Walls
I finished one and a half years at Barden University before I decided that it was finally time to move to Los Angeles to peruse my musical ambition. My father, as promised, helped me move into an apartment and settle down and Luke, the old station manager, put in a good word for me when I applied for my first job at a local nightclub.
The first few months in my new home were torture, regretting my decision to move away. I'd kick myself that I left her behind, as much as I cared for her, I couldn't admit it, and in the end she thought I was using her just for sex. I left behind my friends, my family just because of my own stupid mistake.
Shaking my head at the memories, I leave my apartment. The owner of the club I work at has just opened a new club, and his opening night is tonight. He wants me to DJ for him. I couldn't have turned him down, and I smile to myself, one positive out of all the negatives, I have my foot in the door for a musical career.
I arrive at the new club, The Warehouse, early. I have to get my equipment set up and make sure I have the appropriate songs and mixes ready to go. This is the first time I've seen the new club, it really lives up to its name, in its former life it was just a warehouse, probably a packing facility. The owner has jazzed it up a bit, neon signs, a red carpet, painted matte black instead of the usual rusty white of a warehouse.
Parking my car out back, I jump out and see the 'Employee's Only' door. I assume this is where I'm headed, so I grab my equipment and make my way over and push the door open. I am immediately hit by fluorescent light, and I look to both my left and right. This is just a hallway. A sound tech runs past though and I collar him, asking him where I should be going. He kindly shows me where I can dump my personal belongings and takes me through, up a flight of stairs and out into the DJ's booth. I look around the place, it's freaking huge! Seriously, it's like the owner didn't renovate the interior and I take a moment to question whether tonight is the correct night for opening.
The sound tech notices my facials, "Wait till the lights come on, it's fucking awesome," he grins down at me. I nod my head, understanding what he is saying, and agreeing that whatever my owner has pulled off, really will be fucking awesome. "Well, uh, you can get yourself set up now if you like, and we can run some sound checks to make sure everything is good?"
I take my eyes off the club room in front of me and look to the man, "Sound good, dude," I agree with him. He nods and runs off down the stairwell we came up. His presence is quickly replaced by the owner, it's not uncomfortable, it just surprises me. "Nice place you got here, boss," I tell him.
He smiles at me. "Thanks Mitchell," his use of my last name never seemed to phase me. "Thanks for agreeing to DJ tonight,"
"Not a prob," I tell him happily. "Secretly hoped you'd offer me the job,"
We share a brief laugh before he wishes me good luck and leaves to attend to the rest of his club staff, the night has to run as smoothly as possible.
Within a a couple of hours, I am ready. Quickly heading to the bathroom and changing my wardrobe from an oversized grey hoodie, fat pants and my ugg boots, I reemerge in my casual black skinny jeans, combat boots and a blue and black flannelette shirt worn open, exposing my black v-neck singlet. I rush back to the DJ booth, and look around, the bartenders are ready, bouncers are stationed and I see the owner standing with the sound tech behind me, both nod, signaling I can start working my magic. I pull my headphones over my ears and start everything up. Sound fills the room, bass thumping at every corner, mixing in the middle of room. The lights are switched off and replaced by multi coloured ones, strategically placed to give the best effect, a couple of quick flashes of the strobe lights and the patrons come flooding in.
I recognise a few of them, regulars at the owners first club, and I see them look up at me, presumably checking out who the DJ is. I smile as I watch them become exited, seeing some of their friends and pointing up at me. This ended up being a chain reaction, and when the room was full, I could hear screams and whistles over the deafening music, everyone enjoying the night.
About an hour and a half passed by, and I lowered the music, catching everyone's attention. I feel the owner's presence in the booth with me and he rests his hand on my shoulder.
"Welcome to the Warehouse!" I say enthusiastically into the mic I have just picked up, the response was wild. "I'm so glad you could join us tonight to celebrate the opening of this totally amazing club!" I hear a few people yell out my DJ name, followed up by a few wolf whistles. "I need some feedback for my boss though, so tell me, how great is this club?!" I yell out, getting a thunderous reply. "Sorry, I can't hear you?" Even though it would be virtually impossible for the club to get any louder, they manage it.
I feel the owner squeeze my shoulder and leave, my cue to start playing my tunes again. The first one I choose, and totally unintentionally, was my Titanium/500 miles mash up. This was one of the mixes I had made for her, but because I was cowardly and stupid, I never got around to playing it for her. I shake my head at the thought of my life back in Atlanta, the patrons seemed to be enjoying the song.
The night came to a successful close, and as the last few patrons left, the lights were switched back on and myself, like the rest of the staff, were called to an end of night meeting with the owner. He had quickly gone through the systems to see if we had made a profit, and according to the numbers, we had, and he was more than pleased. Each of us received a few hundred dollars as a bonus for working a successful night. He had talked to me about becoming the resident DJ at the club, and of course I said yes, he also tasked the sound tech to be my assistant. I later found out his name was James.
I leave my gear at the club, except my laptop. Being the resident DJ, I have no need to move my equipment around. I wander down the hallway I first step foot in six hours ago and smile, it really is a foot in the door, coming to the exit, I pull the door open and get a good long breath of the cool night air. I took a break during my set, leaving my laptop playing pre-made mixes, but my break wasn't long enough to get outside. It was always so stuffy in nightclubs, the only downside to working at one, but in the end, I thought about how that made this moment all the more enjoyable.
I wander across the carpark, and I'm stopped. I see a figure out of the corner of my eye, ignoring it, I force myself to walk. Not exactly the night I want to be robbed, raped or murdered.
"Beca?" I hear a familiar voice call out, I don't want to believe she's followed me to LA. "Beca!?" she's now yelling, her footsteps fast approaching, I open my car door and place my laptop on the passenger seat and prepare myself to step in the car. "Beca, listen to me, please!"
I clench my eyes shut, placing my thumb and forefinger to the bridge of my nose and squeezing. I sigh, defeated, I ran away, fucked up, maybe this was my second chance? But I don't let people in. Ever. I look up to the woman, closing the car door behind my back. "What?"
"Good to see you too," she told me, rolling her eyes. Her red hair was let down, the fruity scent of her shampoo filling the space between us. "You left," she stated.
I stare at her, "We got too close," I quickly reply, throwing pieces of the chance I might still have with her.
"You pushed me away," her arms cross, and its now that I realise she's wearing a little black dress and stilettos. Had she heard about me Djing at this club and come to it just to see me or was she with someone else? The thought of her being with someone else made my stomach drop.
"You know how I am, Chloe," I tell her, my conversation with her is going no where. "Is there anything else you want to say to me?" I'm hoping there is, I want her, I'm just too scared.
"Have lunch with me," I furrow my brows at her sentence, and she notices this. "I didn't come all this way just to be turned down,"
"No," I tell her.
"Not a date, just friends," she clarifies.
I mutter under my breath, "Fine, twelve thirty, the cafe across from Toxic, don't be late," I tell her. Toxic was the older club my owner ran, this was kind of a safe haven, I knew the area, and if needed, I could escape to the club.
Screw the foreplay, I think as I bite the redhead's neck, marking her as mine. I make quick work of her clothes, throwing them aside, pushing her back up against her dorm wall. Moans escape her lips as we kiss, my tongue exploring her mouth, tasting her. She tries to compete with my dominance, but I don't let her, quickly shoving my hand down and playing with her folds. She whimpers as she moves her kisses to the top of my shoulder. I delve my fingers into her wet sex and she cries out. She wasn't expecting that, I smirk to myself. How did I get so lucky to get this girl?
"Take your clothes off," she breathes out.
"No," I tell her, using my thumb to flick her clit as my fingers push deeper into her.
"Be-ca," she moans.
I grab her breast with my free hand, rolling the hardened nipple between my fingers. I feel the red head's walls clamp around the fingers that are inside her, her orgasm coming to her. Within a few minutes, she is complete putty in my hands, pulling her from our spot on the wall, I bring her to her bed, tucking her in.
"Will you stay?" she asks me.
My heart breaks. I want to stay, but something about being in a relationship with someone scares me. "You know I don't stay," I tell her.
"So we're just friends?" she questions again, her eyes drifting shut. I nod when they're fully shut. "But I love you,"
I sigh and stay with her for a few more minutes, watching her as she enters her own world, full of the dreams and desires she has. A light snore sounds out, and I know now it's time for me to leave. I readjust the blankets on her, and tuck a strand of stray hair out of the way. "I love you too,"
The next day comes around, I rub my eyes and check my phone, mainly to check the time, but this is obstructed, by all the messages coming in from Chloe's friend.
"You should be ashamed, just a fuck?" read one of them.
"You treat her like she's a whore, can't you see she loves you." reads another, coincidentally, this one is from her best friend. "Never mind, just leave her alone, she deserves better..."
I fidget in my seat, pulling out my phone and checking the time. It's nearly half past twelve, and Chloe still hasn't turned up to the cafe I had organised with her the night before. I curse myself, this is exactly the reason I don't let myself get close to people, they bring your hopes up, leave you hanging by a thread until the very last minute. In other words, people are unpredictable, and I don't like that, not when it comes to my heart.
My mother and father's divorce was the main reason for this insecurity, both telling me it was going to be fine, that they were working on it, when really they had lied and had been filling out the necessary divorce papers. One day, boom, my mother moved out, and this tore me apart. I ended up living in my room for weeks, only coming out to go to school or to use the bathroom.
12:33. My heart sinks, she won't turn up, but as this thought runs through my mind, she takes a seat in front of me, her hair pulled up messily.
"Sorry I was a little late, I couldn't find a car park," she apologises.
I shrug my shoulders. "It's fine,"
The waitress comes around at the perfect time, breaking the, what would become, awkward silence. Chloe places her order, and before I even open my mouth she has placed mine. I curse her. The little things, I don't want to love her, I spent years perfecting these walls my parents forced me to create. The waitress notes down the order and walks away, presumably to relay the order on to their food prep team.
"So why did you come?"
"Why did you leave?"
The questions come out at the same time. We cut each other off, not hearing what we were being asked.
"You go first," I tell her, truth be told, I don't want to tell her the reason I ran.
"I miss you, Beca," she told me. It was straight, and to the point, and there was a hint of a smile flashing behind her blue eyes. "Aubrey told me I was stupid to come here, to see you, but I couldn't help it. You caused me such pain, it felt like you were using me every time we slept together, but there was something in your eyes that kept me holding on to you,"
My heart thudded loudly in my chest, emotions running through me. No, I think to myself, I have to stay strong. The waitress comes back with two coffees and informs us that our meal won't be far behind.
"So, your turn, why did you leave?" she asks me.
I gulp down a mouthful of the scalding coffee. I wish it was something stronger, something that would make me numb. Tequila. "Because," I tell her.
"Because is not an answer, Beca," she glares at me. I don't care.
"Well it is, I answered your question. Why did I leave? Because I did,"
"You're a liar," she accuses, stirring half a sachet of sugar through her coffee.
"And why do you say that?"
She looks down at her beverage, biting the corner of her lip whist she mulled something over. Finally she looked back up at me. "I heard you say it," she tells me.
"Say what?" I asked dumbly, although I'm certain I know exactly what she's talking about.
"You -" she sighs before finishing her sentence. "-said you loved me,"
I feel my heart screaming at my brain, small parts of my walls becoming chipped. Every time she had ever mentioned something about a relationship or love, she'd worked her way in. No, no, no, no, my brain kept screaming. I look down at my cup, I have nothing to say to her.
"Maybe I should just go," she states, beginning to excuse herself from the table.
"Wait," I say quickly. She looks at me, her eyes pleading with me to tell her the truth. "I thought you were asleep," I say quietly, not wanting to fully admit to telling her I loved her.
"I tried to convince myself that I was dreaming," she tells me, reaching across the table to touch my hand which is frozen to my cup. "But I know the difference between real and dream Beca,"
Chip, chip, chip. My walls breaking down. She dreamt about me, she loved me, she came back for me, she was touching me. This woman was surely going to be the death of me.
"I'm sorry," I apologise. Not just for telling her I loved her when I thought she was asleep, but for everything I ever put her through. Treating her as a sex toy, pushing her away when she was probably the best thing for me. She seemed to understand my apology, her thumb rubbing circles on the back of my hand. Chip.
The waitress wasn't much longer before she brought back the food Chloe had ordered for us, and a courtesy newspaper. The waitress appeared to grin down at me as she placed the newspaper right under my nose. I was on the front cover.
Smiling for the first time that day, I feel a little sense of pride at my face being there. I look to the redhead and flipped my hand, so that we were holding each other. Maybe it was time to bring the walls down?
"Here's to a fresh start," I tell her, bringing her hand to my lips and placing a light kiss on the back of it.
The End
AN: This fic is loosely based on a song called "Walls" by All Time Low. Reviews are always appreciated. This is a one shot fic, but if I get enough persuasion, I could possibly turn this into a multichapter? But it will need some serious persuasion.
On another note, I apologise for That Girl not being updated, I keep running into blocks with that story as I never planned anything out for it. Likewise, slow updates cuz one of my friends passed away just before I went away on holiday :(
#riphayley
Anyway...Yeah...
Hope you all enjoyed.