Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy, Glad, or Fuzzy Lumpkin. I do not intend to break any copyright laws and am making no profit from this story. The songs is a parody of Little Peter Cottontail, or whatever it is, so sing loud and proud!
Little Bunny FuFu Hoppin' through the forest Picking on the chicken-wuss An eye patch on her head
"You will torment me no longer!" Chicken-wuss cried. He was just about to kill him self with a pointy stick when a chestnut fell from a tree and landed smack on his head. "Ow…"
They stared around in wonder for awhile, then chicken-wuss let out a piercing scream.
"The sky is falling! I have to go tell the king!"
Chicken-wuss and FuFu
Hoppin' through the forest
Going to tell the king
That the sky is falling down
On their way, they came across Porno Mag Mountain. While FuFu was beating up Chicken-wuss for staring, up popped Turkey-Irvy. And remember folks, just because they are Turkey-Irvy and Chicken-wuss that does NOT mean they get together.
"Get off a mah property." He shouted, pulling out the long and shiny and ever so faithful - I wonder what you're thinking now- Sadie, also known as Exeter. FuFu disposed of 'her' in one swallow. "You ate mah gun!" Chicken-wuss rolled his eyes, gave Turkey-Irvy a tape and said:
"It's called, 'How to convince yourself you are not a cartoon character.'" If you can tell which one, give yourself a cookie, unless you're on a diet. Celery and carrots will do. No actually, carrots and apples are quite fattening. How about a watermelon, or something… Anyway, speaking of delicious things…
"TURKEY- DELICOUS." FuFu moved in on Turkey-Irvy snarling like all bunnies do, but as she closed in, he gave her a BIG kiss.
"DELICOUS- VERY!" She used more enthusiasm in this sentence then usual, so…
Turkey-Irvy, Chicken-wuss and FuFu
Hopping through the forest
Wondering why they're hopping
It really hurts their legs
"GUN- HEAVY." She threw-up Sadie. Note: Don't ask me how a bunny can store a foot long metal gun in their system. Well, albino bunnies can get up to… big. Like, bigger than a cat and we all known THEY can swallow guns whole!
Turkey-Irvy had collapsed already and Chicken-wuss was just plain hurting. Then they saw a shed and decided to rest there. As they neared they could hear crying. FuFu prepared to eat whoever was in their way. In the shed there was a small boy.
"Why are you crying?" asked the ever caring and just generally all around perfect and drastically good-looking Turkey-Irvy.
"My mom's making me sleep in the shed because I traded our chocobo for jellybeans! The man said they were magic, ya know! And he was so nice, ya kno-o-o-ow!" He began to cry harder remembering his mom's horrible reaction.
With some comforting, the boy, Jin (short for…) decided to let them stay in the shed, at least it was something. Fu Fu enjoyed the fodder and bits of carrots that had been packed together in a bag for the chocobo that lived there previously.
When Jin woke up the next morning, he saw Turkey-Irvy and Chicken-wuss.
"Where's FuFu, ya know?"
"I think she went out for some breakfast," replied Turkey-Irvy. FuFu hopped out of the house and belched with Jin's mom on her breath.
"…"
"Ewwwww…" squealed Chicken-wuss, then he fainted. But the sweet smell of candy soon awoke him, and it was coming from the… jellybean stock!
So FuFu, Chicken-wuss, Turkey-Irvy, and Jin began to make their way up the jellybean stock. Slowly but surely, they made it to the top.
FuFu, being bold and desensitized by fairytales jumped off to the cloud aaaaaand... fell through.
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…"
"Uh no…" Chicken-wuss said in a voice that clearly meant he couldn't care less. "The bane of my existence is falling and will die… Ah…"
"…eeeeeeeeeeeeeee…"
Jin started to cry.
"…eeeeeeeeeeeeeee…"
"Nooo…" Turkey-Irvy yelled. "I was just beginning to warm her up too."
"…eeeeeeeeeeeeeee…"
"Oh well…" he added. "She was a big…"
"…eeeeeeeeeeeeeee."
"She stopped…" Jin sniffed. "Is she…?"
"…eeeeeeeeeeeeeee…"
"Oh, never mind, ya know! She just lost her breath! Um, is that getting louder, ya know?"
Little Bunny FuFu
Bouncing off Jin's trampoline
Looking like a meteor
Streaking through the clouds
Surprisingly, FuFu didn't come back down. She had landed on the doorstep of a castle, a huge, floating castle, which was now viewable to them as she had blasted a hole in the clouds.
Imagine an adorable albino bunny peeking over a ledge above you, tiny little cheeks twitching.
Now imagine that bunny spitting on you and pushing rocks onto your head.
With a leap from Jin and some help for Chicken-wuss and Turkey-Irvy-, as we know that turkeys and chickens are not that tall- everybody was up at the castle. When they got there, they could no longer see FuFu, but a FuFu shaped print in the doorway. FuFu was very impatient with large doors, but could easily smash through them, like all albino bunnies.
Turkey-Irvy and Chicken-wuss approached the door cautiously. When they got inside, they began to creep along the hallways, following the footprints FuFu had made in the hay that padded the floor. As you know, giants are very clumsy, and are constantly falling down. That is why they should never ever attempt to climb bean stocks.
When they came to the main door they heard a huge bellowing laugh, and the sounds of something wet being ripped apart… like teeth on meat… Gasp!
Is FuFu being eaten? And will the bitch finally die? Find out in the next exciting episode of… this thing.