Hi all. I understand that I haven't published in a while and that a lot of of you are impatient for another story I'm working on called Demoilition Lovers, but have stopped writing. I've been working on some of my own stuff and haven't been on here a lot. But I recently listened to a song sung by Amanda Palmer and it inspired this. I hope this will hold you over for a while until I can publish a new chapter of Demolition Lovers. here it is. Please read and review. Thanks so much with your patience and support and I hope you like this.
I like you. And I'd like you to like me to like you.
"Jack," Gwen called.
"Yeah?" he answered from the stairs.
It had been a long day of work with an alien running loose in Cardiff. Ianto was up in London working on a personal alien project of his own and it had just been Jack and Gwen. Torchwood had saved the day once more and together, working side by side as they did, they had been brilliant.
"Thanks."
"For what?" he asked.
Gwen shrugged, "For just being you."
With a smile on her face she walked out the Cog door, leaving Jack to also grin at her words before descending the steps to his office.
But I don't need you. I don't need you to like me to like you. Because if you didn't like me, I would still like you see. La La La. La La La
"Where you heading tonight?" Jack asked casually just as Gwen was finishing up a report.
"Thought I'd go home and change. I have a date. Local bloke. It's my first time out since Rhys died and I'm not expecting anything, but you never know," she answered.
"Oh. That's nice," he said trying to keep the jealousy out of his voice.
"What about you?"
"Ianto said he might stop by, you know," he answered.
"Oh," Gwen said trying to keep the bitterness out of her tone, "Did he now?"
"Yeah," he said capturing her eye.
She held his gaze as she told him, "Well I hope you two enjoy yourselves tonight."
"I'm sure we will and of course I hope you have a nice evening too."
"I'm sure I will."
And with the silent tension dangling in the air, Jack left Gwen to finish with her work.
I lick you. And I like you to like me to lick you.
"Jack," Gwen's voice was hoarse with pleasure.
"Shh," he cooed as he kissed the inside of her thigh. It had all happened too fast. One minute they were talking, the next they were in Jack's bed, bare and vulnerable to each other in the moonlight with the night whispering dark, deceiving promises that were too seductive to resist, "The night is ours. Let's make the most of it."
Gwen nodded absently and lost all train of thought completely as Jack's tongue tickled her clit. The pleasure was so intense, Gwen could hardly breathe and she let out a moan.
But I don't need you to like me to lick you. If your pleasure turned into pain, I would still lick for my personal gain. La La La. La La La.
"Jack, I can't," Gwen panted as sweat trickled underneath her breasts.
Her stomach was all in knots and an ache was beginning to form in the lower part of her that was begging for something bigger. Jack didn't relent though. He kept up the expert tongue teasing while simultaneously pushing a finger in and out of her. She was hot, wet and so completely ready for him.
Gwen's breaths came in gasps and she arched her back as complete and final bliss washed over her. She shivered out the last of her orgasm, breathing hard and wanting more than just the glimpse of paradise. She wanted Jack. She wanted it all and after watching with a kind of wonder and fascination, so did Jack.
I fuck you. I love how you love how I fuck you.
Jack thrust himself into Gwen with a groan. She kissed him with such a force he wasn't sure just how much more he could take. Watching her come was torture enough and he was hard, hot and ready. So when he finally sunk himself into her glorious, slick covering he thought he had died and gone to heaven. Gwen's nails dug deep into his shoulders as he tried to go deeper and deeper. Gwen moaned and Jack caught it with his mouth covering hers in a hot, wet satisfying kiss. Gwen wrapped her legs around him, clinging to him for dear life as they both began to climax together. The sensation grew and grew and grew before Jack gasped and ejaculated his seed inside her and Gwen shivered from the most satisfying intense sensation she had ever felt in her entire life. He collapsed on top of her with her arms around him, breathing just as deeply as she was.
Both slept satisfied in each other's arms with the silence still hanging evermore.
But I don't fucking need you. I don't need you to need me to fuck you.
"Gwen," Jack whispered.
He had awoken in the middle of the night still inside of her and remembering the night's passion and feeling her squeezing him ever so nicely, he was becoming hard all over again. But before he did anything else, he had to make sure things between them were understood.
"Mmmm."
"Gwen, we need to talk."
"What?" she whispered opening her eyes rather dreamily and giving him a kiss.
He reluctantly pulled back, sighing as he did so.
"This doesn't change anything between us, you know. During the day we're still just colleagues and what we do at night, if you still want to can't be anything more then what it is. I can't be Rhys and I refuse to be the cause of ruin in your life. I want to be with you, but that's all..."
She knew what he meant when he said he wanted to be with her. He meant physically. Emotionally he was unavailable and Gwen honestly believed she could accept that.
Gwen nodded while stroking his hair," I know," she said, "I don't want you to be Rhys. I'm happy with just you."
If you need me to need you to fuck, that fucks everything up. La la la. La La La.
With that statement said, Gwen kissed Jack again, but this time he didn't relent. He entangled his tongue with hers as she rolled them over, so that he was on his back and she was on top.
"I'm always on top," he told her as she released him.
"Not with me," she whispered seductively.
And with that she lifted herself from him and then mercilessly came back down. Jack groaned with pleasure and they both rode out their next adventure till both saw bright lights announcing the arrival of the morning sun.
I want you and I want you to want me to want you.
"I've wanted you for so long, Gwen."
Gwen nodded as she rested her head against his chest, "I've wanted you too, Jack."
But I don't need you. Don't need you to need me to need you. That's just me. So take me or leave me. But please don't need me. Don't need me to need you to need me.
Gwen gave Jack a small smile as she worked from her desk the next day. He returned it just before he went back to his desk and rested his head in his hands. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He really didn't need this. Gwen was the first thing he both wanted and didn't need in his life. What he was doing was stupid and he knew it.
Cause we're here one minute, the next we're dead.
One day he would lose her to this life at Torchwood. And if he let it get to him, he might lose himself in the process. Gwen Cooper could possibly be his undoing and if he were smarter he would retcon them both and keep on pretending that they didn't have anything between them.
Just like the rest of them, she'd leave him in the end and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
"Jack," Gwen knocked and shut the door behind her. It was late and the last of the team had just left, "I needed to talk to you."
So love me and leave me, but try not to need me. Enough said. I want you, but I don't need you.
"I needed to talk to you too," he responded, his decision to retcon them both already formulated.
But then he saw her bite her lip which reminded him of the night's kisses from before.
"You go first," she told him.
"I wanted..."
Jack left the sentence to dangle in the air. Gwen waited expectedly for him to continue, but when he didn't she became all the more alarmed.
"You wanted?" she encouraged.
Jack took a deep breath and tried again, "I wanted you..."
Gwen folded her arms and bit her lip harder. Jack unconsciously licked his own lips and his hands which had been so composedly folded before were twitching. He stood up and walked in front of his desk trying to control his sudden nervousness.
"Yeah? Jack, you're making me impatient, what is it that you want me to do?" Gwen asked.
Jack mentally slapped himself and tried once more.
"I want you..." but then again the images surging around in his mind didn't help and the more he said the words, the more they sounded so right. Not being able to take it any longer he threw his hands in the air and said, "Fuck it, I just want you."
With that he pulled Gwen to him, turned her and slammed her against his desk and kissed her long and hard.
I love you and I love how you love how I love you. But I don't need you. Don't need you to need me to love you.
"I love you Jack," Gwen whispered one night while snuggled in his arms.
They had made love on more than one occasion and she had finally got up the nerve to say how she felt. Jack didn't respond immediately. He had wanted to say it, because in his heart it was the truth, but he couldn't seem to get up the nerve to without it hurting him all the more. Every night with Gwen was both a blessing and a regret for him.
But being so swept up in the words she had confessed, he never caught the dangling note in her tone.
If your love should change into hate, would my love have been in a mistake? La la la. La la la.
"I love you Jack," she whispered, "But I hate you for it."
So I'm gonna leave you and I'd like you to leave me to leave you. But lover believe me, it isn't because I don't need you, you know I don't need you.
He had found the Doctor again. Staring out the window of his old bedroom in the Tardis, he looked to the stars wondering about his team. Wondering about Gwen.
He shook himself from those thoughts. They'd get along fine without him. She'd get along fine without him. It wasn't as though he wasn't coming back, he was just taking a little longer to. The Doctor needed his help and he was more then happy to oblige. They had just defeated a race that had planned to destroy the universe and start it anew. The Doctor also didn't have anyone else to travel with and Jack had promised him one trip. He headed out towards the console where he found the Doctor standing.
"Oh Rose," he heard the time lord whisper.
"Where is she by the way. I thought after the two of you found each other you would be traveling overtime to make up for the time you lost together," Jack interrupted.
The Doctor jumped, clearly unaware that Jack had even heard him. Instead of answering directly he began to turn knobs on the console.
"Doctor?"
"So, where do you want to go. I known you've seen from the 1800's and on, but how about the 1400's? I'm sure you can find some use for tights," the Doctor began to blab.
Jack smiled at the comment automatically thinking of several uses for tights, but that didn't deter him from changing the subject, "Doctor."
"Or maybe a star. What's your favorite star, Jack? I don't believe you ever told me."
"Doctor." Jack said with more force then necessary.
The Doctor stopped in his motion around the console and looked up. He took a deep breath before answering, "Don't push me, Jack."
"What happened? I thought you lov-"
"I did. God, I'd have been a fool if I didn't."
All I wanted was to be wanted, but your drowning me deep in your need to be needed. La la la. La La La.
"All I ever wanted was her," the Doctor continued.
"Then what was the problem?"
The Doctor was quiet for a moment before answering, "I didn't need her. Not enough for the pain to be worth it. And she needed to be needed and lo-cared for. She's safe and happy now though, Jack. And that's all that matters."
After that both were silent as the Tardis brought them to a new destination.
I want you and I want you to want me to want you. But I don't need you. Don't need you to need me to need you.
"Didn't you learn from last time," Gwen lectured.
"I left a note. You knew where I was."
"But...not even a goodbye, Jack. You didn't even say goodbye. I just woke up and you were gone. And not for a short period of time, but a year. You've been gone a year."
"I'm sorry."
"You're just lucky you weren't terribly needed," she said turning her back to him and folding her arms.
"But you needed me, didn't you Gwen?"
"That's where you're wrong, Jack. I don't need you now and I didn't need you then," she stated matter of fact, even though deep inside she knew it was true. She had her hand on the door of his office and prepared to leave just before saying, "But your son did."
With that she shut the door and left Captain Jack Harkness standing there stunned.
That's just me. So take me or leave me. But please don't need me. Don't need me to need you to need me.
"He's in the playpen we put in a free room in the basement. Mickey's looking after him right now. Love's him to death," Ianto told Jack as he led him down the stairs.
"Isn't it a bit dangerous to have a baby down here? In fact, isn't it a bit dangerous to have a baby in this place at all?"
Jack was still trying to deal with the fact that Gwen had been pregnant with his baby while he was gone in the first place let alone the fact that he was concerned with the said baby's safety.
"He isn't always here. Just when Gwen can't get a sitter. He sleeps most of the time and all harmful things are moved out of the way. The room is secured and there is always usually someone available to check in on him, so he isn't alone."
Ianto opened the door and Jack slowly walked through. Mickey had a bundle in his arms and was rocking it gently. There was silence as Jack walked in. At first Mickey was unsure, but then gathering his nerve he asked, "Would you like to hold your son?"
Jack reluctantly nodded and walked forward.
"Watch his head," Mickey told him as he gently placed the babe into Jack's arms.
The baby made a small sound as it came out of sleep and opened it's wide turquoise eyes to view Jack. Jack couldn't breathe at first and didn't until the baby reached out it's hand to touch Jack's cheek. For a long moment all Jack could do was stare at him.
"You didn't even ask his name," Ianto interrupted as Mickey came to stand next to him watching Jack very carefully.
"What's his name?" Jack asked his eyes never leaving his son's. His son.
"His name is Shane," Ianto said, "Boeshane Grey Cooper."
Jack let Shane wrap his tiny hand around Jack's finger. Everything he felt seemed to choke him with emotion. As he stared into Shane's eyes, Jack thought he would honestly cry. Shane was so beautiful. His hair was the same color as Gwen's, but his features practically screamed him. The eyes however were a mix of Gwen's green and his blue. The most perfect combination. Everything inside him wanted to protect him.
But now Jack didn't only have one life he had to worry about. He had two. Two people he wanted to love and protect forever. And it was that exact feeling that he really didn't need in his life right now because it would only mean the worse.
Cause we're here one minute, the next we're dead. So love me and leave me, but try not to need me. Enough said. I want you, but I don't need you.
"Jack, weevils!" Ianto yelled.
"Where?"
"Old warehouse six blocks from here. Gwen is already on her way, but she could use the backup."
"Great, first day back I find out I have a son and I also have to deal with weevils. Can this get any better?"
"Well, Martha got married this summer and you missed the wedding and I'm engaged," Ianto answered with a blank expression.
Jack gave him a long look, "I was being sarcastic."
Ianto shrugged and Jack loaded his pistol and grabbed some weevil spray while heading out for the black SUV. He climbed in and sped off. Gwen's car was already there when he arrived.
"Gwen," he called.
He didn't receive an answer and walked forward. He cautiously opened the door, pistol first, weevil spray second. There was silence until a boom and a "oomph" were heard. At that Jack ran in without taking the necessary precautions. He kicked open the door from where he heard a yelp that could only be Gwen and almost dropped dead at the sight he saw. The weevil was on top of her, his teeth bared and aiming for her jugular.
Jack raised his gun and shot directly in the head four times, but not before blood that was not the weevils splattered all over the place and left Gwen shaking with death. Jack pushed the weevil off of her holding a hand over the gash as she gasped for air.
"It's okay, darling. I'm here now. I'm here," he cooed.
Her vision was becoming blurry and she couldn't feel the lower half of her body. She could make Jack though. He was there. She wasn't alone. She wasn't alone.
"Gwen, no," Jack said as he saw her beginning to fade. Tears began to course down his cheeks as he rocked her in his arms, "Not yet. Gwen, I need you to stay with me."
Gwen eyes seemed to widen for a moment letting him know she heard, just before all breath seemed to cease within her and her eyes stared into nothingness forever. Jack buried his face in her hair as he cried and kissed the top of her head wishing with all his might that he had done things differently.