Crime in Shadow City
By, Storyman37 and Loregobo
CHAPTER 1.
In a land where the law has been thrown out the window, and Order is spat upon. The only thing that keeps the lawless in check is justice."G Y, HAHA PRANKED, SEXUALLY NERD" pepe exclaimed. Pepe forgive me but I have to go all out just this once… so you can come back instead of this shell of the frog you now are :( sasuke gritted through his teeth. *teleports behind you* nothing personal kid :' - ( then a feeling of a 1000 degree knife going into your back melts your mind. Pepe says " you have a weak mind that knife wasn't even real!" "not if i can help it" - *barry b benson appears stinging p3p3 but in just a nick of time pepe changed spots with peppa pig making B benson sting the wrong person. Press f to pay respects. :'-( fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
And then everyone in the store clapped because everyone hated peppa but unfortunately Barry ruptured all of his internal organs when he stung peppa. It not like he could help it; that just happens when bees sting things. Anyways BARRY B. BENSON dies :'(.
CHAPTER 2.
The whole town is at barry bee. Bensons memorial. It is super sad, for most people it is the darkest point in their life. Everyone is contemplating suicide, it's probably not helping that Eli hawkins is holding a sign that says "JUST DO IT" with a picture of Shia Labeouf on it. As the funeral starts Barry's woman is draped across his body crying hysterically the men carry her to her seat because the service is about to start. As father hulk hogan( yes the WWE super star he became a priest, so he could do the service at barry's funeral) approaches the podium it starts to rain. It's almost like God was crying himself, but really it makes sense( barry and God were personal friends). The only person who wasn't there was barry's partner on the force, graphfield. Where was graphfield you ask? Well he was at a local bar drinking one for his partner. Also he couldn't bear to face vanessa. He felt guilty for not stopping barry from running into the store and getting himself killed. The bartender tap his knuckles on the table getting graphfield's attention. "What can I do you for partner?" the bartender asks, he was talking this way because the balr was western themed. " I'm not your partner, partner" graphfield says through his teeth. "OK, chill dude what do you want for drink?" the bartender asks. "I'll let you off the hook this time, i guess ill have a lasaga martini." says graphfield. The bartender quickly pours him the drink and slides it across the counter. Graphield gulps down the succulent, nourishing lasaga martini. ";) wow" said graphield. Suddenly, once the lasaga martini hit graphield's digestive system a bunch of fluorescent light bulbs popped up in his head. Graphield realized that it was robbie rotten that brainwashed pepe into his new pr4nkish behaviror. The only cure for branwashedness was to purchase the help from the notorious bounty hunter cold steel, benis man, and kazoo kid. Graphfield picked up his fedora and tipped the bartender. "Thanks for the inspirational lasaga martini, punk."as he left the bar he lit a cig with his custom lasaga zippo lighter. Everyone looked at him with envy. One guy even going on to say " damn, that is a cool dude." Graphfield walked into the sunset determined to stop robbie rotten's nefarious plans
CHAPTER 3
As Graphfield walks into town he runs into vanessa. He doesn't notice her at first, but when she walks up and slaps him. He then recognizes her, "sorry I couldn't come to the funeral" graphfield says cold heartedly. "Barry loved you like a brother, but your to great to come to his funeral!" Vanessa storms off. Graphfield knew that she was right, but he just didn't have the guts to tell her that he secretly loves her. " I have more important things to focus on like finding the notorious bounty hunters cold steel, benis man, and kazoo kid." Graphfield says to himself. Getting himself back on track he gets in his police issued panda trueno AE86 a car built for drifting. Graphfield decided that the best course of action was to go to the police station and get files on the bounty hunters. Graphfield enters the station and walks up to officer hatsune miku, she was at the desk. Graphfield and miku had a history both of them competed for the top of their class back at the academy. " look who it is, still crying over your dead partner?" Miku said. "Wow look how far you have fallen, you're working the desk now I see" Graphfield shot back. Somebody shouts "roasted!" Neither of them pay much attention. Hatsune finally breaks the silence " the chief wants to see, he's been waiting for 30 minutes now".
Chapter 4
Knock knock. " come in." Graphfield enters the chief's office. "Morning chief, I got you some coffee" Garphfield says but really he just picked it up of off larry's desk. " cut the crap, you know why I called you in today!" Screams the chief. For a second everyone in the station stops and looks then they go back to work. Graphfield responds with " no sir, why did you call me in today?" " I called you in because you are a loose cannon Graphfield!" Shouts the chief " you're not doing your job Graphfield, and you've made zero arrests!" They sit there for awhile the chief breathes heavily. " this is bad for my cholesterol" says the chief. " sir I think someone set me and Barry up" say Graphfield " I've been investigating…" " alright that enough of your bs, quit playing games Graphfield it was bensons own fault that he got killed." Interrupted the chief " give me your badge and your gun I'm putting you on paid leave" " sir you can't do this!"cries Graphfield. " yes I can I'm the chief" say the chief. Graphfield reluctantly hands over his badge and his gun. Graphfield gets up and storms out of the chief's office.
Chapter 5
Graphfield enters the bar and sits down. "A little early to be drinking don't you think" says the bartender. "Dry Lasaga martini shaken not stirred, and make it snappy" snaps Graphfield. He sits there assessing his situation as the bartender makes his drink. " you know this is a popular hang out for bounty hunters maybe the three fellows you've been looking for might show up here" says the bartender. "How did you know what I was thinking? Are you an alien?" Shouts Graphfield. " chill out dude, here is your drink." Says the bartender, graphfield snatches the drink out of his hand knocks it back then crushes the glass in his hand, blood spurts everywhere. " BRO what the heck" shouts the bartender. BOOM, the doors burst open and ms. Hampton charges in like a wild boar. Ms. Hampton had been genetically fused to a Hampton pig because the scientist thought it would be funny and also because she was already close enough to being a pig. The experiment ended up giving her super strength and a super piggy appetite. However it came at a, Hampton sized, price. For as long hampdaddy maintained her new powers she would be cursed to talk in a pig-like manor. "Oink, I've come to kill you oink" said Hampton menacingly. Miss Hampton rolls up into a ball and rolls with some gusto at Graphfield. Little did she know that Graphfield had gotten top marks at the academy in martial arts, so he busted out some sick moves and quickly killed miss Hampton with his signature move " the lasaga gutter". The hampdaddys guts spilled all over the floor " I just gutted you like a stuffed pig" said Graphfield. "My master Robbie rotten will send more of his…" Hampton coughed up blood " goons" then the evil pig mutant died. " couldn't you have taken it outside! My boss is going to kill me!" Exclaims the bartender. " put my drink on my tab" says graphfield as he leaves the bar. "You don't have a tab! You don't pay for your drinks!" Shouts the bartender.
Chapter 6
Graphfield walks into town and spots a shady dude. He decides to follow him into a dark alley way, before Graphfield knew it he was surrounded by demons. Graphfield knew that it would be certain death if he didn't find a weapon "curse the chief for taking my gun" mutters Graphfield. Graphfield had to improvise and put his Boy Scout training to good use. He quickly took off his sock and filled it with some nuts and bolts that he found laying around. Graphfield knew that he was going to need more reach so he secured his sock to a lead pipe with his shoe lace making a morning star. Graphfield knew that a morning star alone wouldn't be able to kill the demons so he smeared his holy lasaga onto the morning star. He then went to town destroying the demons turning them into blood sausage that he would later use to make lasaga. after mutilating the demons the shady figure shot a poison tipped dart at Graphfield but thanks to his feline reflexes he dodged the dart. Graphfield used his signature move the "lasaga gutter" but this time he didn't do it has hard so he just ended up knocking the guy out. Graphfield carried the shady figure to his secret lair for some questioning.
Chapter 7
"Shut Up" came the high pitched and squeaky voice of the figure in black, from the chair he was tied to. Just as Graphfield began to respond the voice again piped up " I don't wanna hear your fat mouth anymore". Stumped, and pissed AF, Graphfield picked up a phone book and began to beat the man. This did nothing. The man merely began throwing bread at him, that he kept getting from a mysterious and endless source. Graphfield stared blankly at the man and began to convulse. The bread was too much even for a mean and lean cop from the streets. As a single tear fell from Graphfield's eye he turned to the figure and simply asked "who are you". The response was quickly and without pause "I'm breadman"."Wtf kind of supervillian is breadman" asked Graphfield. Breadman responded with a cool "A super villain who just kicked your butt with a few slices of bread." "Touche" was all Graphfield could manage to respond with. Graphfield slumped to the floor and began contemplating what to do next with his new foe. Then it hit him, use his ultimate interrogating technique lasaga boarding. Lasaga boarding is like water boarding but instead of water he uses lasaga making the interrogating more intense and unique. "That's it, I AM TIRED OF YOUR CRAP!" graphfield pulls breadman from his chair and straps him to a table "what are you going to do to me?" said breadman in a frightened manner "Im going to break you" graphfield responds as he undoes the cellophane wrap on his freshly made, demon blood sausage lasaga. " do you know what demon lasaga does to people like you?" asks graphfield "no, what does it do? " responds breadman. Graphfield doesn't respond, he just sits there and looks at him with a creepy smile and crazy eyes. Breadman's heartbeat quickens as he begins to panic. Graphfield jams the lasaga pan into his mouth then he takes his rusty spatula forcing the lasaga into his mouth. Breadman tries to scream but he can't because there is simply too much lasaga. All he manages to do is choke up the lasaga and get a quick breath before graphfield jams more down his throat. This goes on for hours when it finally stops breadman is a shell of his former self "it appears that I've run out of lasaga" says graphfield " I guess we will have to continue this tomorrow…"
Chapter 8
Waddling back into the room with another pan of lasaga for another day of torture , graphield realized that breadman was gone. Panicking he began to ransack the room, looking for hints as to where he may have gone. After a few moments he came across a note, sitting in the empty sink, in which the lasaga boarding had taken place. The note read "better luck next time bitch. Slice you later. Xoxo breadman." Swearing, graphield threw the note down and began arming himself with anti-breaponry. With ketchup bottle blasters and peanut butter grenades in hand graphfield left his lair, on a mission to find his nemesis. And protect his honor. First person on his list was dumbo the elephant. Graphfield arrives at the circus, a known hangout for badies like dumbo and his crew. Whipping out his auto 9 graphfield murdered all of dumbo's crew with one burst. " where did bread man go" shouts graphfield. dumbo panics and tries to run away but Graphfield pounces on him like a cat. "Where is breadman" repeats Graphfield. " I don't know, please don't hurt me" cries dumbo. " if you don't know then you aren't any use to me" Graphfield unholsters his auto 9 and proceeds to mutulate dumbos face with bullets. disappointed that he didn't get any info from dumbo. Graphfield decides to walk home, as he walks home he passes by a bakery. The smell of the freshly made bread makes him hungry for a lasaga sandwich. As Graphfield enters the bakery he spots breadman looking at an assortments of rye, sourdough, wheat, and white loafs of bread, it's obvious that he is having a hard time deciding what to choose. Then breadman hears the words " you should try the lasaga I hear it's quite nice" then a sickening cracking noise is heard as Graphfield uses his lasaga gutter to break breadman's back into a thousand pieces. "I like to see you run away now" says Graphfield. Breadman tries to move, but he can't because he is paralyzed from the waist down. "I'm going to ask you one time where is Robbie rotten?" Graphfield says, all of the customers leave screaming. "I'll show you where he is, I have some unfinished business with him too" says breadman " but first you have to heal me" Graphfield agrees, so he proceeds to take the last of his holy lasaga and starts to jam it into breadmans throat. "What the hell man that's not going to heal me!" Says breadman, but as he spoke his spine starts to come back together giving him the ability to walk. " I guess we're partners now" says Graphfield " I guess so" says bread man extending his hand Graphfield takes it and proceeds to shake it.
Chapter 9
Graphfield and breadman enter the the underbelly of lazy town a foul stench of Robbie rotten permeates throughout the sewer. "I got a baaaad feeling about this one" Graphfield says as he smacks his morning star in the palm of his hand.
bread man doesn't respond. As they walk down the sewer they see a light and the faint whisper of the robbie rotten's groundbreaking, trending song "we are number one" echoes around them hauntingly. they burst into room as Robbie rotten emerges from his sewage bath. " dude a little privacy" screams Robbie rotten both Graphfield and breadman cover their eyes. An hour passes breadman and Graphfield continue to cover their eyes. "Are you done getting dressed?" says breadman, no response "are you done getting dressed?" Repeats breadman this time there is a response of a laser being charged. Graphfield jumped on to breadman saving him from certain death. The laser fired leaving a hole the size of a pan of lasaga. Graphfield tries to go on the attack but Robbie Rotten uses his extremely greased body to quickly slip through a sewer grate and escape. "O shit, he's getting away", Graphield exclaimed. "Forget about that, Graph" breadman whispered as he runs his fingers through Graphfield's well kept super plush fur, "Thanks for saving me big boi" (author's note: DAMN DUDE ITS FUCKING GETTING H0T) Graphfield looks at bread man and resists at first, but then submits and leans in for smooochums. "I've been wanting to do that for a long time pardner" Graphield says in a husky tone. Graphfield begins to take of his shirt revealing his well sculpted pecs "is it just me or is getting hot in here?" asks Graphfield, "Oh...Its heating up ;)" replies breadman. Graphfield smiles and leans in for another kiss. "Do you have a condom?" asks breadman, "Nah sweetcheeks we going to have baby making sex tonight" says Graphfield as he undoes his well-worn diesel jeans. "OWO what's this", breadman gasps as he puts his hand in his pants stroking his 2 inch beefy lasaga. *Graphfield proceeds to take off his pants to reveal his lasaga smothered lower body* "to help with rubbing" whispers graphfield seductively. "What is even happening right now" Robbie Rotten whispers to himself looking through the sewer grate as he wishes he could join in on the sweet sweet love making. As the night of love making goes on breadman feels a moist sensation tickling his toes. He looks down and sees none other than Robbie Rotten succing his tender suculent toes. As breadman is about to protest robbie rotten starts sucking on his baby toe and feeling too much pleasure can't speak a word. Graphield notices Robbie and exclaims, "I was saving those for later YOU MOTHER TRUCKER!" Graphfield proceeds to pull a glock out his rear and points it at robbie " THATS MY MAN!" Robbie Rotten meekly replies "I can't help myself around such succulent soles. I wasn't always evil villain number one. Back in high school, they used to call me the toe sucking bandit. Humiliated, I told them not to come to school tomorrow and became Shadow City's number one villain."(oh no poor robbie rotten :'( ) "I didn't come here to hear lame back stories. I came here to suck some hard candy and to suck some dick. And i'm all out of hard candy. Come here Robbie. I'm going to make you a real man." said graphfield as he drops his glock and goes down on Robbie. Breadman overwhelmed with jealousy pulls out his most stale piece of sourdough and slits robbie's throat. " nobody steals my man" says breadman in the most cool way a person could say something. "WTF" Graphield exclaims "Real Boner killer buddy, now we have to clean up the body and on top of that I have blue balls" (Graphield can't finish without at least 4 people pleasuring him). Breadman quickly realizing his folly he calls up graphields favorite establishment, frech lasaga and big ass titties, to get graphfield his needed pleasure. "That's better" Graphield huskily voices as he chuffs back a fat dart. Breadman and graphield wait for the refreshments to arrive and have a rambunctious night in Robbie Rotten's former lair.
Chapter 10
After Graphfields biggest case he walks up to the chief and exclaims "I'm done with the force… im too old for this". The chief loudly retorts "We still need experienced bluebloods like you out there to stop crime in this filthy city." Graphield smoothly responds in the most coolest way possible "Sorry chief, but I'm toasted… literally with Breadman". " i see breadman is rubbing off on you, i respect your choice to start a family. god knows i passed on all of my chances." responds the chief "hand me your badge and your gun and get chasing after the man of your dreams"(this is so cute). "Ahh… back to where it all began" Graphield reminisces "Thanks chief. I won't forget this moment ;)" Graphield hands his badge and gun and looks for breadman. Breadman walks up to Graphield and asks "How did it go?" Graphield grins as he pulls out a diamond studded 420 carat ring "He gave me this… Will you marry me." Breadman gasps "OMG YES I LOVE U".
Epilogue
After the wedding, Graphield and Breadman lived happily ever after in the countryside where they have a little bakery with 69 little breadchildren.
The End