Wait For Me To Come Home
Disclaimer- I do not own TMNT or any of the characters therein. Some VERY rich dude does.
Rating - Mature Audiences ONLY
Story Warnings- Emotional distress, Depression, Anger issues, Tcest, Sex Scene (Don't like these topics? Do not read.)
Pairings -Raphael & Leonardo (Don't like? Do not read.)
Universe- 2007
Ages- Leo and Raph, 23 (I made them this age to account for time passage in the series storyline.)
Summary- Leo is gone, and Raph is at the end of his rope.
Chapter credits - Song : Photograph by Ed Sheeran
Italics Print - Song Lyrics
** WARNING** This Story contains a SEX scene. Do not read if you do not like!
WAIT FOR ME TO COME HOME
The New York City skyline at night time, some called it an obscene monstrosity. Others called it beautiful. The lone figure, sitting high above the masses, was one of those who called it beautiful.
Or he once did.
Now it was just a reminder of what he had lost.
Loving can hurt
Raph sat on the very edge of the roof of one of New York's many high rises. His feet dangled over the edge, an untouched beer by his side. He gazed out over the city, his city, letting the sadness he felt inside wash over him.
This was the one night of every month the red masked ninja let himself feel his sorrow. If he didn't, he knew it would consume him. It would destroy what was left of the things he held most dear.
Loving can hurt sometimes
In the beginning, the hurt had been easier to control. He had had others to share his pain with. They had felt the same things he did. The sadness, the sorrow, the unbelievable emptiness their brother, Leo, had once filled.
Their oldest brother had left to train in South America, to become a better leader. For them.
It is the only thing that I know
He understood the reasoning behind the decision. He hadn't liked it, nor had he approved, but he understood.
He had gotten used to it in a way. Leo kept leaving.
As a family, they endured. Each one hurting, yet still secure in the knowledge Leo would return. He always had.
The day he was to come home came. And went.
Leo had not returned.
When it gets hard
A year later, Leo still had yet to come home.
A lot had changed in that time. It had to. They were ninja. Ninja adapted.
Donnie had gotten a job. He helped people with their computers. Mikey was working too. He entertained at birthday parties for kids. Splinter meditated. April and Casey started a business and a life together. Each one coping in their own way. Adapting. Moving on.
Their pain had faded, eased, becoming a small, dull throb of sadness. Easily handled. Easily ignored.
You know it can get hard sometimes
He had refused to, at first. To the emerald turtle, adapting meant moving on, moving on meant forgetting. He would never forget his brother. His lover. His love.
He covered his pain with anger. The anger he tried to bury, like always. This time the anger would not be contained, so great was the pain it masked.
Splinter was blamed. Donnie and Mikey accused of never caring.
The fear of losing what he had left drove him to vent his grief on those who held no sway on his heart. The criminal lowlifes of New York City.
It helped.
He made peace with his family.
He adapted.
He moved on.
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive
Every night he scoured the streets. He vented his rage on those who sought to hurt the innocent. It helped control the fury.
Only one thing would douse it.
Leo.
His family couldn't fathom why he was so angry over Leo's continued absence. How could they? It was a closely guarded secret.
Raph and Leo loved one another.
We keep this love in a photograph
It wasn't the fierce, loyal love of family like he felt for Donnie and Mikey. The love he felt for Leo was more, all consuming.
He did not just love his brother, their leader. He was in love with Leo.
And Leo was in love with him.
Their time together had been so short before Leo left. Less than a month.
We made these memories for ourselves
They had tried to express a lifetime of love, feelings, words, into those too short days.
That last night together had been spent loving one another, making promises of the future. Promises of a lifetime together, loving, being.
He had clung to those promises as a drowning man does to a life ring. Going over them in his head, planning in minute detail how to make them reality.
They had slowly slipped from his grasp, settling down amongst the never ending pile of hurt surrounding his heart, breaking his spirit.
Hearts are never broken
A plane passed overhead. Teary golden eyes followed the smoke trail, like a path to his dying hope. He allowed himself a moment to wonder.
Was Leo on that plane?
Was that the aircraft that would bring his brother, his lover, back to him?
He no longer felt even the tiniest flash of hope, joy, at the thought anymore. It had been so long.
Too long.
Times forever frozen still
He looked back down to the streets below. The masses were growing. The traffic increasing. The city was waking from it's fitful slumber.
His night was coming to an end.
Slowly, he started his way back home. There was only one stop left to make. One final part to his grief.
So you can keep me
He walked slowly through the sewers. Stopping at certain places along the well traveled path. Remembering.
The turn where he saw Leo after a particularly nasty battle. He had felt overjoyed to see his brother alive. Fear had then squeezed his heart, seeing the oozing red marks littering the leaf green body. The same fear that haunted him now.
Here was where they shared their first kiss. A few steps beyond that, their last.
Inside the pocket Of your ripped jeans
Tears, unchecked, dripped into the puddles under emerald green feet.
He turned down a small maintenance tunnel. He made his way to the small, now twice abandoned room at the end.
The room where he and Leo had made love to one another the first time. And the last.
Holdin' me closer 'Til our eyes meet
He dropped the battered black duffel beside the door before crossing the threshold. He never wanted that to enter here. This was a place of love, not anguish.
Only a few items occupied the room. A bed, neatly tucked in a corner, and a shelf, holding the snub of a candle, and a picture frame.
He ignored the candle. He needed no light. He knew the room by heart. It was kept only because it was Leo's favorite scent.
He picked up the frame, caressing the image it held lovingly.
You won't ever be alone
With a heart wrenching sob, the emerald turtle collapsed to his knees. He cried uncontrollably. This was the only place he allowed himself to. He crossed his arms over his chest, grabbing his shoulders. The picture pressed securely to his chest, over his heart.
Wait for me to come home
His massive form seemed to fold in on itself as the pain surged up. He didn't try to stop it. He couldn't. It had grown to unimaginable proportions.
This one day of the month, he allowed himself to feel it. To let it take hold of him. To let it scatter more cracks onto his soul. Shatter him just a little more.
Loving can heal
He uttered the one word he tried to avoid. The one word that would break him. The one word that still gave him hope.
"Leo."
With that single utterance, his pain surged.
This was also the only time and place he allowed himself to beg, to plead for the only thing in all of creation he wanted.
"Come home."
Loving can mend your soul
He expected no answer.
He knew none would come. Only silence and the echoes of his pain greeted him.
That was all that had ever greeted him here, since Leo left.
In time, his sobs eased. He checked the precious frame for damage. None.
One calloused finger traced the leaf green cheek.
And it's the only thing that I know
Slowly, he stood. he placed the picture back in it's place on the shelf, swiping away the collected dust.
With a final sniff, he scrubbed the back of his hand across his cheeks. His time grew short. His brothers would question his delayed return.
I swear it'll get easier
Once again he spoke the promise made so long ago.
"I'll wait for you to come home."
He barely felt it, the fingers that tentatively brushed his arm.
He spun, expecting Donnie or Mikey. They knew. They had to know. How could they not, after so long?
He blinked. His breathing hitched. He felt as if his heart stopped, only to beat again, a thundering in his chest.
Remember that with every piece of ya
His knees failed. He collapsed to the floor. The image followed him.
His hands grasped, finding purchase on the arms that, for too short a time, had held him so lovingly, so gently.
"Leo," his voice barely a whisper.
And it's the only thing we take with us when we die
The smile he had treasured in his memories failed in comparison to the one before him.
His mind rebelled. It couldn't be real. He had lived with fading hope for too long.
He wept.
We keep this love in a photograph
Strong arms gathered him up, lifting him effortlessly. His arms circled around the neck he had so often dreamed of kissing again.
He inhaled, drinking in the sweet scent he had all but forgotten.
We made these memories for ourselves
Gently, he was laid on the bed. Calloused fingers, as soft as down, touched his face, tracing paths of wetness.
Soft lips kissed his tears away.
Where our eyes are never closed
His sodden mask was gone. Fingertips traced his eyes, his cheeks, mouth.
He frantically searched the hazel eyes above him, rediscovering every green and gold fleck he had, to his shame, forgotten.
Our hearts are never broken
His fingers reached up, brushing away the obscuring blue.
The hazel eyes he treasured were gone, locked away behind leaf green lids as gentle pressure rest against his palm.
Times forever frozen still
Lips met his, stealing his breath. Gently searching, probing, relearning.
He opened his mouth, drawing in the taste he had been denied for so long. He was gently coaxed deeper into that taste, reveling in it, trying to take all of it inside him.
So you can keep me
He never wanted to part from it again.
Silently, he cursed his lungs. He was forced to leave that taste behind. He clung desperately to broad shoulders as he gulped in air.
Fingers and lips relearned his body, as he in turn relearned the one over him. Forgotten muscles traced, and committed to memory once again. Every scratch, every nick, groove, each scar, he found anew.
Inside the pocket
He cried in joy. His memory had held true.
He found new scars, It was to be expected. So much time had passed. He touched them, traced them, made them part of his memories.
Of your ripped jeans
He felt the ghosting fingers pause at times, finding changes to his shell, his skin. Hot tears fell to burn trails along his shoulders.
So precious were those tears to him.
Holdin' me closer
Questing fingers moved over his thigh. Unsure hazel eyes asked.
He nodded.
'Til our eyes meet
The smile returned. So beautiful.
His legs opened, along with his heart. Walls fell, crumbling to dust in the face of emotions too long held in check.
You won't ever be alone
Except for one day out of every thirty.
He yielded.
And if you hurt me
His body burned at the intrusion. Sad eyes watched, searching. His hands tightened, silently pleading.
The burning vanished in a burst of light. Pleasure flooded his soul as it did his body.
That's OK baby, only words bleed
His lover, his love, was home.
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go
The caressing of his inner core soothed him. Healing began.
All too soon, it was gone. What he desired was pulled from his body, leaving him bereft.
Wait for me to come home
Again, he felt abandoned. He couldn't stop the involuntary sob from escaping his chest.
Wait for me to come home
A loving hand cupped his cheek. A thumb brushed tenderly over his closed eyes.
Wait for me to come home
He opened his eyes, blinking rapidly. The sadness he saw in those hazel eyes matched what he had felt for so long. So deep. So consuming.
Wait for me to come home
A light brushing along his inner thigh. Pressure built. He burned. He was whole once again.
The emptiness in his heart was filled along with his body.
Oh you can fit me
He cried out, wrapping his legs around the scarred shell. Drawing the body over him deeper.
Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen
Everything felt as it should. His love soared, expanded, encompassing them both. Waves of pleasure washed over him.
Next to your heartbeat
Strong fingers wrapped around him. He was stroked within and without.
Words of love, softly spoken next to his skin, flooded his mind. Apologies made for sorrows endured. Promises made anew.
Where I should be
Bodies linked.
Hearts healed.
Keep it deep within your soul
Souls united.
All too soon it ended. He wanted it to last forever. He refused to let go.
Hazel eyes filled his vision. Loving arms held him close.
His fingers reached out, stroking leaf green skin. Reassuring himself it was real, not his grieving mind trying to cope with seeming endless sorrow.
And if you hurt me
He touched wetness. Saw the trails. His heart ached. He kissed them away. He hadn't been the only one to hurt.
That's OK baby, only words bleed
They held each other.
Inside these pages you just hold me
Time slowed, and passed.
And I won't ever let you go
"I waited," he said.
"I came home," was the reply.
When I'm away
I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost
Back on sixth street
Hearing you whisper through the phone
Wait for me to come home
Thanks for reading.