pulled me closer, her lips moving slowly. I let myself stay in her for a moment, before I slid out and thrust into her. I intertwined our fingers together, my lips moving slowly, wanting to enjoy every second of it.
Our kisses and my thrusts were slow, as she met her hips against mines each time. Her moans and my groans were swallowed up my each other, our mouths never parting. We reached our peak together, as she cried into my mouth. Tears spilled out of her eyes, but I had no idea why. I parted our lips, yet still they were touching. Her lips rubbed against mine as she spoke. "I love you, Eric." "I love you, Donna." I automatically responded. There was no doubt that I loved her, there was no thinking about it. I was truly sure. I wanted this woman to be mine. Forever.