A/N : this is my first DA fic. Yay! Plz RnR! My story kind of follows the game and kinda doesn't. Hey, I like 'what ifs' It's a thing, it makes plot bunnies and that make little plot bunny babies...

Disclaimer : If we fans could only live in this world we would be greatly sustained! Alas, that's not the case, so we don't actually own any of this...boo.

Chapter 1

Pain.

A basic natural sensation that lets one know of physical or mental distress. A discomfort as a result of some trauma that has been inflicted on ones person.

There's all kinds of pain, physical and mental. Someone is probably documenting a list at this very moment of all the different ways one could experience this sensation. This evasive nuisance, scribbled down on parchment with ink and quill, long and thought out.

It sits there in the dark, patient, watching and waiting for it's turn to surface again and again. Slowly it eventually slithers it's way past barriers and guarded minds. Like venom it can spread and torture and corrupt.

Natural. Normal.

There's nothing normal here, there hasn't been for a very, very long time.

Mind fuzzy, a girl sits by a fire, arms wrapped around her knees. Green orbs study the dancing flames, mesmerized by it's rhythm. She tilts her head back and tries to shake away the memories of recent past.

It doesn't work.

Her name...she's called many things. Botanist, healer, witch, Hero, friend, warden, bitch, Mage...

And just like that, with one silly little word, her world comes to a complete halt. Mage. Like dripping acid, how quickly people are to spit out that word like an accusation, an instant sentence.

With one word, her hopes and love are pushed aside for the benefit of everyone else. For the sake of what is right...Please...

She massages her scallop with her fingertips, letting her raven dark locks fall down her back.. Foolish girl, did you think that being a Hero would matter? That it would change anything, especially that word? Treacherous thoughts indeed.

Promises and words spoken in the dark, just months ago, long forgotten, now just a haunting memory of what could have been. Lies. A reminder of what it is to be human and to feel pain.

Her breath catches in her throat when she realizes that her chest is hurting, her heart is pounding, slowly and out of sync. Because it's been broken. Eyes moistening, she refuses to let tears fall for things she could of had. For what ifs. Straightening her back and balling her fists, she stands.

"This Mage, is going home." Selena stairs down at her mabari, her last companion. "Come on Marsh..."

Picking up her staff, Selena makes her way towards Calenhad.

It's damp.

When hasn't been? A stone tower, on a lone island in the middle of a lake, it's always been damp. Not like this.

The air still has a musky odor that feels like it clings to your skin. Under armor and clothing, it feels that much worse. Humid, warm and grimy. Almost as if one has worked hard all day in the sun and dirt, only to put on clean clothes and armor and then bake to a perfect golden brown.

Moisture, of course, is the blame here. The many still broken windows in need of repair, is what allows the breeze carried off the lake to swoop in.

Cullen's chest heaves a heavy breath that shows even with all the weight of his armor. "The books and tapestries will be ruined..." Why does that matter? He doesn't know, doesn't even really care.

"Hmmm? You don't say." Wynne glances down at him from a ladder.

The Templar clears his throat. "Sorry. I...uh...it just occurred to me... After all, books will be needed for the new apprentices that is..." His weight shifts from his left to his right leg, memories of this place uneasy.

"Everything you ever wanted Templar." A hiss of poison had spoken into his mind. "Curves and hair. Flesh and bone. All you need to do is ask, allow yourself release and bliss." How had it managed to dwell that far into the depths of his most private and most guarded thoughts.

"But no heart? No Soul? To live a lie?" He had almost given in, almost. A pained memory, nothing more, he reassures himself.

The enchantress studies him questioningly. "Are you alright Ser?"

"Wha-?" Had he truly said that out loud? "I...fine. Sorry." Cullen leaves the library to find solitude in his newly appointed chamber.

"Home." Closing her eyes, Selena allows the spray from the lake sprinkle across her skin. Inhaling deeply, she stares up at the tower in front of her. "You always did have that affect on me, making me feel so small and off balance." She hears Marsh let out a low woof in agreement.

"Shall I wait...or...?" the boat master inquires confused.

The Mage smiles back at him warmly and tosses him a gold piece. "No. I'm not going to be leaving again."

The man gives her an awkward grin and gently pushes the boat from the dock. "Be careful in there miss, we folk heard strange tale of their being creatures still lurking in there."

"Is that right?" The girl rolls her shoulders and turns her attention back to the tower. "Guess we'll just have to see." She pats her animal guardian on the head.