Haha, hi everyone! I haven't written a Ghost Hunt 'fic before, so this is my first one-shot for it. I write Pokemon 'fics, if you're interested in checking those out. (x And if you read my other stories...well, um, I'm trying to update them quickly but Ghost Hunt, etc. keeps luring me into procrastinating, so you might have to wait a few days if you look into them.

Naru: I'm sure they have better things to do.

Mai: Eh, not really seeing as they are reading this...

Me: MEAN! *pout*

Gene: Come on, guys, cut her a break.

Me: *sparkly eyes* thank you, I love you! *hugs him* hehehe

Anyway, this idea randomly came to me when I was listening to the song "Talk Dirty" by Jason Derulo and since he was singing about talking to a foreigner, I thought, 'Hmm, this would be awesome for Naru and Mai! Why the hell not?' So here we are, I hope you enjoy this. I had hoped I would have this done many moons ago, but life gets in the way and so do distractions so yeah...eheh *sweatdrops* I hope you enjoy this!

Talk Dirty to Me

At first, the day seemed like it was going to turn out normal, just a regular 'ole quiet day at SPR. The only things occasionally breaking the silence was the sound of the brunette shuffling papers and filing them away, or her sorting books according to their proper shelves; not to mention the increasingly frequent calls for tea from her workaholic boss, who seemed particularly busy today and required an extra amount of blood sugar. It lead her to cursing and insulting him under her breath as she marched into the kitchenette to make his precious drink, her feet stomping loudly and rattling the bookcases lightly. 'As if I didn't have anything better to do,' she thought in annoyance, splashing tea into a cup and stalking into the direction of the dragon's cave, aka, her boss's office.

To be polite, Mai lightly tapped on the door before entering, deciding not to wait for her boss's response as she was in the middle of paperwork from one of their previous cases and wanted to get back to it as soon as possible. The moment she entered she felt the teen's dark eyes bore into her, giving her a reproachful look for not waiting for his permission to enter. However, being stubborn Mai, she hardly cared and merely spared him a quick glance before setting the tea lightly in front of him. Upon laying down his teacup, she noticed some notes written in Naru's scratchy writing on the desk in front of him, and on further inspection realized they were in English. It bothered her that she couldn't read the strange...letters, were they called? Yes, letters, and Naru's illegible handwriting didn't help her to decipher it anymore than she could've if she could read English.

"Say, Naru, how come you write in English all the time?" Mai inquired of her tea loving boss, who hadn't spoken since her entry and was now sipping the tea she had brought him with a pensive look on his face. "I mean, wouldn't it be better if you practiced your Japanese more and wouldn't have to rely on Lin-san to read stuff for you?"

The narcissist fixed her with a cold stare, which by now she should be used to though it still made her cringe a little and she nervously hugged the tray she used to bring his tea with close to her chest. "Mai, I have enough practice with the three writing systems. Besides, why would I write slowly in a second language when I could write notes faster in the language I grew up with and save me time and energy?"

'Well, when you put it that way...'

"I see," mumbled Mai, feeling slightly abashed. "But wouldn't it be fun to challenge yourself? You're the puzzle guy and the book addict- why wouldn't you?"

Naru's eyes looked heavy with annoyance; clearly he wanted to get back to work and get out of this irrelevant conversation. "Shouldn't you be trying to learn English? I have Japanese down, writing, reading and speaking, but you can't even read basic English words. Maybe it should be you trying to challenge yourself."

With a huff, his assistant balled her fists and barked, "Well, maybe I would, but I don't have a teacher! I would have considered asking you, but you probably would just tell me to pick up a book and leave you alone to work!" She glared at him, daring him to make a sardonic remark, which made him narrow his eyes at her a fraction. They stood glaring at each other for another minute, before Mai said, "Why don't you talk to me in English, huh? I can probably get the gist of what you're saying." She puffed out her chest, trying to look brave, but her diligent boss had formed a plan in his mind. I mean, he had some things to say to her, he might as well say them so she couldn't understand him and get his heart to stop pounding frantically when he caught sight of her and silence the words that were itching to get out of his mouth when she was close to him (in a language she could understand!).

So the black clothed man leaned forward slightly, looked directly into her mahogany eyes and said, in fluent English, "Mai, you're the gentlest and yet the most frustrating person I've ever met. You're kind to strangers and you care more about others than yourself, and I can't help but like that about you. You're sweet, loud, childish, obnoxious, infuriating, intoxicating, and I think I'm in love with you, which irks me because I've never been in love and I wasn't planning on ever doing such a thing." He paused, and with a smirk, added, "And sometimes I have to restrain myself from kissing you, like I am right now." He waited, watching her facial expression and hoping against hope she hadn't understood a word. He could practically see her brain whirring, trying to interpret what he said, even though he had said it pretty fast.

When she didn't speak for a minute, the paranormal researcher sighed in impatience and leaned back in his chair, scooting closer to the desk so he could start to work again. "Did you manage to figure out what I said? Or is your brain too tiny to be able to cope with it?" He returned to Japanese to say this, knowing it would make her furious. And it did.

"Well, excuse me, you were speaking so fast I couldn't catch up!"

"That isn't my problem; no one's going to slow down their speech just because you can't keep up."

Cue her growl and stamping foot. Naru smirked to himself because he had anticipated this. "Sorry I'm so stupid! Whatever, I don't want your help anyways. You probably told me I was annoying and unintelligent and hot-headed, and probably even unworthy to be your assistant!" With that she turned on her heel and flounced out, not taking care to shut the door without making an echoing slam.

With a sigh, the man in black returned to his work, glad that it was once again silent in his office. But there was also a hollow feeling in his chest, one that distracted him from filling out the rest of the paperwork sitting in front of him. His hand hovered over it, a pen dangling precariously about a centimeter from the thick paper, unable to write as his hand wouldn't obey his wishes. In his mind's eye he could see Mai's furious gaze very close to his own, her auburn brown hair practically steaming with anger, and her cheeks were a tomato red, several shades darker than when she was just embarrassed. Even her eyes had taken on an angry shine that happened when she was on high emotion, full of frustration and fury. Her muscles were coiled in a defensive position as though she hoped to protect herself as she eyed him hotly, her jaw tight and her fists clenched tightly by her sides. The dark haired teen didn't often see this, only on a few particular occasions had she given him that look, but when she did, it left his palms slightly damp and made his eyes sting with regret. However, he always pushed that thought aside, thinking it was his body's reaction to the adrenaline suddenly sloshing in his veins from a steamy argument with his assistant and not because he felt terrible for making her upset.

'How could something as irrelevant as this be stored in your memory?' He sighed to himself. Obviously when someone was in love, not only were their emotions affected but also their physical being and one tended to notice subtle things about the person they felt attracted to. Being Mr. Dark and Enigmatic Oliver Davis, the teen had never been in love or bothered to study it, so how could he have known such things? He thought of how authors described love as shocking and mysterious in all the stupid romance novels Gene had made him read, for amusement's sake of course. He'd thrown them aside in annoyance before finishing them, thinking about how much work he could have gotten done in that time or how many other parapsychology books he could have examined. He'd even reprimanded his twin for making him read such nonsense, to which the latter responded with a grin and mockingly teased him he'd be an old sap in love one day and that he ought to consider finishing those books for advice in the future.

'I'm not a sap,' the narcissist thought in disgust, 'but I am in love and I don't know what to do about it. Maybe I should have taken Gene's advice...'

A voice in the back of Naru's mind, one that sounded irritatingly like Gene's, trilled, 'I told you so!'

'Damn you you stupid medium...'

Though he even admitted to himself (and to Mai without her actually understanding) he was in love with her, the scientist wasn't sure if he should act on his feelings or suppress them. Option two sounded easier, and it had at first when he started to realize his attraction to his brunette assistant, but over time, it started to feel like agony, especially when Mai had gotten herself in danger or when she walked away from him, angry or not. The thought of her not being by his side made his stomach twist into uncomfortable knots, growing thicker and tighter when he suspected Mai to be in love with his brother. Gene was the better option, Noll knew that, but that didn't make it any easier or make him any less irate when he remembered his brother's fan club trailing after him and even mistaking him for Gene more often than not, especially when they showed disappointed looks and turned away from him to look for his older brother. No one ever remembered Gene's nerdy and antisocial little brother curled up in the corner with a book; they only ever remembered Gene's bright smile and his charm.

'Why should I be surprised that Mai would be the same? She wants the boy with the better personality, as does everyone, especially when they're good-looking. Honestly, I don't blame her, but why? Why, why? Why do you have to be like them, Mai?'

Oliver hastily coughed, trying to get his thoughts under control. It was a moment of weakness, but thankfully, nobody had been present to see it. Mai seemed to do this to him often, and though his composure remained intact, there had been times when he felt like yelling and screaming because of something Mai did or said; but that was his own fault for being provoked. She was the reason, and it made him crazy because not only could he not understand it, he sometimes couldn't figure her out or couldn't understand how she managed to get under his skin. It was like trying to learn a particularly irksome foreign language, one he couldn't completely comprehend and one he wasn't sure how to respond to. Her body language was easy to read, and he could tell if he flustered her or not and could tell if she was happy or morose by her facial expressions even if she tried to hide them, but her innermost thoughts? He didn't have ESP in clairvoyance, but still he'd become accomplished at guessing what people were thinking just by their outward movements or their tone of voice. Mai could be riled up about being teased by him, but at the end of the day, she brought him satisfactory tea and told him to be careful getting home or to get plenty of rest instead of working through the night. No matter how many times he took the mickey out of her or how many times she glared and yelled at him, she'd keep coming back for more and seemed fine afterwards even though during the verbal sparring matches she'd seemed to be too enraged to be reckoned with. She seemed to understand the deep seated troubles of his communication errors with affection and how strongly in need of mental care he needed.

He wasn't sure how to handle someone who defied him, irritated him, and yet, intrigued him.

Oliver Davis wasn't a coward, and he wasn't going to start being one now. If he didn't act on his feelings, he'd spend the rest of his life wondering what could've been between him and Mai and would be bitterly watching someone else hold her and call her their own. He stood up and felt the setting sun on his back. He turned to see his office illuminated with a soft, orange glow that reminded him of the glow he saw when Mai smiled at him.

He wanted that glow to be his, and he wasn't going to let it slip away.

After Naru's confusing and incomprehensible statement, Mai had stormed out to finish the work she had been doing prior to his tea call. She was still angry at her boss, though admittedly she didn't actually know what he had said. He hadn't denied what she had accused him of saying, but the slight flicker in his eyes told her differently.

The brunette, though she'd never tell him (she might wound his skyscraper sized ego), could figure out what mood he was in by his eyes. They say eyes are windows to the soul, but no one would ever think Mr. Prestiguous, Narcissistic and Stoic Oliver Davis would willingly let his emotions show in any way. I mean, he wasn't a sociopath, but the thought of him smiling or even uttering a kind word was like imagining Lin-san hopping around in a bunny costume singing the national athem (A/N: just let that sink in...). In other words, it was heart attack worthy and it honestly made her sad to think of how much he lacked affection from others and the morbidity his childhood must have been.

If she looked closely into those dark orbs, passive orbs that regularly regarded her coldly or indifferently, she could see the deep pain etched in them. They didn't need to form the word 'Gene' for Mai to know what the cause was, she already saw it the day he confessed every painful memory from his childhood to her. She wanted to put her arms around him and console him, fight away the pain that she knew was eating at him even if he kept a blank face. One just couldn't brush off a sibling's death, especially when said person's twin knew him better than anyone. Mai knew she could never replace Gene, not ever, but she wanted to make Naru happy and wanted to heal him a little, make him feel like he could confide in someone again. But it made it harder for the brunette when the dark haired boy pushed her away and tried convincing her that she loved Gene and not him, that he was just a stand in for Gene.

'Holier-than-thou narcissist, he won't get rid of me that easily!' thought the furious assistant, unceremoniously stuffing files into their proper place and seizing more to sort. 'How dare he try to tell me who I love and who I don't! He could've been a man about it and rejected me bluntly, but no, he had to use his brother as an excuse to tell me off!'

Mai didn't realize how long she'd been caught up in her thoughts until she glanced out the window and spotted the darkening horizon, which was splotched with light pinks and dazzling oranges. She also noticed that her boss hadn't ordered tea in hours, which was highly unusual since he regularly requested tea about two to three times an hour. Glancing at his office door, Mai wondered if he'd fallen asleep or escaped through his window because there was no way in hell he would go so long without his precious drink.

Shrugging, Mai returned to filing, rejoicing in the fact that she didn't have to do more work for her boss. Sure she was grateful for his job offer to her and giving her a good salary to help her out without her having to do much except some tedious work, but Mai was more than happy to embrace less work any day, especially when he was particularly moody and demanding more tea. On those days she was tempted to crush happy pills in his many cups and poison him via mood change and drug overdose. I mean, at least he'd be nicer to her and might actually make her smile and laugh rather than anger her and have her on the verge of breaking something.

Though the brunette had to admit she secretly loved his teasing and didn't want him to stop, it couldn't kill him to be nice sometimes, could it? 'Pleases' and 'thank yous' surely couldn't hurt either, I mean, she put a lot of effort into her tea making to please him. Some appreciation would be nice.

Sighing, Mai continued to sort papers into their respective files, that is until she discovered she'd been sorting them incorrectly. With an angry huff, the irate girl began feverishly rearranging the papers into their proper places and went to file them when they suddenly went tumbling from her grip. She let out a quiet shriek of impatience and bent to squish the fallen papers back into their files when she suddenly felt something stop her.

The source was a pair of strong arms fastening themselves around her waist and pulling her back into something warm and firm, startling a soft gasp from her. Against her back was a thin chest, one that felt very familiar and one that was clad in black, which matched the sleeves of the arms around her. Mai's face became as rosy as the sky outside; her heart began beating wildly against her ribs and she swore she could see it jumping through her shirt to keep in time with her shallow breathing.

Without warning, she felt her captor's hot breath against her ear and a soft voice whispered, "You want to know what I said?"

Even though his body was quite heated, Mai felt shivers go up her spine and she felt a bit tongue-tied. She didn't know he was capable of making her this unraveled, but then again he never pulled a stunt like this before. "S-sure," replied the brown-haired girl, her knees as well as her voice shaking and threatening to buckle beneath her.

The boy tugged her even closer and he whispered, "You're infuriating, beautiful, kind, and often loud, but I love teasing you. You're gentle yet obnoxious, childish, but tempting, and I want you, Mai. I love you." Mai felt herself catch her breath. "And...I'd want the chance to kiss you."

Mai released breath and managed to say, "D-don't tease me, Naru, this isn't funny."

"It wasn't meant to be a joke, silly, or is your brain too tiny to understand a confession?" She heard the smirk in his voice and seethed in anger.

"I don't like being played around with," she warned, but she felt a balloon of happiness inside her expand.

He sighed in annoyance. "God, you really are foolish, aren't you? Would you like proof of my honesty?" His tone softened at the last question.

"..."

"If you mind your words and not go too far. That's not a healthy way to win someone's heart." She looked at him with a determined gaze. Even if she was happy about the possibility of the truth, she would not be mistreated. Teasing, fine, but anything farther than that was unacceptable.

He paused and considered her. "May I prove it, then?" She took that as an affirmation of respect and nodded.

Her previous offender took her chin. Her vision was suddenly obscured by black hair and then a pair of tender lips captured her own. It took her a moment to realize, yes, Oliver Davis was in fact kissing her and angling his head so he could deepen the kiss. Kazuya Shibuya was kissing her. Naru the narcissist was kissing her! This was the evidence she wanted, was it not?

When she reached this conclusion, Mai felt herself instantly respond, tilting her head to get closer to him, gripping his arms still snaked around her waist. The minute she kissed back, she felt him slyly smile and he whispered against her mouth, "'Bout time."

"Ergghh~! You can't even kiss a girl without insulting her!" She snapped, turning her head away from him. The brunette groaned, but secretly she felt giddy and light-headed from his touch and kiss.

Naru brought his mouth against her ear and murmured, "C'mon, Mai, you know I can't resist teasing your antics."

"It's in your power to try."

"I will endeavor to."

She huffed and refused to look at him. Naru mumbled in her ear, looking for permission to kiss her again. Stubborn but slightly amused, she offered her neck and let him playfully plant little kisses on her, making her quiver and feel weak again, but she refused to give in to his charm and kept up her tenacious attitude.

"Aren't you going to scold me?" Her boss asked teasingly, his cheek against her hair and his arms ever immovable around her waist.

Mai sucked in another breath, but remained stubbornly still. "I don't know what to say, narcissist, other than hugging me out of nowhere is rather rude."

She felt him shift slightly and his breath slid over the side of her neck and settled around her ear. She felt his chest vibrate slightly as he apologized, and his breath tickled her again as he said in low, sexy voice, "Then talk dirty to me, Mai." He kissed her cheek and then her jawline, bringing an ocean wave of desires that tingled in her stomach and made her want to lunge for his mouth, to taste his lips again. She kept herself still though.

'Eek, what do I say? Shouldn't he be talking dirty to me in English or something, like, as a turn on?'

Mai distantly heard a door open and a pair of footsteps came to a sudden halt. She heard a throat being cleared and she felt Naru's arms retract from around her. The absence of them brought disappointment, not realizing how relaxing they had been until they'd been removed. The phantom of them lingered, as did the feeling of Naru's lips on her skin, but it wasn't the same as the actual thing.

When the brunette turned, she saw the tall, quiet man standing in the doorway to his office, his grey eyes full of amusement even though his expression remained impassive as he surveyed the two of them. Naru inclined his head to his male assistant and walked to his office. He stopped just before opening the door and turned to Mai, saying, "Tell me later, won't you?" Flabberghasted, Mai watched him open his door and disappear inside, shutting it behind him.

Lin looked at her, his eyebrow arched, wondering what they'd been discussing. 'He just acted like nothing happened! What the hell, Naru, what was that?!' Stamping her foot, she began mumbling furiously under her breath, "Stupid, narcissistic, swollen headed, stubborn, infuriating jerk! Oh if he asks-"

"Mai, tea! Now! And while you're at it, pick up those files!"

"ERGGGHHH, I HATE YOU!" She yelled back, getting a laugh out of Lin and she vaguely heard Naru's quiet chuckle. She scrambled around for the files and dumped them on her desk. As she made to stomp toward the kitchenette, Naru reappeared in the doorway of his office and smirked at her.

"You're quite the tease, aren't you? You let me kiss you one minute and tell me off the next. Seriously, Mai, make up your mind."

"I am not a tease! You're an ass."

Noll mock pouted. "You wouldn't talk dirty to me, and yet you relaxed comfortably in my arms. I'd say you're quite the tease, unless you don't know how to talk dirty."

Mai huffed and blushed furiously, trying to ignore Lin's snickering behind her and regain her composure. "You're the foreigner, shouldn't you be the one talking dirty to me in another language? Isn't that suppose to be some sexy game?" She arched her eyebrows in a challenging way.

Naru's smirk flicked back into place. "Okay." He then said, in English, "Mai, would you allow me kiss you senseless?" He didn't care Lin could understand him and was eavesdropping. He kept looking into Mai's brown orbs, waiting for her reaction. She sighed irritably.

"Gah, I quit, what did you say? Or is that the point to be ambiguous?"

His smirk broadened. Returning to Japanese, he said in a playful voice, "Your outfit is quite nice." He paused, restraining his laughter at the sight of her cherry red cheeks darken as he gave her a once over. "I appreciate how comfortable you are in my office, be it not entirely professional, though I must say I can't complain since I can enjoy how beautiful you are." She stumbled back with a yelp, completely thrown by his statement. "See, that's how it is done, Mai, I hope you took notes. Anyways, I want my tea." He returned to his office, leaving a stuttering, embarrassed and completely red Mai to the mercy of Lin's quiet laughter.

"YOU COMPLETE JERK, HOW DARE YOU!"

'Tis all, I hope you liked it c:

Mai: Naru was really dirty...

Gene: Yeah, he'd never be that charming in real life...idiot scientist

Naru: *whacks him* you weren't even in the story!

Gene: Eff off, Alice said I'd be in the next story!

Me: He might be...no promises...

Naru: I thought your name was Lizzie...?

Me: Can't I have an alias too?

Naru: *rolls eyes*

Anyways, please review! I hope Naru wasn't OOC...let me know how bad or good this was! And plus, if you were wondering, I pretended Naru had mastered Kanji before returning from England to Japan so that's why he said he had all three writing systems memorized!

Gene: So like she said, be dears and review!

Naru: Yeah or Demon will probably throw a fit...

Me: Oh, so I'm Demon now? Thank you, asshole, I appreciate that and no, I won't throw a fit. I'll just hug my bear and go into isolation...

Naru: *sighs*

Mai: Oh, and since Alice is editing this at two in the morning there may be grammar errors and such, so please include them in your reviews if you will so she can spot them easier and correct them. She'll look over it tomorrow to check for any errors! Thanks for reading!

Sayōnara, folks!

~ demon alice.