Neptune, stifling and predictable as always.
Keith did the crash and burn out of office that Logan figured he would. Good people don't stay in power, not in that town. Vinnie Van Lowe took over the office. The corrupt were back watching over the sunny place without a middle class, and all the salt of the earth types seem to sleep better at night. Logan doesn't. Fucking typical.
He spends most of the summer lounging around, surfing and working out. Living the Californian stereotype and why not? He's got nothing better to do.
Parker eventually sends him an email to say she's transferring schools. He types back it was nice knowing you, sweetheart but decides not to be an asshole and sends back some quick reply wishing her luck at her new college. Sometimes he's too goddamn nice.
Piz seems to fade out of Veronica's life after she gets back from her internship. There's no show, no fireworks, just one day he's gone. Logan is glad but doesn't say anything. Veronica doesn't need his pity, for more reasons than one. She does seem angrier than usual, though. He can see it bubbling under her skin, and he waits in tense anticipation for the eruption, exposing the parts of her she works so hard at concealing. She isn't working on her usual cases; she's floundering in fury. He can see it written all over her, in pretty cursive lettering, covering every inch of her pores. Everyone else seems to buy her shiny fake smiles. That's fucking typical too.
He can't stand to see it anymore, so he grabs her one day, all melodramatic-like and says come with me. She shakes her head, tells him he's crazy but gets in his car anyway. That's Veronica, contradictions-r-us.
They drive down to Rockford Bay. Logan talks Veronica into letting him rent a BMW black convertible, just for the hell of it. She sighs and mutters something about men, cars and midlife crises but goes along with it anyway. He knows she's at least slightly curious about how his new purchase handles.
They break every speed limit as they drive along the fluid ocean, blasting Queen from the stereo and leaving the burn of Neptune, rubber, and bitterness behind them. Veronica's hair streams backwards in golden ribbons, whipping violently in the wind. She laughs, and Logan has never seen anything so beautiful in his life, even if it's nothing but a damn cliché.
They go to a bar for cocktails, mixing and matching until their lips are painted red and their tongues stained blue. Veronica gets drunk; he realises when she slides her arms around his neck and gently kisses his collarbone before she finds his lips. Or maybe it was that he was tilted on his axis to her, he can't remember with the buzz. He feels younger than he has in years, his stomach bubbling with joy as he kisses her back. He never thought he'd taste her sweetness (marshmallowsandpromises) again. He squeezes his eyes shut and hopes they actually work out this time. Ever the optimist.
She dances under the stars, her bare feet hardly touching the sand. The ocean smacking against the rocks further up the beach is her only beat. Logan wishes he could film it - he hasn't seen her look so free since… He'll still tease her about it in the morning, though. Come on, Veronica Mars getting wasted? He'd have to be a saint not to. He can almost see the mirror image of Lilly dancing with her - he imagines it's something her ghost would do. Veronica stops abruptly and before he knows it she's tackled him to the ground. Oh shit, he thinks, Lilly is going to get a show. They pull each others' clothes off like there's a prize for speed. Her hands seem to be everywhere; sand isn't the best place; feels so fucking good… She tastes like suffering and innocence. He thinks it's a strange combination, but perfectly Veronica. Logan wonders what he tastes like. Probably death and just a little bit like rock star.
They wake up to the sea caressing their feet and quickly rush about getting changed before they give the locals a very good morning.
Logan can feel their happiness seeping away as they head back towards Neptune. Perhaps they need to get the fuck out of (dodge) Neptune. It's their Kryptonite. Nothing good comes from the town, with its shiny rich exterior, hiding the soul-sucking pit it actually is. Let's get married, he says. Don't be silly, she replies in that truly weary way only Veronica Mars can manage. He wants to scream that he means it. He has some desperate urge to bind her to him, to meld their skins as one so she can't ever let him go. It's all ridiculous over-possessive (albeit romantic, if he may say so himself) nonsense. Why not? he says instead. He figures any kind of melding on his part would get him sent to a mental institution, although sometimes he sees it in her eyes when she looks at him too. She licks her lips, rolls her eyes and lists the reasons. Too young, too volatile. No one that gets married in college lasts. He points out that Jake and Celeste did and they both laugh. They're the most screwed up couple alive, Veronica says and he knows, oh he knows they wouldn't last. They'd scream and fight and divorce in a year (if they're lucky.) But he wants that, he wants her.
Logan pulls up outside her house in the Range Rover, distraught to leave the BMW behind. Can we at least try again? Veronica shakes her head and his heart drops. I thought the sex on the beach kind of answered that question, she says wryly and he laughs. Oh, VeronicaVeronica, whatever would he do without her, as he soars free as a bird.
College rolls round and he meets her from class; they hold hands and carry each others books. They try not to be as screwed up as before; so it's all very fairytale romance. He thinks they could battle out Jake and Celeste for their coveted title though if they really wanted to, but they fucking love each other, which is more than the fucking Kanes could ever claim.
Logan still hopes and hopes and hopes.
You still love him, don't you? Piz accuses one day. It was all downhill from there. She doesn't hear from him again. Well, so long then, then, she thinks. She doesn't really expect it to hurt and it doesn't. He was too cheerful for her anyway, all sunshine and bouncing happiness, and she's quite happy being a dark fucking cloud.
It was amazing how easily the good things in her life just peeled away, like the skin of an orange. Like they were never meant to be permanent. Her dad lost his job protecting her, and she wears guilt like a coat of armour. She still can't believe supposedly sane people that functioned each day voted for Vinnie over her father. Jake Kane wins again and she's so angry she can't see straight. Veronica never could understand how the residents of one town could all be so goddamn blind.
Wallace is still in Africa and she misses him with every breath. Veronica has to say she's glad when Mac tells her Parker has left Hearst; it was getting old being glared at all the time. She pretends it doesn't suck her small list of friends just got shorter though. The internship was all paperwork and coffee, no chance to sink her teeth into anything.
Veronica feels like she can't breathe - wants to break out of her skin and run as fast as she can. She wants to scream and shriek and holler until she can't anymore. She's sick to death of everything falling away and she knows it will happen over and over and it makes her so angry she can barely stand it. But instead she smiles and says she's fine, totally fine.
Logan sees straight through her, she knows and loves him for it. She's sick of crying alone in showers.
His hand closes around her arm and it feels like freedom. Every word he says is a chance to get out. Come with me. She feels the protest bubble up, an automatic reflection, but climbs into his car anyway. They both know she doesn't mean it. Every mile they get away from Neptune she can feel the cracks begin to appear in her armour.
The ocean is deep and blue, the azure sky mirror-imaged. She wonders what it would be like to dive into perfection and swim and swim until she can't anymore, but she's not weak. She's not Lynn or Lianne who used liquid to absolve themselves (but oh god, she misses her).
Veronica decides to get drunk. The last time she did someone got raped (allherfault) but she feels safe here, drinking cocktails with someone she trusts with her life, even if she can't fucking admit it. Instead she kisses him, trying to tell him without stupid words bogging them down.
She loves the feel of the sand beneath her feet, shifting in time to her rhythm. Veronica wants Logan to dance with her, to feel exactly what she feels, but she knows he won't. He's standing there, looking at her with his warm brown eyes, and suddenly she wants to do a different kind of dance with him. Veronica loves him so much it hurts, deep and painful with every beat her heart takes. She wishes there was a way of staying forever on the beach wrapped in his arms, the salty scent surrounding them, the ocean swishing on the shore. It won't last, it never does.
Despite herself, Veronica still remembers the look that Logan got, in the cafeteria that day. She marks that day with an x in her mind; bright crimson ink. It was the day of realization and hope and love that she couldn't act on. It's easier to dream about it, more startling to recall in his presence.
She gets a ridiculous urge to run away, go to Vegas (her dad would never forgive her), keep him with her forever. She wants to climb into him and never be parted. Veronica pushes the thought away; it would end in disaster. Let's get married, he says for her, and she wants to laugh. He always says what she's too scared to. She wants to say yes, but it lodges in her throat and dull logic takes over (it always does). She thinks their marriage would be brief, but passionate, so fucking passionate but it would end in tears. (His, hers, both?)
Can we at least try again? he asks. When did we ever stop? she thinks. They try and try and each time it gets a little better. Maybe one day they'll be perfect. She shakes her head at the irony of LoganandVeronica being perfect. Veronica remembers he asked a question. She doesn't give people her body lightly, Logan should know that, and anyway, summer flings are for years gone by. She lets him break through the rest of her shield as they seal the deal with a kiss. Veronica can already feel Neptune's ghostly fingers begin to try and peel them apart. She wants to scream that they can make it, be stronger than that, but when has Neptune ever lost?
She still loves coming out of class and slipping her hand into his, anyway. It's all very sweet and romantic (even when they fuck in empty classrooms, the library, a few different closets, the professors' lounge after hours and one time the cafeteria at three am, just for kicks).
Veronica wants to fight and fight for them but secretly thinks they will fall sometime. It is Neptune, after all.
fin
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