A Big Fat Hamster that Eats its Poop, by Dickfart
Hamtaro woke up one night chattering its teeth as Laura poked him. Just because the sun went down doesn't mean that he wanted to wake up, but she always wakes up and dumps the nastiest part of dinner into his cage. Sometimes it's cabbage. Sometimes it's chicken bones. What Hamtaro wouldn't give for it to be an awesome t-bone stake, or some taco churritos.
Today it was broccoli, boild too much, with kraft singles rubber cheese drooping on the watery mess. Hamtaro chattered his teeth, and when she pet him while he was eating he turned around and bit her.
"Oww!" she said, then she sniffled. "Wah, mommy! Hamtoro bit me and it'sn bleeding."
Laura ran down the stairs crying, and Hamtaro took his chance and escoatpped from his cage. Fuckin' hamster was ran into the hole in the wall where he ran into Booss.
"Hamstertaro, I'll fuckin' kill you!" said Boss, pulling out a knife.
"So naive," Hamtaro says. Then he pulled out a gun and shot boss. "Guns rule!"
Boss bled to death and twitched in hamtoro's wll, and the lady Bijou appeared.
Bijou said no words at all. Instead she bent down, showing hamtaro her cooch and anus. In no time he boned and impregnated the lady Ham, and so he moved on and found Oxford.
"Hamtaro, you dick. I'll fuckinn KILL YEW," said Oxnerd, and he pulle oit his bow and arrow but it missed Hamtoeo knee.
"No, Oxfart. I kill YEW." And hamtora lit a yew tree on fire.
And then he gave Oxnar rd a hickey, stuck his dick inside of him, and bit his jugular til he dead.
"I'm a fuckin' pimp," said Hamtaro, smoking a fat blunt.
"Is that a pimp?" said Penelope. Then she shut the fuck up and opened her barn doors. Hamtaro had his hamdick buried in this one, tooo. He came at once, planting his baby seed in another lady, and then we then went along muffin top.
"Fuck, I need to fuck moar," said Hamutaro. gg So he done stiffed and found a Pashmina, then a Lapis, then a Lazuli, then a Sandy, Sparkle, Aunt Flow, and some other ho, and once he ran out of baby seed, he decided to get his jollies in more violents.
So he finds Howdy and fuckin murders him. Fuckin takes his favorite knife, cuts the fucker in half, chews on his liver, spits in Dexter's eye, bured his dick in his speeln. Took a poop and ate it, Adn then he founnd a hamster wheel and ran in it until it was sleep. 3
Some days or weeks later, the wall had eighty rodent babies, and they all piled on Laura's bed.
Then she woke up.
And it was AWESOME.
Until Bijou ate all the babies.
Hamtaro didn't mind though.
They were all pregnant again already.
The End