Author's Note: This is my first Las Vegas story and it was written as a challenge from a friend with some pretty strict parameters. So, Boo, I hope you like what I came up with.
This is a Mary/Danny-centric story mostly meant to embody some closure. But it's got a couple of other characters thrown in too. I actually only watched a small part of this show's run so I'm going on what I could piece together in order to come up with a decent portrayal of the characters. I still have a ton of questions! If there are any suggestions or feedback, I'd love to hear from you. I was going blind for some of this. Apologies for the things I got wrong.
I don't own any of the Las Vegas characters nor am I seeking any profit from my musings. It's all in good fun. Thanks for reading and enjoy!
Rest in Peace
Present Day
He could barely make out a large, shadowed form through the misty evening air. However, the moon was shining brightly in the night sky, making his search a little easier. Even with the light to assist him, he had thought it would take him longer to find what he was looking for. But when he saw what he could now make out as a woman's form, kneeling low to the ground, he knew where his search would lead him.
As he got closer, he was rewarded with a better look at the person he thought of as invading his private moment. When he realized who it was, he should have been surprised but he wasn't. In fact, he couldn't have been happier to see her.
Her short hair had thrown him off, darker than what he was used to. When she turned her face more towards him, he could see weary but clear eyes peeking from dusky lashes, clearer than he had ever thought possible. Her heavy coat hid most of her body but he didn't need any more clues as to who he had followed to this spot. Under different circumstances, he might not have recognized her but the place they found themselves at the moment left no question.
The icy wind blew around them, whistling lightly and they both remained in the same position, her kneeling with her legs folded underneath her and him remaining tall and stoic in his stance. After several minutes and the dying down of the wind, he crouched next to her and placed a beautiful bouquet of flowers on the ground before brushing his hand along the hard stone beneath them. They could just make out the dark letters visible beneath the bright, starry night:
Mary Connell
Rest in Peace
October 2, 2011
"It took me a while to find this place," he said quietly, breaking their tense silence. Her lips turned up in a small smile, nodding her agreement with his assessment. It was true and he didn't just mean the fact that her grave marker was not listed in the cemetery's directory. In fact, everything on this plot of land was shrouded in secrecy. This was added to the seemingly impossible task of simply finding out where Mary had disappeared to after she left Las Vegas. But he had spent a good part of his life cracking the tough cases and he didn't find it acceptable to give up a mystery as important as the one he was currently on. He owed it to Mary.
He looked briefly at the woman sitting next to him, noting the tears streaming down her pretty face. His own eyes were filled with unshed tears for the person who, save his daughter, had meant the most to him, had saved him. She had deserved so much more from life than she received and he had thought many a time how unfair it all seemed. It often made him angry to think that the world hadn't appreciated her enough; he hadn't appreciated her enough. And yet, tainted by the times when they had hurt each other, she had been there for him in every way that mattered.
He figured the woman beside him would understand all of this and more. She had an idea of what he might be going through and what his presence there meant for both of them.
He again broke their silence with the thought that came to him over and over again when he dwelled upon the loss of his beloved Mary. "She was the best. The absolute best."
The woman beside him smiled at that. "Yeah, she was," she replied quietly glancing at him. They continued to sit in front of the marble marker together on the chilly October evening, both thinking of Mary and the anniversary of her death.
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Spring 2011
Yeah, Danny had regrets.
A few years ago, he thought that things were just beginning for him and that he was finally getting the life that he was meant to relish. Even with the exit of Ed and Mary from his daily life, he had a blossoming relationship with Delinda and his most treasured little lady, his daughter Lillian, was in the process of making her arrival.
Both Ed and Mary had been such important parts of his life. Even when things were running smoothly, he missed how things had been before, the good the bad and the ugly. He was thankful for his friends and the stability that allowed him to live a comfortable life. But more often than he liked, he was reminded of something Ed would have said or a found himself searching for an amusingly exasperated reaction from Mary. He realized it was too much to ask that they be a part of his life given their circumstances but that didn't mean that he didn't long for it all the same.
He was able to communicate with Ed often enough but Mary was gone to him. If he were being honest with himself, even before she disappeared, she had been gone from him for a while. He wondered if things could have been different if they hadn't drifted apart, if he had made different choices. He liked to think that she was somewhere living her dream just like she had indicated but he had his doubts. He knew her too well. He had taken care of her towards the end but outside of crisis mode, her instinct to protect him was stronger. He wouldn't have put it past her to tell him exactly what he wanted to hear so he would get on with his life without worrying about her.
So he did just that because that's what she wanted. But sometimes when you think you've got it all, something -- or many things -- remind you of how fragile the good times are.
One of those many things included the discovery that although he and Delinda loved each other and were committed to making a home for themselves and their daughter, neither one of them was cut out for domestic life. They tried mixing things up. They tried unconventional and conventional lifestyles. But besides their uncompromising love for Lilly, nothing felt quite right. They were both free spirits and after 4 years together, they had to admit that they just plain didn't like being tied down even if they wanted it to work. But no matter how annoyed they got with each other these days, they put on a good front for Lilly. And truth be told, they got along a lot better when they weren't attempting to play house.
Making things that much harder was balancing his home life with running a major casino and hotel in Las Vegas. He had gotten a taste of his former boss' life before and he hadn't gotten any better at dealing with the stressors that kept him in a constant state of trouble with Delinda. Whether it was the missed family time, the flirtatiousness with the ladies or the constant risks he took everyday, she wasn't happy playing the Jillian to his Ed and made no secret of it. On his end, he wasn't terribly thrilled with Delinda's constant interference and spontaneous drama that caused him that much more stress on top of everything else. The temptations and responsibilities that surrounded him every day at work were breaking him down.
Then there was just the responsibility of being a local hero in Vegas, keeping up the relationships and staying on the right side of the big hitters and small-time players alike. It was a lot being that kind of public figure and sometimes it seemed completely overwhelming. He felt like he was starting to get a little slower about knowing what was going on which didn't sit well with him at all.
So, Danny's world was slowly beginning to unravel piece by piece.
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Present Day
Glancing at the man seated next to her in the chilly, mountainous air, the woman noted that he had changed a lot. He looked older of course, but in the time she had known him, he tended to have those spurts of maturity given his life's circumstances. He had a little less hair than the last time she'd seen him and she was certain he'd be horrified if she voiced such an observation out loud. But he looked good. She was glad for that because he had been through a lot.
"Nice flowers," she noted, pointing to the bouquet of lilies and roses he had left. "Well, at least you didn't bring tulips." Her tone held a bit of cheekiness that he found welcome.
He flashed her his signature grin which she returned for a split second. "You try finding daisies over here at this time of the year." She nodded and leaned over to caress one of the soft flower petals with her fingers.
"How are Delinda and Lillian?" she asked.
Danny looked at her seemingly surprised that she would inquire. It was impossible to know what kinds of information she kept up with. He understood that she had had to go away after ... everything. He assumed she had severed all ties. "They're both doing well. They're currently spending a lot of my money in some elite boutique of some sort I'm sure." He was proud of himself for keeping the bitterness out of his voice. Delinda did like to spend his money and she was teaching their daughter to follow in her high-heeled footsteps. He tried not to mind much that he was paying an arm and a leg in alimony for the time being but some moments he was more successful at that than others.
She didn't seem to notice anything amiss, however, and he was grateful. "I haven't seen Lillian in ages. I bet she's so big by now. And even more gorgeous."
Her expression and tone were unreadable but Danny liked to believe that there was genuine affection accompanying her words. As usual, he couldn't hide the adoration he felt about his daughter though. "Her new thing is that she's learning all about The Strip. She wants to name the casinos in order and tell me all about what's in them." Lilly was an absolute wonder and he couldn't imagine not having her in his life. He'd make a hundred mistakes a million times over if it led him to her.
Upon hearing that, her face lit up in a genuine grin. She saw the effect that talking about his daughter had on Danny and couldn't help but be happy for how things turned out for him. "Now that's a bona fide McCoy baby. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree it seems."
He hated to see her smile fade but was glad that he had witnessed a momentary brightness in her. He imagined those moments were few and far between for her these days. "I wasn't sure if you had any connections..." He didn't want to push her. He was counting the moments until she became skittish and started fretting over his presence in her new life. Until then, he wanted to learn as much as he could about the woman next to him.
"Well, you know Ed. Nothing goes on with his people that he doesn't know about." She tried to infuse some amusement in her voice but failed miserably. Danny had to acknowledge his ignorance of what her life must be like these days. "I try to keep up with him even if it's not as often as he'd like." She sighed and looked off into the distance and Danny feared that his time with her was running out. He knew about that feeling all too well. "I'm sure you can appreciate that I like keeping to myself these days."
And he did. So much tragedy had surrounded her throughout the years. She was strong in her own unique way, everyone had thought so no matter if they had or hadn't liked her for it. But even the strongest among them had their limits.
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August 2011
Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves despite the tense mood of the McCoys' visit to Europe to visit the Delines. Danny and Delinda weren't getting along very well and it was pretty apparent. But Danny imagined the easing of their tension had something to do with Lilly being in their midst; she could lift anyone's mood with a throwaway grin. At the moment, Delinda and Jillian had gone into town with Lilly to shop and eat and shop some more. He figured they'd be gone for the bulk of the day leaving Danny to check in on things back in Vegas.
But Danny knew something was wrong when he saw Ed coming towards him with "that" look on his face.
"Hey," Ed offered standing in front of Danny who was sitting at his desk taking care of some work-related business.
"Hey. Thanks for letting me use your office. I know I'm not supposed to be working; I know I promised. But, well, you know how it goes." He was hoping not to get a lecture about family responsibilities this time around but it was best to brace himself for it just in case.
However, Ed hadn't seemed to register Danny's lapse at all as he slowly sat down on the couch next to the desk. "Umm, I just got off the phone with a contact that I use to keep my up to date on all my various ... interests." Danny figured this must be something important because he hadn't seen Ed look this nervous in a long while. "Look, I don't know how to tell you this. I thought about not telling you at all for a lot of different reasons but I know that filling you in is the right thing to do."
"Ed, what is it? Is it about Lilly? Is she in danger?" He made to get up so that he could assemble his team to deal with any threats to his daughter.
Ed grabbed Danny's arm and led him back to his seat. "No, no, it's nothing like that, kid." Danny relaxed only a little but took his seat again. He was somewhat relieved but the look on his mentor's face indicated that his relief might be premature. Taking a good look at his father-in-law, he realized how old he appeared in that moment. He was pale and shaking slightly. He didn't seem like the larger-than-life casino boss that he had known and learned from for years. Whatever was on his mind, it was not going to be good.
"As I was saying, I just got this call. It's about Mary."
Danny felt himself stop breathing at the mention of her name. They had rarely spoken of her since she had gone into hiding several years ago. Notwithstanding a few moments in the end, he and Mary hadn't been on the best of terms and Danny was supposed to be building a life with Ed's daughter -- a life that was growing increasingly troubled these days. Over the last few years, he had had plenty of time to ponder how he had royally screwed up his relationship with Mary. It shouldn't be a surprise that his current one was falling right in line.
But the last time they had a real discussion about his oldest friend was the day that Lillian had been born; Lillian Mary McCoy. Delinda had insisted and Danny could do nothing but acquiesce, despite how painful it was to think of her. He knew he would likely never see Mary again no matter how much he hoped for it. Pairing her memory with the person he loved most in the world was perfection.
His mind reeled with the possible scenarios that would bring Ed to his office in such a somber mood. Had the police caught up with her? Had their been an accident? Or maybe he was misreading the situation entirely and she was living happily ever after with her picket fence, 5 kids and 10 dogs. But despite Mary's last message to him, he knew that wasn't the case, just like he knew Ed wasn't here bringing him good news about his former best friend.
"Danny," Ed called out, bringing him back to the present. "She's sick; very sick." Danny's jaw must have hit the floor in shock. "She's at the end of the line and it's not looking good."
Danny stared at the man in front of him but could not for the life of him think of any response to such crippling news. His first thought was that for all the tragedies she had endured in her life, this is what she gets? It was in that moment that he felt the full extent of how cruel simple existence could be. He tried to find his voice but to no avail.
Ed was well aware that this news would devastate Danny. Sure he was invested in the life that his protege had built with his daughter and he would kill anyone who threatened their happiness. But he also recognized what Mary had meant to Danny; what they had meant to each other. Things could have been so different for them. But as complicated as the situation was, his loyalty to Mary was one of the strongest ties he maintained to his old life. That girl had seen so much heartache and abandonment and yet she made everything and everyone around her better. She was too good for this world and it tore him apart thinking about the happiness she had been denied.
Ed took pity on him and tried to explain further. "I didn't find out until recently. She doesn't like me sticking my nose in her life anymore -- you know how she is," he grinned nervously.
In actuality, Danny couldn't say that he did. He remembered her being pretty stubborn the last year or so before she left -- it was part of her new lease on life that she thought she needed. He wondered if that was the real reason for her being stand-offish with Ed since he could see Mary insisting that he not endanger himself by associating with her.
"I'm going to try to find out as much as I can but without having medical access to her, it's going to be difficult. It's been like pulling teeth for my man to find out as much as we know now."
"Well then maybe he's mistaken," Danny immediately responded. That had to be it because this could not be happening to her.
"I wish it were. It's been authenticated."
"Screw authentication! I'm just supposed to accept this without another thought?" Danny raged. "And who the hell is this 'man' who's word you're taking? Does he even know what the hell he's dealing with?"
Ed sighed deeply at the younger man's anger. He had known it wasn't going to be an easy conversation to have with him. But they both had to remember that this was Mary at stake. "Danny calm down! Do you think I would tell you something like this without knowing for sure? What the hell do you think this is?" Danny remained silent, begrudgingly realizing that Ed had a point.
Danny smashed his fist against the desk and then shoved his work papers across the room in frustration. "Well, if he knows all of this then he can arrange to get the best doctors on her case. No expense spared. I don't give a damn who can trace what, she's not going anywhere without a fight."
Ed smiled to himself, thinking about how that had been his first reaction too. Thus, he was way ahead of Danny on that one. "Everything that could be done has been done. And even if I had better access to her, Danny, those decisions are entirely up to her."
Danny again turned his wraith upon Ed. "So you're saying that we just let her die? How long have you known about this? Sure, we'll just sit around the pool drinking cocktails and checking our bank accounts. Jesus, Ed, are you that bitter? Do you blame her for having to leave your old life, is that it? Or are you in some twisted way trying to protect Delinda?"
"Watch it, son. You don't want to have this conversation with me seeing as how you two weren't exactly on the best of terms when she left. Look, I'm doing all I can but everything about this situation takes time. And it's time I'm not sure we have so I don't want to waste it fighting with you."
The idea of time running out on Mary made Danny absolutely ill. He sat back down in his chair, the fight having gone out of him in an instant. He rested his arms against his knees and responded in a voice so quiet, Ed had to strain to hear. "What am we supposed to do about this, huh? What am I supposed to do?"
Ed pulled his chair closer to Danny and placed his hand on top of his. Despite how complicated the entire situation was, he genuinely felt bad for his surrogate son. "You get closure, kid. She wants to talk but it has to be today. She's very particular in how we communicate and this is the only chance we've got. I had to beg just to get this opportunity and for whatever reason, I don't think it's going to come around again."
"Today, as in ... today?" Danny was as close to a panic as Ed had ever seen him. "What the hell am I supposed to say to her? I don't even know how I feel and I have to ... "
"You'll think of something. You have until 2:00 this afternoon." The elder man rose from his seat and gently grabbed Danny's shoulder in support before leaving him alone with his tumultuous thoughts.
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Present Day
"So how did you find this place anyway?" she asked with genuine curiosity.
Danny chuckled, "it wasn't easy, let me tell you." It was so comfortable to fall back in step with their usual banter. He wished it felt like no time had passed at all but everything around them distractingly indicated otherwise. "But when you set out to find someone who didn't want to be found, you know you've got your work cut out for you."
He turned to look at her profile, still in awe that he had run into her here. It really had been quite a challenge to find their current spot. But he hadn't been sitting on his ass all those years in surveillance. He knew a thing or two about uncovering secrets. And he had been relentless in pursuing Mary's whereabouts. He had traced every kind of record feasible from credit cards to phone calls. Of course, the fact that she wasn't going by Mary Connell anymore made things that much more difficult.
When he kept hitting dead end after dead end, he had broken down and asked Ed for any information he had as well as the resources he had been using to keep in contact with her. At first, Ed had outright refused. Mary had been quite clear that she didn't want anyone to find her and Ed was adamant about respecting that. As far as she was concerned, the Vegas chapter of her life was closed and she didn't want to compromise any of her former friends. After she got sick, the distance was simply because she didn't want anyone remembering her ill and on her deathbed.
Making things more complicated with Ed, his request came soon after he and Delinda had split and he wasn't sure it was healthy for Danny to go around chasing ghosts, both for his daughter's and granddaughter's sake but also because of his allegiance to Mary. But as Danny had explained to Ed, his therapist thought he needed the closure that finding her would bring, even if it just meant laying her favorite flowers on her grave.
So after almost six months of endless searching, countless favors cashed in and bargained for and a few marginally illegal tactics, he had traced her to here: a small town in Switzerland where she had spent her final days. She had been living in a retreat of sorts for terminally ill patients where they could live out their last days in peace and beauty. She had been there under another name and, of course, all of his hard work and perseverance had paid off too late.
She was gone. She had died two months after the last time he had heard her voice. And he had guessed correctly that she would want to be buried as who she was and not as who she had been forced to become. Even her grave marker had been hidden, as it was unlisted in the directory of the retreat's cemetery. But when Danny noticed that the markers skipped in its numbering, he assumed correctly that he had found her hiding spot.
It had taken him quite some time to work up the nerve to come see her. In a way, he didn't want to face the truth of the situation even though he had known it was coming. He had had this undying hope that things would finally turn out right for her and, at the very least, he wanted the opportunity to say goodbye in person and tell her everything he had wanted to say since hearing that she was ill.
After he had finally worked up the courage to hop on a plane and visit her grave for the one-year anniversary of her death, he never would have guessed he'd find the woman standing next to him there. It looked like he wasn't the only one who needed closure.
Noticing Danny lost in thought, his old friend spoke once more. "So I should have figured that if anyone was going to find this spot, it was you."
"You mean, you could actually doubt my sleuthing skills," he added trying to lighten the mood a bit.
She smiled lightly, glancing at him for the briefest of moments. "Actually, I was more counting on how nosey you've always been. For better or worse, sometimes you just couldn't leave things alone." She sighed and reluctantly stood, still gazing at Mary's grave. "You know she didn't really want to be found Danny. She wasn't looking for you to save her."
He looked up at her now standing directly in the moonlight's glow. He had expected her to shine too but she retained her shrouded appearance as she readied herself to leave. He followed her lead and stood up, relishing the camaraderie he felt standing alongside his old friend once again.
"I know she didn't. It doesn't mean that I could stop looking though; even if I couldn't save her."
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August 2011
Danny had had a little over 2 hours to think about what he'd say to Mary when he had her on the phone but he had yet to come up with anything that sounded even remotely indicative of how he was feeling right now. He couldn't conceive of a world without Mary in it, even if he didn't know where she was. He just needed to know that she was alive somewhere, hopefully doing well and getting everything she ever wanted out of life.
But apparently, that wasn't the case. She was out in the world hurting and alone. It was so wrong on so many levels. He couldn't believe that he was only going to have a few minutes to say his last words to her.
She was going to be on a secure, untraceable line precisely at 2:00 that would only hold for 5 minutes. And according to Ed, she didn't want to have any contact with anyone from her old life during her last days. And absolutely no one was to actually see her in person. He figured he'd leave it to Danny to talk about it with Delinda and Mike. Eventually, he planned on filling Sam in on the news, wherever she happened to be at the moment, but not right now. She was going to be devastated and he had had enough for one day dealing with Danny.
What Ed hadn't told Danny was that Mary at first, didn't even want him told at all. But Ed had insisted that Mary receive some closure and that Danny would want that too. They had argued relentlessly about it over several conversations with Mary coming up with any and every excuse to sidetrack the inevitable. She told him she didn't want to disturb Danny's tranquil family life; she didn't want to put herself through the stress of dealing with her feelings for him; and finally, playing on what she saw as Ed's partial loyalties, she had begged him to think of her feelings first rather than what was best for Danny or Delinda. But Ed only had her best interests at heart. He was one of the few people in her life who ever had.
Finally, Ed came back into his study at five minutes to 2:00 and they waited together for Ed to authenticate the call after it came in. He would then turn the phone over to Danny and give them some privacy to talk. It was Ed that had arranged for Delinda, Jillian and Lillian to be gone from the house but he would run interference just in case they happened to return during the short time Danny had to talk to Mary.
When the phone rang precisely at 2:00, Danny jumped out of his seat with nervousness, sitting back down again as Ed handled the formalities. Then before he was ready, Ed turned the receiver over to him. He grabbed the phone quickly, not wanting to waste a second. He missed the soft look of concern and sympathy that Ed directed at him before leaving the room, closing the door tightly behind him.
Danny held the phone in his shaking hand, anxious to start the conversation but so frightened at the same time. Ed had given him some of the details of Mary's illness and he was still trying to process it all while trying to think of what could be even remotely appropriate to say to her under the circumstances. He hadn't spoken to her in so long. It felt like a lifetime. He was afraid that she'd be different, or worse yet, that he'd be different and she would be able to tell right away. But they had to start somewhere.
"Hey you," he said softly.
"That's my line." He could hear the smile in her response and he thought surely things would be okay. Everything Ed said had just been a big misunderstanding and she was lying on a beach somewhere, happy and healthy. But the tired way she spoke the words left no doubt as to what she was going through.
"Is it? he said playfully. "My mistake. Do you want to start over again?" he could hear her weak chuckle and felt his heart break once again.
"That won't be necessary Danny. I'll let you get away with it this time." Although the words were meant to be light, neither could deny the weight of her statement; the fact that there likely wouldn't be a next time for so many reasons.
"Look, I can't talk for long. I know Ed's explained what's going on and I don't want to waste any time. Things aren't looking good for me and -- "
"Don't say that!"
"Danny, I don't have the energy to argue but know that this is bad. Very bad, this thing that I've got. The doctors have done everything they could for me." They were both silent for several long moments. "Ed convinced me that I needed to say goodbye."
"You had to be convinced?" he asked incredulously. He could hear her labored intake of breath on the other line and regretted his tone with her.
"You have your own life now ... with your family."
He sighed sadly. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?" He didn't think she had said something like that out of bitterness but it stung nonetheless. He never should have implied that she wasn't special to him.
"Come on. We've been through the drama and we haven't spoken in a long time. We've both lived just fine like that."
"Have we?" He hadn't meant to ask out loud but there it was.
She paused. "Danny, is something going on? Is something wrong?" Her worry was typical Mary. It looked like she wasn't a different person after all. But he would be damned if he put any of his stress on her. That was the last thing he wanted for her -- she didn't need to worry about yet again saving him from himself.
He regrouped and focused on the situation between them right then. "What's wrong is that I'm losing my best friend in the world and there's nothing I can do about it."
His anguish was real but he could tell that she wasn't buying his attempts at a diversion. She let it go nonetheless.
"I can't believe you're dying on me," he said jokingly, trying to control his sniffles and keep from blubbering through their time together.
Happy to hear what sounded like the Danny she remembered, she laughed gently into the phone. "Believe me, I'm not thrilled about it either. It pretty much sucks so far."
"I wish I was there to hold your hand."
"I don't want you here," she replied forcefully with more strength than she had seemed capable. Her words hurt but he tried to put it aside. Of course, she wouldn't want him by her side. Too much had happened between them.
"It's not like that Danny. I'm so scared and there would be nothing better than having you sit with me while I go through this." Danny couldn't control the stream of tears rolling down his face at hearing her confession. "But you need to focus on the future, not the past."
He was so frustrated with how powerless he felt. "You always did like to make those decisions for the both of us, Mare. I guess now is no different." That wasn't to say that her decisions weren't always ultimately right even if they weren't made in the healthiest way. He wasn't angry, just incredibly sad and scared just like she was. He winced as he heard what sounded like a pained sigh come from her again.
"I didn't want to contact you to rehash old arguments or make you feel bad." She sounded so tired and there was nothing else in the world Danny wanted to do than to take her in his arms and make all her pain go away. "I wanted to say that I love you and that I'm proud of you, of the man you've become. You've always been there for me and I want you to know that no matter what's happened, I've always been so thankful to have had you in my life. I just wanted you to remember that after I'm gone and be happy when you think of me."
Danny was at a loss for words. This was all too much for him. His regrets, his love for her, the realization that she wouldn't be somewhere out there in the world when he thought of her. The sadness of it all was overwhelming. "Mary, I ..." He was too choked up to continue. He had so much to say yet he couldn't think of anything. All he had was what was in his heart. "There's no writing yourself out of who I am. I'll never forget that we spent the first half of our lives being everything to each other. You kept me honest and you were always upfront with me even through the hard stuff. I can't help but feel guilty, like I screwed everything up between us," he cried. "You deserved so much better than me."
"No Danny, you need to let that go. We both made mistakes with each other and you always tried to do right by me. You saved me so many times in so many ways and I don't have the words to describe to you how grateful I am for that and for your friendship." She paused and through her tears she attempted to catch the breath that seemed to be failing her either due to fatigue or emotion. "But that was also partly responsible for that fantasy I held on to about us and it wasn't fair to hold you to that. I was your friend and I loved you but I should have let you go long before we grew apart."
The emotion of the situation hit him like a ton of bricks and he was openly weeping at this point. "I love you, Mare," he whispered through his tears. "So much. A lot of things between us changed but that never did."
"I know," she acknowledged just as quietly. "You never know. Maybe there's a miracle still out there for us and I'll beat this thing and find some new, exciting life that I can tell you all about." Her voice was wistful as if she had thought about and wished for that possibility many times. But there was a harshness too knowing this dream wasn't going to happen for her.
They stayed on the line, both of them weeping silently wanting to say so much more but knowing they had said enough. Thirty seconds later, an almost inaudible click indicated that the line had been cut and they were separated forever. Finally, they had reached the end of the Danny and Mary story.
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Present Day
"How did you find this place? He took a moment to look at the picturesque view from where they were standing and was glad that Mary's final resting place was in a spot so beautiful.
She flashed him an enigmatic smirk. "Well, I had a little help. Let's just say that I was inspired and that led me here." She gazed at their surroundings as well and her grin faded as quickly as it began. "It's time to go."
"I know," he replied, yet making no move to leave. They both stared at the marker of their dear Mary, knowing that after tonight, they'd leave her behind forever. "I'm never going to forget her, you know," he said sadly.
"None of us that loved her will." She sighed, gaining the strength she needed to walk away. "But she'd want us to move on without her. You know, be happy, live without regret and all that stuff." She squeezed his hand and he gifted her with a smile, warming her in the cool chill of the night breeze.
Together they stepped away from the grave and turned back towards the pathway that would lead them away from the cemetery. Their silence remained but a little bit of life returned to them with each step that they took towards their future yet unwritten.
When they finally reached the main road, still hand in hand, the mood seemed to lighten and she turned to assess him under the natural light. She smiled brightly to herself before returning her eyes to the road. Danny, having noticed her attention, simply grinned in return, choosing not to give her a hard time about it.
"I have to tell you, Danny, you're looking good," she said with another slightly flirtatious appraisal.
"Yeah?" he joked, puffing out his chest and sucking in his gut a little. "'Cause I've been working out lately ..."
"Is that so?" she replied, now laughing at his attempts to impress. They had both missed this rapport and were reveling in it while they had the opportunity. Soon they would have to go their own way but for now, it was all about them.
Danny returned her appraisal with one of his own. "You're looking pretty good there yourself. Different, but very good -- uh, what name are you going by these days again?"
"Aaaah, clever. Thank you for the compliment." The mysterious smile had returned but this time her expression held a bit of playfulness that he hadn't seen in oh so long.
"C'mon, I've got to call you something."
She glanced at him quickly and her smile widened. "I'm known as Shana now."
"Shana," he repeated back slowly. "Sounds sexy -- is that your stripper name?" he asked with mock seriousness. She nudged him in the side with her elbow for his remark but didn't offer an explanation. "Actually," he responded knowingly, "it's funny because I had this really good friend growing up who's favorite cartoon character was named Shana. I mean, she was obsessed with her. Something about her being a redhead and that redheads had to stick together, especially when they were kicking butt with the boys."
"Sounds cute."
"Yeah, it was the cutest thing ever -- well, I didn't think it was cute at the time but being the ever-accomodating best friend that I was, I endured hours of television and comic book shopping just so she could talk about how great this character was."
"Oh, I'm sure you did. Your sacrifices are so incredibly ... admirable." He looked over at her and saw that she was failing miserably to suppress her grin at his description.
"I agree. Of course she told people that she was into the character for the guns and cool explosions and stuff but we both knew the truth. In fact, if I remember correctly, she always said that if she had a secret identity, Shana would be her codename."
"Really!"
"Yeah, really! She thought it would be perfect. You know, in case I needed to find her again." He whispered the last bit softly into her ear. "You wouldn't know anything about that would you?" he asked with innocence.
She just continued to smile and walked slowly along the moonlit path. "You're so far out in left field. I mean, so incredibly, ridiculously far. Hell, you're not even in the game anymore, McCoy."
He couldn't help himself. He dropped her hand in favor of putting an arm around her and she reached around his waist and hugged him to her through his thick coat. No matter what happened with them five minutes, five months or five years from now, they would have these moments together. It was the most peace that either had had or could have hoped for in a long time.
Danny kissed the top of her head and guided her towards the gate leading them away from the past. "Well 'Shana,'" he emphasized, "I hope that we'll be able to get to know each other better. Something tells me that we're going to get along famously."
Maybe there had been a miracle reserved for them after all.
The End