Summary: Title means "the beginning" in German. The events leading up to my story "Conception" (though I actually think they are both better separate). It's the beginning of a new phase in Mulder and Scully's relationship. MSR. Kinda inspired by some awesome poetry I read this week and by the dialogue between Scully and that super soldier in the episode "Trust No One" (9x06):
Shadowman: Your size? I know your blood type, your resting heart rate, your childhood fear of clowns. I know the name of your college boyfriend, your true hair color, your ATM pin number, favorite charities, pet peeves. I know you spend too much time alone. And I know ... that on one lonely night you invited Mulder to your bed.
Scully: Oh, my God.
Shadowman: I was as surprised as you are.
Scully has a craptastic day. Her car breaks down in a rain storm. Whoever will she call to rescue her? Comments are da bombshizzle. I'm serving up a big plate of fluff for dinner again so I hope ya'll like it.
Disclaimer: It's all Chris Carter's. I just take Mulder and Scully off the shelf and play with them occasionally. I promise to play nice. Credit to anonymous poet who submitted the poem on alcoholism.
DEN ANFANG
Scully made a mad dash through the park and into her car, pulling her suit coat over her head. She slammed the car door shut behind her and put the key into the ignition. Turned it. Nothing. Turned it again more forcefully. Nothing. Damn. Rain hammered the car window. It threatened to break the wind shield and flood the car; send Scully swimming in the street. Shit. She thought to herself, biting her lower lip. Why the hell is this happening to me now? Hasn't my day been bad enough? She scrolled through the contacts on her cell's LCD screen. Mom's in Phoenix. She looked up at the clock on the dashboard. It read 11:37. Charlie and Anne are definitely asleep by now. She shed her wet jacket and threw it in the back seat. Skinner would kill me if I called him now. He'd probably dock the trip from my paycheck. Hopelessly she flipped her phone shut and shivered, folding her arms across her chest. Scully let out an exasperated sigh and let her head hit the steering wheel, which in turn blasted the horn. She turned to watch the little rivers of rain flow down her window. Scully closed her eyes and reclined in the driver's seat, figuring she might as well try and get comfortable. At least then there was a chance of sleeping until an auto mechanic opened, or until the rain let up...then it hit her like the noon train to Manhattan. Mulder! Of course! He would be up. She mentally kicked herself for that not occurring to her first. Scully quickly pulled out her phone and dialed the number that was engrained in her memory. It rang. C'mon, Mulder. Please pick up.
"Hello?" Mulder answered. The sound of grunting and moaning could be easily heard in the background. Probably the TV.
"Mulder, it's me. Is this a...bad time?" Scully asked wearily into the phone.
"Not for you Scully. I'm glad you called, actually. I've been meaning to talk to you about this latest case all day. Some new stuff has surfaced. I have this contact in Minnesota named Albert Dunham and he sent some really interesting stuff over to the Bureau this morning, Scully." Mulder turned off the VCR and Scully could tell he was moving towards his desk. Here he goes.
"Mulder, I-" Scully croaked
"I think you're gunna like this. Three more victims have been found in a camp site near Lake Bemidji. All three showed signs of neck trauma, had injection sites on the temples, and dirty feet. What's more, the woods were lousy with a green, foaming liquid-classic abduction. Too bad none of them survived. We could close the X file so much faster."
"Mulder, I've told you a thousand times-if not more-that that darn green foam is most likely nothing more than moisture reacting with calcium deposits and pollution in the ground or an animal secretion, my guess is amphibian. There's no X file to be found. Science can't be debated here."
"So I was thinking you could meet me at the lab around 6:30 tomorrow morning to examine a sample of this liquid and finish the autopsy on the last Virginia victim. You told me last week you packed a week of clothes in a suitcase for if I ever needed to leave quickly. Where is that? Our flight leaves for Minnesota at 10. We-"
"Our flight when? Mulder tomorrow is Sunday, in case you didn't know. I need sleep." she rubbed her throbbing head. She couldn't argue tonight, not with him. "You know what? Minnesota tomorrow at 10? Sure. Fine. Whatever. My car broke down outside Takoma Park and I'm stuck. Will you come and get me?" Desperation dripped from every syllable.
"And you let me ramble all this time? Of course. I'll be there as soon as possible." Click.
Mulder was true to his word and then some. Scully knew he had speeded in getting there. Mulder's apartment was a good half hour away from the park and he arrived in just over ten minutes. She wished he would drive more carefully, especially in the storm. He pulled up next to her and hurriedly ran around to duck into the passenger seat of Scully's car; jumper cables in hand. "At your service, m'lady." Mulder joked as soon as the door was shut. "What are you doing all the way out here by yourself? Do you know what time it is?" Concern reached every corner of his attractive face.
"I'm fine, really. I just needed a drive. I'm so sorry to make you come all the way out here. It's to the left of the filing cabinet in your closet, by the way." Mulder had a puzzled look on his face. "The suitcase of clothes I packed for you. You asked where it was before we hung up earlier. That's where I put it-in your closet. You might be able to find it if you sorted through that place more often. I can do that next weekend if you want. Your toothbrush and razor are at my place, so you'll have to get those before we leave." Her eyes were avoiding contact with him, but Mulder had worked with Scully enough to be able to feel the anxiety that was radiating from her. He took her hand in his.
"I know you can take care of yourself, but even I wouldn't want to get caught out here alone at night. And I'm not even a ridiculously gorgeous woman. Not much fazes me these days but you telling me you were out here gave me a good scare." His soulful eyes got lost in her crystal clear ones. Mulder always made her day better. "Let's see if I can get this thing running again." Mulder left her and went out into the downpour. She watched as he opened the hood. He hooked up the jumper cables to his car and fiddled with various parts of the engine. The whole time he had the same focused expression he had during an investigation, while the two of them were deep in discussion. Within minutes the car burst back into life. The heat turned on and a non-descript oldies station twanged softly on the radio. Again Mulder came around and slid himself into the seat next to Scully. This time his hair was plastered to his forehead and his grey t shirt was soaked and seemed to cling to every muscle. "There you go." Scully had to admit Mulder was a hot handy man-not to mention a hot wet one.
"Thank you." she choked, barely audible from her closing throat. Scully turned her face away from him. She couldn't let him see her cry. He was her colleague, her equal, her partner. How could she crumble in front of him? Mulder's hand carefully cupped her chin, turning her head so he could see her face. Tears rolled down her cheek. He instinctively pulled her into his lap. Scully felt his lips kiss the top of her head. She melted and the tears were now flowing freely, the salt water mixing with the rain which already drenched Mulder's chest.
"What's wrong?" he said hoarsely. Scully took a second to steady herself. She felt like a little girl curled up in her father's arms.
"I was just thinking about Emily today. I-I lost her, today, three years ago. I know God had a reason for not allowing her to be her mother, I believe it, I do. Some days-like today- it's just harder to deal with the fact that I never had that chance; that I will never be given it. I wanted to raise her more than anything. Not being able to get pregnant has just left me with this void I can't seem to fill. When I wake up, it's there. When I go to sleep, it's there. When go to work, it's there. Everyday I just hope I wake up from this nightmare-*poof*-and I won't be barren anymore. It finds me-mocks me. It tries to cut me down and today I let it. I let it get to me and beat me." She hid her face in his shoulder. Fresh tears came. Mulder kissed them away where they fell.
"You are the strongest woman I know, Scully. God and everyone who can truly see you want you to be a mother, and I'll be right there the second you are to watch in awe at how breath taking it is. I wish it was in my ability to right what has been wronged, to give back all you've lost." Tears now welled in Mulder's eyes. He had a fierce, Herculean desire to protect the woman he loved. He would have given up any of his past moments of irreplaceable ecstasy to wash away the scars that the evils of The Truth had so deeply engraved upon her. He wanted justice to be brought upon those that had caused this incredible, loving person so much pain. They stayed like that, intertwined for some many minutes, their heart beats synchronizing. Scully broke the silence with a start
"Do you hear that?" Scully said incredulously.
"Hm? Hear what?" Mulder wondered exactly how long Scully had been out driving the gloomy streets. Scully knew this moment was not unromantic, but this was just too much. She turned up the radio. The first notes of Cher's "Walking in Memphis" had just begun to pipe in over the old speakers, the song they had slow danced to a little over two years previous in Bloomington. Mulder had not forgotten. For once Scully didn't stop to question.
"Dance with me." Scully said plainly. Mulder let out an amazed laugh.
"Why Miss Scully, I thought you would never ask."
Mulder left the headlights on and turned the radio to maximum volume, holding the car door open for her to exit first. He took her into the light streaming onto the road in front of the car. Mulder held Scully close and they rocked rhythmically to the music. The road was deserted. They were alone. The rain seemed to only heighten the sensation of their bodies around each other. The water stripped them of their ability to co-exist; molded them into two halves of a single entity, which without one half had no hope of survival. I am in Fox Mulder's arms. Her first true smile of the day graced her lips. Scully vowed that moment to always return to those arms-her safe place. The song ended.
"You're gunna catch a cold out here if you stay any longer, Dr. Scully." He led her back to her car. Scully didn't have to tell him to follow her back to her apartment building. Scully didn't have to tell him to park next to her and open the car door for her when they got there. Scully didn't have to tell him to take her hand in the parking lot and come with her into the lobby of the building. She didn't even have to tell him to walk to the elevator door with her.
They rode the elevator in silence together, still holding hands. Once the doors opened Scully led Mulder down the hallway and towards her apartment. They made it about 15 steps until it happened.
He kissed her.
This was no sympathy kiss. Not because she cried or to comfort her. Scully jumped in her skin. He felt like molten sugar on her lips, so soft and sweet yet the heat was seductive. She parted her lips, opening her mouth slowly, giving all of it to Mulder. He leaned her tenderly against the wall. They were wolves ravenous after a long, dormant winter. Hungrily they clawed at each other, like the meaning of life was at the back of each other's throats and they just had to search. He didn't pull back, and she didn't tell him to. She was surprised she didn't stop him, tell him this was wrong. She was even more surprised that she felt herself pull him closer, both wanting and needing to feel his weight against her. Scully reluctantly forced herself to separate from him. What should she do? They did not fit neatly into the normal courtship guidelines. "Come in? You still have to get your stuff from the bathroom anyway, right?"
"Right," Mulder replied, lust in his eyes and his breathing heavy.
Scully opened the door and they both entered, the air heavy around them. Scully methodically walked across the living room and into the bathroom. She retrieved Mulder's things and returned to stand in front of him. Both half expected literal sparks to appear from their beings and crackle between them. He stepped closer and embraced her, putting his forehead against hers. "I can leave if you want, Scully. I'm not asking for anything and you certainly don't owe me anything. I really just wanted to be sure you got home safely."
"I know, Mulder," Scully couldn't imagine spending the night without him. 'I know you're not expecting anything-but will you-do you think you would spend the night here?" She craned her neck up and looked straight into his eyes. Take it or leave it.
"Anything, Scully." Mulder looked at the couch. "Your couch has always been about four times more comfortable than mine anyway."
"No, not here. I mean in there," Scully made a motion towards the bedroom. "In there-with me." Shaking only slightly she took Mulder's hand to draw from his strength, leading him towards the bedroom where he had been a thousand times previous. The difference in this visit, however, was palpable to them both and when Scully pushed the door closed, it clicked with sound of both an ending and a bright, shiny beginning.