Unrequitted -

I smiled softly; I would never give up hope, that one day he would be mine. The thought was constantly on my mind, Naruto is everything to me, yet so clueless that he never seemed to realize what he meant to me. I always looked up to him, always relied on him for strength, for power and for courage. He is my reason for living, he is my inspiration, and he is my one and only love. Every day, I would watch him. He seemed to constantly grow stronger. He never gave up, he worked himself to exhaustion, and he was powerful. He was everything I wanted to be. I wondered, for a moment, if I have changed enough to get his attention.

I never had a problem with watching him from afar. It was being close to him that bothered me. I don't know why, but every time I got near him, I would start to stutter and blush. The words that I've always wanted to say would escape my mind, and I would get incredibly nervous. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him; how much he meant to me... but the words would never seemed to come out. It was like I was locked inside my own mind, struggling to break free, but never able to.

I was never strong enough, that's why my Naruto-Kun had never noticed me. I have forever been invisible to him. No matter how much I hoped that he would notice, that he would even look my way for a single second, he never did.

I felt as if I was doomed to stay this way, but today it would all change, today was the day Naruto was coming home. Back from the two year training trip that he went on with Jiraiya-sama. I am going to tell him today.

The question was: How? A myriad of questions fly through my mind every time I think of this: What time would I go to him? What would I say? What would I wear? But most importantly, what would he say? That thought scared me the most, but I knew that now was the time. It was now or never. All the girls had matured incredibly, even I had. If I didn't do something… undoubtedly, someone else would take him from me.

I got up from my seat on the academy swing and started to make my way to the gates of Konoha, he would be here soon, Tsunade-Sama had said so. I was wearing my hair in a ponytail; usually I'd leave it down, but not today, I wanted to be just a little different. I wore a short sleeved amethyst jacket over a black long sleeved shirt and a pair of mid-thigh length black shorts. I still wore the same ninja sandals, black with a femine touch, and my forehead protector was still in its same position around my neck.

I took my time getting to the gates. I stopped by the Hyuga compound to tell Neji-nii-san and Hanabi-nee-chan where I was going, and then found Kiba to tell him I wouldn't be at the team meeting; he understood, of course. I arrived at two; it was nearly Two-thirty when I saw some other people on the horizon. Soon they came into view; they were exactly the people I had been waiting for. They were Naruto and Jiraiya.

I wanted to run, to hide behind one of the many trees surrounding the area, but I resisted, I had to tell him. It was another five minutes until they reached the gates. Naruto looked as good as ever; he had changed his clothes, if only slightly. His older orange jumpsuit that he had worn before was replaced with a slightly less bright orange and black one and his hair had grown longer; he looked strangely similar to the Fourth Hokage. All you had to do was give him a Chunin vest and a cloak. Jiraiya still looked exactly the same as he always had.

I worked up my courage and walked up to them, I was trembling slightly from the adrenaline running through my veins and the nervousness trying to deter me. I kept my hands behind my back to avoid tapping my fingers together; it really was an annoying habit.

I finally got the words out, "H-hi Naruto-Kun." I smiled slightly hoping he would remember me. My hopes were crushed when he reached up and scratched the back of his head.

"Do I know you?" My smile must have wavered incredibly, but I didn't notice, I simply looked down with my eyes widened.

I felt as if I would cry, how could he not remember me? He had saved me more than once, and I had saved him twice. Once when we were looking for the Bikochu so we could search for Sasuke and another when that guy with the iron almost killed him. I had thought he at least started to respect me, if only a little.

I felt the tears flow down my face, if he didn't even remember me, why would he love me? It was at that precise moment that Sakura decided to show up. As soon as he saw her, he completely forgot that he was even talking to me beforehand.

"Naruto! Is that you? You've really grown up!" I glanced up at her before looking down once more; she really was pretty... and Naruto had always liked her. There's no way he'd like me anyways, it's a lost cause.

'Why did I even come here?'

"Hey Sakura-Chan! I'm back! Did 'ya miss me?" I could feel the happiness radiating off of him, why was it that I could never make him feel that way? He'll probably end up with Sakura-Chan, I wish them luck. Better his happiness than mine.

I turned around to go home; I only got two steps before Sakura had to open her big mouth. Why couldn't she just let me suffer in peace? It's not like she cares...

"Hey, Naruto! Why didn't you say hi to Hinata!" I stopped crying, if only for now, and turned around once more to look at them. Sakura was angry, and Naruto was skeptical. I didn't know what hurt more: the fact that he forgot that I existed, or the fact that he didn't believe I was really me. Sure I had changed over the years, but I hadn't changed all that much, had I?

"That's Hinata?" He looked down at me, "I wonder why I didn't remember you... probably because you aren't sick and you aren't acting all weird right now! How's dog breath doing?"

His words hurt me more than any kunai ever could. He unintentionally hurt me, I know he didn't mean to, but how many times could he do that and still remain oblivious to my feelings? He had asked about Kiba; what about me? I'm right here, right now. Why doesn't he want to know how I am? I could feel the tears forcing their way up, I closed my eyes, but a single, salty tear fell off my eyelashes. I could feel his bright blue eyes on me; I opened my eyes and ran my fingertips across my cheeks, subconsciously checking to make sure I hadn't started crying right in front of him.

I heard the droplet hit the ground just as I realized my cheek was damp, this couldn't be happening to me, not only had I lost the nerve to tell him, realizing he loved someone else, but I had also managed to make myself look pathetic by crying over it, and right in front of him. Fresh tears cascaded down my face, his eyes started widening, no doubt wondering what the cause of them was. A sob wrenched itself from my throat, a sound filled to the brim with all my pain, all my sorrow, all my disappointment.

"Hinata…?" His voice was caring, as it always was, with worry laced through it, his eyes bore into mine making me angry. Why did he have to be so blind? Why did he have to act as if he actually cared about me? Why would he never love me?

I turned and ran as fast as I could through the large, wooden gates of Konoha. I ran away from everything in that one moment. I ran from my home, my duties as a ninja, and the one thing that would never be mine. I ran until I could no longer run; only stopping when I had to. Minutes had turned into hours, hours turned into days.

Until I finally collapsed from exhaustion; I was extremely tired, hungry, and more miserable than I had ever been in my life. I didn't know how long I had been running, but I knew one thing at least, I wasn't in Konoha anymore and I never wanted to go back. I never wanted to see his bright, smiling face again, to remind me that I would never have it.

I crawled to the base of the tall tree next to me; I leaned against it and brought my knees to my chest wrapping my arms around them. I whimpered; I was alone in the middle of who knows where, with nothing in sight. I was lost. I cried then more than I had ever cried before, as if I was coming to terms with everything that had ever gone wrong in my life. I told myself to forget him and I did, just for that moment. My head felt clear for a few minutes, but my heart still hurt, because I know that I will always love Naruto.

I would probably die out here, there's no chance for me now; no one to save me from myself. I just had to go and do something stupid like this. I felt dizzy and nauseous... when was the last time I had something to eat, or water to drink? I ccouldn't remember. I laughed at myself for forgetting to take care of myself; I probably signed my own death warrant just like that... but I couldn't bring myself to regret it. There is nothing left to live for; everything I ever dreamed of, everything I longed for, everything, was ripped away with the knowledge that Naruto-Kun could never be mine. I fell over onto my side as the colors of everything in my sight, the browns, the greens, the blues... the blacks, started to blur... like I was on a roller coaster. I was starting to numb, all my pain was leaving me.

I fought against the darkness for just a moment longer, and I thought of Naruto. I felt that I should blame him, loathe him, because he could not love me. But I couldn't; I couldn't blame him for loving Sakura-chan, or for hoping for her to love him back. I couldn't blame him for not giving up, and settling for me; after all, I would never have settled for anyone other than him. I could not blame him for fighting for Sakura's love, like I should have fought for his, because nothing hurts more than an unrequitted love. I remembered his blue eyes, staring at me with worry, and reveled in the moment of care as I finally gave in, and let myself drift into the comforting blanket of black that had fallen over me.

Luvakatsuki3