A/N: Okay, well this was written at 5 am due to insomnia and my own snack of cherries and bawls and some rather interesting comments from people….I hope you can forgive my terrible humor and the sexual connotations…Thanks! Forgive, forgive for all my bad jokes by the way, its 5 something in the morning and I have had no sleep, and lots of caffeine! I lost all my previous stories on my old PC due to bad luck and a melt down… So I'm starting all over…with a new one-shot!

All disclaimers apply: I don't own Inuyasha, cause if I did, well...Kikyo...would...not be a clay pot. She just wouldn't be.
Anyway! Please enjoy this absurd little one shot and please...remember kids: Caffeine is only good in moderate amounts, otherwise you end up like me.

Kagome was sick…With an incurable disease. Yep, no doctors, scientists, or pure luck could cure her. Life, as of 4th hour, had chosen innocent Kagome as its victim for Gutter Mind Syndrome. This incurable plague was putting a major cramp into Kagome's mindset….

Kagome's day started out nice. Woke up with time for a shower, a decent breakfast and a cheerful jaunt to school. 1st through 3rd hour were pleasant enough. Paired with Sango in her morning block class, the two girls were able to chatter and gossip giddily while doing their history project. Third hour she sat with Miroku, which was always fun as he made jokes and was outrageously flirty to the point of no return. Fourth hour though, well that's where it all went down the drain….

Flashback

Kagome slid into her seat and smiled at the people who waved, or gave a cheerful good-morning. Without a doubt, Kagome loved her English class. Not only did it have good literature but it was filled with interesting people.

Kagome didn't even look up in surprise when the bell rang and the teacher, Mrs. Diamond strode in.

"Good morning class! I hope you're all prepared to start today on our poetry unit! That's right my little peach blossoms, we have poetry to read, and odes to write! So! Here is our first assignment. I am going to pair you up with someone in the class…You are going to spend some time with this person and by the end of the week, have written an ode to them. Everyone get ready to get all your creative juices flowing!"

Now Kagome was a good girl, but having just spent the last hour with Miroku, her mind had wandered into the gutter. At Mrs. Diamond's last sentence Kagome couldn't help but feel her face flush and a smirk somehow wormed its way onto her face.

Kagome thought to herself, 'Who knew Miroku could rub off on someone so easily?'

With a muffled laugh Kagome heard the sexual innuendo in her own though and struggled to take her mind off of anything perverted, it was, however…a hard task. Once again, a snicker climbed it way up her throat, stuck deep in the back.

When Kagome's name was called breathily, and she looked up with a raised eyebrow and a smirk and waited for her partner to slip into her plans. As lady luck would have it Inuyasha was her poetry mate.

Now Inuyasha, for all his bad boy image, wasn't that bad. The two of them had quite a history. She'd been helping her Grandpa at the shrine when Inuyasha stumbled there, looking to be absolved from whatever role he might have played in his girlfriend Kikyo's death. Since Kagome had been there, she had offered to help. After his initial surprise and anger at Kagome's uncanny resemblance to Kikyo, Kagome managed to get through his thick skull with a few words, a broom stick and a few choice threats that left the boy unsure if she was a miko, or possibly a Sadist.

Shortly thereafter the two of them had found common friends and they had gained a sturdy sort of friendly relationship. Despite popular belief, and their friends hope, the two felt no romantic interest in each other. However, things tended to change.

Kagome smiled at Inuyasha as he moved up to sit next to her, "Hi Inuyasha. So, what do you think? Ready to write an ode?"

Inuyasha scoffed, "Feh. Not till the end of this week, besides, we have to spend time together, remember Ka-Go-Me?"

With a raised eyebrow, Kagome responded sweetly to his sarcasm, "How could I forget oh Mighty Demon Dog?"

Inuyasha, was indeed, part demon. That, however, had disturbed Kagome quite a lot less then his table manners. It made people wonder, what kind of home life and family did this girl have exactly!

Instead Kagome just smiled, "Well why don't you and Miroku meet Sango and I at my place after school? Mom and Grandpa are gone for a couple days and Souta is going with Shippo to Rin's slumber birthday party."

Inuyasha shrugged, "Yeah okay. Why do we have to write these dumb things anyway I wonder? Its not like we're gonna nail anyone with whatever shit we write anyway."

Kagome's gutter mind caught up with her and she choked on a laugh, "Yeah well we can only hope…"

Inuyasha, however, was totally lost on the humor of his comment. He just shrugged it off and went about his class paying no attention to the teacher prattle on about requirements.

End Flashback

Kagome's day had steadily gotten worse. More and more things made the girl giggle and blush and snicker over as each word, phrase, and gesture suddenly developed sexual connotations.

Now, at home with her friends, Kagome did her best to keep her sexual jokes to herself. Miroku wasn't helping any.

"Kagome…I'm hungry!"

Sango sighed, "Miroku! You just ate about an hour ago!"

The handsome young man smiled back and responded, "Ah, but my lovely Sango, my appetite is insatiable!"

Once again, the double meaning hit Kagome fast and hard, and she found herself choking on her own laughter. Struggling to keep herself under control, Kagome didn't notice three sets of eyes turn on her questioningly. When she looked up Inuyasha spoke.

"Oi, Kagome, what's eating you?" And again Kagome found herself forced to bury her face in a pillow and scold herself, 'That's NOT what they meant, that's NOT what they meant, that's NOT what they meant!' It, however, wasn't working so well.

Sitting up, Kagome declared, "Snack time!" before she could move, Sango stood up, "I'll go grab something." With that, she wandered into the kitchen.

Inuyasha looked at Kagome closer and sniffed, "Oi, Kagome! What's with the"
Before he could finish Sango came back in carrying a four pack of some beverage and big bowl.

"Here you go guys, Bawls and cherries…"

That did it…

Kagome…was done for….

She burst out laughing, tears streaming down her face. Miroku peered at her, "Uhm…Is she okay? She isn't having a fit or something, is she? Its not contagious, right?"

Sango just blinked, "I dunno what's wrong with her…She seemed normal enough to me this morning."

Inuyasha, being Inuyasha, wanted to know what was going on. He thought about everything that had set her off….Slowly, his face took on a bright red color before…

"KAGOME! GROSS! I dunno weather to write about this or…or…or…"

Looking up from her own fit of giggles, Kagome understood that Inuyasha had caught on. Giggling, she lifted up a blue bottle of the drink and pointed to it. Unable to help himself Inuyasha snickered, before breaking into a full side-splitting laugh.

Slowly Sango and Miroku inched away, sharing confused, and slightly scared, looks with each other. Sango ventured speech first, "Ka….Kagome? What's going on? I…don't….get…it…"

Kagome held up the bowl of cherries and a bottle of Bawls. With a wicked gleam in her eye, laughter in her voice, and a smug look on her face she replied, "So anyone got an appetite for poppin' cherries and blue balls?"

This, of course, sent Inuyasha into another fit of hilarity as Sango's face grew red and shocked and Miroku just gaped in surprise.

Just then in burst Souta, "Hey sis! I forgot to tell you that I'm gonna be at Rin's!"

Kagome, still grinning, replied, "I know. Mom left a note…"

Souta nodded, "Oh okay…hey! Cherries! My favorite!"

Confused by their laughter he just decided to ask after the other thing he came for, "Oh, uhm Kagome? I was looking for my Bawls, not the blue ones, have you seen them?"

Souta never did quite understand why his innocent statement sent all four into a fit of giggles, or why his sister's face was so red….And somehow, he didn't think he wanted to know…He did, however, want to know how exactly Inuyasha ended up in Kagome's lap, and why Kagome's hair was such a mess…..

Thankfully his young mind couldn't fathom any possibility inappropriate enough for the minds of his sister and her friends, so walking out, he threw his parting commenting lightly and innocently, "Next time you have people over Kagome, maybe you should clean up first."

With a gasp Kagome's eyes widened and she looked at Inuyasa, "Wha...?" Inuyasha's only reply was a grin and a quip of, "Kagome, I think this is going to be the start to a beautiful relationship."

4 years later:

Kagome grinned at Inuyaasha, they were on their honey moon and happily enjoying the married life. Smiling sweetly Kagome looked at her husband, "Hey sweetie? Do we have anything to drink?"

Inuyasha looked in the mini fridge and chuckled, "How about some blue Bawls?"

The rest of the story, well...Its not my place to tell. We'll let it go with happily ever after, and many perversions to come!

---End---